Prologue

Plot: In one universe, Anakin and Padme choose to wait until after the war to marry. But the Sith's plans are already in motion, so that alone will not be enough to save the galaxy, even though Anakin does not join Sidious. Instead, Anakin goes into hiding, vowing to do whatever it takes to bring Sidious down, even if it means fighting a war on his own as the vigilante called Vader.

Author's Note: Y'all have no kriffing clue how excited I have been to finally, finally, FINALLY start posting this fic. Lol. It (and the entire series) is very special to me, and I really hope that y'all enjoy reading it as much as I have loved writing it! ^-^

I have done by best to portray everyone as they were shown in ROTS. :)

I couldn't wait to start posting it, so you're getting the prologue now. I don't want to start posting Act 1 until I'm almost done writing it. I'm not sure when that'll be, but I hope it's soon, hopefully by the end of the month.

This was written for DarkLordoftheS1th on ao3. Their ideas are amazing, and I'm glad they trust me to write them! :D

~ Amina Gila

"A Chosen One shall come, born of no father, and through him will ultimate balance in the Force be restored."

**w**

"I – I want to marry you so much , you have no idea. I love you with the force of a thousand suns. I would do anything, anything at all, if you only asked me, Padme. I would leave the Order to live with you. I want a family. I want to be with you." He reaches out, clasping her hands in his own, staring into her eyes and trying not to feel too self-conscious about his prosthetic. To her credit, Padme doesn't react at all to the cool metal fingers in her own.

"I sense a but," she prompts, lips quirking into a smile.

Anakin wants to lean in and kiss her. He wants to stop talking, to give in to this... paradise, this dream. He can't. He can't do that. He wants to more than he wants to breathe, but... this is – this is best. "I don't want to live a lie," he admits, squeezing her hands. "I don't – you were right; we would be living a lie, and I – I don't want to have to hide how much I love you. I want to be free to love you, to live with you. I would not hesitate to leave the Order, but there is war. There is war. The galaxy needs me." Obi-Wan needs me, he doesn't add. For all that he loves Padme, for all that he wants to be with her, to have a family with her, he doesn't know if he truly has the strength to permanently walk away from Obi-Wan, even if he should, even if it would be easier.

Obi-Wan is – he is his master, his father in every way that matters. Obi-Wan has given him everything, and even though Anakin is tired of the criticism, the scrutiny, the lack of praise and encouragement, Obi-Wan is still important to him. How – how ungrateful could he possibly be to throw it all back in Obi-Wan's face, leaving the Order even before his Knighthood?

"The galaxy needs both of us," Padme agrees, nodding. She almost looks disappointed for a moment, but then it's gone, eyes clear and bright, shining with warmth and affection and pride. "It will be hard to stay apart from you, Ani, but... you are right. It will be for the best for both of us. I would not want to distract you from your duties to the Jedi and the galaxy. We can wait. I will wait for you until this is all over."

"And we will... be friends?" Anakin asks, a little breathlessly, trying to keep himself from getting distracted by her. It would be so easy ... No, he tells himself harshly. He has made a decision, and he will not be weak enough to let desire distract him.

"If we can be," she smiles impishly, "Without getting... distracted."

Anakin snorts, quietly. She has a point, and he steps back from her before the temptation to kiss her overcomes him. If he does, if he gives in like that, then it will be over. He will be content with the knowledge that they love each other, that they are willing to wait for each other until this is all over. It will have to be enough for them to steal brief moments and glances, restraining themselves from going further until the war is over, so he can leave the Order and she can leave the Senate – presumably – and then, they can start a family of their own.

**w**

Over three years later

Anakin stands over Dooku, hands gripping the lightsaber hilts as he crosses them at the defeated Sith's neck, hesitating, Palpatine's words echoing through his mind repeatedly. He – he can't do that. He can't kill Dooku in cold blood like that. It's not the Jedi way! He should arrest him, bring him back to the Temple for questioning and for trial. Perhaps they can get information from him, information which might yet help them end this war.

"I shouldn't," Anakin protests, staring down at Dooku. "It isn't the Jedi way." He had thought that he would feel good, having Dooku at his mercy like this. He doesn't. Dooku deserves it, though. He started, or helped start, at least, the Clone Wars that have torn the galaxy asunder and resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of people. He has lost track of how many of his friends among the clones have fallen victim to the Separatist battle droids.

And Ahsoka ...

His heart twists painfully when he thinks of her. If not for the war, Barriss would not have Fallen. Ahsoka would not have been framed. She would not have left. At least he knows that she's okay, and he can only trust that she will continue to be okay while she and the entire 501st Legion deal with Maul on Mandalore.

"Do it, Anakin," Palpatine practically snaps. "He has done so much evil. He deserves death. The Senate will not be merciful to him, but there is a chance that he will find a way to escape. He is dangerous . Do it, my boy. End this."

There's a strange look on Dooku's face, stupefaction or disbelief maybe, but Anakin doesn't pay it any mind. He can't, not when his mind is a tumult of chaos and uncertainty. He instinctively reaches for Obi-Wan, only to remember that his former master is still unconscious. He doesn't want to do this, even if it is for the best. But... that is what he's been taught to do, right? Act for the greater good? And can he really disobey a direct order from the Chancellor?

