CHAPTER SIX
Visits at the shooting range
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I arrive at the food truck area, but I don't see Jason or Jimmy. But I see the guys from Foxtrot, including Thomas. He sees me too, and immediately stands up from his chair and walks to me.
"Did you see Jason pass by?" I ask, before he says anything. His smile disappears, and he hesitates before answering me, even though he noticed I was in a hurry.
"Yeah. He was here, asking for Jimmy. We told him he was probably at the fire pit, or in his cabin. Why?" he says, confused. I hesitate and think about staying there and talking to Thomas, like, catching up, but I'm even more curious now, because now I know that Jason will be yelling at Jimmy.
"Hum... look. I gotta go" I tell Thomas, smiling and lingering, and he smiles back. "It's really urgent. But I'll see you soon, okay?" I tell him, and he understands, and nods.
I nod back, still lingering, then I finally make my way to the fire pit. I get there and I don't see anyone I know, and I hesitate, because I don't want to look for Jason at Jimmy's cabin, for obvious reasons. I feel sad that I wouldn't get to witness their discussion. But maybe they'd also talk about Anna and Jason's wife and family, so maybe it would be awkward if I heard that.
After a couple of minutes of me hesitating, I see Brock walking with Cerberus, coming from the barracks area, that is further to the side. I try and ask him if he saw Jason somewhere around, and he immediately nods.
"Yeah. Just passed by me a few minutes ago. Grumpy again" he says, chuckling. Then he turns serious. "Look, about what happened with Jessica" he starts, and I know he's in love with her, so I don't even want to hear him defending her. I gesture for him to not talk.
"Did you see where Jason went?"
He turns to his side, then points with his chin to a place far away, and I look there. "He's probably going to our shooting range, by the looks of it" he says.
I only see the cafeteria really far away at the end of the Camp. "The shooting range is to the other side" I say, confused.
"No,ourshooting range. Special teams long-distance shooting range. It's just after the cafeteria, to the left. It's a wooden fence with a wooden door. If you want to, I can take you".
I sigh. It would be a long walk and I hesitate, especially because apparently Jason wants to be left alone, but I'm still curious. And since he screwed up with me, I think I have the right to know if he talked to Jimmy or not.
"Nah, that's ok. I'll go. Thanks Brock".
.
.
I walk a lot, and it's a long way to go. Fortunately, I'm wearing a short sleeve t-shirt today, because even though it's not too hot, I feel the heat. Maybe it's the anticipation. I pass by the cafeteria and remember that I'm hungry, so I quickly stop by and buy a diet coke, and drink a little, then continue with the can in my hand, thinking that if I stay with Jason shooting with some weapons, I could continue to sip the soda, maybe offer him some, too. I find the wooden fence and door that Brock described, and open it slowly.
The area is huge, and I can barely see the targets far away. I don't see Jason anywhere, so I slowly make my way next to the wall. There's only one hidden corner on that area, that is right against the wall from the garage for the jeeps, so I walk there and I still don't see him anywhere. I'm about to give up and leave when I see movement right at the last corner possible, and finally I walk until the end and from a distance I see the tent where they keep the long-range weapons, and right under its shadow, I see Jason.
With Jessica attached to him.
Actually, I see her blonde hair and her back, and I notice she's now wearing only a sleeveless top and her pink shirt is on the floor behind her. And I see Hayes behind her, facing me. I am so shocked that I gasp, but Hayes had his eyes open and immediately saw me, and pushed her to the side, embarrassed.
I am speechless and feel terrible, not because he was making out with someone, it's his right, but because he's married and having an affair, and recently called me pretty much a slut and incompetent because he thought I was having an affair with a married man. And he was making out with thetrulyincompetent woman that just lied to him and screwed me over.
And there I was, joyfully walking under the sun for what felt like miles, looking for him to tell that I'd forgive him, and maybe even ask him if he could let me shoot with the long-range weapons. And bringing us a cold drink. Even thoughheshould be asking for my forgiveness. On his knees. Probably, this was the place where he and Jessica met and fucked during their deployments in Afghanistan, and perhaps they had a fuck scheduled for now, and that's why he was in such a hurry. I never felt like such a loser before. I was in shock and livid at the same time, but worse than that, I felt my face burning and a lump in my throat. As soon as I see them and Hayes sees me, I turn and walk fast from there, the fastest I could without running, because that would be ridiculous.
