After spending the afternoon raising money for Nelle's organization, Esme goes to Nelle's house to pay her a visit. She walks inside to find Nelle asleep on the recliner couch in front of the TV, seemingly having a bad dream, as she's tossing and turning.
Esme: Jan?
Nelle: No!
Esme: Jan! JAN! *She rushes over to Nelle*
Nelle: NO! Please!
Esme: JANNNNNN! *She begins shaking Nelle's shoulder, trying to wake her up*
Nelle: Wha-? *Breathing heavily, she opens her eyes and sits up* Esme?
Esme: Are you alright?
Nelle: Oh, wow, I must've fallen asleep in front of the TV. *She switches it off*
Esme (trying to keep the mood light): I see you were sitting in the broken seat.
Nelle: I wasn't aware that this side was broken too. I guess this means no more relaxing and unwinding until I get a new one. *She puts the chair in its upright position and stands up.*
Esme: I guess you were having a dream?
Nelle: I guess I was, only…
Esme: Yes?
Nelle: Nevermind.
Esme: Are you sure?
Nelle: Positive. You know how dreams are. They play tricks with your mind.
Esme: They certainly do. Are you sure you're okay though?
Nelle: Yes and no. It's true that these are just dreams, but sometimes they hit a little too close to reality. I know a lot of people in our group see me as some miracle worker who can bring families back together, and a lot of them tend to put me on a pedestal because they feel like I can do no wrong. They seem to be forgetting sometimes that I'm an ordinary human like everyone else, and I've made my own share of bad choices. There are some people who see me as the complete opposite of how you all see me.
Esme: That kind of sounds like my situation. I mean, making bad choices and having people hate you for it, even though I still can't remember everything. I'm just glad you can understand how I feel.
Nelle: Thank you. That makes me feel better, knowing that we can understand and sympathise with each other.
*She takes a drink from a glass of water on the coffee table*
Nelle: How did everything go today?
Esme: Well we raised more money than we ever have, at least according to Leann. This was my first time doing this of course.
Nelle: That's great!
Esme: But there were a couple of…weird things that happened. One was that Anna Devane stopped by our table. When Leann asked her if she'd like to make a donation, Anna stared at us for several seconds. I thought maybe she just found it strange to see me out in public, acting like a normal mom with a kid I'm struggling to care for. But Leann felt strongly that Anna was staring at her. In any case, Anna ended up donating a pretty huge amount of cash. I kind of don't think she was even paying attention to how much she was donating. Afterwards, she went to the other side of the plaza, but continued to stare at us, and we couldn't understand why she was doing that. I will admit, it seemed that Leann was the one she was staring at. I told Leann a bit about Anna, and how she shot Charlotte Cassadine, but I also mentioned how Anna has a lot of enemies from her time in the WSB, and now Leann says she's going to stay as far away from Anna as possible…
Peter's voice from Nelle's dream: That poor girl. What you are doing to her is so incredibly cruel. Poor Leann Harris…or should I say, LEORA HAYWARD!
Esme: You okay?
Nelle: Yeah I'm fine, I promise. What else happened?
Esme: So aside from that, things were going well, but then all of a sudden I got another headache. So I went to the restroom and took one of my pills. I then went for a short walk, then sat on a bench for a few minutes, and I then had, well I'm not sure if it was a hallucination or a memory coming back, but I was at Spring Ridge visiting my…visiting Ryan, and he handed me a picture of some girl and said that I reminded him of her, and that it was a shame we would never meet because he felt like we could be sisters.
Nelle: I see. Do you remember what the girl in the picture looked like?
Esme: Well she had reddish blond hair, kind of like yours. But I couldn't really make out what her face looked like, because everything was blurry, and that's when I snapped back to reality.
*The expression on Nelle's face suddenly changes from shaken up from her dream to excited and hopeful*
Esme: What?
Nelle: This is a great sign! I think your memory is coming back.
Esme: You don't think it's simply me hallucinating? I think those drugs that doctor prescribed do get me a bit high, although it doesn't last for very long.
Nelle: Well, I'm not a doctor, but it could be a little bit of both. Maybe the drugs help you tune out all the distractions of the world so it doesn't make your headaches worse, and in the process, your mind gets a bit clearer.
Esme: I can't help but wonder, did you…know my father? Like I said, I couldn't really see the girl in that picture he showed me, but her hair color was very similar to yours.
