It was a nice, sunny day today at the Toshineko Army HQ. Toshineko's agents, Ookami, Kitsune, Haena, Itachi and Sharpwolf walked in the hall to where it said, "Toshineko's office". They've been summoned there as they knew it was something important.
This was why the agents were dressed in their elegant suit, with the male agents having black suit and red tie, and Sharpwolf wearing a black suit with a black trouser, as if they were working for a business instead of an army, though Kitsune figured that they made them look like they were bureaucrats. No matter. They had to get ready for urgent news.
After Ookami knocked politely, Toshineko told them they could come in. So they did. They all lined up and saluted to Toshineko while he slumped back on his chair, his feet lying on his mahogany desk in his opulent office. He grinned at the agents showing respect towards him.
"You had summoned us, sir?" Agent Haena asked.
"Yes," Toshineko said, nodding. "I have."
"What are your orders, general?" Agent Ookami said before Toshineko put his feet down and stood.
"You will help me create a ritual, my fellow agents," Toshineko said, his evil grin showing. The agents looked at him baffled.
"A… ritual, sir?" Itachi asked. "Oh no… Are we gonna summon a demon, sir?"
"No," Toshineko said, shaking his head. "Nothing like tha-"
"Because I swear to Arceus, if we have to summon a frog demon to aid us in our quest for world domination, heads will roll."
"I don't think we'll be doing that, Itachi," Kitsune said. "Unless of course… you don't mind if a demon were to betray us in the end, like humans usually do," he continued, grinning. Itachi rolled back his eyes in response.
"Don't worry, guys, we won't do any of that. Instead, we'll be creating a ritual that will summon… evil masterminds from all over the multiverse."
"Evil masterminds, general?" Haena said. "For what purpose?"
"I am glad you asked, Agent Haena. For you see, I seek to create an alliance that will help us plan on how to conquer this world. With our combined intellects, we will become invincible. We can share our intelligence, powers, schemes, masterplans…"
"And novels!" Itachi said, smiling, earning him a shocked expression from everyone.
"Uuuuuuh… Well, I suppose so," Toshineko replied, rolling his eyes. "But, we'll also be sharing backup plans and how to operate behind the shadows."
"Are you sure this would work, general?" Sharpwolf asked, smiling deviously.
"Pretty sure," Toshineko said, nodding. "Last time someone did it, he managed to gain a lot of friends and allies and they shared great tips on how to conquer the multiverse."
"How do you know that, sir?" Itachi asked.
"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to explain. You will find out about it on these YouTube videos on Council of Villains," Toshineko said, walking to the door. "Now, come, fellow agents, we've got work to do."
"Sir, yes, sir!" the agents all responded at the same time before following their leader.
After they performed their ritual, they were met with a void. Or, a rather bright void, with a light that shone as if it was competing with the sun in a desperate race on who would brighten up the room the most. It also had a lot more space. In fact, they could pretty much walk anywhere and not encounter a wall… if there even were one in the void anyway.
The agents were astonished. "Wow," said Agent Itachi. "This place is huge! We could build all sorts of things in there! Tanks, military manuals, arcades and karaoke machines. Yeah… that would be nice!"
"Yeah, that's cool, Itachi," Toshineko said, annoyed. "but you see, the last time I allowed you to do that, my army was almost heading towards bankruptcy."
"Oh, come on, sir," Agent Itachi said, waving his hand. "I promise it won't be that bad."
"I find that hard to believe, Itachi," said Agent Haena. "considering that I found a collection of thousands of novels in your office and in your bedroom."
Agent Itachi shrugged. "It was only a small percentage."
"You also build hundreds of libraries on my property," Agent Ookami said, glaring at Itachi.
"That was just one time! Besides, I can pay for them with my own wallet."
"Oh really? What about that time you spent it on gambling?" Kitsune said. Itachi opened his mouth to say something, but fell silent. Kitsune grinned deviously. "You sly weasel. You thought you could gamble away your life without the general's permission?"
"Oh, shut up, Kitsune!"
"Alright, guys, knock it off," Toshineko ordered. "We'll be bantering later." Toshineko's ears flickered when he heard footsteps from behind. He turned to see that someone was coming. "Oh, look guys, the first mastermind is here. Act orderly, agents."
"Yes, sir!" they all said, positioning their legs together and their hands behind their backs like disciplined soldiers. That act didn't last long when they saw that it was… a human? And not just any human, but a very tall one. He had a wide chest, broad shoulders, muscular arms and legs, and a thick neck. He had pale skin and nape-length black hair, which was neatly slicked back.
The long-stitched scar at the bridge of his nose that stretched across his face as well as a large hook made from a tough gold alloy in place of his left hand made Toshineko deduce that he must have been in some sea battle as a pirate, though the lack of eyepatches, and hat made this human quite different from the usual pirate.