I think about where would I hide in case Hayes followed me, even though I'm pretty sure that he wouldn't; he will first fuck her real quick and then awkwardly let me know that he forgave Jessica and that she should get another chance and stay in the team. I'm making a sketch in my mind, and decide that the best option will be to take a right turn and immediately enter the cafeteria, since it's quite full at this hour, then hide at the ladies' bathroom, then I'll come out later to eat. Maybe I'll have pie or something sweet for dessert, to cheer me up. By the moment I touch the wooden gate I have everything already planned in my mind, I just need to get out of there and turn right.
But a huge hand slams the gate closed, and I almost jump from the scare. The son of a bitch is fast. And silent.
"Wait" Hayes huskily says, with his body right behind mine. I glance at his right hand holding the gate closed and notice his knuckles are red and slightly swollen. I don't know what to do, because I'm kind of pressed between his body and the fence. On any other day, I'd feel great. If we didn't work together, of course.
"It's not what you're thinking" he explains, and I keep quiet and don't turn. He huskily exhales, right behind my ear, and I unconsciously shiver.
"I'm not thinking anything" I lie, in a monotone voice, still not turning.
"We weren't… she was apologizing" he explains, and I continue not believing him.
I want to turn and ask him if he'll apologize her, if he has the guts to tell me that, to my face, but I honestly don't have the strength to do that. I feel so absolutely sad and disappointed at him, that I don't know what to think. After our fight, and our conversation minutes ago, when I told him a very personal problem I had, I feel like I've known him for a long time, but now I have to remind myself that I don't.
Minutes ago. Yes, we were talking about Jessica's mistakes minutes ago. And yet, there he was, making out with her, in broad daylight. That is very unprofessional, because he would favor her, and I couldn't let her get away with that. So I finally turn to face him, and maybe I shouldn't have.
Because he's breathing hard and looking down at me really close, with a very,very, apologizing face. But I made up my mind.
"She lied to you about me" I say, not angry, but disappointed, "and she almost cost me my career".
He looks guilty as hell. "I know. I didn't say I apologized her. I was here, and she had just came in".
I frown, believing him somehow, but only the part that she just came in. Not the part that she was there just to apologize. I'm sure that I interrupted something scheduled there.
"It's not just you that needs to apologize her, Hayes" I remind him, I'm angry now, and he twitches his legs. Obviously he forgot about that detail.
"What is going on" Jessica suddenly appears behind Jason, with an angry voice. She's not too close, but close enough for me to see that she isn't wearing a sleeveless top. She's wearing avery sexylacey body suit, with her fake boobs almost exploding out of the cleavage. I gasp, because obviously she has a relationship with Hayes, and she's kind of right to be mad at us, because I'm almost squeezed between the gate and his body. I feel like a third wheel. Like a second mistress. I've never even been a first mistress to anyone.
Hayes turns as soon as he hears her, and then he turns back to face me, still with his hand behind me, but he's as speechless as I am, and this time hisveryblushed face isn't cute anymore. I just want to get out of there as fast as possible, because the lump in my throat is bigger, and I feel my throat hurting again, even though it was a lot better this morning.
"And you had the audacity to question my morality" I finally murmur, indignant, looking down. I don't look up because I don't want him to see my eyes right now. I turn around and touch the wooden gate, not saying a word, and after a couple of seconds he takes his hand off the gate and I quickly get the hell out of there, not looking back.
I do as I planned, turning right to the cafeteria, not because I need to escape Hayes, but because I need to get inside the ladies' bathroom as soon as possible. I thought I was going to cry, of anger, but as soon as I get inside a booth I feel apathetic again, and in control of my emotions. Or maybe I was just in shock after the day filled with emotions that I just had. I just know that I don't want to see anyone, not even Lisa.
.
.
After almost an hour in that bathroom, I finally come out, and grab two chicken sandwiches and three cookies to eat in my cabin. I walk slowly, still numb and overwhelmed, not looking up once. If I passed by someone I know, I didn't see them.
