It's Thursday so that means update day! Thank you as always to Hollie and enjoy the resolution of the drama from the last chapter!
Callum's face drained of colour at the sight of so much blood. Jess saw his face and immediately started panicking.
"Callum? What, what is it? Why are you looking like that?" she asked quickly, breathing heavily through the pain, her hands still clutched to her stomach. Callum came to at the sound of her voice, getting off the bed and running to the door, yanking it open, as the monitor recording the baby's heartbeat started to alarm, signalling an issue.
"Help! I need help in here! Please! My wife!" he shouted up the corridor. Two midwives came running, one heading off to get Dr Mathieson while the other ran into Jess' room.
"What happened?" the midwife asked.
"I don't know, she was fine and then she just pitched forward. She thought her waters broke, but she's bleeding." Callum explained hurriedly.
"Will someone tell me what is happening?" Jess begged, nearly in tears, trying to breathe through the pain.
"Mrs Stone, I think your placenta may have abrupted. I'm going to pull the emergency bell, lots of people are going to run in, but they're all here to help." the midwife answered, slipping the oxygen mask over Jess' pale face as she pulled a red alarm behind the bed. "I need you to lay on your left side for me, the baby isn't very happy." Jess turned slowly to her side just as the doctor ran in, panic rising in her. Dr Mathieson immediately checked the monitors.
"Baby is in distress. What happened?" she asked the midwife, who relayed what Callum had told her and her preliminary diagnosis. "I agree, placental abruption by the looks of it. Ok Jess, we need to get you into the theatre right now."
"Is my baby ok? Please just let my baby be ok." Jess cried, shaking, reaching out for Callum around the doctor. He took her outstretched hand, clutching it tightly while rubbing his thumb in soothing circles on the back of her hand.
"We need to get your baby out now, we think your placenta has come away which means he's not getting oxygen and you're bleeding. You could both die if we don't move now." the doctor said sternly, wanting to get across to Jess the enormity of the situation.
"Jess come on darlin', I know this isn't how we imagined it, but for you and the baby, you need to do this." Callum pleaded, clasping her hands in between his as if in silent prayer.
"Can he come with me?" Jess asked quietly, breahing heavily through the pain. The doctor looked as if she were about to say no when Jess said, "If he can't come in with me then I refuse to have the caesarean."
"Yes he can come in. Mr Stone, if you follow Zoe, she'll take you to change into scrubs and get prepared. We'll prep Jess for theatre and meet you there." the doctor ordered. Callum nodded, stopping to kiss Jess tenderly on the forehead before pressing his lips to her stomach.
"Listen baby, you got to hang in there, ok? Me and mummy need you to hang in there." he whispered to her belly before turning his face up to Jess'. "And you, you stay strong; I'll see you in there. I love you so much."
"I love you too." Jess whispered as Callum left the room behind the midwife.
"Right, let's deliver your baby shall we." the doctor said with a grim smile, following as Jess' bed was wheeled out the room and towards the operating theatres.
Jess' epidural had been topped up ready for the caesarean and was nearly prepped when Callum walked in, wearing scrubs. He hurried to her side, sitting on the stool offered to him, taking Jess' shaking hand in his. Tears were dripping down her face as she stared straight ahead at the ceiling tiles.
She was thinking about when she found out about the baby, and how terrified she had been. And then when they had first seen the baby and heard the heartbeat, how the anxiety had abated a little bit and she had allowed herself to hope that maybe this time everything would be ok. She thought about all the near misses they had endured, about how strong her baby had been to get through it all with barely any injury. Surely her baby would be strong enough to get through this trial, like it had done with everything else. Callum gently wiped the tears away, placing his head next to hers, whispering memories of their first meeting, their dates, the proposal, their wedding and honeymoon, anything he could think of to transport Jess' mind out of this horrific situation and into happier times.
"Right Jess, you might feel a tugging sensation but it shouldn't hurt." the doctor said through her face mask, and then she bowed her head and set to work on saving baby Stone's life. Jess felt, as the doctor had said, a strange pulling in her stomach, but it was like an itch she couldn't scratch. She concentrated on Callum, and of seeing her baby for the first time. She watched the doctor's movements closely, trying to catch the first glimpse of the baby.