His black eyes were deep-set and heavy-lidded and his thin eyebrows drew upward in the middle, giving Toshineko the impression that he was not the human who would trust anybody. Understandable, considering that Toshineko didn't trust humans himself either. Though, he might had to put that aside, for this human might be a powerful ally.
Although, he couldn't help but notice his bright orange, black-striped button-up vest over a long-sleeve peach shirt, along with a blue scarf, dark brown suit pants, polished black shoes with gold buckles, as well as that ugly-looking furcoat behind his back.
It made Toshineko think that he was some sort of pirate mafia mastermind.
"Where in the hell is this place?" the human said in a deep, relaxed voice, though his expression told otherwise as he looked around. "I swear, if this is another one of Nico Robin's pitiful assassination attempts, I'll stab her through her back."
"Holy mother of Arceus!" said Itachi. "Is that a human?"
"Sure looks like one," Sharpwolf said, looking enamored with the human's appearance. "But he does look so… elegantly dressed. Perhaps he and I could have some fun together?" Ookami sighed at Sharpwolf's simping.
"Not this again, Sharpwolf," Ookami replied. "Keep the flirting to yourself."
Sharpwolf pouted. "Oh, don't be such a party pooper, Ookami."
"You there!" the human said, pointing at everyone with his hook. "Who are you? And where am I? Answer me now, or be stabbed through the heart."
"You should learn some respect if you value your life," Kitsune said, staring at the human with his own deep-set and half-lidded eyes. "Don't you know who you're talking to?"
"We'll have you know," Ookami said, crossing his arms. "that this is our leader you're speaking to. So I suggest you choose your words wisely."
"Yeah, dear," Sharpwolf said, her tone flirtatious. "Perhaps if you just bow down and apologize, we'll forget all about it. What do you say?"
"I will not be dictated to," the human said, his tone more aggressive. "and I will not be threatened. Especially by a bunch of talking animals."
"Very well then," Itachi said, drawing out his shotgun from his back and aiming it at the tall human. "I suppose if we have to put you in your place by force, so be it."
The human scoffed at the weasel's pathetic attempt at gaining dominance. "Your weapons are useless. No matter how many you have, you will never ever-" Itachi interrupted the human by shooting at his head, making it explode, but not with blood, but with… sand?
Itachi didn't seem to care, though. "Boom! Headshot!"
Toshineko sighed. Well, that escalated quickly… The agents were shocked when they see that the human's head was reformed by sand, as if nothing happened to it.
"What in the-? What is this sorcery?" Ookami exclaimed. "How did you recover from that shot that easily?"
The human grinned condescendingly. "Is that the best you've got? Your bullets hurt like mosquito bites."
"Your words are foolish!" Itachi said, grandly. "Soon, you won't be able to recover like that when we're done with you!"
"Heh. Give it up, rookies," the human said, summoning a sand tornado in his right hand. "you are no match for my sand abilities."
"Be careful, guys," Haena said, preparing to draw his knife. "I think he might be a Pokemon in disguise."
"No," Ookami said, shaking his head. "I think he may be a human with weird powers in another world." He then pulled out his handgun. "Men, be on your guard!"
"You got it, Ookami," said Itachi. But before the agents could approach the human, Toshineko interrupted.
"Guys, I order you to refrain from killing our guests," Toshineko said, his voice firm. The agents put their weapons back into their pockets, but Itachi objected.
"But, sir, he threatened to kill you!"
"I don't care who threatened to kill who. I am ending this now." Itachi sighed and put his shotgun to his back.
"Yes, sir…"
They heard another footsteps. This time, it was from another human, who was a little shorter than the last. Although his skin looked older than the last, Sharpwolf and Itachi couldn't help but notice the white beard, as well as his elegant dress, with black coat, a striped tie, an orange vest, polished leather shoes as well as a black suit pants. He appeared to be reading his book before he looked to see where he was at.
"What in the world is this place?" the human said, his voice gentle and eerily calm. "I wonder if this is from the outer world I've been doing my research on."
"Oh, my, who is this distinguished gentleman?" Sharpwolf said, barely containing her excitement.
"And that… dress," said Itachi. "The last time someone dressed like that was from the War of 1888, during the year when Audian and Maekyonese forces fought each other in the sea."
"If I were to guess," Haena said, stroking his chin. "he might be a teacher at some old university."
"You think he might have dressed up for an audition?" Ookami asked.
"Excuse me, gentlemen," the human said, holding his book with his right hand. "would you be so kind as to tell me where I am? I've got important things as well as… plans to get back to."
"Well, well, well," the taller human said. "What do we have here? A math professor at a prestigious university. Have you come to lecture us here?"