I finally get into my cabin and read the texts that Lisa sent me, because she saw me getting out of the food truck area with Hayes. She asks if he and I are good again. I answer that no, we're not, and that I'm tired from fighting and feeling worse from the throat again, and I wasn't lying. I ask her to let me know if something comes up about the terrorist cell or any other work that they need me to do, but other than that, I ask her if she could let me be for some time. She understands, as a great friend that she is, and asks me to let her know if I need anything, or when I want to talk, she'll go to my room. I smile for the first time in a few hours.
I eat one of my sandwiches and all the cookies and go to sleep, even though it's still the middle of the afternoon. Then I wake up in the middle of the night, look at my phone, then decide to go to the laundry to wash my clothes, since I'm almost out of clean ones and there's no one there during those hours. I calmly wait, then come back, and go back to sleep, it's almost dawn. Then I wake up, drink some water, watch some movies on my phone, eat the other sandwich, and shower, lazily washing my hair. Now it's the middle of the afternoon, which means that I should go out to grab something to eat. But I really don't feel like it, so I text Davis and ask if she could bring me two meat tacos, and she quickly says yes. I smile again, because that means I don't even need to change from my cozy gray hugesweatshirt, thatI've been wearing again since I washed it at the laundry.
This time Idecideto dry my hair, to avoid any more fevers, and Iheara knock on the door just when I finished. For the time that passed, it's definitely Lisa, but Iopenthe door just a little, just in case. I smell the tacos and open the door a little more, but I also see the side of a big frame and I just know that it's Hayes, and not Lisa, so I quickly close the door back again, but the jerk is quick and holds the door with his hand. I'm stubborn, and I close the door again, hurting his left hand, he grunts but he doesn't give up and opens the door.
I take a step back, annoyed as hell with his audacity.
"Please, let me come in" he politely asks, impatient, even though he's holding the door open to himself. He looks serious and angry, as if I did something wrong. That drives me crazy.
"No. Please, leave" I politely answer, crossing my arms.
He hesitates, still not coming inside, but holding the door open, with the tacos in his other hand. "You've been locked in here for more than a day, Vicky" he says, still serious.
I blink. "So? My throat is hurting again. And I have nothing to work on yet. I'm catching up on my sleep".
He stares, suspicious. "If I knew you'd be so upset after seeing me with Jessica, I would've come sooner".
Oh, the insolence. "You smug. Of course I'm not in my cabin because I saw you making out with your mistress", I lie.
He frowns, then he looks at me with a weird face. "I'm a widower. My wife passed away almost two years ago", he says, serious.
"Oh" I'm in shock, and ashamed for calling him a cheater. "I'm sorry that I implied you were cheating on your wife. I'm really sorry". My chin drops. I never imagined. A widower Seal, and with kids. That must be hard.
Some girls pass by my cabin and stare at us. He's still holding the bag with the tacos and leaning his hand on my door frame, and I'm wearing almost a sleepwear. There will be gossip.
He stares back at me, annoyed, and I finally sigh and let him come inside.
"What do you want" I murmur, walking to the middle of the room and leaning my butt on the shallow desk, crossing my arms. It's a very bossy pose.
Hayes places the tacos on the side table then turns back to me and swallows, then looks down and blinks, then looks up, and only then I feel a breeze on my legs. The sweatshirt is long, but not that long, and when I leaned on the desk and crossed my arms it went up. A lot. Inches from showing my underwear. I quickly stand up straight again, blushing.
"I don't" Hayes starts, stuttering, and he looks sad when I stand up from the desk, "I don't have anything with Jessica".
I frown. "I don't care about your affairs, Hayes, as long as they don't harm me. You know, because of the fact that you're obviously favoring her after what happened". I say, victorious, using his own words against him.
"I'mnotfavoring her" he states, annoyed, coming closer. I raise an eyebrow and he sighs, knowing that I'm not buying it. He stays silent, just looking at me, then he looks down. He keeps moving his legs, agitated as usual.
"Why were you at the shooting range?" he mutters, and I barely hear his question.
