Toshineko and the others were discussing their plans to conquer his world. "Good plan, Crocodile," Toshineko said, grinning. "I'm still not one hundred percent sure how this Pluton works, but, if it is as mighty as you say it is, our enemies at the naval force stand no chance."
Crocodile chuckled evilly. "I'm glad you agree, Toshi."
Moriarty stroked his beard. "I would start by getting rid of certain CEOs of those companies. We make them look like heart attacks and other natural causes. Only then will I gain full control of the supply and I'll create the demand for all of us."
Toshineko smirked. The bond thing with humans, especially evil masterminds, was getting more and more interesting. "Would that include the supply for my army, Moriarty?"
"Yes, Toshineko, my agents from Europe will gladly assist you with infiltration."
"And what about your Baroque Works agents, Crocodile?" Toshineko said. "Can we count on those?"
"Sure. They're all really capable agents, and they'll do what they can to help out your army. We'll be more powerful than even the World Government!"
"Excellent! And you, Hans? Can we count on your men?" They all turned to see that Hans was snoring… quite loudly. It pissed off everyone, especially Toshineko.
"Hans!" They all said at the same time, startling him.
"Oh, scheisse! Wha-?" Hans groaned as he rubbed his face.
"Hans, seriously?" Toshineko said. "Are we really boring you that much?"
"I knew you shouldn't have demanded they'd discuss their plans that early, Ookami," Kitsune said.
"Oh, shut up, Kitsune."
"Hans, if we're really boring you with our speech, then you should ask us to keep our conversations a little shorter," Moriarty said.
"No, no, it's not that," Hans said, showing everyone the novel, Nothing Lasts Forever. "It's this book Itachi gave me. I've tried to read it, and so far, it was a bore. The main character is very uninteresting, the main villains are a bunch of walking stereotypes, and many of their members are female, as if the author had some bias against them. Seriously, who the hell does this Roderick Thorp guy think he is?"
Everyone turned toward Itachi, shocked, though Itachi ignored their looks. "Ok, first of all, how dare you criticize such a novel? It's the inspiration for Die Hard! And secondly, you shouldn't have fallen asleep from reading that. You could've learned much more from it."
"You call this a novel?" Hans said. "More like a waste of everyone's time."
"Itachi!" Ookami said, letting out his dramatic drill sergeant tone. "You dare poison his mind with your obsession with novels? Shame on you! We should have you court-martialed!"
"What?" Itachi said, his tone defensive. "Reading is good for the mind! Plus, it helps you plan much better. It gives you focus on how the villain's mind works and stuff."
"Itachi," Toshineko said, his tone firm. "I'll say this one time and one time only: From now on, you will not share novels with anyone without my permission. Is that clear?"
Itachi sighed deeply and saluted. "Yes, sir," he said as if he was scolded when he was 10 years old.
"Anyway, Hans, can we count on your men for our master plan to work?" Toshineko asked.
"Oh, right. Well-" Toshineko and Haena's ears perked when they heard footsteps coming from their right.
"Wait… do you hear that?" Haena said before everyone turned to see that there was yet another human that entered. This time, it was a female human, wearing a red, uniform suit that reminded Toshineko and Moriarty of military leaders that were present in Ancient China, with shoulder pads a gold-lined top, and a fire emblem on her chest. The glare she had screamed the words 'evil' and 'devilish', two qualities that Toshineko could use in his council.
"Who dares summon me," she said, her tone commanding attention and respect. "the great princess of the Fire Nation?"
Sharpwolf was the only one baffled. "Is that… a female?"
Kitsune smirked at her. "Looks like your luck ran out, Sharpwolf."
Sharpwolf rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Shut up, Kitsune."
The female human looked around and saw everyone present. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? You got 5 seconds to explain yourselves before you all get consumed by my flames of wrath."
"Hmm, a bit overdramatic, don't you think?" said Hans.
"Silence!" The human said, flames bursting out from her hands. Literally. Everyone, except Crocodile, flinched by that display.
