Summary: Dae Ho opens up to Hyun Ju, and she and Myunng Gi have a heart-to-heart

A few hours earlier Hyun Ju Pov:

Dea Ho was a mess, sobbing on the floor, muttering nonsense; it was as if his body was transported somewhere else. He settled in a corner between the wall and bed, cradling himself. I was disappointed that he did not bring the amo, but he also might have saved our lives. Not to mention, I've seen countless people in the same state he's in; whatever he's going through right now, it is a dark place. I've had many friends go into a deep depression after their time in service; some learn to live with it, others pushed to the edge.

Looking down, I decided to give him a minute before talking to him, letting him clear his head. Turning around, I see Jun Hee and Player 333 sitting on the bed. Her head rests in the crook of his neck, and he draws invisible shapes on her hand.

It doesn't take a genius to realize that he's the father of her unborn child. The way he follows her around like a lost puppy, follows her commands and is always checking up on her. I'm still mad at him for locking Young Mi out of the room, but deep down, I know he had no choice, and that's what I hate more. How helpless I was. Knowing that if I didn't vote to stay, we would eat some homemade kimchi. The guilt is a burden I will carry with me forever.

It's why I was so adamant about helping Gi Hun's rebellion. I hoped to be able to help the people in here instead of hurting them and find a way off this cursed island, money be damned. Now we're left worse than before, with most of the people wanting to go home dead. Before I can fall into more self-pity and hate, though, the sound of yelling pulls me out of it.

One of Thanos' lackeys, or former lackey now, is harassing one of the X's. He's small, with a bowl cut, and gets pushed around by the long-haired man. When it's clear the guards aren't going to intervene, I decide to get involved.

"Is there a problem here?" I demand, standing to my full height between the two boys and keeping the X safely behind me.

"Yeah, the problem is that he is a TRAITOR!" The O yells, pointing an accusing finger at the boy behind me, but I stand firm, keeping a barrier between them.

"Don't you think there has been enough bloodshed for today?" I ask in a cold voice.

"Why? Scared, I'll kill another one of your precious X's?" He sneers

"No, I just don't want your blood on my hands." I stare down at him, crossing my arms. Both of us are unmoving until the triangle guard comes and breaks us apart.

"None of that now. Save it for the games." They commanded, gun at the ready. Well, that's not ominous. With one final glare, I lead player 125 back to our little corner.

"What's your name?" I ask him

"Min Su," he answers in a timid voice.

"Hello, Min Su, my name is Myun Ju. Why don't you join us?"

He seemed hesitant at the idea, "I don't know if-"
"I insist, we need to stick together. Safety in numbers and all that." We returned to our little area; Geum Ja went to check on Jun Hee, so Young Sik joined us.

"Hey, how are you guys?" He asked in a soft voice, the defeat evident.

"Were alive." The for now was left unsaid but heard just as clearly, "This is Min Su; he'll be joining us."

"Hello Min Su, I'm Park Young Sik. My mother, Jang Geum Ja, is the elderly woman over there. The young woman she's with is Kim Jun Hee, and next to her is her sorta partner, Lee Myung Gi. We don't really know what their deal is right now. Over on the bed is Kang Dae Ho, and there's…" The silence was painful, knowing there should have been two more people to introduce. "Well, yeah, that's everybody."

Min Su looks around a little hesitant, but when the curly-haired man walks away, he is quick to follow, probably not wanting to be left alone. Checking on Dae Ho and noticing he had calmed down, I decided it was time to talk to him. I made my way to the bed, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Myung GI grabbing some spare mattresses and dragging them to the bed. Once Dae Ho noticed me, he flinched, but I just held my hands up in a non-threatening manner, "Can I sit down?"

He hesitated for a moment before nodding. Once I had his permission, I sat down near the foot of the bed, making sure to still give him space. He sat at the head of the bed, still holding himself, his eyes blood red and tear streaks running down his face. For a moment, we just sat there in silence, carrying the weight of everything, not knowing what would happen to us as the soul survivors of the rebellion.

"I'm sorry I failed you." he finally mutters, and if it weren't so quiet, I wouldn't have heard him. "I wanted to bring the ammo. I really did, but I just froze. It was like my brain was no longer here, and I had no control over my body."

"Dae Ho," I start off carefully, not wanting to set him off, "Were you ever diagnosed with PTSD?"

"What?" He asks, looking up at me with a puzzled expression.

"PTSD is a disorder that comes from experiencing a really traumatic experience. It could explain your panic attack. Maybe you got it during your time in service?"
"-I was a medic!"
"...what?"

"When I was in the Marines, I was just a medic. My father wanted me to fight, you know, 'Be a Man,' but I was considered unfit." His head is cast down, staring off into space, "He was so mad, punched a hole into the wall, told me to leave, as not to disgrace him anymore," He lets out a dry laugh, "Mum was crying, begging me to stay, but I knew if I stayed any longer, he would take his anger out on her. I mean, I know how to take a punch, but Mum's too kind and gentle for that."

"Dae Ho-"

"It's my fault anyway; I was never manly enough. Growing up, I couldn't protect my mum and sisters, I couldn't save most of my comrades, and even now, I couldn't save anyone here. I'm the worst." He seems to shrink into himself, and I can sense we're heading into dangerous waters. It's off-putting to see someone who is usually so cheerful and sunny into such a deep depression.

"It sounds like your father was a very hard man to live with." It's something I can relate to. Growing up, my father never liked my more "Feminine Side," as he put it. He was overjoyed when I started my service. Once I came out and started my transition, he completely cut me off, and that did hurt, knowing that he would never accept me. But even then, he never hit me or my mother.