I frown. "I wanted to see if you talked to Jimmy, and what happened. The guys told me you were asking for him" I explain, and then I notice he's uncomfortable, and I feel indignant. "I'm sorry for interrupting you two love birds" I mock.
Hayes snorts, looking up at me. "I told you, we don't have anything. I take my job seriously" he says, with a dangerous voice, walking closer to me.
He's being unfair again. He can't talk that harshly to me.
"Like I said, I don't really care what happened between you two" I lie with confidence, "But the problem is that she's so obsessed with you that she creates this amazing lie so she can look good to you". I finally say, because I'm tired of it. I point at my chest, "She tainted my career soyou'd like her more"I mock.
"And because she's jealous of you" he bluntly says.
I lick my lips, and I nod. "Yes, she envies me".
He continues to stare. "That too. But as you can see, that wasn't completely my fault" he playfully and sarcastically says.
I lick my lips, stern. "Her incompetence caused JD's death, Jason" I say, and he looks at me with wide eyes. He knows. "So yes, it annoys me a little that you're still fooling around with her" I state, bitter, and he looks down.
"I talked to Jimmy" he says, sounding annoyed.
"Good for you" I sarcastically say, "At least you managed to confrontoneof the people that lied to you".
"Yes" Hayes says, with his hands on his hips, "and after somepressurehe confirmed that he was prosecuted for what he did. Against you", he swallows. He's incredibly uncomfortable, but so am I.
"And that I accepted to make a deal with him. That he'd plead guilty and serve his ridiculous sentence quietly. So his wife wouldn't know anything, and neither anyone else" I finish his story, sarcastic. Hayes just nods, stern.
I wait for him to tell me that he punched Jimmy, but he remains silent. It's a very serious offense to punch another soldier. But I understand that maybe they were both hot-headed and started to fight after Hayes called him a liar, and obviously nobody saw what happened, or else Hayes would be talking to Blackburn now.
"So apparently he didn't react or fight you" I say, looking at his unharmed face, and pretending I don't care. He nods again, serious, and remains silent, again.
I sigh, impatient. "Look, have you come here to apologize, or what?" I ask. I don't like the fact that Hayes keeps visiting my room and never truly apologizing.
"I don't have to apologize for anything. Like I said, I didn't do anything wrong. And from the things from the other night, I apologized yesterday. I just want to make sure you're okay, and that we're good" he says, coming closer.
I sigh. "If you promise to not favor Jessica, I'll stay in Bravo" I harshly say.
"I won't. I promise" he says, sounding sincere again. He takes another step closer, now he's almost hovering over me, and I'm almost touching the desk again.
"So, will you stay in Bravo? I mean, you're ok with you and I working together?" he asks, anxious. He looks very insecure now.
"Hum... yes. I mean, we were ok before, I don't see why not" I say, smirking, but he continues serious, and my smile vanishes.
"Unless you don't want me in the team" I say, anxious. That wasn't fair of him to ask me to change teams because of whathedid. "I mean, it's not fair, right, but you've been the team leader of Bravo for years, so if you don't want me to work with you guys, hum, ok then. Even though there aren't any good spots in other teams" I state, anxious and annoyed. I'm trying to make him feel guilty and also I'm trying my best to not show how sad I am, but I don't think I did a good job.
Jason looks guilty, fortunately. "No. No, no. I didn't mean anything. I'm ok with you working with us. Seriously" he says, gesturing, and he sounds sincere. I exhale, to calm myself down.
He swallows, looking to the side, agitated again. He finally notices that he's almost squeezing me against the shallow desk, and quickly takes a step back.
Jason looks at me, suspicious and anxious. "So... are we good?"
Don't know how the guy could change my mood and my mind that quickly. I can't believe that I'm already fine with him again. "We're good, yeah", I smile.
He smiles back, looking cute. "Ok. Good". Then he glances at my tacos on the table. "Are you gonna eat both?"
I squirm, yes I was gonna eat them both, but not at the same time, one of them I'd keep for later. But I could sell one.
"I'm really hungry. But I don't think I could eat both at once" I lie, then I smile at him, excited, and he smiles at me, curious, "but we could make a trade. I'll give you one if you let me shoot with some fancy long-range weapons".