With a whooshing sound, the baby was lifted up out of Jess' stomach into cold air. The new parents cried tears of joy mingled with tears of desperation. Dr Mathieson cut the cord, allowing the midwives to whisk the baby away to a machine just out of their eye line, where more doctors were waiting.
"What's happened? Why isn't the baby crying?" Jess asked, her voice rising, desperately trying to see her baby.
"He's just having a little trouble breathing. The midwives and baby doctors are helping him." the doctor answered, checking the monitors on how Jess was doing.
"We've got a son?" Callum asked in awe.
"Yes you do, congratulations." the doctor said kindly. Callum let out a startled laugh, pressing kisses to Jess' cheek. He had never given much thought to becoming a dad before he met Jess. He couldn't see himself settled down with a wife and children, but when he met Jess, something had changed in him and he knew that what he wanted was Jess as his wife and loads of children running around, the perfect mix of them. When Jess told him that she was pregnant, he had been so nervous and excited, but he knew beyond a doubt that he already loved this strange child of his and Jess'. But now that their baby, their son, was actually here, it felt like his heart had swollen to twice the size to make room for all this love.
He kissed Jess, seeing his wife in a whole different light now. She had grown their baby for eight months, nurturing him and protecting him throughout the whole of her pregnancy, through all the obstacles thrown her way. She was amazing in his eyes. As he kissed her again, they heard a startled little noise.
"We've got him breathing." the midwife said to the doctor, who nodded.
"Jess, Callum, your son needs to be taken to NICU for monitoring." the neonatal doctor said.
"Where?" Callum asked.
"The neo-natal intensive care unit. Because of his early birth, and because of the abruption and it took a while to get him breathing, we just need to take extra care of him, that's all." the doctor explained.
"Callum, go with him." Jess said, her voice little more than a whisper.
"No, I want to stay with you." Callum answered.
"Please, he's all on his own, go with him, look after him. I'll be fine." Jess said with a small smile.
"It's ok Mr Stone, we'll take care of your wife." Dr Mathieson said with a nod. Callum kissed Jess one last time before following the incubator which held their son. Jess took a deep breath, watching them leave, feeling incredibly weak.
"I don't feel so good." she murmured groggily.
"She's bleeding too much. Can you get some more blood brought in here immediately. We need to stop this bleeding." the doctor ordered.
"What's going on?" Jess slurred, the blood loss affecting her more and more with each passing minute.
"There's a lot of blood from where your placenta abrupted. We need to try and stop it. We'll do everything we can to stop it, but if we can't, we might have to consider a hysterectomy." the doctor said softly.
Jess shook her head slowly, "No, no way. I'm not having a hysterectomy. No."
"I'm sorry Jess, but that might be the only way to stop the bleeding and save your life. Just concentrate on your breathing ok? I'm going to do everything I can to avoid doing a hysterectomy." Dr Mathieson promised.
Jess woke a while later in a recovery area. Her head felt heavy, the effect of the different drugs going through her system. Her arm went to her stomach, feeling the flatness there. Confused, she looked to the side of the bed, but there was no cot there with her baby in it. And now, come to think of it, Callum was nowhere to be seen either. She couldn't remember a thing about what had happened. Clearly she had given birth, but when? Was her baby dead? Is that why Callum wasn't there?
She gingerly lifted up her hospital gown, seeing a bandage across the lower section of her abdomen, near her bikini line. So she'd had a caesarean.
"Ah Jess, you're awake. How're you feeling?" the midwife asked, who Jess remembered was called Zoe.
"My baby? And my husband, where are they?" she asked, her voice little more than a whisper.
"They're up in the baby intensive care unit. You had to have a caesarean, because your placenta abrupted, remember?" Zoe asked her. Images and sounds swam in Jess' memory. She remembered that she had been in the bath when she went into labour, and then her waters broke...no, they hadn't, she was bleeding, and then she'd had to go to theatre, and her baby hadn't been breathing, and they'd taken him away before she could even touch him.