"Holy shit!" Itachi said. "Careful, guys, she has learned from a Charizard!"
"Itachi, a Charizard wouldn't even summon flames, so I suggest you keep that dumb mouth shut if we're going to survive!" Ookami said.
Crocodile gave her a smug look. "Oi, oi, you think you can just come in here and threaten a bunch of strangers you don't even know?" He opened his lighter and lit his cigar. "My god… have some common sense."
"You should know your place," the human said. "Don't you know who I am?"
"... Should we?"
She scoffed and summoned her flame from her right hand. "Very well. I suppose I should enroll you all in my course on how to respect your superiors. I'm sure you'll find it quite intensive."
"Ha!" Crocodile said, summoning his sand tornado. "Your fire abilities are nothing compared to my sand powers."
She widened her eyes and her flames disappeared. "What the…? What is this power? Are you some kind of sandbender?"
Moriarty stood between them. "Alright, alright, guys, please. This is no way to treat our guests. We should be better than this."
"Yeah, Croc," Itachi said. "Why do you have to be so aggressive to every newcomer?"
"Oh, you are the one to talk, Itachi." Crocodile blew a puff of smoke as his sand tornado disappeared. "You tried to shoot me with a shotgun the first time we met."
"... Touche."
"Silence!" the female human snapped. "I'll give you one last chance to speak before I'll turn you all into ashes. So choose your words wisely."
Toshineko bowed to her, dramatically, which made Haena raise his eyebrow. Could that cat be apologizing to her for something that wasn't his fault? "There is no need for violence, Your Highness," he said, his tone calm and polite. "If you'll allow, I'll explain everything."
She crossed her arms, still keeping her guard up. "Very well. Explain."
"My name is Toshineko Hirozaki. These are my fellow agents," he said, introducing his agents' names. "This is Sir Crocodile, Professor James Moriarty, and Hans Gruber."
"We are the Council of Evil Masterminds trying to collaborate with Toshineko on how to conquer his world," Moriarty explained.
"And what do we owe the great pleasure of meeting, princess?"
She gave everyone her smug smirk as her hands summoned flames. "I am Azula, the daughter of the Supreme Ruler of the Fire Nation, Ozai, the heir to the throne and a master firebender."
"Agents, show her some respect," Toshineko ordered. At the same time, Haena saluted her while tilting his head up, which struck Azula as odd, while everyone else bowed down to her.
"A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness," Haena said.
"It is nice to see that someone has learned their place," Azula said, her tone condescending. "You should learn a thing or two from those guys, Croc."
"I don't take orders from anyone. Especially from an arrogant bitch like you."
Azula rolled her eyes while Moriarty and Toshineko looked at Crocodile scoldingly.
"Oh, please. People who speak to me like that don't live long. You might want to consider that course I mentioned. Trust me, you'll need it."
Crocodile growled as his patience with her grew thin. "You are treading on dangerous grounds, little girl!"
"Uh, Crocodile?" Toshineko said.
"If you can't already tell, I'm rolling my eyes at you," Azula said, doing exactly that.
"Crocodile, please, enough of the-" Moriarty said.
"What? You think I won't stab little girls like you? I have stabbed a 17-year-old boy through his stomach, and even left him to sink in my quicksand! And I can suck all of the water from your body. Do. Not. Test. Me!"
Kitsune chuckled as he watched. This was getting really interesting for him.
Azula rolled her eyes and smirked at Crocodile's pathetically empty threat. "Is that really the best-?"
"Alright, guys, that is enough!" Ookami said. His tone was so loud and aggressive that it startled everyone. "We are supposed to be professionals, and this is not how we act! We are adults, not squabbling children! Is that understood?"
Azula glared at the wolf, trying to come up with a comeback, but to her embarrassment, she backed down. "Yes."
"Ugh… fine…" Crocodile sighed.
"Wow, Ookami, I didn't know you had it in you," Moriarty said, still recovering from the shock.
"I have learned that from my drill sergeants," Ookami said, shrugging.
