CHAPTER EIGHT

Some awkwardnes

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"I cannot believe that you made out with Jason and didn't have sex with him" Lisa mocks me, walking out of her cabin, and I gesture her to keep quiet. Her voice is loud, and it travels. "I mean, what, is he really such a bad kisser?"

"No" I say, glancing at her while we walk, "On the contrary" I mutter, "Things heated up real fast" I say, blushing.

"Oooh… but if it was so good, why did you stop? I mean, wait for a while and then go to your cabin, for God sake" Lisa reasonably says, and I agree with her completely, but I don't tell her that.

"I don't know. He just… left, after."

"After what?"

I blush again. "We kinda, like, made out with our clothes on, like, grinding a little, and stuff".

"Oh my God" Lisa opens her mouth, smiling a lot, naughty, "You dry-humped Master Chief Hayes?" she says, but whispering, thank God. I smile, blushing, but she continues, "You're such a loser".

"What? Why?" I ask, indignant, feeling like a loser.

Lisa stops and stares. "You had the chance to see Jason naked and instead you rubbed on him fully clothed. You're a loser".

I try to defend myself, desperate, "But it was too public. Seriously. I couldn't. I don't know".

"You should've worn a dress, it would be quicker".

"I don't have any. Why would I bring a dress to J-Bad?" I say, bitter.

"I brought one" she says, smirking. "For occasions like this".

"No, it would still be too risky, seriously".

"Well, use it next time. Just in case. At least then you can enjoy Jasona little more"she mocks, and I keep quiet. Suddenly she realizes something, and she asks, "but if you were all that heated up, rubbing and stuff, what happened? That he left".

"Well, I don't know, I mean" I start, and blush more, "we were there, justrecovering, you know-"

"Recovering?" Lisa asks, suspicious, and then her face lights up, "Jesus, was it that good? Is that even possible? Were there hands at least?" she's whispering again, but we're in a corner of the street now.

"No. Just the rubbing. And apparently, yes, it'sverypossible. Didn't know that either" I confess, and Lisa is already daydreaming next to me.

"You dry-humped Master Chief Jason Hayes, Bravo One, until he came inside of his pants" she says, and I try to disguise it, but I smile, proud. "You're my hero".

I smile, cocky as fuck. When Lisa says it like that, it reallyisan accomplishment. I deserve the gloating. But I need to give him some credit, too.

"Well, he's not the only one who was enjoying it a lot" I say, smirking, and now Lisa almost drops to the floor.

"What" she says, smiling a lot, and I can't help but to smile too, "Was it because he grabbed your boobs? Because that helps".

"No" I say, confused, "No hands. I told you".

Her smile vanishes. "What? Didn't he touch you anywhere?" she gestures to my body.

I think for a while. "He touched my waist under my top… and grabbed my ass. To lift me".

Lisa fans herself, and is daydreaming again, looking up and imagining Sonny, probably. But I interrupt her dreams.

"But I think he's done with me now. You know, he had what he wanted I think. That's why he left".

Lisa wakes up from her daydream and snorts. "Come on, Vicky. He didn't even touch or see your boobs and already came inside his pants. He definitely wants to see and feel all of you".

I squirm, feeling warm all over my body. "But why didn't he then?"

Lisa glances at me, and keeps quiet for a while. "He does takes his job and reputation very seriously. Maybe he's afraid of someone finding out. After all, itisillegal".

I nod, understanding. I also take my job and reputation seriously, but unfortunately I kind of forgot about that when I was with him. I just wanted do be daring and do something dangerous, and probably he wasn't in the mood for something like that. But now I feel bad for making him cross the line.

"But you can't avoid him forever" Lisa says, and I sigh. But she's right. "Just go in, say hello, be friendly, and come out".

I agree, nodding, and we arrive at the cafeteria. Of course he'd be there. I don't know if I smile or feel awkward, so I think about it while Lisa and I walk to the counter to serve ourselves with food. Lisa glances at him then at me. He has our back to us, and only notices I'm there when I'm already standing in the line, with three people between us.

He glances at me and slightly nods, but remains stern, and I nod back, but I can't help it, I'm shyly smirking. He takes his food and sits on a different table than the guys', it's a table with a couple of guys and four soldier girls that work as crew member for another team. The girls drool over him, badly, and Brock sits there too, so the girls now are just going nuts. Jason tries to starts a conversation with those girls, and smiles at them, nothing too flirty, but completely focused on them. I know that because I watch him, discreetly, while I eat. He glances at me once, but I keep a neutral expression. Lisa looks at me, serious, also annoyed by it.

I already showed him that I was interested when I got into that alley, and he's the one who left me there. So the ball is on his court now. There are a few reasons why he's pretty much ignoring me completely and even sitting far from me. But only two of them apply to our case: he's either showing me that he doesn't want anything to do with me, nothing serious or any commitment, at least; or he's pushing me away, because he doesn't want to risk his reputation and job to have sex with me; it's not worth it. In either case, I take the hint, and Lisa understands it too, which is why she's serious and annoyed.

