CHAPTER FIVE
Retreat
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I'm back at my cabin, once again. It's still morning, and now all we have to do is wait until the CIA's second asset, the one the other agent has, can come up with some new information. And now would be a good time for me to leave J-Bad, because there's nothing urgent for me to do here now, except wait. It would be boring anyways.
Lisa calls me after I've been sitting on my bed, pensive, for like an hour. It's close to noon now, so I'm sure she's calling about lunch. And I'm hungry. I'm that type of person that can feel sad, happy, or almost dead, but I'll still be hungry.
"Vicky" Lisa says, with a 'gossip voice mode' on, she's kind of whispering, and I immediately pay attention. "I think you should come back here".
"Why? What's going on?"
She pauses, then continues. "Jessica started to cry and ask the guys, well, mostly Jason, for forgiveness, and he ignored her and asked her to leave the room, so he could talk to his team" she says, and I smile immediately, vindictive. I can hear her smile through the phone.
"Well, would you look at that. Is the spell finally broken?" I ask, sarcastically.
"We had sort of a reunion when she left. Where we discussed if we should keep her in the crew or not. Some of the guys wanted her out, some wanted to give another chance to her".
"And Hayes?"
Lisa pauses. "He didn't say anything. He just kept listening to everyone's opinions" she exhales.
"That moron. Maybe it's him who is under her spell", I state, and I feel a hint of jealousy, but I quickly shake it off. It's because I find it annoying how he could give that idiot the benefit of the doubt, and not do the same to me. But of course, he knows her for a longer time than me.
"I don't think so, Vicky. I think he feels guilty, responsible for her. Because of what I said" she says, and now I feel her smile again.
"What did you say?" I ask, unconsciously hunching down to listen.
"That she lied about you because she wanted to get his attention" she says, still smiling. But I feel that there's something else.
"Okey…" I say, even though the last gossip was already a great one. I can't believe he never noticed how obsessed she is with him.
"And because she was... envious of you" Lisa says, and I smile at the phone. I notice she pauses all of a sudden.
"What else?"
She hesitates again. "Nothing. That's it. But now there's another good part" she says, and I hunch down even more.
"Did he ask for my file?"
"No..." Lisa says, confused, and I feel sad again. Goddamn it, why can't that stubborn man just do as I say?
"I let it, hum, slip out to the guys, that Hayes yelled at you, blaming you for JD's death".
I grin, vindictive. I hear her naughty grin too. I love Lisa, my best friend ever. I sigh, and I hope Hayes reads my file, because I really want to continue to work with Bravo.
"Aaaand?" I ask, curious.
"Aaand there was mayhem" she giggles, "the guys yelled at Jason too, saying he was an idiot for trusting that dumb blonde instead of you, then he said that it's easy for them to say that now, because now they know the truth, and stuff like that, bla bla bla".
"Idiot. I love the guys".
"He said" Lisa continues, and sighs, "That there was another reason why he thought that what Jessica told him was true" she says, now stern.
My smile vanishes. Of course Hayes would tell them what Foxtrot One said about me. Son of a bitch.
"What did he tell them" I ask, apathetic, already knowing the answer.
"Nothing" Lisa says, exhaling.
"What do you mean?" I'm confused.
"Everyone pressed him to tell what was the reason, and he just looked at everyone serious, then muttered 'nothing, forget it', and then left".
I pout. That's lame. I wanted blood. But it was better than if he told them Jimmy's version of the story, whatever that was.
"At least he kept quiet, then" I say.
"True. Better this way. And then I wanted to see if you want to come here, I'm right outside the room. The guys are in there, you could talk to them. They'll definitely cheer you up" she says, joyful.
"You know what? I'm kinda hungry. Do you wanna grab lunch?" I was feeling a lot happier with what happened, so I was even hungrier than before. "I want a burger today" I declare.
"Hell yes. Ok, I'll meet you there then. Going now" she says, because the food truck area is really close to the room where she is. I instantly get up and make my way to meet her too.