He exhales harshly, jerking the lightsabers apart, looking away as Dooku's beheaded body falls to the floor. Despite himself, he flinches as the Count's life vanishes into the Force, a feeling of wrongness gnawing at him. Force, what did he do?

"You did well, Anakin," Palpatine praises as Anakin frees him from the restraints. He rises, rubbing his wrists, and Anakin risks meeting his eyes for a moment. Despite his words, he seems... disappointed, disapproving.

"He was an unarmed prisoner," Anakin replies, a little more sharply than he means to, tired of being ordered around and told to do things against his conscience by the people he trusts and respects and looks up to. "It was wrong."

"He hurt you," Palpatine reminds, looking pointedly at Anakin's face and arm, "It is natural that you want revenge on him."

Anakin resists the very childlike urge to reach up and touch the scar next to his eye, the one that Dooku gave him a year ago on Naboo when he had been briefly captured by him. It had been a very unpleasant affair, to say the least, and it's one that Anakin prefers not to think about. Knowing that Grievous went free because of him has never sat well with him.

His fingers tighten on Dooku's lightsaber, and he feels a violent stab of guilt, almost horrified by his own actions. How could that have been right ? It doesn't even make sense.

"It wasn't the first time," Palpatine continues, and Anakin turns away from him abruptly, not wanting to hear the rest of it. As he hurries to Obi-Wan's side, he can't explain what it is that prompts him to tuck away Dooku's lightsaber, clipping it to the side of his belt where it will unobtrusively remain. Perhaps it is a reminder of his guilt... and of his victory, Anakin doesn't really know.

He doesn't look back to see the disapproving, disappointed look on Palpatine's face. Perhaps he should have, because if he had, he might have seen the flicker of anxiety in the elder man's eyes before it disappeared entirely, tucked away behind a well-perfected mask.

**w**

"You can stay, you know," Obi-Wan says after Palpatine has left from the transport shuttle that took them from where the Invisible Hand crashed to the Senate building.

Anakin looks out at the crowds of Senators, hesitating, before shaking his head. "No," he declines, "I should go with you to the Temple to report to the Council." Dooku's lightsaber feels like it's burning into his side, no matter how hard he tries to ignore it. But that's not the real reason he hesitates to stay here at the Senate. Staying here will undoubtedly mean seeing Padme again, and after... last time, Anakin doesn't think that he's ready for that.

He had spent time with her, at her apartment, and... things had... gotten out of hand. She had not minded, and nor had he, but he still feels... uncomfortable. They had promised to wait until marriage, and they didn't. He fears how their actions will affect their friendship, especially with the war not quite yet being over. They had spoken a few times via hologram after that incident, and it had been alright, even if there was an underlying awkwardness which had never existed in the past.

If Anakin sees Padme again, face-to-face, that will mean having to talk to her about what they did. He doesn't think he's ready for that yet. Perhaps it is cowardly for him to hide from her, to avoid her, but they – they are not lovers. They were not supposed to be. They were supposed to wait to marry until after the war. If she is merely a friend, then he can avoid her until he feels more... sure of himself.

Obi-Wan studies him, searchingly, before nodding, gesturing for Anakin to join him. They don't speak much, other than a few comments about the war, as the transport takes them to the Temple. "You defeated Dooku," he comments at last, and Anakin can't help but look at him, feeling caught off guard. Obi-Wan smiles, warmly, and Anakin can't help but smile back. "I am proud of you for that, Anakin. You have done what others could not."

"I –" Guilt surges up, almost choking him, and he ducks his head, looking away. He can't bring himself to meet his former master's blue-gray eyes, filled with affection and pride, and affect these words that he so craves to hear, knowing what he has done. He executed an unarmed man and tapped into the Dark to do so. Perhaps he should be more disturbed by the fact that only one of those two is weighing on his conscience. "Thank you, Master," he manages at last.

Obi-Wan nudges his shoulder lightly with his own, but he doesn't push or say anything, even if he must have felt Anakin's conflicting emotions. Anakin doesn't know if that makes him more angry or regretful. For all that he wishes they could be close, as they once were, that... is no longer possible. Obi-Wan does not truly trust him – he proved that when he faked his death for that mission – and for the life of him, Anakin cannot understand why. What did he do that his own master doesn't trust him? He doesn't know. He had not broken the Code, not truly. He has not acted on his feelings for Padme. So, what, then?

As always, Anakin doesn't have an answer.

When they return to the Temple for the first time in months, Anakin goes straight to his quarters to rest and recover from the battle. But first, he unclips Dooku's lightsaber from his belt. If Obi-Wan noticed it there, he said nothing, and nor did anyone else. The grip is cool in his hands, and the kyber crystal within it cries a distressed, mournful tune, one that Anakin almost wishes he could soothe away. It – somehow, it still feels like Dooku, even though he's dead.

He knows he has no right to keep it. He should give it over to the Council when he reports to them, and they will deal with it as they deal with every lightsaber; undoubtedly, they will destroy it, which makes sense as it belonged to Dooku. But somehow, Anakin feels... entranced almost by the pull of it, and the darkness in the kyber resonates with the dark, bitterness of his guilt. Inhaling slowly, he pushes the ignition, and the red blade hisses to life, illuminating his face and the room with an almost eerie red glow.

When Anakin finally leaves for the debriefing, the lightsaber remains behind.

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