The shorter human studied the other human as well as his appearance. "Well, I must say, you are quite the most elegantly dressed pirate I have ever seen. Usually, pirates had a much less… distinguished outfit in their time of piracy. The fact that you have such an expensive suit, neatly slicked back hair, as well as that… golden hook suggests to me that you're a CEO of a company. Mostly a front company to cover his tracks to lead a possibly… large criminal organization."
The taller human scoffed. "So, are we competing? Or, do you like to read minds?"
"And you gentlemen," the shorter human said, pointing at Toshineko and his agents. "you are all members of a rather large paramilitary organization that operates behind the shadows after many battles. Possibly the one that has a huge number of agents at his disposal."
Toshineko and his agents were legitimately impressed by the human's deduction.
"Uh, indeed we are," Haena said. "How did you know?"
"Quite simple, really," the shorter human said, approaching them as he studied their clothing. "Take this cat, for example, his military outfit as well as that cape he wore suggested fear and grandiosity that portrays his power-hungry nature. The cat emblems at the top of your hat as well as on your belt show your willingness to change the nature of who you are. It might have been from some… trauma that you suffered. Not to mention, your facial expression indicates to me that you have a lack of trust in the human race that must have resulted from being taken advantage of by… several of them."
Toshineko smirked at the human. "Impressive deduction, human. And you must be-"
"Wait, wait, wait, hold on," Itachi said, shaking his hands. "elegantly dressed, is a math professor and has a great deduction? I have read enough novels to figure out who you are. Are you, by any chance, Professor James Moriarty?" he asked, smiling like an excited fanboy.
The human smiled in response. "I see that my renown hasn't diminished, even from other worlds. Yes, I am indeed Professor James Moriarty. In case you're asking, no, I don't want autographs, thank you."
"It's really him! You're looking as stylish and imposing as ever, Mr. Moriarty!" Itachi said.
"And who might you be, tall human?" Ookami asked, and the taller human scoffed in response.
"So, judging by your looks, I assume you've never heard of me. Very well. I am Sir Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, the leader of Baroque Works. The one who lives by his codename, 'Mr. 0'"
"Mr. 0, huh? Hmmm…" Itachi said, stroking his chin. "I think I remember a villain who uses codenames like that. Who was that, Sharpwolf?"
"Uuum… Ernst Stavro Blofeld?"
"No, that's not it."
"Guys, I believe you have some explaining to do," James Moriarty said, his voice, though still calm, was more firm.
Understanding the situation, Toshineko nodded. "Right. Sorry about that. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Toshineko Hirozaki, the leader of the paramilitary organization, the Toshineko Army. And these are my loyal agents. Ookami, Haena, Itachi, Kitsune and Sharpwolf, the femme fatale of the group."
Sharpwolf shook and her tail lashed as she sighed. "Oh, stop it, sir, you're making me wet." Ookami glared at her and gave her a blow to her stomach with his elbow in response, making her pout in response.
"I have summoned you two here because I seek to create a great alliance where we can scheme to conquer the world. We can share masterplans, secrets, schemes, powers…"
"And the novels, don't forget the novels!" Itachi said.
"Not now, Itachi," Ookami said, his tone more annoyed. Moriarty and Crocodile thought about it for a bit.
"Hmmm… So, is it like… the Council of Schemers?" Moriarty asked.
"More like a… Council of Evil Masterminds," Toshineko said, smiling.
"Hmmm… Well, my mind has been set on taking over Arabasta," Crocodile said. "but this sounds… interesting indeed. I just have one question: why should I trust any of you?" he said, pointing his golden hook at everyone.
"Calm yourself, Mr. Crocodile," Toshineko said, keeping his composure, despite his agents flinching. "I know that we have our differences and that we're from a different world, but our goals align. Alone, we are formidable. But together, we'll be unstoppable. Join us, and my world will lie at your feet."
Crocodile thought about it as he closed his eyes. He grabbed his cigar from his pocket, put it in his mouth, and lit it to make him grounded in his thinking. "Well… I guess a big alliance of masterminds is not such a bad idea."
"That's good to hear, Mr. Crocodile," Toshineko said, grinning more. "Perhaps you should also tell us about your sand tricks."
"Yeah. How'd you do that?" Ookami asked. "Have you learned it from a sand-type Pokemon like Sandshrew?"
"Dunsparce?" said Haena.
"A Hippowdon?" said Sharpwolf.
"Have you been blessed by the sons of Lucario in Egypt?" Itachi said, earning him a bunch of baffled looks.
"... Seriously, Itachi?" said Kitsune.
"What?" Itachi said, shrugging.
"You just had to say something stupid, do you?" Sharpwolf said, rubbing her forehead.