Nelle: Well it's not like I'm the only girl with reddish blonde hair. I'm sure with time you'll be able to remember more.
Esme: I hope so.
Nelle: How did the rest of the day go?
Esme: The rest of the day went fine. Henry made a new friend. A little boy around his age. I didn't really get a good look at him, but he said that they had fun playing with those boomerang balls. And Leann offered to babysit for the boy's mom. She also had a baby around Ace's age, and she seemed to really appreciate it. She definitely looked overwhelmed.
Nelle: I'm glad Leann is offering her services. She's great with kids. Did you ask her if she'd be willing to sponsor you?
Esme: That's actually why I came to see you. I asked her, and she said no!
Nelle: Oh my god, really? I'm surprised! She seems to really like you.
Esme: I know, and I've come to really enjoy spending time with her. Aside from you, she's probably the one I trust the most. She also seems to have a lot of free time, so I don't understand why she said no.
Nelle: Did you ask?
Esme: I did, and she said she doesn't feel that she can be a good sponsor for me because her situation is different from mine, and from everyone else's.
Nelle: Yes, her situation is…unique. But that doesn't mean she can't be a sponsor. What matters is the trust aspect. That's the whole point of being a trusted member. Did you ask anyone else?
Esme: I called a couple of people whom I've occasionally chatted with. Mostly small talk though.
Nelle: And?
Esme: They all said no.
Nelle: Really? I'm surprised.
Esme: So am I! I've spent so much time these past couple of months with this group. It really feels like a second home, for both me and Ace.
Nelle: And you've been a big help around here too. Especially in the daycare. That's what surprises me the most about Leann not feeling that she's in a position to sponsor you.
Esme: ERRGH! This is so frustrating! Leann told me that we're going to be having a big Christmas feast at some big mansion in Pine Valley, where we'll be welcoming the new members. But what if I can't find a sponsor?
Nelle: You'll still be able to attend. Everybody is welcome to attend any of our events, and these feasts are open to everyone's extended families as well. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, you get the picture. This is one of the reasons why we need to have such a large venue. We're going to be having a family-owned catering service providing most of the food, but people are welcome to bring their own food to contribute to the feast as well. And we've also hired a DJ for the afterparty. Do you like dancing?
*Esme has a vague memory of getting drunk and vomiting on the dance floor at a party*
Esme: Not really.
Nelle: You don't have to dance if you don't want to. But it's a very casual event, not some big formal dance. I want everyone to have fun.
*Esme has another vague memory of taking ballet lessons as a young child*
Esme: Oh my god! I just remembered that used to take ballet lessons! It sucks that I can't remember any of the dances though.
Nelle: I could ask the DJ to play 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,' and you could try to see if you can remember the dance steps. It's Christmastime after all. Perhaps that might jog some more of your memories about your life when you were living with your adoptive family.
Esme: But you just said that this is a casual event?
Nelle: Well it's what we usually do. But perhaps hearing the music might help you remember.
Esme: Um…
*She has another memory of her ballet days, where she's being fitted with her dress for an upcoming performance of "The Nutcracker"*
Young Esme: I don't wanna wear this dress! It's so…UGLY! And uncomfortable.
Woman's voice: But you have to wear it dear! It's part of the show.
Esme (present day): Ugh, I just remembered I hated the dress that I had to wear! Wouldn't I look a little…out of place…if I were to wear something like that to this feast?
Nelle: You wouldn't have to wear anything that screams 'Look at me! I'm a ballerina!' Just wear something light and easy to move around in.
Esme: I don't know Jan. I'm not sure how comfortable doing something like that. I already feel very awkward about myself as it is, and I don't want to add to it.
Nelle: Don't you think it might help you remember anything? About your childhood, and your adoptive parents?
Esme: Well…
Nelle: Tell you what. Why don't I have the DJ add 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy' to the playlist. If you decide you want to do it, all you need to do is let him know. And if not, that's fine too. And don't worry about the outfit. Besides, even if you did wear something a little more traditional, it's not like you wouldn't be forced to wear it for the entire evening.
Esme: Why does it feel like you're pressuring me into doing this? I don't have a sponsor, so that means I'm not going to become a trusted member at this event! And it's not like Pine Valley is right next door to Port Charles, so I'd be having to make the long journey there to…what, be free entertainment?!