"So, what is this ridiculous thing you called a uniform?" Azula said, rolling her eyes at Toshineko, who stood up and looked confused.
"I'm sorry?"
"Just look at you. Is this what you call an outfit for a general? You look more laughable than my brother as if he was on a trip."
Everyone, especially Toshineko, was taken aback by what she said. They didn't expect such a roast, but Toshineko played along. "Wow! You got me there, princess," he said, giving her a friendly smile. "You have beaten me at my own game."
"Oh, don't flatter yourself, kitten," Azula said, rolling her eyes. "You were never a player to begin with."
"Damn," Moriarty said. "Who allowed this young lady to be this savage?"
Kitsune smiled and chuckled. "I like this one. So evil, cunning, and… manipulative. Just like how humans should be."
"Silence your tongue, squirrel fox," Azula said, her eyebrows narrowing at him. "Flattery will get you nowhere."
Kitsune was more baffled than frightened. "Wha-? A squirrel fox? What is that?"
Azula's threatening demeanor disappeared. "Or, are you perhaps a… tiger fox?"
"Huh?" Kitsune said, cocking his head.
"Fox deer?"
"A-a fox what? What foolishness do you speak of, lady? I'm just a fox."
"Oh… Huh. What about you?" she said, pointing at Sharpwolf.
"I'm just a wolf as well."
"And you?"
"Just a hyena. Or Hyeanstan, if you will," Haena said.
"You?"
"Also a wolf," Ookami said.
"Just a weasel," Itachi said.
"I'm also just a cat, Your Highness," Toshineko said.
"Wait a minute. So, none of you are a hybrid of two animal species? How is that possible?"
"I was a little confused as well," Crocodile said. "I honestly thought Toshi was a panther cat."
Toshineko rolled his eyes at Crocodile. "My skin isn't black, Croc."
"So, what exactly is the purpose of this meeting?" Azula asked.
"I am glad you asked," Hans said. "For you see, we were discussing our plans on how to conquer Toshineko's world. Well, at least I was going to before Itachi bored me to death."
"Are you still salty about that novel, Hans?" Itachi said as if he was offended.
"No, not really. It's just that your novel makes me fall asleep faster than those dreadful sleeping pills I took."
Azula scoffed. "You call that a roast, Hans? This is how you do it. Itachi, you might want to reconsider your life if you think anybody would want to read your novel."
Everyone went "Ooooh…" at the shocked Itachi. "Burn!" Kitsune said.
"Shut up, Kitsune!"
Toshineko laughed. "You have an amazing skill at roasting people, princess. Not just with your flames, but your words as well."
"Speaking of which, how'd you do that? Have you learned it from a Fire-type Pokemon?" Itachi asked.
"Have you practiced ancient martial arts?" Moriarty asked.
"Have you eaten the Fire Devil Fruit?" Crocodile asked.
The words 'Pokemon' and 'Fire Devil Fruit' greatly confused Azula. "Uuuh, no. I don't even know what those are. I am a firebender."
"A firebender?" said Toshineko.
"Yes. You see, in my world, people have the ability to control, or 'bend' if you will, one of the four elements. Fire, Water, Air, and Earth. And as you can clearly see, my element is fire, the superior one. One with unyielding power and destruction."
"That would sound great for lighting my cigar," Crocodile said.
"Or my cigarette," Kitsune said.
"And what about you, Toshineko? Do you have any bending abilities? Judging by that outfit, you're some kind of Earthbender, right?"
"Well, actually, no, Your Highness. I am an Aura Guardian… well, used to be anyway."
Everyone except his agents looked at him with confusion. "Hold on, Toshineko," Hans said. "You never told us that."
"Well, you see, guys, I wasn't always this evil dictator you know today. I was trained by my former human Lauu. The country of Dokumorasho was looking for an Aura Guardian, the one who possessed great intellect and the power of aura. Lauu chose me as his apprentice, and so, he taught me to sense and manipulate aura. My aura contained all sorts of elements, like earth, fire, ice, and water."
