CHAPTER FOUR
Stand your ground
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I eventually fall back to sleep, now even more exhausted than before. Originally, I wanted to sleep until 3AM and then go back and help Davis with the intel, but now I'm not so sure about that. My alarm buzzes and I turn it off, pensive, and I look at my phone and see that I got a million texts. I put my phone on mute when Hayes left my room, keeping only the alarm on, and apparently Blackburn called me a couple of times, then Davis also called me a couple of times. Then I got texts from Blackburn and Davis. I hesitate if I want to read them, but maybe there's something urgent there too. Even though I know that if it really was urgent, someone would have knocked on my door by now.
I decide to first take a shower, because my fever came down while I was sleeping, and I sweat a little. I still feel a bit feverish but the pain meds I took for my throat worked. The pain is a lot more manageable.
I put my hair up in a bun and then get into the shower, and I do everything slowly. I don't feel the stress and the rush anymore. My entire life I've been stressing about other people's problems, cases and how to help them, and so far life hasn't really given me much in return. Professionally, I'm being disrespected by colleagues; personally, I'm single with no kids; and mentally, I've been having trouble deciding if I'm really fulfilling my mission in life, or just wasting it. I'm apathetic.
After a lot of hard work, I finally received an offer for a great job, actually I could opt between two jobs: work in DEVGRU or be promoted to a JAG prosecutor. I wanted to serve the country in new ways, so I chose to work with special teams and got into the Officer course. But many people thought that it wasn't because of my own merit that I got the job. And they weren't too discreet about what they thought. For them, it was a sudden offer.
But for me, it cost me more than a year gathering evidence for a case, that dismantled an entire gang inside the Navy. A criminal organization. And only the gang's victims and their families, and Captain Lindell or higher in the hierarchy chain, knew about that. It was too shameful for the Navy if someone else found out about it, too. Even the jury was a complete secrecy. But I, who was leading the team, got my work recognized, as well as the people that worked in my team. Yet, we all had the same issue: almost nobody else, other than ourselves, knew about our accomplishment.
I know that that's one of the reasons why Blackburn always tries to help me out; he feels guilty about what people say about me, and when they question my professional background. Because the reason why I can't tell how I got the offer to work in DEVGRU is classified, yes, but also confidential. The difference between one and the other, in this case, is because if I tell someone what happened, I would be harming the intimacy and life of another person. A young woman. A young woman close to Blackburn. His family. And I could never do that.
I get out of the shower and brush my teeth, dry my body and put on some clothes, just the normal Navy uniform: camouflage pants, boots, gray t-shirt and puffy green olive jacket. Not in the mood for anything else. I grab my phone, sit on my bed, and only now I read the texts. Blackburn is curious why I suddenly want to tell Hayes about what's in my file, and desperate asking me why would I want to leave Bravo. Lisa first asked me if I was doing better, then the next texts were all of her asking me what the hell happened that I'd want to leave the team, and 'abandon' her out of nowhere. She even asks if it's something that she's done and how can she fix it. The last text was also Blackburn's, saying that he wouldn't look for another team until I told him what happened.
I get up from the bed and Blackburn sends me another text, but I read the notification and don't open it. Because I'm heading to the Command Center to talk to him in person about it. Now that some hours have passed since the fight, I'm hesitating about changing teams, because I really like working with Lisa and Blackburn and I got along great with the guys, but I honestly don't know how I could work with Hayes again. Someone obviously lied to him, but I don't care. He was wrong, and I was right. And I'm almost sure that he'd be too proud to even apologize to me.
Unfortunately, I'd have to pass through the fire pit area to get to the Command Center, and there's a good possibility that Hayes would be there, he's always there and the men's barracks is close to that area. I approach the area almost glued to the wall, and take a peek when turning the corner, and I instantly freeze. Hayes isn't around the bigger fire pit, but someone else is. And not just one person, but seven of them. The entire Foxtrot Team is there, sitting around the fire pit, talking to the Bravo guys and laughing their asses off.
I feel a mixture of anger and fear, and I hesitate, because I don't know why they're here, and since when. But now I feel the urge of walking to Blackburn and yelling at him. He should know that Foxtrot was coming, and even though I couldn't prevent them from coming to J-Bad, at least I could have prepared myself.