"I want to see my son." she said.
"You can't just yet. We've got to keep you under close observation for the next two hours minimum. Once Dr Mathieson is satisfied that your blood pressure and blood results are ok, we can take you to see your baby." Zoe replied, checking Jess' chart.
"Is he ok?" she asked in a small voice.
Zoe smiled at her, "He seems to be doing just fine. They've kept him on oxygen, but they said he's responding brilliantly, so he should be able to come off it soon. Your husband's been holding him; he gave him his first feed. We got a photo for you." Zoe handed the Polaroid picture to Jess.
She looked closely at the photo, not believing that it was her husband. The man in the picture looked so happy, his eyes glistening with tears of joy, his broad hands cradling this tiny baby. Jess had never seen him look so tender before. She sniffed, smiling as the tears slowly dripped down her face. She didn't notice Zoe leave; she was so absorbed in this only photo of her husband and son. This was all she had of her baby, at least until she finally got to hold him in her arms.
"Hi mum." a quiet voice said from the doorway. Jess tore her eyes away from the picture, as if looking at it so intently had suddenly conjured her husband. She smiled at him before bursting into tears. Callum crossed the room in a few strides, gently gathering her into his arms. "It's ok, you're ok darlin', you're both ok. We have a son, you're a mum again."
"I thought I'd lost him, I thought he'd died. Is he ok?" Jess asked tearfully, clinging to Callum.
Callum nodded, a brilliant smile on his face, "He is perfect. So tiny, but beautiful. Just like you."
"What does he look like?" she asked softly, cuddling closer to him.
"Well, he's got stormy blue eyes like mine, they're really big, and he looks permanently startled, like a little bush baby. And he's got the softest dark blonde hair, just like yours. He's already the perfect mix of us. The nurses weighed him when we got up there, and he was 6lb1oz, which they said was good considering he was a little bit premature." Callum said, almost reverently. Jess sat and listened to him talk about their son, lapping up any information at all about this strange being who wasn't a part of her anymore.
"They won't let me see him for a few hours at the earliest." Jess said sadly.
"Well there's no way I'm illegally smuggling you there, even I have my limits, but maybe seeing this will help." he said, brushing his lips against her forehead.
He pulled his phone from his pocket, handing it to Jess. His photos were already full of their baby, and soon a video of their son was playing, his arms and legs flailing, a tiny bobble hat on his head. His little hand was wrapped around one of Callum's fingers; it looked as if he was clinging on for dear life. Callum rested his head on Jess' shoulder as they watched the video of their baby, both of them smiling, revelling in this little miracle they had created. James Oliver Stone had already captured his parent's hearts.
She dozed sporadically, waking suddenly every few hours, not knowing where the hell she was. But then she remembered her tiny son, and that once again she was a mother. As she slept, she dreamt of Luke and her father.
She was sat on a red sofa, her baby boy dozing in her arms. Robert was holding Luke's hand tightly, and slowly they approached Jess. Luke came up to her, peering over the blankets to look at his little brother.
"Mama, he doesn't look like me, are you sure he's my brother?" Luke asked innocently, scrunching his nose up. Jess laughed, kissing Luke on the cheek.
"Yes baby, he is your little brother. He looks exactly like you did when you were born, except you were a bit bigger." Jess explained.
"I'm a big boy." Luke said triumphantly.
"Yes sweetheart, you certainly are. So, what do you think of him?" Jess asked him, pushing his long dark hair off his face.
"He's alright. Can I show him my truck?" Luke asked.
"Sure you can, go get it, I'll wait right here." Jess said with a grin at her eldest son, a bundle of energy.
"Well, my lovely girl, you've done well." Robert said softly, sitting next to Jess, holding her hand.
"Oh dad, I miss you so much, we all do." she said sadly, closing her eyes as her father kissed her forehead.
"I know, and believe me, I would have stayed if I could, but it just wasn't meant to be. But don't fret love, I've got Luke here with me, and George and little Ellie, and there's Dan as well, but I don't interact with him much. She's a right looker is your Ellie." Robert said proudly.
