It was the day that the group was to leave for Pine Valley. Esme was going with Leora, with Ace in the back seat. That morning however, she awoke and opened her eyes only to find that she couldn't clearly see what was directly in front of her. Her vision was partially obscured by a white aura. She knew what was happening even though she had never experienced it before; an ocular migraine. Right now, her head felt fine, but she knew it was only a matter of time before she would get another headache that was likely to be quite intense, possibly making her feel nauseous and vomit.
She carefully made her way to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She felt around for the bottle with her headache medication, and gave it a shake. There was only one pill left. She hoped it would last for the long car ride. It was a good thing that Leora would be driving, as Esme was in no condition to drive herself.
After taking a paper cup and filling it with water, she put the pill in her mouth, and gulped everything down. She could still taste the bitterness on her tongue. Thankfully the minty toothpaste she brushed her teeth with got rid of it. But what if she needed to take another one? The directions said to take up to two pills per day as needed, with two hour intervals in between.
Her vision cleared slightly and she was able to see the writing on the bottle. No refills left. Would her doctor be able to authorize a new prescription and have it ready by the time they were supposed to leave? It was worth a shot. otherwise she might need to cancel the trip. So she decided to give him a call.
Esme: Come on, pick up!
Dr. Jonathan Kinder: Hello?
Esme: Hi, Dr. Kinder, it's Esme Prince.
Kinder: Hello Esme! What can I do for you?
Esme: Would you be able to call in a refill for my headache medication, and have it ready by this afternoon? I'm leaving for a short trip, and my headaches seem to be happening more often, and they're getting worse. I have what I think is an ocular migraine.
Kinder: Oh wow! Maybe we need to increase the dosage. I'll call in a new prescription for two milligram tablets instead of one milligram. And I'll tell the pharmacist to have it ready by 10 AM.
Esme: Thank you so much, Dr. Kinder! You're a lifesaver.
Kinder: Well, I'm a doctor. It's what I do.
*Esme laughs*
Kinder: So you say you're going on a short trip? Where are you going, if you don't mind me asking?
Esme: Pine Valley, Pennsylvania.
Kinder: Pine Valley? I used to have a practice there!
Esme: Oh wow!
Kinder: I haven't been there in years. How long are you going to be there?
Esme: Just a couple of days. I'm going with Jan's group.
Kinder: I hope you have a good time. Please tell Jan hello from me.
Esme: I will. Oh, before I go, I wanted to ask. Is this medication safe for nursing mothers to take?
Kinder: Yes, it should be fine. Small amounts are unlikely to affect him, although with this higher dosage, I'd recommend not taking it right before nursing. Wait about an hour or so, just to be on the safe side.
Esme: Okay.
Kinder: How is Ace doing by the way?
Esme: He's been a bit crankier than usual, which does nothing for my headaches. I think he's teething.
Kinder: Does he have a teething ring?
Esme: I just got him one! Thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot to put it in my bag.
Kinder: Of course. It's good to be prepared. Anyway, I'll call in that prescription as soon as we hang up. It's good to hear from you Esme. You take care now. Have a safe trip.
Esme: Thanks.
*He hangs up. Ace is still asleep. Esme's mind begins to wander*
FLASHBACK:
Young Esme is sitting at the dinner table with her adoptive family. Despite her hatred towards them, she did enjoy their food. Mrs. Prince carried over a dish of mashed potatoes to the dining room, and Esme reached over to take some.
Mrs. Prince: Ah, ah, ah! Just what do you think you're doing?
Young Esme: Taking some potatoes!
Mrs. Prince: You know the rule. Not until we say grace.
*Esme rolls her eyes and clasps her hands together*
Esme: Grace.
*She reaches over to take some potatoes*
Mrs. Prince: Esme, you know that's not how you say grace.
*Esme rolls her eyes again and clasps her hands together.*
Esme (unenthusiastically): Rub a dub dub, thank God for the grub.
*She again reaches to take some potatoes*
Mr. Prince: Esme Prince, you are being very disrespectful! Maybe you need a reminder on how to properly say grace?
Mrs. Prince: That sounds like a good idea.
Mr. Prince: Let us all join hands.