Foxtrot and Bravo guys all suddenly look to the other side, because Trent, drunk, is making an impression, so it's the right time for me to almost run around the corner, to get into the Command Center. I walk fast looking back at that group, and suddenly I see Hayes, sitting alone, with Cerberus, next to the other fire pit, pensive, holding a stick and moving the ashes. He looks up and notices me walking fast and glued to the wall. Our eyes meet, and he doesn't look angry anymore, just serious and looks confused. He frowns, then looks at Foxtrot, then back at me, but I continue to walk fast to get inside the Command Center, and I open the door aggressively.
"What the hell, Blackburn", I tell him as soon as he sees me. He turned when he heard the door violently opening.
"You didn't see my text" he says, it's not a question. He walks until he's close to me. "Nobody warned me. I was in my cabin and didn't see them until I went outside to come back here and decided to talk to the Bravo guys real quick" he says, and since his cabin is to the other side, he truly couldn't have seen them before. But I'm still suspicious. He notices that. "They arrived this afternoon, and nobody told me because apparently they're only staying to aid the CIA on another top secret op, at the borders".
I breathe in, to calm myself. "How long are they staying?"
Blackburn squirms. "I don't know, Victoria. Sorry". He answers, and I sigh. I don't have to avoid Foxtrot One, but I'd rather not see him, so it would be better if I knew for how long I'd have to do that.
"Now please tell me. Why the hell are you talking about leaving?" he pleaded.
I decide to tell him, after all, I did nothing wrong. Again.
"Probably Foxtrot One is still talking bullshit, because Hayes walked into my cabin last night and said some things. Awful things, Eric" I say, and try to not remember, and he looks exasperated. "So. I'd rather not work with an idiot like that anymore".
"No way, no, Victoria" he says, now annoyed, "You know very well that Jimmy has a way to make up the most elaborate lies. Obviously he told Jason that, and that's why he thought something bad of you" he explains, and I squirm, because he's not totally wrong. But still, Hayes should have talked to me or Eric in a normal and professional way.
"Nevertheless, he was unprofessional. And I don't know if I want to stay here. Besides, I imagine he hasn't even asked you for my file, has he?" I'm really hurt that he didn't want to find out the truth immediately. He's more stubborn and proud than I thought.
"That's because he's the most stubborn and proud son of a bitch that I've ever met, Victoria" Blackburn reads my thoughts, "And I promise you, he has a big heart. He just takes his work too seriously" he says, then he comes even closer. "Davis told me that when she was at the gathering, she heard Jessica talking to him, near the fire pit, about you. And something about the op that killed JD. I have a feeling that she said it was your fault or something like that. She was trying to kiss his ass, probably".
Now I'm livid. I can't believe that Jessica's obsession with Hayes would make her question my competence.
"That jealous idiot" I whisper, because there are CIA people there. And I know that unfortunately I don't have the power to take her out of Afghanistan just because I don't like her. I'd have to be fake as hell around her while we're deployed. I notice that I'm talking like as if I'd be staying in J-BAD.
"Look" he says, "just give me a few days. I know you'll come around. Or at least, give me time to find a nice team for you. There aren't many spots out there, you know that". His request is reasonable, so I nod, agreeing, and he's very relieved. But I can't help but to stir the pot.
"You know that Hayes thinks you and I are having an affair, right?"
Eric's face twitches and he's livid. Exactly the reaction I was expecting. "Would you excuse me for a second" he mutters, walking to the door.
But I call him before he leaves. "You can't show him my file unless he asks to. Seriously".
He nods, stern, and aggressively opens the door, aggressively walks out and shuts the door behind him. I wait for three minutes before I walk out of the Command Center to go to the smaller room where Davis is working. Because I want to look into Hayes' eyes when Blackburn is talking to him.
I open the door and try hard to avoid a smirk, but I can't. I see Blackburn gesticulating a lot and whispering aggressively to a very confused and apologizing Jason Hayes, both of them standing up next to the fire pit. In the middle of it, Hayes notices me, still confused, and he frowns again. And I still have the smirk on my face, but quickly I turn that into an angry expression. Because I'm angry at him yet. So I turn and make my way to the room where Davis is, to help her. Even though I don't know if I'll stay, I still want to find and dismantle that terrorist cell. That's what I came here for. Not for some high school drama.