"Is she here? She'd be nearly two now! What does she look like?" Jess asked, moving James to her to her other arm.
"She's a beauty Jess. She's got Dan's eyes, grey eyes that shine, but she's got a perfect halo of blonde curls. The complete opposite in looks to Luke." Robert said with a big smile.
"Does she know who I am?" Jess asked worriedly. Even though she had miscarried the baby that would have become Ellie, she hoped that her daughter would have some idea of who she was.
"Of course she does love. She knows that Dan is her dad, that me and George are her grandfathers, that Luke is her big brother, and that you are her beautiful mother. And now she's a big sister to your little one." Robert said, gently touching the crown of the baby's head.
"We named him after you, you know. His name is James Oliver Stone." Jess said, handing her slumbering son over to Robert, who immediately started cooing over his newest grandchild. It was at this point that Luke excitedly ran back in, a toy truck clutched in his little hand. He sat on the floor, racing it around, running it up and down Jess' body.
"You should come and play with me more often mama, I like it!" Luke said with a giggle as Jess scooped him up, throwing him up into the air.
"I like it as well. I can't believe how tall you are! You're like a noodle!" Jess teased, tickling his belly, causing more laughter to tumble from his smiling mouth, before she pulled him close to her, relishing the solid weight of him.
"Mama, that's silly! I'm not a noodle, I'm just Luke!" he said.
"Hey baby, before I have to go, do you want to hold your little brother?" Jess asked. Luke looked shyly at Jess and Robert before nodding slowly. "Ok baby, climb up here next to me, and put this pillow on your lap, there's a good boy. Now, you've got to hold him real careful so he doesn't hurt his head, ok?"
Robert stood up, placing James slowly into Luke's waiting arms. He settled him so that Luke would be comfy, before standing back to admire his grandsons. Jess smiled, a great big ear splitting smile at seeing her two sons together, something she never thought possible. She turned around, faced her father, and walked into his open arms. She clutched at his jumper, inhaling that smell she would always associate with him; fresh air and tobacco. After a while, they slowly moved apart, Robert kissing her once more.
"I think it's time for you and the baby to go love." he said softly. He wiped a tear from her cheek, slowly tucking a blonde strand of hair behind her ear.
"Ok dad. I love you, and we miss you so much." Jess said vehemently.
"I know, and I miss you all too, your mother more than anything. Make sure she knows that." Robert said with a nod, swinging Luke up into his arms. "Give mummy a kiss goodbye Lukie."
"Mama, please stay with me and granddaddy, and Ellie as well." Luke begged, stretching out for Jess.
"Oh if I could I would baby, but I have to look after James and Callum. But you're always with me, always. I'll see you again soon, I promise. Give me a kiss." she said, leaning into him, kissing his flushed cheek.
"Dad, look after him and Ellie for me. I love you. See you soon." she said with a sad smile.
And then she woke up.
She opened her eyes slowly, the weak November sun shining lazily through the blinds of Jess' room. She stretched out, regretting it as her scar throbbed with pain. She poured herself a cup of water, sipping it slowly, smiling at the sight of Callum sprawled out on a camp bed, his feet hanging over the end. She pushed the covers off of her, adjusting the back of the bed so she was sat upright, before slowly swinging her legs out until her feet were on the floor. She winced as her stomach muscles pulled, but gritted her teeth and stood, quietly walking across the room, sitting by Callum's head. She stroked the dark hair, shaking her head at the mess it was. She pressed her lips to his cheek, and slowly his eyes opened.
"Morning." he said with a yawn.
"Morning daddy." she said with a smile.
"I can't believe I'm a dad, it's insane!" he said sleepily.
"Well you better get used to it. You're a dad for life now." she replied.
"I couldn't think of anything better, other than being your husband for life, obviously." he said quickly.
"Hey guess what!" she said excitedly, her dream flooding back to her.
"Hmm?" he mumbled.