"Uuuh… No. I didn't learn it from some Poh key mon, whatever that is," Crocodile said, rolling his eyes. "I am a Logia-type user of the Devil Fruit called the Suna Suna no Mi."
"Devil Fruit?" Haena asked. "Do those fruits come from the devil himself? Hmmm… I guess they might have tempted you with promises of great power."
"Well, no. They're just supernatural fruits that were scattered throughout the world. In my world, people who eat them gain a unique ability. For example, I can create, control and transform my body into sand, and I can summon sandstorms and create quicksands. Not only that, the sand reforms my body after being attacked."
Itachi widened his eyes. "Wow… So that's why my shotgun had no effect."
"But that's not all. I can also absorb all the moisture from anything I touch, living or otherwise."
"Hmmm… Interesting," Moriarty commented, stroking his beard. "That must have made you invincible. What a great power you have."
Crocodile sighed as he closed his eyes. "Well, it's not always great. You see, these Devil Fruits were said to have been cursed by a sea god. Once you eat them, your body becomes weak to water, especially in the ocean, where you'll be unable to swim."
"Damn," said Ookami. "So, does that mean you haven't showered at all?"
"Not really." Toshineko and the others cringed when they heard that.
"That is very unsanitary, Mr. Crocodile," Moriarty said. "Next thing you're going to tell me is that you never brush your teeth."
Crocodile scoffed in response. "The lack of hygiene is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Besides, I think the lack of hygiene gives out more of that fresh evil scent," he said, smiling proudly.
"Well, I would feel disguised by it," said Sharpwolf before she smiled. "But I wouldn't mind. Perhaps we can have some fun in bed?"
Crocodile glared at her while pointing his hook at her. "Do you want to die?" Sharpwolf yelped and laughed nervously.
"I-I was just joking, sir. I didn't actually want to do that."
"That's what I thought."
"Well, nevertheless," Toshineko said. "I believe you could be a great ally to us. I'm sure there are many tips that we can share."
Crocodile sighed and nodded. "Yes." He then grinned wider. "Perhaps we could share some novels as well."
"Sure thing," Toshineko said, shrugging. "Perhaps some military novels?"
Itachi smiled while everyone looked baffled. "Uuuuuh… what?" said Ookami.
"Well, I do happen to have a hobby of reading," Moriarty said. "Anybody a fan of detective novels?"
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me right now…" Kitsune said, sighing.
"I am!" Itachi said. "You like reading Sherlock Holmes novels?"
"Well, I prefer something else, but I do like to read those novels to study Holmes' thinking."
"Oh?" Crocodile said, smiling. "Then, perhaps some novels about Princess Vivi and her Arabasta Kingdom would be nice. Ku ah ah ah ah."
Itachi looked at Crocodile with a raised eyebrow. "Uuuh, what was that?"
"What was what?" Crocodile said, frowning.
"That laugh."
"What laugh?"
"When you said, 'Ah ah ah ah' Like that?"
"Oh, you mean my Crocodile laugh. It's just how I laugh. You'll get used to it."
"Yeah, Itachi," Kitsune said, grinning. "laughter is just how we operate. These two humans are just living their nature to the fullest. Keh heh heh heh heh."
"Oh, so it's your turn to join the strange laugh community, Kitsune?" Itachi asked.
"I don't know what your problem is, Itachi," Haena said. "We Hyenastans laugh in our unique way."
"Really?" Crocodile asked. "How do you laugh?"
"Like this," Haena said, before giving out a primal hyena laugh, which made everyone else, except Toshineko and Crocodile, uneasy.
"Hmm… Nice. Perhaps we have something in common after all," Crocodile said before laughing in his own style again.
"What about you, Moriarity? How do you laugh?" Haena asked.
"Well… I guess… in a normal way. Not like what you guys did, though."
"You'll get used to it eventually. Nice hook, by the way," Toshineko said, pointing at Crocodile's gold hook. Crocodile smiled.
"Thank you. Beautiful, isn't it?"
"Do they come in smaller sizes?" Itachi asked. "I would love to have a golden hook myself. Especially if I dress up as a pirate captain."
"Well, it's not cheap to build a golden hook, but I can ask my hook guy."
"That would be great!"
"So, Itachi, what kind of novels do you recommend for these two?" Toshineko asked.
"Hmm, well, I do have some short stories that feature an evil genius protagonist. But I recommend The Silence of the Lambs. It has Hannibal Lecter, who is considered to be…"
Ookami sighed and rolled back his eyes. "Great… This might take a while," he said, before turning towards the readers. "Nevertheless, I believe this will be the end of today's episode, readers. If you like this episode, please give it a fave, or follow this channel, where you can find new episodes like this every single week. See you soon. And as always… for the glory of the Toshineko Army."