He chuckles. "Sure. I'd take you there anyways, but hey, I'll accept the bribe" he suddenly walks to my door, opens it, then turns. "I'll wait for you there, ok? A lot of prying eyes here. Don't forget the tacos".
He shuts the door before I even say anything.
Apparently, I'm eating tacos with Jason at the long-distance shooting range today.
.
.
I pout while looking at my closet, not sure about what to wear. I shouldn't take that long to choose, because I don't even have too many options. But I choose to wear my clean camouflage pants that I've washed the night before, and therefore, they are a little closer to my body, and an olive green top with a round neckline, sliiiiightly lower than the ones I usually wear to work. It doesn't show anything, and it is allowed by the Navy, so.
Jason texts me when I'm quickly putting on some blush and lipstick. All very natural, but I can't help it. Eyeliner and mascara too. I always leave my cabin with that makeup, and most women here wear even more makeup, so there's no reason why I shouldn't put on some makeup now.
"Please don't tell me you're eating my taco" he writes. I smile.
"Not yet. Received a call, but I'm on my way now" I lie. But I didn't take too long, and five minutes later, maybe six, I arrive at the shooting range, where just yesterday Jessica was giving a private striptease to Jason.
"Hey. I'm hungry" Jason says, walking from the tent. He was sitting there, escaping from the sun, and checking some of the weapons. I place the tacos on the table under the tent, next to some nice guns, and we sit on two of the four chairs there and each eat their own taco, while Jason excitedly explains to me about the differences between some of the rifles. He also points out which weapon the team guys prefer. Ray and Clay are the shooters, that's their specialty, and they're great at it. They have different preferences when it comes to their guns.
"So, what's your preference?" I ask, curious, already finishing my taco. He talked a lot while I ate. But he eats a lot faster than me, too.
He shrugs. "Any of those is fine by me".
"I mean, long-ranged".
"Either" he casually repeats, swallowing the last bite of the taco. "It depends on the case or the day, so I don't think much about what I'm using to shoot".
I smile. "Ok, then. Which are you gonna shoot first?"
He smirks, standing up. "Like I said, any one" he smugly says, then he grabs one of the rifles and walks to the wooden deck, laying with his belly down. It must be uncomfortable, after just eating, and I sit next to him to watch. He casually looks at the weapon he took, then informs me, "this is a MK15. Its range is 1.600 meters". Then he moves to position and doesn't even move a quarter of an inch anymore, shooting three times. He looks for the binoculars, but can't find them, probably they're at the tent, so he gestures for me to lay down and take a look through the lenses of the rifle.
"Accuracy and precision. Perfect" I mumble, smiling. The shots were so close together that they made one big hole on the center of the target.
"Thank you" he cockily says, grinning.
I turn to him, confused, still laying beside him. "Do Ray and Clay shoot even better than that?" I don't understand, what can be better than his shots? Do they shoot exactly inside the hole of the first shot? I'm truly amazed if that's the case.
He playfully raises his eyebrows and smiles, not saying a word and taking the weapon again. I truly feel all of my body burn. This is not good.
"Wanna try?" he asks, joyful and relaxed.
"Can't I break it?" I ask, cautious, because I'd have to work five years just to pay for that weapon if I did. Because a big chunk of my paycheck goes to food, and I can't give that up.
He chuckles. "It's not that easy. We take them with ourselves and tackle guys with the weapons on our back" he casually says, not gloating, but explaining, and my body burns again, "so I don't think your small hands would break anything, no".
I'm practically melted to the wooden deck. "Ok then" I say, smiling, and he gestures me to let him position the weapon to my right side. He lays beside me again, now on my right.
"Just... don't touch anything yet" he quickly alerts me, because I was already trying to reach for the gun. He adjusts something on it, aiming at the target, and leaves everything ready. "Now,please don't touch the trigger until I say so" he quickly alerts again, and now I'm really terrified of touching the rifle. "It's very sensitive" he explains, noticing my fear.
"So,without touching the trigger, find the target. I've adjusted the distance and wind for you", he patiently says.
"Can I touch it now?" I ask, just in case.