"I had a dream last night, and my dad and Luke were there. I got to hold Luke again, and talk to my dad, and Luke met James, it was magical. And Ellie is beautiful apparently, according to dad anyway." Jess rambled on.
"It's no wonder she's beautiful, is it, with you as her mum." Callum said, a soft smile on his face.
"Oh Mr Stone you charmer." she laughed.
"That's right baby." he replied with a wink. "Do you want some breakfast? I don't mean this hospital crap either, I'll go and get you something, I think I saw a cafe just down the road. It'll give me a chance to ring the station as well, and tell them the good news."
"Yeah sure. A nice big blueberry muffin will do me brilliantly thanks. I forgot to ask yesterday, but did you ring mum?" Jess asked.
"Yes I did, she was ecstatic. She wanted to come in yesterday, but the doctor said you weren't allowed any visitors just yet. I'm sure she'll be able to come and see you today though now you're on the ward." Callum answered.
"I want to see the baby first." Jess said, suddenly a little bit frightened of seeing her newborn son for the first time. It had been five years since she'd had a newborn- what if she'd forgotten how to be a mum? Callum heard the slight quiver in her voice, taking her hand in his.
"I'll tell you what, I'll go and check with the doctor if it's ok to go and see him. I'll be back in a minute." Callum said, kissing her before leaving the room. Jess sat on the edge of the bed, fidgeting, waiting for him to come back. Finally he did, accompanied by the doctor.
"Good morning Jess, how're you doing?" Dr Mathieson asked, taking some vitals and recording them on her chart.
"Really good thanks. The cut is a bit sore but I expected that." Jess answered.
"That's really good. All your vitals seem to be fine and your blood pressure has normalised, so I'm going to slowly reduce your blood pressure medication over the next few days and we'll see what happens. Now, your husband says you want to go and see your son?" she asked.
"Yes please. I didn't get to hold him at all yesterday, or even touch him. Please let me see him now." Jess begged.
The doctor nodded, "Ok, but you'll go up there in a wheelchair, and if you don't feel up to it, you tell the nurse and we'll bring you straight back down, ok?"
"Yes ok. Thank you doctor." Jess said happily.
"My pleasure. He's a real looker." the doctor said with a grin.
Callum slowly wheeled Jess through the door into the NICU. There was a strange kind of hush in there, only the quiet breathing of the babies and the occasional beeping from the machines breaking the silence. Jess looked around, seeing three of the incubators occupied.
"Where is he?" she whispered to Callum.
"Right there." Callum said proudly, stopping the wheelchair next to the closest incubator. And there he was. Their tiny son, James. Jess was awestruck. She pressed her hand slowly against the clear plastic, looking in closer. James was facing them, his eyes shut in sleep, his hands fisted on his chest. He looked adorable.
"Can I hold him?" Jess asked a passing nurse. The nurse stopped, checked James' chart and then nodded. She slowly opened the incubator, gently picking James up before helping Jess tuck him down her nightie, finally able to do skin to skin. And there he was, a warm weight in her arms. She couldn't stop staring at him, he was absolutely perfect. She gently stroked his hand, watching as it unfurled and splayed on her chest like a star. She didn't notice Callum taking photos, all she could see was her son. She tried to memorise every inch of him, from the pearly colour of his eyelids, to the tiny whorls in his ears, to the smattering of light hair covering his head. This was one of the best moments of her life. James slowly opened his eyes, seeing his mother for the first time in his life. He blinked slowly, and then started to fidget.
"Does he want a feed?" the nurse asked, coming back with a bottle.
"Oh, I was hoping to breastfeed him." Jess said, not taking the bottle.
"Perfect, would you like to give it a go then?" the nurse asked, setting the bottle on top of the incubator. Jess nodded, pulling down her nightie more, watching as James latched on straight away, his fidgeting stopping as he got what he wanted. Jess covered him with the yellow blanket Michelle had made, not wanting him to get cold.
"You are so perfect." Callum said in awe, stroking James' soft hair and kissing Jess.
"I do try." she said with a laugh, looking in wonderment at the new man in her life.