*Esme holds out her hands and feels her brother's sweaty hand grasp hers*
Mr. Prince: The eyes of all wait upon Thee, O Lord, and Thou givest them their meat in due season; Thou openest Thine hand and satisfied the desire of every living thing. Our Father... Lord God, Heavenly Father, bless us and these Thy gifts which we receive from Thy bountiful goodness, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
All: Amen.
*Esme again reaches out to take some potatoes, but Mrs. Prince slaps Esme's hand and moves the dish out of her reach before she can take any*
Mrs. Prince: Not so fast!
Esme: But I'm hungry!
Mr. Prince: Well, maybe you should be a little more grateful for what we do for you!
Esme: What do you mean?
Mrs. Prince: From what Mrs. Hamilton told me when I picked you up from ballet class, you complained about having to learn the dance and even refused to put your dress on, and instead said that you hated us for having you do ballet!
Esme: YES! I hate ballet, and I hate you for signing me up for more lessons after promising me that you wouldn't!
Mr. Prince: Yes, I know that's what we said, but your doctor says otherwise.
Esme: What do you mean?
Mrs. Prince: At your physical, she said your coordination hasn't improved at all from how it was last year. You're still quite clumsy. Therefore, you need physical therapy. And if you don't want to do ballet, you'll have to do other types of therapy that will make you wish you were still doing ballet!
Esme: I can't help it Mrs. Prince! It's just who I am!
Mr. Prince: Yes you can help it! You're a child. You're growing, and you need to grow correctly, otherwise you won't be able to get by in the world.
Esme: I WILL be able to get by in the world, Mr. Prince! I wish you would trust me!
Mrs. Prince: Trust must be earned, Esme! And the way to earn it is to do what you're told!
Mr. Prince: When you're an adult, you'll be able to make your own decisions, but you've still got ten more years to go until you're eighteen! Until then, we have the final say in what you get to do, and what you don't get to do!
Mrs. Prince: And one thing you don't get to do tonight is eat any of this food, since you've been nothing but disobedient and disrespectful! Now, since you have homework to do, you can have the leftover salmon that's in the fridge! I'll have Maggie heat it up for you.
Esme: But I hate salmon! I hate all fish! It stinks!
Mrs. Prince: But fish oil is good for your brain, and you need your brain in order to do your homework!
Mr. Prince: And you need to do your homework, or else you'll fail school, just like you've failed us as our daughter!
Esme: Since when have you seen me as your daughter? You won't even allow me to refer to you as "Daddy," or even "Father!" No. It's just Mr. and Mrs. Prince! You didn't even want me to have Prince as my last name! You've never seen me as your daughter!
Mr. Prince: ENOUGH! *He pounds his fist on the table* It's true, that we're not your parents, but we nonetheless have raised you, because your parents weren't able to do so. And let me tell you, you've been nothing but a burden!
Mrs. Prince: That's right. Eight years we've raised you! We've sacrificed so much to give you and your brothers and sisters the best life possible!
*Esme looks at the empty plate in front of her, and then around the room, the walls of which are lined with ornate glass cabinets filled with fine china and other fancy dinnerware, then back to her plate*
Esme: You haven't sacrificed anything! If I broke this plate, you could easily buy another one. In fact…
*She throws her plate onto the floor; the plate shatters and leaves a noticeable dent in the finish of the wood floor*
Esme: There!
Mrs. Prince: You're still going to pay for that!
Esme: How? I don't have any money! You could take it out of my allowance, but you don't give me an allowance, unlike all the other kids at school! And even if you did give me an allowance, you'd still be able to pay for it! In fact, if I were to break everything in this cabinet…
Young Esme got up from the table and tried to run to one of the cabinets, but what happened afterwards she can't recall. All she hears is the sound of a child crying…
PRESENT DAY
Esme realized that it was Ace who's crying, meaning it was time for his feeding. Luckily her headache was gone. After feeding Ace, she made her way down the stairs to Kelly's, with Ace in a carrier and a suitcase in hand. It was the middle of breakfast, and the diner was of course occupied by the usual morning crowd. She hoped she could slip out without Carly noticing her, but alas, that wasn't the case. Carly was nice enough to her but, just like with Trina, Esme knew that most likely Carly merely tolerated her for Ace's sake.