Dry humping Jason Hayes was as far as I'd go.

.

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The days go by normally, or as normal as possible, except for the fact that Jason doesn't talk to me, at all. And I feel like shit, because I never thought that this is how he'd react if we slept together. I thought some awkwardness might happen, but not this much. I mean, he made his point, he doesn't want anything to do with me, so he could treat me like a friend or colleague again. I don't see the problem. He didn't even see me naked.

So I walk to the food truck and choose a table, because by miracle I'm the first one there and the guys haven't arrived yet. But I'm hungry. So, I'm seating there looking at my phone, and I see Jason coming closer, looking at his sides, obviously walking to the table, and he hesitates as soon as he sees me. He stops walking and hesitates for a couple of seconds and I'm sick of it, why the hell can't this man just stop acting like a teenager and sit with me for a minute? I'm so pissed that I stand up from the table and walk to him, and he doesn't move, still with his hands in the pockets of his jacket and with his bad boy look.

"Would you stop doing that?" I whisper to him, annoyed, coming closer, "what is the matter with you?"

He looks at me, trying to disguise the fact that he's very aware that he screwed up. "Whatdoyoumean" he quickly asks, kinda of harshly.

I stop and stare at him. He's definitely something else. "You're not all that, Jason. I can stay around you and just be your colleague or friend" I bluntly say, and he blinks, surprised. "It's ridiculous of you to avoid me like this. You don't need to. And it's too weird. So stop it" I harshly say, with my arms crossed.

He keeps a cool expression, and walks pass by me. "I wasn't avoiding you, I've just been busy. You know, focusing on the team" he explains, walking to the table where I was. I look at him, suspicious, and decide to try a completely different approach. I decide to confuse him completely, like he confuses me. I touch his arm, and he turns, to look at me.

"So are we cool? I mean, are you mad at me or something?" I ask, serious, and with a tender voice. A concerned voice.

He squirms. "Of course not. I mean. Why would I be mad?" he asks, awkward and serious.

I sigh, relieved, and slightly smile. "Oh. Good. I thought that maybe you were mad because of what we did. You know" I whisper, still slightly smiling, "but it was kinda out of the blue for me too, sorry. I'm just bored" I say, a little playful, sitting at the table, and he sits in front of me, suspicious and quiet.

"But hey" I say, playful and friendly, "If we're good, I'm glad" I gesture with my hand between us, and he slightly smirks, nodding.

"Good then" I widely smile, tapping my fingers on the table, and he nods again. "And don't worry" I say, seductive. I look at him, then to Thomas, nearby, "I found another way to handle with my boredom" I whisper, smiling at Thomas, who smiles back at me. I'm not lying, it's just that Thomas is my Plan B.

Jason's face shuts down immediately, which is exactly the reaction I wanted, and he tries hard to disguise it, looking at Thomas, then at me. "Good for you, then. U-hum. Foxtrot Five" he purposely highlights the 'five'. I pretend I didn't hear it, but I did.

"Hey, so, can we go to the shooting range again? If it's not too much trouble for you. We can take Lisa or more people there, take some beer, kill time" I say, excited, because I like my idea. And I quickly added the presence of others, so he wouldn't think that I want to be alone with him there.

He taps his fingers on the table and pouts, then smirks. "Sure. Why not? Good idea. U-hum".

The guys arrive for lunch, Blackburn and Lisa too, and we all agree that this afternoon it would be perfect to shoot some guns. And I know exactly who I'll bring.

Thomas is happily walking with us, talking to me and some of the guys, because he's always very friendly and already made friendship with some of the guys. But I don't want to keep Thomas' hope's up either, so I stand behind and walk and talk to Jason and Lisa. She obviously can't restrain herself.

"I liked our party. I danced a lot" Lisa says, joyful and sincere.

"It was ok" I said, lying, "I thought that there was a moment that it was too crowded, though". Jason doesn't say anything.

"Didn't seem like you didn't like the party" Lisa points out, smug, "Because you stayed until dawn" she says, and it's the truth. After making out with Jason I came back to the party. No way I was going to stay in my cabin. Especially since I was on fire. I can see with the corner of my eye that Jason slightly reacts, pouting.

"Yep. But it was a lot emptier then. We could finally dance in peace, right" I tell Lisa, chuckling, and she chuckles too. Jason looks down, quiet.

