Under the Ice – 1998

Gritting his teeth, Jack tried to remember the last time his body had hurt this much. With a painful sigh, he turned toward Sam in an effort to distract himself and studied her face: she had a cut on her cheek that he hadn't noticed before; guilt immediately washed over him.

"Captain," he began, unable to hide the concern in his voice.

Sam, who was busy checking the contents of their backpacks, immediately looked up. "Yes, sir?" she responded in a professional tone that broke Jack's heart more than the pain in his leg ever could. Jacob's words echoed in his mind, but he still hadn't found the courage or the time to talk to Sam.

He remained silent for a moment, assessing the situation. They weren't going to die today, and he would have plenty of time to fix things later. "We need to do something about my leg," he finally said, far from the words he had originally intended to speak.

Nodding, Sam pulled the medical kit from the backpack. "Besides immobilizing it, there's not much I'll be able to do," she offered in response.

"That's better than nothing. Let's do it," Jack decided, not giving her any more time. Each problem in its own time, and the first was to address his leg.

Sam used a flashlight to see better and immediately got to work. Jack couldn't stifle his cries of pain as she moved his leg to realign it as best she could.

Sam clenched her jaw at the situation and tried to be as efficient as possible in her movements. "Okay, I think it's set," she eventually said.

Jack let out a nervous laugh. "You think it's set?!"

"I'm positive," Sam corrected herself. "All that's left is to put a splint on it, and you'll be as good as new."

Jack let his head drop back to the ground, exhaling in pain. "Just take it easy, Doctor."

Sam looked up and studied his expression. "Wrong kind of doctor, I'm afraid."

Jack ran a hand over his face. "You wouldn't think a jagged bone digging into raw nerves would hurt, but it does."

"Sorry, sir, but I've never done this before in my life," Sam replied. "Is this your first broken bone?" she asked, hoping to distract him. She also realized that despite their history, she still didn't know much about him.

"Well, hm, no," Jack stammered. "This would be..." he thought for a moment, "nine, if you count skull fractures." He coughed lightly, releasing another groan of pain.

"How did you manage that?" Sam asked.

"A little parachuting mishap," Jack replied. "Over the borders of Iran and Iraq back in… '80..." He stopped with another groan of pain, leaving the date unfinished.

Sam continued working on his leg and paused. "Okay, this is gonna hurt, sir," she warned. "So, what happened?" she asked, trying to keep him distracted.

"I hit the ground," Jack sighed through another breath of pain. "Go figure." Sam continued despite his cries of pain. "My chute opened a little late," he paused again, placing a hand on his head in pain. "And it hurt just like that."

"Colonel, I'm doing the best I can," Sam said, regretful.

Jack gritted his teeth. "I know you are, Captain. Can you just be done?" He guessed that Sam needed the military distance between them at this moment.

Sam took a deep breath. "So you hit the ground and?" she pressed, continuing her movements.

"And they all lived happily ever after!" Jack groaned.

Sam clenched her teeth. "Almost there."

"No! You're there,CAPTAIN! That's a great splint. Stop!" Jack shouted.

Sam continued without listening to his order. "So, how long before you were rescued?" she asked.

"No rescue," Jack sighed. "It wasn't exactly an official mission… if you know what I mean," he lowered his voice. "So... I had to make it out on my own." He paused. "Nine days..."

"Wow," Sam replied. "What got you through it?"

Jack remained silent for a moment, recalling that time in his life. "Sara," he whispered, his gaze drifting off.

Sam froze in her movements immediately, it made sense that the thought of a woman waiting for him at home had given him the strength to pull through and return despite the odds. The image of Diane's perfect face suddenly invaded her mind so powerfully that she could only remain silent for a moment. Was he thinking about the woman waiting for him right now? Were they planning a wedding that would be delayed by their current situation?
She couldn't help but think of Sara, too. Jack had still been married when they started seeing each other; she knew that and had acted accordingly at the time. No feelings were involved back then, but that didn't absolve her of what she had done. Things were different now.

"You tallied our supplies yet?" Jack asked, snapping her back to reality.

"Yes, sir," she responded in a weary voice, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. "Supplies for three days, but we can stretch that." She turned and rummaged in the bag. "We've got a little drinking water, but..."

"Ice melts," Jack offered. He had reached the point where the pain had become part of him, affecting his speech.

"Yeah, and we've got our field cooking gear to melt it," Sam agreed. "Flashlight batteries are gonna be a problem," she added, suddenly detached from the conversation. "We've got thermal blankets."

Jack looked down at her. "That's good." He studied her face again and felt like he was seeing the Sam from Abydos, the one with nothing to lose. "By the way, Captain," he murmured her rank in a softer tone, "we are gonna get out of here," he whispered. "That's an order."

Once again, the image of Diane slipped into Sam's mind, and she bit her lower lip. Of course, he wanted to get out of here to be with her. He probably hadn't planned on dying under the ice with his fling, a fling to whom he had never promised anything. Those three little words stolen from the military alphabet that he had whispered to her in Ireland were probably just another way to guarantee access to her body. She had seen him do it many times; Jack O'Neill was a ladies' man. It was foolish to think he would ever be a one-woman man. Let alone hers.

Looking away, Sam also changed the subject. "How's the splint feel?"

"Carter?" Jack asked, his voice more serious.

Closing her eyes, she bit her lip again until she tasted the metallic tang of blood and remained silent.

"You have to believe me," Jack whispered, as she raised her eyes to meet his.

Sighing, Sam chose to once again put military distance between them, seeking to protect herself by any means necessary. "I want to, sir," she lowered her head again. "I just don't see how."

Jack's heart tightened a little more. "Then we'd better start looking for a way..." he finally offered. "Because I'll be damned if I'm gonna die on some godforsaken block of ice a million light-years from home. Is that clear?"

Swallowing her tears, Sam nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good." Jack inhaled slowly. "Now help me up."

Sam frowned. "I don't think you should move."

"Probably not," Jack replied. "But my butt's freezing to the ground. Come on."

Grabbing his hands, Sam helped him to his feet, letting him lean on her. The scent of his aftershave suddenly filled her nostrils, and once again, she had to fight back the tears that threatened to fall. Jack gently touched her shoulder and looked around them.

"Yeah," he smiled. "A little paint, a couple windows, maybe a fireplace in the corner... it'll be just like home."

Sam remained silent, unable to join him in his humor. The image of a home with Diane, where their children played in the yard, suddenly burned into her mind.