Nelle: The only reason why I'm suggesting it is simply because it might help you remember. You'd be doing it purely for you, for the purpose of remembering and healing, not for the purpose of pleasing anyone else.
Esme: *sigh* Alright, fine. Tell the DJ to add it to the playlist, and I'll try and find something to wear that's comfortable and not overly frilly.
Nelle: Great!
Esme: But if I decide I'm not up for it once we're there?
Nelle: Then you don't have to do it. Like I said, this is for you. Not for me, not for Leann, not for any of the other members, not even for Ace. It's purely for you, as a healing tool.
Esme: Okay.
*She looks at her watch*
Esme: I should get going, it's almost Ace's bedtime.
Nelle: Yes, I'm pretty tired myself. Please give Ace a goodnight kiss for me.
Esme: I will. Night Jan.
Nelle: Goodnight Esme.
*Esme makes her way to the front door*
Nelle: Esme?
*Esme turns and looks at Nelle*
Esme: Yeah?
Nelle: Everything will be fine. Trust me.
*Esme gives Nelle a small smile, then walks out the door, which Nelle then closes and locks. Nelle then goes to her bedroom, changes into her nightgown, and gets into bed. As she's falling asleep, her mind wanders*
FLASHBACK (December 11, 2019):
Nelle is visiting Ryan in the infirmary at Pentonville, where he's being treated for an infection. They have just finished going over the details of Nelle's plan for escaping.
Ryan: You know you really remind me a lot of my daughter.
Nelle: You have a daughter? I didn't know that.
Ryan: Neither did I until not all that long ago. At least, I didn't know where she was, or what her life was like. Her name is Esme Prince, and she was given up for adoption after she was born. Her adoptive parents didn't treat her well at all.
Nelle: What happened to them?
Ryan: They died.
Nelle: Figures. That seems to happen a lot. People adopt children, don't treat them right, and then they die, leaving the children to fend for themselves. Did she have any siblings? Adoptive I mean?
Ryan: Yeah. She wasn't close with any of them.
Nelle: Just like Carly and me. Of course we didn't grow up together, but knowing Carly, I don't think we would've gotten along even if we did. So then what happened?
Ryan: She went to go live with her nanny. She also found out that I was her father. Her nanny, not surprisingly, told to stay away from me, and of course, she did the exact opposite!
*They both laugh*
Nelle: It sounds like you two have a good relationship.
Ryan: That's an understatement. I'm the one who knows the real Esme. I understand her the way neither her adoptive parents nor her nanny could.
Nelle: So where is Esme now?
Ryan: She's at a boarding school in France. Ecole Internationale De Chatel. I actually helped her get in.
Nelle: Isn't that the same boarding school that Spencer Cassadine is at?
Ryan: It is indeed! From what she's told me it sounds like they've become pretty close.
Nelle: Oh wow!
Ryan: I had a feeling that their paths would cross sooner or later.
Nelle: So do the two of you communicate often?
Ryan: We do. It's been a while since I've seen her in person, as she's all the way in France, but we write letters.
Nelle: That's nice.
Ryan: And the two of you are alike in so many ways!
Nelle: Really now?
Ryan: Yes. You both are very resourceful, and don't let anyone stand in your way. Esme really wanted to me her biological parents, and despite her nanny telling her not to do so, she found me. And I'm awfully glad she did!
*Ryan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crinkled, wallet-sized photo and hands it to Nelle.*
Nelle: Wow! She's gorgeous!
*Nelle gazes in awe at the girl's long, silky smooth brown hair and grey eyes.*
Ryan: Indeed. I think the two of you really seem like you could be sisters.
*Ryan reaches into his pocket again and pulls out a scalpel; Nelle looks up and gets a brief glance at the shiny blade before Ryan plunges it into her side, just missing her one remaining kidney!*
THE NEXT DAY
It's Willow's day off. Michael is at work, and Wiley is on his winter break from school. Amelia is sick, so Willow decides to take Leora up on her offer to babysit Wiley while she takes Amelia to the hospital. Leora has just arrived at the gatehouse.
Willow: Thank you for coming on such short notice Leann!
Leora: Of course! I love looking after the little ones.
Willow: I was going to take Wiley to the park before I noticed that Amelia seemed sick. Would you be okay with taking him to the park? You wouldn't really have to do anything other than keep an eye on him while he plays.
Leora: Not a problem!
Willow: Oh, thank you! I'm not sure how long I'll be gone. How much do you usually charge per hour?