We arrive and fill up the long-distance shooting range, with many beers surrounding the Seals, most of them laying on their bellies and shooting with the rifles. I sit close to Thomas for a while, to cheer him up, and he gets some good shots. Jason keeps shooting almost at the same time that Thomas shoots his rifle, so Ray keeps loudly comparing both the targets with his binoculars. Which is unfair, because Thomas is younger and less experienced than Jason, so I just ignore the amazing shots that Jason is getting. To be fair, he isn't the only one shooting at the same time as Thomas, but he always shoots immediately after Thomas. He's shooting close to us, and can hear us, and Thomas stops for a moment and glances at him, before turning to me, embarrassed.

"I think I should wait until he takes all his shots and then shoot mine. Maybe I'll wait until Sonny goes, so at least both guys with the same specialty can be compared, huh", he says.

I laugh, and Sonny, who was still standing up just drinking, hears his name.

"You blow up things too?" he asks, interested. He didn't talk too much to Thomas until then.

"He does" I answer for him, proud and seductive, "and he does a great job. Too great, sometimes". I'm not lying. And it's hot to watch something purposely blow up.

Thomas squirms laying down, smugly smiling. "She says that because once I kinda brought down almost an entire building, alone".

I notice that Jason stopped shooting and is just still, looking through his lenses. It could be a coincidence, or not.

"Chicks do love that" Sonny nods at Thomas, smug, and they have an understanding, because they nod at each other. I decide it's time to take a walk around while they joyfully compare their favorite explosives.

I sit next to Jason, who is still looking through his lenses, hunching down to talk to him.

"Which one is it?" I ask, in the most casual and seductive voice I can. He almost jumps from the scare, and looks at me, stern.

"Please, don't ever scare a man with a powerful weapon again" he says, with reason.

I shrug, dismissing his concerns. "So. Which is this one?"

"MK13" he mumbles, looking through the lenses. "1.200 meters".

"I sense you prefer MK rifles" I wisely point out. He calmly shoots three times, ignoring me.

"Any. One, Vicky. I don't care" he mutters, then exhales while looking at the lenses. He smiles. Obviously accurate and precise, again.

"Can I see it?" I joyfully ask, and he nods, so I lay down and look through the lenses. A small hole where the three bullets passed through. I feel my body burning again.

"Well done" I sincerely tell Jason, turning to face him. His face is very, very, close to my face, but unlike any other day, I don't deviate his stare. And he could have kept his face a little far away, too, I notice. But he didn't.

"Thanks" he mutters, looking at me with a smirk. I glance at his lips, and I'm truly nauseated with desire, I don't even remember that there are people around us. I just remember the sensation of his face and lips against mine. And his body squeezing mine against the fence. And his bulge grinding me. He doesn't deviate his stare either. I start to wonder what sensations he remembers from that night.

"Vicky" Lisa awkwardly calls me, almost whispering, and me and Jason look up at her. She's standing up close to us. "Come on".

I kind of roll away from Jason, still looking at her, confused. "Come where?"

Lisa licks her lips, nervous. "Blackburn is calling us" she says, glancing to her side, and Blackburn is waiting next to us, impatient. I honestly didn't hear him call me, and obviously neither did Jason. "His phone buzzed. We got news from the CIA".

"Oh. I'm kinda deaf from the shooting yesterday" I loudly and playfully lie, apologizing, because Ray and Trent noticed I didn't hear Blackburn either, "finally some news" I celebrate, smiling at Lisa and Jason, and he grins at me, almost blinding me. I quickly stand up and almost run out of the shooting range with Blackburn and Lisa, and she just gives me a naughty smirk.

We make it to Command Center, and we got the hint that one of the Afghani tribe leaders that was suppose to show up at the meeting didn't, and therefore is alive and either is the responsible for their deaths, including JD's, or has information, and needs to be captured alive. We call the guys to brief them, and they listen and plan their op, that will happen this night. I know they'll be in full camouflage uniform, so I visit their room, when they're finishing gearing up. I'm there to wish them good luck. And to see them in uniform. It's a great view. Lisa is there, too, for the same reasons.

"Good luck, guys. Be careful. This is still a war zone" I remind them, and Jason quietly smiles at himself when I tell them that. "What? It is" I say to him, annoyed.

He hovers over me, weapon in one hand and helmet in the other. "Yeah. It is" he huskily says to me, now serious, and I feel warm again.

"Glad you agree. Be safe then" I tell him, tenderly, and he smirks at me, then walks away, and glances back once. I melt.

.

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The guys bring back the terrorist, Zahed, alive, but barely, because there were other terrorists ready to kill him in the streets of J-Bad. Reiss Julian does a great job interrogating Zahed, and he finds out that his nephew tipped him to not appear in that meeting. His nephew, turns out, is Murad, one of the employees of the kebab food truck in Camp Larkin, and Lisa, Reiss and I remember him very well. Zahed told Reiss that Murad is part of a new terrorist cell, called Tahara, that is growing fast in Afghanistan. So, the three of us walk to the owner of the stand, Samin, and squeeze out of him the information that Murad frequents a Hookah Lounge in J-Bad, where it seems the gatherings of this new terrorist cell, Tahara, take place. We ask him to be our asset and get more information, and so he does.