I look suspiciously to my sides, just to make sure I don't walk into Foxtrot fucking One, but unfortunately, I do. He's right next to the taco stand, sitting at a table with some guys of his team. Lisa is already there, seated at the table next to his, because she doesn't know who he is. I sigh. He didn't see me yet, but I'm feeling angry about what happened lately, and very impatient, so I walk to Lisa, and the moment he saw me he squirms.
"Well, hello, Jimmy" I say, sarcastic. He looks at me with wide eyes, and his team mates are staring at both of us, stern. Lisa looks at him too, because she knows the name of Foxtrot One, she just didn't know how he looked like.
"Hello" he awkwardly answers, trying to disguise his discomfort, because I greeted him loudly, and people around us listened. It would be odd if he didn't say anything.
I thought about telling him that he has to stop lying, but he obviously knows that. He knew he'd meet me here, too, so what happened is that he thought I'd avoid him and keep quiet. But I didn't, I was sick of it.
"Do you know until when you'll stay here?" I ask him, with a fake smile. He hesitates.
"We don't know yet" suddenly someone says, on my other side. Someone that I know very well.
"Thomas. Hi" I say, instantly turning my fake smile to a real one. Thomas is Foxtrot Five, and he was the only one that refused to lie to protect Foxtrot One. He kept quiet to not lose his job, but he didn't make any statement regarding of what happened.
"Hi" he smiled back at me, with that cute smile, that totally matches his angelic face. I missed his blonde hair and stubble. I always had a crush on him, but for obvious reasons I never acted on that, and neither did he. It was fraternization, illegal. But I'm not in Foxtrot anymore… so now it's not illegal.
"We can leave" Lisa suddenly tells me, touching my arm, but I look back at her and shake my head.
"No. Let's eat. I'm starving" I say, then turn to Jimmy again, and he's just quietly looking at me. "Nice to see you again. Hope that your op doesn't take long, though. Anna must be needing you" I say, victorious.
That was a day of real victory, and I was truly smiling when I walked to the stand. I glanced back and Thomas was walking to me.
"We need to talk" Hayes suddenly appears in front of me, his chest blocking my view of Thomas. His chest is huge, and he's so close that I can see its contours under the green t-shirt. And the t-shirt is not even tight.
I frown. "No. We don't" I say, annoyed, and he comes even closer to me and hunches down to keep his face close to mine. I deviate his stare, because I feel something pulsate immediately. That's not good.
He looks into my eyes, and I can't deviate my look anymore. "Please" he huskily asks, impatient, not pleading. Obviously he never pleaded before in his life.
"Something wrong, Vicky?" Thomas appears next to me, and suddenly I'm smothered by two giants. Not giants, but it feels that way when I'm almost sandwiched between those two tall Seals. It does feel great though. It gave me ideas.
"And who are you again?" Hayes sarcastically asks Thomas, frowning and looking at him without moving an inch and still keeping his face close to mine.
Thomas squirms. "Thomas. We met yesterday" he tells Hayes, but he doesn't seem to remember.
"Sure" Hayes says, lying, then he ignores him completely and turns to me again. "I just want to talk real quick" he says, a little playful now. I don't like it. He should be begging me for forgiveness.
"Did you read my file?" I ask, now ignoring Thomas too, but it's impossible to ignore Hayes.
Hayes blinked. "Let's talk" he says, serious, and stands still. "Come on" he says, pointing with his head to the side, and starts to walk, looking at me, to follow him.
I stand there, hungry and with my crush by my side, yet, I don't know why, I follow Hayes. He's walking in the direction of the women's barracks. I manage to turn and talk to Thomas.
"We'll talk later" I say, smiling, and he looks confused, but instantly smiles back at me.
"Yeah. Ok. See ya" he says, and I nod and turn again. Hayes stopped walking to wait for me, and is staring at me with his arms crossed, impatient, like a wife waiting for the husband that comes late from 'work'.
"Old friend?" he asks, as soon as I reach him. He walks beside me, as if we never fought.
"He's Foxtrot Five" I simply answer, and Hayes pouts.