"Mom says he changed after the War. He came back more irritable and angry and started drinking more. That's also when he got obsessed with passing on his legacy. I have four older sisters, and each time, he got mad when they were born, upset that my mom wasn't giving him a son."

"Seems like he put a lot of pressure on you."

"It was fine, as long as he ignored my sisters. Growing up, I used to love playing with them. They're some of the toughest, smartest people I know. But…"

"...Your dad didn't like it?" I try to fill in the space, hoping I can help him talk it out.

"He said they were emasculating me and that I shouldn't waste time with them and focus more on playing sports or helping him at work. It was fine as long as he was sober, though. I mean, he was still violent, but he only brought out his gun when he was drunk."

I stilled at that. Owning a gun as a civilian was illegal, but from what I heard of Dae Ho's father, he doesn't seem like the type of man to care about that. It was already revealed that his dad wasn't afraid to hit his wife or children, but the thought of using a weapon against his family, "Did he ever shoot you?" I ask, desperate for only one answer.

"No, he didn't; he sure threatened a lot. He mostly shot the wall or furniture. If we were sitting down, he'd shoot the lamp next to us or shoot off the lock of a room we were hiding in. That's… that's what the gunshots reminded me of. It's like I was back in my childhood home, hearing my mum cry and holding on to my sisters, hiding inside a closet."

My heart broke at the story. That isn't how anyone should be raised. He never showed any indication of hurting so much. Dae Ho is the kind of person who is who is always ready to put a smile on your face;. He's kind, honest, and always ready to lift his friends up.

"I was weak," He finally mutters.

"No, you're human." my voice is firm, with no room for argument.

"But I let everyone down; everyone died because of me!"
"And we could have died too if we were out there."

"But if I-"

"We can spend the rest of our lives contemplating what-ifs. What really matters is the here and now and what we can do in the future." He nods, still unsure but ready to drop it. "Listen, what's done is done. Right now, let's just focus on surviving, okay?"
"Okay"

"Good. Now, get some rest. We need to be prepared for anything." I leave him to his own devices, noticing Min Su taking my spot; he and the former medic just sitting together in silence.

Despite the advice I gave, I found myself unable to rest either, the fear and anxiety looming over me. I find myself pacing around, hoping to burn off some energy and watch over the others, not knowing what the O's or even other X's will do to us. Everyone seems to be trying to relax, too warn out to try anything for the night. After a while, a sight catches my eye: Myung Gi whispering something into Jun Hee's stomach. It's a touching and intimate scene, but I find myself curious.

Whenever the two of them interact, it's fire and water colliding. I wouldn't say they're making a scene, but it's clear there's a deep history between them. Jun Hee's thoughts on the father of her child are the hardest to pinpoint. One moment, she says he's dead to her; the next, she's defending him against other players. For both of them, their first instinct is to protect each other, always ensuring the other is in their sight. It was as if they were a part of a dance only they knew.

I knew I was caught when he stopped stretching, and our eyes met. We both froze, and I knew once again it was time for another important talk. It would be no good for us to have all this animosity between us; the only way for us to survive is to work as a team. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to walk up to the bed outside the "window."

"We should talk-" "I just wanted to say-" We will start at the same time.

"You first," he says, "you're the one who came to me."
"I just wanted to say that we should talk; it will be useless to everyone if we ignore each other the whole time; we need to trust each other."

He laughs humorlessly, "Jun Hee would tell you that I'm the last person you should trust."

"If that were true, I don't think she would have let you join our little alliance."

"Maybe." he shrugs. "I wanted to say I'm sorry about Young Mi. I'm sorry that she died. But I'll be honest: I don't regret pushing both of us into the room. Not when it saved her." his gaze shifts to the pregnant girl currently sleeping peacefully, and it softens.

That hurts to hear, but I knew it was realistic. Everything about this place hurt. But still, there was something in his voice that stood out when he made that proclamation, "You love her, don't you?"

He sputtered, clearly not expecting my statement, looking back up at me, eyes wide. "Um-what?"

"You love her." It's obvious to anyone who watches them. Not to mention, she's currently pregnant with his child, so at least some chemistry has to be there. That seemed just to get him flustered, and I realized I wasn't the person he needed to have this conversation with. "Look, what matters is that we have the same goal, so let's focus on getting out of here alive, Deal." I hold my hand out for him to take.

He looks at it for a minute, almost unsure. But then Jun Hee shifts her sleep, catching his attention. He looks me in the eye and takes my hand, saying, "Deal." His grip is firm.

"Is anyone here planning to actually sleep?" A groggy voice says, and we turn to see Jun Hee rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey, you need your sleep." Myung Gi says worriedly.

"I can say the same about you two," she yawns while sitting up. "Besides, I can't sleep, not with what I know."

"What happened?" I ask, concerned in a hushed voice.

Looking around, she lets out a slightly extenuating yawn, leaning into Myung Gi, her hand gesturing me to lean in. "It took me a moment to realize because I was in shock earlier," she says softly, trying not to look suspicious to the guards, "But when they showed off the dead to us, three bodies were missing."

No, that can't be right, but I think back to the moment we were all terrified and mournful; so much was happening at once when they brought out the six bodies. But eleven of us revolted; Dae Ho and I returned to the dormitory, so we survived, meaning there would have been nine casualties. I can see the moment Myung Gi comes to the same conclusion. But who did we miss? I replay the memory over and over again until I realize who: Gi Hun, Gyeong Seok, and Young Il.

So the real question is, what happened to them?

Notes: This is probably one of my favorite chapters, Dae Ho is probably one of my favorite characters, and I wanted to do him justice in this fic, so I took what we knew in the show and came up with a backstory for him