Leora: Oh, don't worry about that. We can discuss it when you get back. I think it's best for you to just focus on Amelia.
Willow: Okay.
*Wiley comes running down the stairs.*
Willow: Wiley, you remember Leann, right? We saw her at Rice Plaza yesterday.
Leora: Hi Wiley!
Wiley: Hi!
Willow: She's going to take you to the park while I take Amelia to the doctor.
Wiley: Yay! Will Henry be there?
Leora: Unfortunately not today. But maybe we can arrange a playdate. Would you like that, assuming it's okay with you mommy?
Wiley: Yeah!
Leora: Would that be okay with you Willow? Obviously not today.
Willow: Yes that would be fine. Anyways, I'll let you know when I'm on my way home.
Leora: Okay. I'll be thinking good thoughts for Amelia.
Willow: Thanks Leann. Bye bye Wiley!
Wiley: Bye bye Mommy!
*Willow leaves with Amelia*
Leora: Come on Wiley, let's go!
Wiley: Okay!
*They both head to the park*
Meanwhile, Esme is searching online for videos for "Dance of the Sugar Plumb Fairy". She's trying to remember if she ever performed the dance before, but the music is so grating on her ears that she's having trouble focusing on the dance steps. It gets to the point where the music is giving her a headache, so she decides to take another pill. She pours a glass of water, puts the pill in her mouth and tries to swallow as quickly as possible in order to avoid the bitter taste, then takes a big gulp of water.
Esme (to herself): Ugh! Of all the ballets, why do I have to learn this one?!
*She suddenly remembers an incident that happened during one of her ballet rehearsals*
Woman's voice: Because it's part of the performance!
Young Esme: I don't want to do ballet anymore!
Ballet instructor: But you have to!
Young Esme: Why?
Ballet instructor: Because your parents signed you up for lessons!
Young Esme: They promised me they wouldn't sign me up again! They told me to try it, and if I didn't like it, they wouldn't sign me up again! But then they broke their promise!
Ballet instructor: Well, perhaps they changed their minds! Sometimes parents have good reasons for wanting their children to do activities that they don't necessarily enjoy. Especially if it's good for you. I remember your parents telling me that you have a sensory integration disorder, and your doctor recommended you take dance lessons as part of your physical therapy, to improve your coordination.
Young Esme: They always are telling me that something's wrong with me! I never seem to do anything to their satisfaction.
Ballet instructor: Well, you're a child. You are growing, and your parents want to make sure you're growing correctly.
Young Esme: The only thing about me that's growing is my hatred towards them!
Ballet instructor: Esme! What an awful thing to say about your parents, who have raised you from the day you were born, with nothing but unconditional love. Shame on you!
Young Esme: They don't love me though!
Ballet instructor: They do love you. They're showing it by having you do activities that less fortunate children don't get to do, such as ballet. Now, quit being a whiny brat and put your dress on!
*Esme snaps back to the present*
Esme: At least you're giving me a choice, Jan. I just hope you were being honest when you said I'm doing this for myself.
Leora and Wiley have just arrived at the park.
Leora: Remember, stay where I can see you, okay?
Wiley: Okay!
Leora: Have fun!
*She sits on a bench and watches the children play. After a few minutes, she hears the sound of running footsteps approaching, coming to a stop behind the bench. She looks up to see a girl not all that much younger than she is.*
Leora: Can I…help you?
Girl: Yeah! Stay away from…oh, sorry I thought you were someone else.
Leora: Um, okay, who did you think I was?
*A teenage boy Leora can only assume is the girl's boyfriend comes running over.
Boy: Charlotte, what are you doing?
Charlotte: I thought it was her Jake!
Jake: You're being ridiculous Charlotte! Let's get out of here. Maybe we can go to Kelly's or something.
*Without saying anything, Charlotte turns to leave. Jake turns towards Leora*
Jake: I'm sorry about that. My girlfriend must've...uh...forgotten to take her meds this morning.
Charlotte: What do you mean? I'm not on any meds!
Jake: Let's go. Have a nice day!
*They leave. Leora can hear Charlotte continuing to insist that she's not on any meds, and her boyfriend Jake telling her that maybe she needs to be on them. As their voices become too far away to make out what they're saying, Leora turns back to Wiley, happily playing in the sandbox, while remembering what Esme had told her the previous day*
Leora: Charlotte…