Carly: Hi Esme.
Esme: Oh, hi Ms. Spencer.
Carly: I've hardly seen you around lately. Same with Ace.
Esme: Yeah, I've been spending most of my free time volunteering at the daycare center at the place where my support group meets. They've really been so helpful to me, so it's only fair that I return the favor.
Carly: That's nice of you.
Esme: Thanks. It's nice to know that I'm making a difference. I'm not sure if I'll ever remember why I did all those horrible things, but by volunteering, I'm giving back to the people who have helped me turn my life around.
Carly: Well I'm sure they're very grateful.
Esme: How are you doing?
Carly: Well, my mom just passed away, so these last few days have been pretty hard for all of us.
Esme: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!
Carly: Thank you. You know she used to own this place, and in fact she sold it to me not all that long ago.
Esme: I'm really grateful for you letting me stay here, despite everything I've done.
Carly: No problem.
*She notices Esme's suitcase*
Carly: Going somewhere?
*Esme gets the feeling that Carly is interrogating her, but decides to ignore it, as she's used to people being suspicious of her.*
Esme: Yeah. Just a weekend getaway with a friend.
Carly: Oh. Would you like something to eat before you leave?
Esme: No thanks.
*Carly notices that Esme looks rather pale, and she has circles under her eyes*
Carly: Are you sure? You look like you could use a little nourishment for your trip.
Esme: No thanks. She should be here any minute. We'll stop for food later.
*Leora walks in*
Esme: And speak of the devil!
Leora: Hi Esme! Hi Ace! Sorry I'm a little late.
Esme: Nope, you're right on time. Ms. Spencer, this is my friend, Leann Harris. She volunteers with me at the daycare.
Carly: Oh wow, I, uh, didn't know you two knew each other.
Esme: Huh?
Leora (to Esme): Hehe! You remember Willow Tait, right, and her son Wiley? Oh wait, I think you were in the restroom when they came by our table when we were in Rice Plaza.
Esme: Oh, was Wiley the little boy Henry was playing with? Yeah I just missed them. It seemed like Henry really enjoyed playing with Wiley.
Leora: Wiley feels the same. Anyways, I had offered to babysit for Willow, and the other day she had to take her daughter Amelia to the hospital, so she called me and asked if I could take Wiley to the park and then to Kelly's so he could see his Grandma Carly.
Esme: Oh nice!
Leora: It seems like maybe we should arrange a playdate with Wiley and Henry soon. If that's okay with you, Ms. Spencer.
Carly: Well you'll have to talk to Willow about it.
Leora: How's Amelia doing?
Carly: Willow says she's doing much better.
Leora: That's good. I was a little worried. Anyways, we should probably head out. Why don't I put this stuff in the car while you get the rest of Ace's stuff.
Esme: Thanks.
*Esme hands the suitcase to Leora and goes upstairs to get Ace's stuff, then comes back down and hands it to Leora. Leora goes to put everything in her car, then comes back to the restaurant*
Carly: Are you sure you two don't want anything to eat before you leave?
Leora: That sounds like it might be a good idea. That way we won't have to stop for food on the way there.
Esme: Um, okay. That's fine.
Leora: Are you okay Esme?
Esme: Well I actually had what I think was an ocular migraine this morning, but I took a pill and felt better after a little while. I'm completely out of pills though, but Dr. Kinder told me he'd call in a new prescription. He said they'd be ready by 10, so we'll have to stop at the pharmacy first.
Leora: That's fine with me!
Esme: I just don't want Ms. Spencer to go to the trouble of making a big meal in case I get another migraine and start feeling nauseous but don't have any more pills.
Carly: Why don't I make something for the both of you, and if you can't eat it then you can always box it up and take it with you. Did you bring a cooler?
Leora: Yes we did.
Esme: Okay, let's do that.
Carly: Okay then. Why don't you two grab a table and I'll bring your food to you. What would you like, bacon? Eggs? Pancakes?
Leora: Pancakes please.
Carly: How about you Esme?