He comes back the next day and talks to us, confirming about the Hookah Lounge, and he says that he was invited for their gatherings from time to time, but never went there. We try to convince him that he should attend one, to record what is happening, so the guys can catch them. But he's scared as shit and says he'll think about it. A couple of hours later, he accepts, but still scared as shit, and Lisa and I are very aware that Reiss must have pressured him with something, and it sucks, but it's usually the only way to get assets to do things. It's Reiss' job, and one of the reasons why I never accepted joining the CIA when someone tried to recruit me.

"Got something?" Jason walks to me when I'm walking to my cabin, wearing a green sweatshirt, again with his hands in his pockets. He was sleeping after his op, and now he still has a sleepy face under the sun.

"We did" I say, stopping, "and it's something solid, apparently. You'll be buzzed again soon, Samin accepted to join a gathering this afternoon and record it, and you guys have to get ready to invade the place and capture possible terrorists".

"He accepted, huh" Jason wisely says, walking closer to me. He's adorable with a sleepy face.

"Yes" I smile at him, trying to use his shadow as a shield so the sun doesn't blind me, "the CIA made him accept. Poor guy" I say, raising an eyebrow. Jason notices my problem with the sun and takes a small step to the side and closer to me, to cast a shadow on me. "Thanks" I mutter.

He nods, serious, and pauses. "How come the CIA never tried to recruit you? For your work in the JAG" he finally asks, curious.

I keep quiet and open a mysterious smile at him. Of course they tried.

He smiles back. "And why didn't you accept? It's a lot of people's dream job".

I shrug. "Because of things like these" I point with my head to the side, meaning Samin. "I don't want to have someone's life and safety under my responsibility".

He stares at me. "You haveourlife and safety under your responsibility when you give us intel and plan the ops".

"I do" I say, affectionate. "But you guys can take care of yourselves. And you volunteered to be at risk. Most CIA assets are convinced or pressured to help" I explain, and he nods, understanding. "You have the responsibility of keeping your brothers safe, too. That must be overwhelming".

"It is" he quickly admits, agitated, and glances at the sides, then to the floor. "I gave up a lot to be Bravo One, like I told you. But I had to. The team needs me".

I nod, smirking. "They do. And you need the team".

He squirms, agitated. "What do you mean?"

"It's not something bad, Jason. Being Bravo One is your life. Half of it, at least. For many years of your life. The thing is, do you love to be Bravo One? Or are you just staying because you're afraid the guys won't be able to handle themselves without you?" I ask, truly curious. It's not possible that he never thought of that.

He squirms again. "I don't know. I love what I do" he says, looking away, then he looks back at me. "But it doesn't matter much. It's my duty, and there's no choice in duty" he says, with a passionate voice.

I snort. "So you're saying that when I traded JAG for DEVGRU I didn't have a choice" I state, and it's not a question.

He finally stands still. "Why did you? Blackburn told me you were amazing at your job".

I smile, Blackburn is sweet. "Because" I take a step closer, to unconsciously take a hair of Cerberus from his sweatshirt, and he watches, in silence and still, "I hit my breaking point, I think".

He swallows. "That bad, huh?"

"It was the last of many, actually. And to be honest, I was looking forward to working in DEVGRU for a while. It just happened that I got the invite from the guys at the top". I look at him, and he's listening, attentively, but probably wants to apply my judgment and decision to his case.

"I lost a lot working in the JAG, Jason. My time and peace of mind, for sure. Not as much as you, obviously, but as you can see, I don't have a husband, kids, or even my own house" I say, swallowing, because it's difficult for me to admit that. He nods, serious, and I continue, "But I really loved it. Until I didn't, anymore. To be honest, I found out that I loved to collect the data for the cases, analyze it, watch interrogations, analyze people too, and then conclude things. And that I can do here. With you guys".

He listens to all of it still, not moving an inch, and I wait for his response.

"I love operating. It's what I'm good at" he concludes.

"Good. What do you like the most about operating? The planning, the guns, the action, what?"

He shrugs, and thinks for a while. "Just being there. With them".

I smile, he's just so loyal. "You're loyal" I say, and he just stares, serious. "I like that" I inform him, and he smirks. I keep looking at him, lingering in silence for a few seconds, but then remember. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I need to go back to arrange the things for the gathering at the Hookah Lounge soon" I say, walking into the women's barracks area. "You should rest before being buzzed again".

He chuckles. "I've slept enough. I'm not an elder, you know".

"Oh, I know" I quickly say, smiling and remembering his hard moves against my core. He gives me a cute smile too, probably thinking about the same thing. Maybe it wasn't acutesmile, no.

And I continue smiling until I get inside my cabin.

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