I unlock my cabin and open it, sighing. I have no idea how the hell is Hayes getting inside of my cabin again, in less than a day. But I'm too curious to see what he has to say, and if we're going to talk about something classified, it's best if we talk somewhere private. And nothing's more private than my cabin.
I barely turn to him, standing in the middle of my room, and he starts to talk, stern. He seems anxious.
"I'm sorry I called you incompetent. I never really thought that about you. Before" he says, surprising me with his quick apology. He takes a couple of steps closer to me. "I know Agent Brown for longer than you, and I never thought she could lie about that to me. I mean, to harm you this way", he says. He sounds sincere and guilty. And reasonable.
"I understand. I mean, in a way. I'm also surprised about how she could elaborate all that lie to you. I thought she liked me" I frown, and I really did. I kind of liked her, usually. I felt hurt when she threw me under the bus like that.
"It's my fault, I guess" he says, looking uncomfortable. "I think she has a crush on me".
I chuckle, because he's really slow. "Yes. She does" I say, smiling, and he blushes. That's cute. I love a man that blushes. Dear God woman, get yourself together. I should be angry at him. I change my expression to serious.
"You called me a slut" I bluntly say, and his eyes open and he squirms.
"No I didn't" he says, awkward. "I said you had an affair with a married man" he corrects me. He's really stubborn.
"And with Blackburn" I correct him.
He nods, uncomfortable. "Yeah. Sorry about that, too" he says, looking down. Then he looks up again, and notices my stern face. My arms are crossed, and I did that on purpose, to show him how angry I am. He takes another couple of steps closer to me, and he looks very anxious now.
"Jimmy went to BUD/S with me, Victoria. Anna was one of my wife's best friends. She is the godmother of my oldest daughter. There's no way I could have doubted him" he states, exhaling, and I'm overwhelmed by the amount of information that Hayes blurted in twenty seconds. His family is really close to Jimmy's, he's married, with more than one kid. And the worst part, is that I understood him, and why he believed Jimmy. But still, he acted wrong.
"You were unprofessional, Hayes" I say, and he glances at me, then to the floor, because he knows I'm right. "At least, you should have asked for my file then, or talked to Blackburn". I sigh, because he keeps quiet. "What did Jimmy tell you?" I ask, because I'm truly curious.
Hayes sighs, then he takes two steps and sits on my bed, defeated. Right next to my pillow. I'm extremely uncomfortable about that, but he doesn't notice, he's looking down.
"He asked if it was true that you were working here, and then he said that I should look out for you" he tells me, and he stops.
"What else?" I ask, when he doesn't continue.
He remains hunched down, but quickly glances at me. He's probably ashamed or embarrassed about what Jimmy told him.
"Well, then he said all sorts of stuff. Like, hum, I shouldn't… fall for it. Like, believe you" he glances at me. "Because you... seduced him when you worked with him" he glances again, "then that you two, like, had an affair" he glances again, and now I'm impatient. He glances a lot. And he's obviously telling the soft version of what Jimmy said.
Hayes finally stops glancing and raises his head to talk to me, but he looks ashamed. That's good. He should be.
"I was mad at him and told him how awful that was for Anna, and that it was his fault too, you know, to have an affair, especially with his wife in that condition. But then he said you started to press him to leave Anna" he finally blurted, and now I'm furious. But with Jimmy.
"What" I whisper, coming closer, because when Hayes has a gossip or an explanation, he talks too slowly. He only talks fast when he's yelling, I noticed. So I needed to pressure him.
Hayes realizes I'm pressuring him and he stands up from my undone bed, which is a relief, but then he walks and stands right next to my bathroom door. Where I have all my makeup exposed on the vanity. It isn't much, but still. I don't want any guy to know what makeup I use. Even if he's a married one. Thank God I didn't have any underwear hanging there.
"He said you were... in love and was acting obsessive, pressing him to divorce her. But he finally convinced you and helped to reassign you to another good team, as long as you'd never tell Anna" he finally says everything, exhaling. "So, I thought that maybe you just joined our team because Jimmy helped somehow, and you know, after what Jessica told me… you know. I had my doubts", he says, obviously meaning that he was doubting my competence.