*Esme suddenly has a memory from when she was being held prisoner at Wyndemere. She can see, hear, and smell everything as if she was still there.*
*Nikolas unlocks the door to the tower and brings in a platter of bacon and eggs and a glass of milk*
Esme: Oh! So, you've decided to feed me and your unborn child? How thoughtful of you!
Nikolas: Honestly, I could care less whether you live or die. But, I do care about that child that you're carrying. So when I come back, I expect you to be a member of the Clean Plate Club!
Carly: Esme?
Esme: Uh, yeah, pancakes sounds good.
Carly: Alright. Anything to drink? Coffee? Milk? Orange juice?
Esme (memory): Going forward, you should know I hate milk!
Nikolas: I don't care, the baby needs calcium.
Leora: Coffee please.
Carly: How about you Esme?
*She notices Esme's gaze seems unfocused*
Esme (memory): And what about what I need? And what you need?
*She moves closer to Nikolas and looks into his eyes*
Esme (memory): Speaking of babies, remember how we made this one?
Carly: Esme, you there?
Esme: I, um, probably shouldn't have coffee, so I'll have an orange juice.
Carly: Okay then!
*Carly brings out a highchair for Ace and gets them set up at an empty table*
Carly: I'll be back in a little bit with your food.
*Carly heads back to the kitchen while Esme and Leora sit down*
Esme: So how did things go with babysitting Wiley?
Leora: Oh we had a great time! As I mentioned, after we were done at the park, I took him here to see his grandmother. I had no idea that you knew her.
Esme: Yeah, and I'm pretty sure she hates my guts and is only being so hospitable because she cares about Ace. And actually, before you arrived, she seemed to really not want to talk to me, and was probably wishing I'd leave already, although she did offer me breakfast.
Leora: I know her mom just passed away, so that's probably why.
Esme: Yeah, she told me. But I feel like even if that weren't the case, she'd probably be like 'I'm only offering you breakfast because you have a baby you need to take care of!'
Leora: Oh come on! She'd never do that!
Esme: Well, I don't know. I have no idea what made me do what I did to Joss and Cam, but if she wanted to let me starve to death, I wouldn't blame her.
*Carly comes back with their food*
Carly: Here you are.
*She places their food in front of them*
Esme: Thank you Ms. Spencer.
Leora: Thank you Carly!
*As Carly walks back to the kitchen, Esme finds her appetite coming back. She grabs the container of maple syrup and pours a liberal amount onto her pancakes*
Leora: Whoa! That's a lot of syrup.
Esme: Oh, I'm sorry, I-
Leora: Oh no, it's fine. I like the blueberry syrup anyways. I'm just surprised you're putting so much on! It's a lot of sugar.
*Leora takes the container of blueberry syrup and pours a considerably lighter amount onto her own pancakes*
Esme: If there's one thing I DO remember from being held prisoner at Wyndemere, it's living off of food that, while it wasn't as bad as what they serve at the hospital, wasn't much better. It was so bland and I had nothing to flavor it with. And I remember being forced to drink nothing but milk. I HATE milk!
Leora: That explains why you wanted orange juice.
Esme: Yeah. Though I still nurse Ace. Maybe since he's being raised by his birth mother, he won't hate milk. Anyways, it sounds like you had a good time babysitting.
Leora: Oh yeah, it was a lot of fun. Although I did have a weird encounter while I was watching Wiley play in the sandbox.
Esme: Oh my god, what happened?
Leora: Some girl came up to me and seemed like she was getting ready to attack me! But then when I turned and looked at her she told me she thought I was someone else. Her boyfriend then came up and apologized to me. He said she must've forgotten to take her meds, even though she insisted she wasn't on any meds.
Esme: Oh wow. Did she say who she thought you were?
Leora: No, because that's when her boyfriend showed up. But Esme, remember when you were telling me about Charlotte Cassadine?
Esme: Yeah?
Leora: I think that girl was her! She must've thought I was Anna Devane!
Esme: That's impossible! Why would she think you were her?
Leora: I don't know! Maybe she's, I don't know, schizophrenic or something.
Esme: Oh my god, remember how Anna was staring at us?
Leora: Oh yeah! And I thought she was staring at me!
Esme: And it really seemed like she had her eyes fixated on you, as she didn't notice me when I walked past her! I know I took the kids while you packed everything up. Was she still there?