"You can" he smiles. "Go on".
I barely touch the weapon, and I see that he left the aim pretty much in the center. "You already left-" I start to complain, because he did all the work already, but my mouth barely touches the weapon when I speak and it already moves the aim away from the target. "Never mind" I say, and hear him chuckle. I touch it again to the other side, to compensate, and it goes all the way, now completely out of the target. "Ok, this is impossible" I say, anxious and impatient. I'm embarrassing myself.
"That's ok, it's like that for everyone on their first time" he playfully lies, "Just breathe out and firmly grab the weapon, and only then you let me know that you're ready to shoot, and I'll tell you to pull the trigger".
I do as he says, exhale, then I patiently move the aim to the center of the target. It takes a lot of seconds, then I very quietly mutter 'ok', with my finger close to the trigger, almost without breathing.
"When I say, you do it immediately. The trigger is very delicate, you just need to barely touch it. Slightly breathe in and out, holding it firmly", he explains, and I do it. I barely finish breathing out, and I hear his voice. "Do it".
I pull the trigger immediately and without hesitation, barely touching it, and I have no idea if I got the target or not. I feel Jason's hand over mine, to keep the gun steady after I shot. "Let me see" he puts his cheek really close to mine, to check through the lenses, and he holds back a laughter.
"Did I at least hit the target?" I ask, reaching to look through the lenses. I realize, in shock, that I actually hit the target, not too off centered as I thought. I truly thought I wouldn't even hit the target. "Hey. Look at it. It's not that hard, huh" I joyfully say, and turn to him again.
Jason's got a really proud look. "Itis,actually. Well done" he huskily says, smirking and looking at my face. He's making it really hard for me. Ireallydon't want to have a crush on him.
When I was in Foxtrot, I had a platonic crush on Thomas, but even though we talked during ops, I never really got to know him that much during the ten months that I worked with his team. I mean, he was cute, but he never made my entire body boil just with a sentence. I think that maybe it's because we weren't in a long deploy together, as I am now with Jason. But I'm not sure. Being around Jason is nerv wrecking sometimes, for me. I need to get my crush for him under control as quickly as possible.
"Thanks" I say, trying to bring down my idiot smile to a slight smirk, "For letting me do this", I casually say, then I quickly get up and sit like I was before. "This must bore you. I mean, you've done this for, what, almost twenty years?"
He turns a little grumpy. "I don't think it's boring, no. It's my job, and I'm good at it" he sits and then stands up, passionately talking. He walks to the tent with the weapon in hand, and I follow him. I think I said something that annoyed him.
"I don't think this is boring either" I say, and he glances back at me, but doesn't stop walking. "And I also don't feel bored about my job".
He gets to the tent and glances at me again, stern, and throws the weapon on the table with the others, slightly too aggressively, and now I understand why he said I wouldn't break the rifle. But his aggression annoys me.
"What's the matter with you? I didn't say anything" I finally tell him, standing under the tent in front of him.
He stops moving the guns around aggressively, and looks at me again. "I'm sick of everyone telling me about how long I've been a Seal. And that I should just leave it for the new generations. That's all".
I frown. "What? What does that have to do with what I said?" I'm totally lost. He's so dramatic.
He sighs, and comes closer. "This draw-down, here, in Afghanistan. Twenty years of this war to now be shut down like this" he explains, and walks around, agitated. "People, like Lindell, Natalie, all annoying me, that I have to think about retiring. Leave the spot for the new generation. That's fucking annoying".
I have no idea who Natalie is, but ok, she's annoying then.
"Ok. So?" I ask, confused, opening my arms.
He looks at me speechless, confused and agitated, waiting for me to complete my thoughts. I thought I didn't have to, but okay. I sigh.
"Ah, come on, Jason" I almost yell at him, to wake him up, and he blinks, surprised. "That's what happens in every profession, especially if it involves physical activity. Football players, Olympic athletes, and also in any other profession. When I was leader of my team in the JAG I was one of the oldest ones, and they expected me to try for a prosecutor spot where I'd be buried in paper work, or get out and open my own law firm".
He places his hands on his hips, and I noticed before that he does that when he's gathering his thoughts. "It's different", he says, stubborn.