"Really? So, like an Avatar?" Azula asked.
"Avatar?"
"Yes, the one who possessed the power of all four elements. My father, Ozai, told me how overpowered he is."
"I agree," Itachi said, nodding. "That's like if a Charizard were to meet a Golem, then merged together with a Beartic and a Squirtle to become an elemental Pokemon god or something!"
His response made everyone look at him as if he were high on drugs. "What the hell are you talking about?" Moriarty asked.
"Oh, you know, Pokemon. They're powerful like that."
"Anyway, where was I?" Toshineko said. "Oh, yeah. He also taught me psychology, using it to understand people's needs and behaviors so that I could both help them and watch out for any toxic ones out there. He used to treat me like I was his son. My naivety got the better of me, and when I was about to sacrifice myself to save the Flower of Beginning from collapsing, he instead banished me to that mystical wooden staff of his, leaving me isolated there for 5 years."
"Oh, damn…" Hans said as everyone looked at him with sympathy. "I'm… so sorry about that."
Toshineko smiled. "Nah, don't be. It was my fault I was so trusting."
"Well, I'm glad I had a much better father," Azula said, her grin more smug. "He always treated me well, and was nice enough to allow me to roast a couple of chefs and ex-boyfriends with my flames."
"You did what, now?" Sharpwolf said.
"They tried to poison me with their cold soup. So, I left them a reminder of their defiance on their faces."
"Damn," Crocodile said, genuinely shocked. "Sounds like she's a spoiled brat."
"I don't think that kind of parenting is healthy," Moriarty said.
"Well, I don't really mind it," Hans said, smiling at Azula. "I find it quite attractive."
"Attractive?" Azula said, glaring at Hans.
"Yeah. I have a thing for 'bad girls' myself."
"I am 14, you disgusting pedofork! And if you dare flirt with me again, I'll make you into an overcooked marshmallow."
"That was appalling, Hans," Sharpwolf said, crossing her arms. "I may be a pervert, but I do not support flirting with minors!"
"Give me a break, guys," Hans said, raising his hands. "I didn't know she was underage."
"We were wondering if you would like to join us, princess," Toshineko said. "We could use your great intellect and your mastery of tactics and strategy to conquer my world. We might even share our powers with you and your father. What do you say?"
"Share our powers?" Crocodile said, his tone displeased.
Azula thought about it. "Well, I was focused on conquering my world, but now that I think about it, that's not such a bad idea. I'll put in a good word with my father, and we'll start discussing our plans."
"Excellent! We're honored to have you join us, Princess Azula," Toshineko said, bowing to her again.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Toshi," Crocodile said, glaring at him. "I don't like being betrayed."
"Calm yourself, Crocodile, I have a plan. I always do."
"Would you care for some tea or coffee?" Moriarty asked.
"I've never heard of coffee," Azula asked. She pointed her fingers at him and summoned a small fire from her fingertips. "But I do hope this tea will be good, for your sake. I'm not a patient woman."
Moriarty shook and raised his hands. "A-as you wish, Your Highness!"
Toshineko smiled while Kitsune chuckled. "Impressive, human," Kitsune said, trying to light his cigarette.
"You should address me with 'Princess' or 'Your Highness," Azula threatened.
"Excuse you?"
"Kitsune, just do as she tells you to do," Toshineko said, rolling his eyes back in annoyance.
Kitsune sighed and shook his head. "My apologies, Your Highness."
"So, princess, what were your plans before you entered? Care to share them with us?" Toshineko asked.
Azula chuckled. "Very well. I suppose I should explain to you my brilliance. I could give many examples, but I'll give you my very best. Me and my friends, Mai and Ty Lee, disguised ourselves as Kyoshi warriors to infiltrate the Earth Kingdom to take over the capital city of Ba Sing Se. I have used Long Feng as my pawn to control his puppet king, Kuei, and to give me the authority to lead the Earth Kingdom army so that I can orchestrate a coup of the 52nd Earth King to decapitate their political and military leadership. I even used the arrest of Long Feng to make it look like the Earth King and the Council of Five do not trust the Dai Li. And once that was done, the Earth Kingdom was ours for the taking."