Leora: Yes…yes she was there!
Esme: Did you ever see her leave?
Leora: Come to think of it, I didn't! Though I was busy packing everything up, so if she did leave I didn't notice.
Esme: There's something really weird going on. Kind of scary actually!
Leora: It is. I guess it's a good thing we're going to be out of town.
Esme: Definitely.
Leora: To be honest, I actually don't get out very much, except to run errands for Jan. I typically just stay in my apartment. Jan is so nice to let me live there rent free while I figure out what I want to do as far as a career goes.
Esme: Have you thought about it that much? What you want to do?
Leora: I'm torn between working with kids as a career, or becoming a nurse. Even though I hated growing up in that clinic, I really was grateful for the nursing staff. I can see how hard they work, and how frustrated they are being overworked and underpaid.
Esme: Why did you grow up in that clinic?
Leora: See this?
*She indicates a scar going down the center of her chest, visible through her V-neck*
Leora: I was born with a heart defect, and had to have multiple surgeries when I was a baby, and an additional surgery when I was around 10.
Esme: Oh wow, I didn't know that!
Leora: Yeah. I've been told I'm lucky to be alive as it looked like I wasn't going to make it through the surgery I had when I was a baby to have a pacemaker put in. They told me that one doctor barged into the operating room while they were doing the surgery and was insisting that they weren't doing it correctly, and they had to force him out of the room because he was distracting them. Or something like that.
Esme: Oh my god! Where were your parents during all of this?
Leora: Apparently nowhere.
Esme: What?
Leora: I've been told very little about them, other than when they found out I had all these heart problems, they didn't want me. So they left me at the hospital after I was born.
Esme: That's awful!
Leora: I know. And that's why, after the surgery was over, I was transferred from the hospital where I was born to the clinic, for long-term care. My prognosis was very poor, and nobody wanted to adopt me, so I remained at the clinic. I wasn't allowed to play with the other kids because I was so weak. They tried to find a family who could adopt me, but there wasn't anybody who was willing to take on the responsibility of caring for a child who most likely was not going to make it to age 10. And it was around that age when I needed to have another surgery.
Amazingly I pulled through, and it was after this surgery that my health really began to improve. Which was a good thing as not long afterwards, the clinic was shut down. I think I told you before that the director of the clinic, whom I had never met, performed medical procedures on patients without their consent. Despite this, he was known for saving many people's lives when they otherwise would've died. He actually was arrested multiple times, only for him to then be released when doctors needed his help. The reason why the clinic was shut down was actually because he shot somebody, and he ended up going to prison for five years. The clinic was closed, and I was sent to a boarding school in Pennsylvania for orphaned children, which, while not ideal, was much better than the clinic. I managed to graduate high school, but just barely. I struggled for a long time to find a job and was homeless. But then I met Jan and began volunteering at the day care. Knowing that I was making a difference in those kids' lives made me feel much better about my own situation.
Esme: Oh my god! I had no idea it was that bad. I'm glad that you were able to use your own experience to help other children in similar situations. They seem to love you!
Leora: And I love them. And I know Jan really appreciates me helping her, as she offered me a place to stay rent free while I figure out what I want to do, and even though I'm not a parent and my situation is very different from everyone else's, she offered to make me a trusted member, and even agreed to sponsor me herself, which she normally doesn't do and…oh, I'm sorry.
Esme: For what?
Leora: I probably shouldn't have shared that last thing about Jan sponsoring me, as I know you've been having a hard time finding someone to sponsor you. I feel terrible about not being able to sponsor you. I really want to.
Esme: It's fine, don't worry about it. Like I said, I do appreciate you being my friend. The only people who genuinely seem to like me, and appreciate me for the person who I am now are you and Jan, and I appreciate both of you.
Leora: Thank you. I feel the same way about you.
*They finish up the rest of their food*
Esme: *checks her watch* Shall we get going? I'm feeling a lot better, but I still would like to go get the prescription before we leave for Pine Valley, just in case.
Leora: Sounds good.
*They pay for their food, Esme picks up Ace from the highchair and the three of them make their way to Leora's car, just missing Anna, who briefly looks in their direction before entering the restaurant.*