I'm lost for words. Jimmy's lies really are elaborate. He probably thought about that for months, to use this lie in cases like these. "Well" I finally say, after keeping my mouth open for a few seconds, amazed, "He truly is a liar son of a bitch".
"Look" Hayes walks closer, anxious again, then he walks around my room, he's a very agitated man, "Like I said, I don't care about your affairs or whatever. What I care about is my team. So, when I found out about Jessica's lie, I figured maybe you were telling the truth about Jimmy too. So, if you didn't come to work with us because of the affair, or flirting, or whatever you had with him, and you came here because you just wanted to switch teams and you're still good at your job, I'm fine with that. I just don't want the team to be harmed", he says, sounding extremely sincere.
I frown when I finally register his words. "What do you mean affair? I didn't have an affair with him" I say, annoyed.
"Oh. Ok. But like I said, it doesn't matter. Affair or not, flirting, whatever. Blackburn also told me that he was only being supportive that day with you" he smirks, apologizing.
Again, I'm confused, and I keep quiet while looking at him. He waits, confused too.
"You didn't read my file" I conclude, and it's not a question.
"No" he says, still confused, like it was obvious. "Why would I? Like you said, it's your right to not show it to me".
"But what, you'd just believe my version of the story?" I ask, suspicious.
Jason swallows. "Yeah. I would. You wouldn't want me to read your file if you were lying", he says, and sounds sincere.
I swallow. "But then you'd be okay to work with me, even if I left the other team because I had a thing, or even an affair, with Jimmy? Just because I'm good at my job?"
"Well" he looks confused, but nods. "Yeah".
"Fraternization is illegal, Jason" I say, even though he knows that.
He glances to the side, then looks down. "I know" he mutters.
I can't help but to remember that Jason probably slept with Jessica. It's not fraternization if he sleeps with a CIA agent, because there's no military hierarchy there, but the Navy discourages these relationships. And he's married. Maybe that's why he understood Jimmy having an affair. The bad part is that Jimmy's wife has cancer. And I knew that, actually. That's one of the reasons why I accepted to keep quiet about what happened.
I walk closer, and he looks up at me, uncomfortable.
"I did not have an affair with Jimmy. I did not flirt with him. Ever" I say, annoyed, pointing to the floor.
He looks confused, obviously not understanding why Jimmy would hate me so much. Then he looks angry.
He comes closer too, holding his hands together like asking for forgiveness. "That's horrible, what he made up about you. I see now that he hates you, Victoria, and I'll talk to looked guilty today for lying about you, obviously you shut him down, or-"
"He harassed me" I blurt without thinking, holding my breath.
Jason's eyes turn from apologizing to furious in a heartbeat. He opens his mouth to speak, but he notices that my eyes are filling with tears and I lick my lips, nervous, deviating from his stare. He doesn't need to ask, he knows what kind of harassment I'm talking about.
He's still holding his hands in front of his chest, but I notice he's pressing them firmly against each other.
"What" Jason whispers, dangerously, not moving an inch.
I blink and squirm, uncomfortable, because he looks and sounds livid, and I think that maybe he thinks that something more serious happened.
"He didn't… he wasn't violent" I blurt again, "I mean. He harassed me for a few months. That's all. That's why I left" I say, sincere, even though it was hell, it wasn't 'just that'.
Jason continues to stare at me, speechless, and he's not even the slightest less furious than before.
I try again, slightly smiling. "Look, it wasn't like-"
Jason doesn't even let me finish and he walks out of my room again, fast, opening the door aggressively and shutting it behind him.
And I stand there, confused, not knowing what to do, if I should follow him or not.
I think about it for a minute or so, then I think that maybe he went to talk to Jimmy, complaining about how he lied to him. Or maybe he just went to get my file, to confirm what I said. But if it's the first scenario, I'd really like to watch, from a distance and hiding, when Jimmy is yelled at by an angry Jason.
So I finally decide to follow him, even though he must be far away by now.
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