"Yes, of course. I couldn't be killed when I was doing my job" I say, and I kind of lied there, but I couldn't tell him that, "but Tom Brady continued to win NFL Championships even after everybody warned him to stop playing before he had a brain injury". I come closer to him, and he keeps quiet, looking at me, stern. "But for any person who loves their job and doesn't want to just hang around at their house doing nothing, there's always that moment when people meddle and try to force them to retire, or change professions to something calmer. As if when you reach 40 or 50 years old you're almost dead inside. But you're not".
He keeps quiet for a while, still with his hands on his hips, then pouts. "I don't really like Tom Brady" he says.
"I think he's hot" I naughtily say, smirking. "But the point is, if you're ok physically and mentally and can do your job the same way or better than the others, and love it... well, don't retire from operating then".
He continues in the same position, and suddenly he nods, still pouting, and looks down. "You're good" he murmurs, and looks up again, with his eyebrows raised and a playful expression.
"I know" I cockily say, shrugging and smiling, and I sit on one of the chairs under the tent. "Is Natalie your daughter?" I casually ask, curious.
He softly chuckles. "No. She's my ex", he says, and sits on the other chair.
I lick my lips, and tease him "Well, I know now why she's your ex".
Jason glances at me. "It wasn't just because of that that we broke up, but it helped".
"Hey" I playfully gesture, raising my hands, "you don't need to tell me this". He doesn't, but I was dying for the gossip.
He quietly grazes his fingers on the weapons. I wish it was my thigh. "I gave up a lot to be Bravo One. And I continue to give up a lot to remain Bravo One. The team always comes first" he looks at me, stern.
I think about placing my hand over his, to calm him down, but unfortunately it's not in my nature to touch people out of nowhere. I touched Clay's face that time, yes, but if I touch Jason's hand now it would be something more than a motherly gesture. So I just lean closer on my chair.
"You did. But your job isn't a normal one, it's life or death. If you're not comfortable anymore giving up your life to be Bravo One, you can let go. Just" I say, and he finally looks into my eyes, "Just don't let anyone pressure you. You can make that decision in your own time". I say that because I can't imagine how hard it must be to be a widower with kids and a Seal.
"It's hard to be the only parent that my kids have" he says, stern, reading my thoughts.
I nod, agreeing. "Yeah".
"Do you have any? Kids" he casually asks, glancing at me.
I realize that he thought that I meant I was also an only parent. "Hum. No. No I don't. No", I answer, uncomfortable. I was never comfortable about that question.
He notices my discomfort and tries to fix that. "Sure. That's ok if you don't want to. And you have time if you do".
I do, but not much time. But that's not the point. Of course, I'd never tell him that.
"I don't have the father, though" I blurt without thinking, again, and worse, while looking at him. Dear God, I'm my own worst enemy.
His eyes widen, he's totally uncomfortable, and tries hard to disguise it. But he can't, because he's blushing.
"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not searching for a dad" I desperately say, chuckling, but I'm nervous as fuck. "I meant... I don't know if I want kids yet. But if I'm with the right guy, I may want to. Maybe. So." I think I did a good job, and breathe out, relieved. He looks extremely relieved too. Because he probably was thinking that I'd ride him just to get his DNA. And I'd never do that. That would be a consequence, at most, not the motive.
"You know what" I say, standing up, because he keeps quiet, glancing at the sides, so he's obviously finding an excuse to get the hell out of here, "I think I'll go talk to Davis. She wanted to see me before" I say, feeling my face warm. "Again, thank you for letting me do this, I hope we do this again sometime" I say, walking backwards.
He stands up too. "Yeah. Sure. No problem. Anytime. I'll just put the weapons in the storage".
"Oh" I stop walking, "Do you need help?" now I blush even more, for being such a burden.
But he answers all relaxed, and gestures to me, "No. That's ok, I just throw them in the storage" he points to a huge metal box in the corner of the area, right next to him.
I nod and walk backwards "Sure? Ok. Bye then". Then I walk as fast as possible away from there.
I'll definitely have to avoid Jason for some time after scaring the poor guy like that.
.