Disclaimer: I don't own Worm or Warhammer 40K, they belong to their respective creators and/or copyright owners. I don't make any money from this story. It is written with no commercial aim in mind. It is not for sale or rent.

Emerald Dawn

Prologue: Digital Dreams

=ED=

Part 1: Annette

"Taylor. Eighteen." I smiled and took a sip of my bitter tea, reveling that I could taste it.

"Eighteen? I would have been in college."

"Yes. She was." I paused. It felt strange. To be here, on an Earth more or less untouched by war. To be speaking with my mother. Who really wasn't. "She met a guy in college. A magnificent dorky guy with an awful lot of passion." I smiled sadly. "He worshiped her… I think that he gave her permission to be who she wanted. To do what she wanted in that point of her life, while her parents were controlling. Her mother never forgave them for setting mom away from the track that she had planned for her life by getting mum pregnant with me."

I looked away. After everything that happened… There was a small part of me that wondered if would have been better if I haven't been born. Then perhaps he would have found someone else to fixate on. Perhaps he would have tried to save someone else… I might have died in the locker.

It might have been for the best.

"And my dad?" Not Mum asked.

"Gramp liked him. Eventually. I think." I shrugged helplessly. Some of my memories from before were gone, lost in the transformation. "At any rate, it wasn't enough to admit it to Gram."

"Oh. My mother refused to let the children call her Gram."

"I think it was as a some kind of subtle payback." Then again, it might be my nature that made me think so.

"What did she end doing?"

"Teaching. English in the university." At least I remembered that and it wasn't something that I had to check after my transformation as I tried to piece together who had I become.

Not Mum glanced at the books. "I can't really see myself doing that, I'm afraid."

I simply nodded. No matter how alike she appeared to the mother I remembered… Mum had died a long time ago.

"Your father?" She asked and I winced.

"Dead." My voice sounded empty. Despite what I was, despite all the power and resources at my fingertips, dad died.

I looked everywhere, but Not Mum. The table, with the white tastefully embodied cover. The tea cups and snacks. At the people around us, who couldn't hear our conversation even if they tried. I swallowed and continued speaking, driven by the same need that brought me to this dimension, to this Earth. I just had to speak with someone, who wouldn't simply be supportive because of what I was.

"The worst is, that we weren't on speaking terms before the end. He couldn't accept what I was becoming, what we had to do." My shoulders trembled as I shook.

"I'm sorry. Saying it… I know it means nothing in face of what you've lost."

I laughed bitterly. I felt the brush of metal fingers on my shoulders and relaxed.

"It's fine. Thank you for your concern." I whispered and leaned back, calming down, because of the contact with my phased out guardian.

We simply sat in silence, sipping our tea. A part of me wondered what was I doing here? Yet, I felt I needed it. Perhaps it was a search of completion, a way to close a chapter of my life. Or, perhaps a tiny part of the innocent little girl I was once somehow survived and wanted to see her mother.

Even if this was Not Mum.

She was studying me too, a small sad smile marring her face.

"I don't know what you expect me to say, what you want from this meeting. I feel as I need to say something that has a meaning to you. So that you didn't waste your time finding a woman without anything to say..." Not Mum trailed off.

"NO! It's not that!" I exclaimed. "It's just..." I struggled to find words. Considering what I was, my current predicament should have been hilarious. "I just needed to see you. To refresh my memories of mum before can open a new page and try finding peace. I don't expect some profound revelation…" I paused again as my mind began a vortex of ideas and emotions. "I need to speak with someone who might not judge me. To try explaining what and why happened."

"Would you like to try?" Not Mum asked. There was a curiosity in her voice. No judgment. Yet.

"I don't know. It's a long story. Not a nice one." My shoulder's slumped.

Necrodermis clad fingers gently squeezed me in a silent support.

"I'm a good listener. And you look like someone who needs to tell their story."

"It's really not a nice story." I repeated, in a last, futile attempt to dissuade Not Mum from listening.

"I'll keep it in mind." She gave me a gentle, reassuring smile. Her blue eyes stared at me, expecting an answer.

Just as mum used to. And just like all those years ago I caved and started talking.

"It all started that day… January, the first day of school. It was my personal hell, before I truly understood what that means..."

"Does this have to do with your powers? How you got them?"

A bitter chuckle escaped my lips.

"Shit, I can. You are just a stranger..." I stammered. "This isn't your burden to carry." I shook my head and stood up. "Besides, you have a work to go back to. A life of your own."

"Taylor!" She voiced her exasperation. Not Mum was on her feet too. Her gentle fingers were holding my hands. She gave me a reassuring smile and guided me back into my seat.

"Taylor." Not Mum gave me that look. The one that made me feel like a little girl caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

"I think I'll find the time to listen. Perhaps, you might find the time to tell you story and eventually find the peace you talked about."

I almost laughed at that. Time. That was the one thing I had more that I knew what to do with. Spending eternity alone with my minions, that was terrifying.

"Even here we heard a little about what happened on Earth Bet. How bad it was before the end. I don't know how much was on your shoulders nor of the burden you carried. However I will be the last one to judge you for decision made under such stress."

"Won't you? I became a monster, Annette." I looked Not Mum in the eyes. "It was for reasons I believed to be 'right', but does that matter? I am a monster." I muttered.

It was my nature after all.

"I find it hard to believe. I don't see a monster in the young woman across the table." Not Mum challenged me. Well, she couldn't see the real me, just the form I had taken to meet her.

She didn't know what I was. What I did or ordered done.

Her answer didn't make me feel better.

"You don't understand..."

"This is why you came, isn't it? To find another opinion." Not Mum's voice was soft, gentle.

I gulped. She hit the nail on the head. This was it. The reason why we were here, talking.

"I know you aren't her. Yet..." I was lost for words.

"You need me to listen. To tell you if you were right or wrong about what happened, about what you did." Not Mum paused. "You know that I'm not her. I probably won't give you the same feedback." Her voice was calming, still gentle and accepting.

I dreaded that it would be anything but if I told her everything. That she would see me for the monster I was. Yet, it was what I needed.

"I think I simply need the truth. From someone who didn't live through that hell and could think clearly. See me for who I am without a bias."

"Are you seeking forgiveness?"

"No. That's not something I'm going to get from anyone who isn't biased." I smiled faintly. "There are a handful of people that approve of what I did, though that's kinda expected."

I could feel the exasperation radiating from my invisible guardian. There was scarcely something I could do now that wouldn't meet his approval.

"How did it started?"

"When I was in the locker. Dying." I shuddered until the necrodermis fingers on my shoulders started massaging me. "I should have triggered then. I think I started to. Then everything went straight to hell..."