Toshineko smiled as he listened to her plan. He was genuinely impressed by her strategy, being able to win a war against the Earth Kingdom without doing the fighting, the supreme art of war. Everyone else, while not as impressed as Toshineko was, were surprised nonetheless.
"Wow… That is quite impressive, Princess Azula!" Moriarty said. "The fact that you did all of that at just 14 years old is nothing sort of amazing."
"It was easy. Too easy, in fact," Azula said, letting herself grin smugly once more. "The Earth Kingdom were a bunch of naive fools."
"Nevertheless, it was an ingenious plan you had," Haena said, smiling. "I had an enemy who tried to orchestrate the same thing in my country of Hyenastan."
"Oh, really? I guess imitation is the best form of flattery."
"Indeed. Unfortunately for them, we actually figured out their plans before they could carry them out. These Dragon Hunters underestimated the ways of the Hyenastan."
Azula got more confused. "Wait, hold on. Dragon Hunters?"
"Yes, Your Highness. In my world, dragons were often persecuted and sought refuge in our country, and I was a general who helped protect them. The Dragon Hunters were a bunch of assassins who had a hatred for all of the dragon species. And so, when we refused to hand them over to them, they were quite displeased and attempted to wipe us out."
"How did you find out about the coup?" Hans asked.
"It was simple. When we noticed that one of those humans, disguised as our commander, bragged about killing dragons and trying to make an excuse about it, that was when we knew something was wrong and we trusted our instincts."
"Ha! What a fool he was," Azula said.
"Indeed. One of them tried to bribe me with a cup of tea and a pack of diamonds… that were later turned out to be plushie toys."
"Wait, but I'm confused, why did you quit the Hyenastan army?" Crocodile asked.
"General Toshineko and I had a duel. I was the one who challenged him to a battle that would decide each other's freedom. If he were to win against me, I would work for him for life. But if he were to lose, he would have to surrender himself to the authorities and send himself to the pit, where he'll meet a fate worse than death. Needless to say, he was a worthy opponent, and I lost, and I ended up joining the ranks of the Toshineko Army."
"Hmmm… Interesting," Azula said, grinning deviously.
"Hold on, are you telling me it is possible to turn someone like Haena to your side?" Hans said.
"Well, yeah. It worked for me when I did the same thing to Jack so I could orchestrate the civil unrest in Carmonia," Toshineko said.
"Big deal," Crocodile scoffed. "I have orchestrated a civil war in Alabasta."
"So you guys have tried to imitate me, huh?" Azula said.
"Well, you could say that it was actually a coincidence, Your Highness," Toshineko said. "Because I once planned a similar plan to yours to destabilize the country of Penguinstan with great success."
"Oh, is that so? So you orchestrated a coup, manipulated Jack, and also tried to take over the world?" Azula and Toshineko shared the same evil grins. Azula could already tell that there was a lot he and she had in common. "This could be a great alliance after all."
"Pfft, sure it would," Crocodile said, rolling his eyes.
"Wow, sir," Sharpwolf said. "I didn't know how you managed to gain her respect that quickly, but I'm glad you did!"
Toshineko chuckled. "Oh, no need for flattery, Sharpwolf. After all, I have a very bad sense of military fashion and I have no doubt people will point out how pathetic I look." Toshineko and Azula laughed.
"Great… I have a feeling these two will stab me in the back," Crocodile sighed. "But I'm used to it."
"Have a little bit of faith in them, Crocodile," Moriarty said, his tone sympathetic. "Friendship takes time. Just like masterpieces."
"Yeah… so is earning my trust."
"Anyway, I guess with this, we will end today's episode," Moriarty said to the readers. "If you like this episode, please follow this channel where you can find new episodes like these every single week. Feel free to suggest a villain you want to appear in the next episode in the comments or reviews. See you soon, and, for Toshineko, for the glory of the Toshineko Army."