Although, I have to agree with Hayes. The Navy really is like high school, sometimes.
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I get into the room and Davis immediately hugs me and pleads me not to leave. I tell her what happened and she's just as livid as I am, especially because she knows about what Foxtrot One did and why I joined Bravo. I then forbid her to tell Hayes what happened, until he reads my file. She agrees, but asks me if she can yell at him, at least. I solemnly agree with that. I thought that she was going to do that later, but she instantly gets out of the room and comes back, like, fifteen minutes later, smirking. I really admire her loyalty.
After that, we both focus on the task ahead, again, and analyze the crappy interrogations we have so far, with the limited intel we got. And after another couple of hours, also talking to Blackburn, we reach a very disappointing conclusion: we don't have enough to figure out where the terrorists are gathering, or who they are. That sucks.
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CIA comes to our rescue, or at least that's what Fake Jess says, because they have an asset, an informant, that could help out. She cockily says that she has two informants, actually, well, not her, she has one but another CIA agent has the other, she corrects herself, but still. We wait until she contacts her first asset, and she takes a couple of hours to come back. And I'm glad I didn't yell at her first. Because I can yell at her now.
The fucking asset turned, actually, he is an 'undercover agent', and Jessica had no idea. Turns out, that asset had 'volunteered' to accompany JD and the others before the meeting. So what happened is that he told the terrorist cell where to find them. And kill them. Jessica's asset wasn't her asset. He is a terrorist.
Blackburn is so pissed that he gathers the entire team to explain what happened, especially because they were friends of JD. He demands that Jessica stays here with us too, after all, it was CIA's fault that JD is dead. Reiss Julian stays with us in the room to support Jessica. But he truly wishes he wasn't here, because he doesn't really like Jessica either.
I even chose a good spot in front of Hayes' chair, because I'm exploding with a vindictive happiness when the guys walk inside the room. Hayes still didn't ask for my file, but it was even better this way. I'm smirking victorious, and Davis is next to me, with a disapproval look. And Jessica is next to her, with wide blue eyes, silently pleading Jason for forgiveness for her incompetence, when he walks in and sits on his chair. He's still suspicious, but now I see that he avoids eye contact with me and Davis, completely, and he sighs when he notices Jessica's guilty look. He has an expression of doubt and a hint of regret. Best day ever.
Blackburn summarizes to the guys what happened and the guys try to disguise their indignation with Jessica, but they don't do it too well.
"What exactly happened, Jessica?" Ray asks, dangerously. He was a friend of JD too.
She explains, stuttering and with wide eyes, how she found the informant quite fast, and she thought that it was because of her great powers of persuasion and charm, and how he was a great guy with an eager to help the U.S., so he volunteered to be with JD's group. So, it was evident that she's a naive CIA agent, and too eager to show off results. Which means, she's not a good CIA agent. Hayes was quiet until then, but after her lousy explanation he finally says something.
"You said" he starts, with a neutral voice, looking at Jessica with a stern face, "That you were sure that the place of the gathering was a spot commonly used by the terrorists, and therefore they always had eyes there, and that someone" he pauses, but doesn't look at me, "forgot to verify that". The second he finishes his sentence, I turn to Jessica, livid, and so does Davis. And everyone, actually. Because everybody in that room knows that the only person collecting and verifying the intel for that gathering was me.
"What?" I yell at her, indignant, and she almost hunches down.
"No, look" she says, glancing at me and Hayes, "I said I was almost sure", she explains, with an apologizing fake smile. I hate her.
"No" Hayes says, now with a dangerous voice, "You said you were sure. I asked you twice, agent Brown".
She squirms, and she really should squirm a lot, because Hayes is furious. But I don't even need to hear the end of it. I truly thought about yelling at her and calling her dumb, incompetent, and many other things, but she knows that. Everybody does. It's pointless.
And since there's nothing more to be said there, and I'm not needed either, I just walk out the room and aggressively shut the door behind me.
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