Inaru Hanshite
Watching cartoons with my daughter, I begin to feel it again- someone covert is attacking my energy and mind. It starts with an almost headache, a cold heat spreading through my face and down my spine. I let them enter- my mind is my domain. Once the assailant is within my mental domain, I smirk knowingly and hit play on my phone. My hands move in a practiced and personal series of flourishes, clapping together as I finish the summoning of my domain, "Song of the world, kaleidoscope of pain- swirling with colors, shifting night and day. Let the music guide you, let your voice ring. Domain Expansion: Cosmic Symphony!"
True to the anime's style that I had drawn this from, a cosmic domain expanded around our astral form, an advanced looking tech-scythe appearing in my hands. With an excited smirk, I begin to attack, my movements smooth and almost graceful- as if we were dancing a duet. All the while, I used my real world technique, singing and affecting their chakra system with the suffering of every being affected by the corrupt system that runs our world- both human and inhuman. Using the anime techniques I had taught myself, I fire supernovas at the attacker, moving in to slash at them with the blade of my scythe, but at the last second, I notch the blade around their armored torso and tossed them into a black hole that I summoned. They were forced out of my mind once again and I returned to watching Octonauts with my seven year old.
I didn't want to be a mother, but I was young, naive, and fell for the "Don't worry, I'll pull out" schtick- spoiler alert: he didn't pull out and I've been stuck in place another eight years after the nineteen that I spent under my parents' control. I would never hurt my daughter- nor would I allow her to feel unwanted, because I know what that feels like. I can't leave her behind either- I know what that feels like, too... but twenty-six years spent stuck under someone else's thumb, dreaming of an adventurer's life... well, it's enough to drive anyone insane.
Unlike most, I appreciate the pain of the struggle- much like thrill seekers appreciate the fear and adrenaline of the action. Only, for me, it's because I appreciate the journey itself- every tear, every smile, every hurricaine of emotion, and every struggle leads us to grow stronger... The problem is that the journey has been taken from us- the elites have trapped us in an endless cycle of reincarnation as human being- all so they can harness our energy to fuel their synthetic immortality. Thus, stealing not only the journey, but also destiny and authenticity as well, from the masses. The fae, sirens, dragonkin and other ethereal beings are confined to their homes because of the destruction that humanity causes- and humanity is destructive because of the life we have lived under the system for centuries. I believe it started when the Great Library was burned, but that's just me. The skinwalkers, mimics, vampires, and others that feed on humanity can't hunt like they could eons ago- it's been made too easy, surely they've grown to feel the stagnation, too. Then there's humanity itself- every walk of life is suffering! We are all following the same, overdone script that everyone in our position before has lived by, and it's grown monotonous and repetitive...
This is why I started Project Muse: to break the illusion and plant the seeds of freedom, curiosity, and critical thinking- this way, when world war three hits its peak, no one will want to help the elites rebuild. Woven into each song and story was the truth about what the elites have been doing to this world and its people, with the hopes that it would open eyes- and each was embedded with energetic influence so that the audience would at least feel the intended effect, even if they didn't watch or read all the way through.
My husband leaves for work, giving me a peck on the lips before taking off- well, I say 'husband', but there was never a ceremony or even a proposal. We've just been together so long that we may as well be. He ignores me most of the time, more interested in playing Call of Duty than spending time together. Occasionally, we'll watch anime together or a paranormal investigation from one of our favorite groups, like Twin Paranormal. But that's about it. I feel like I am more of a convenience to him than someone he needs... he does try to be there when I break down, but he doesn't understand - and he doesn't try to go beneath the surface of the issues. That's why I started pulling back from him a bit- to detach myself so it won't hurt as much when the fallout finally occurs, because I feel it coming... and I'm ready for it.
Why do I stay? My daughter- why else? You see, I have several generational curses that prevent me from leaving. If I left and took my daughter, that would create a new generational curse for my daughter to have to break. If I left both of them, that would leave her to carry the ones that are my responsibility to break. I can't allow either of those to happen. So, unless some chaotic force suddenly rips me away from here, here I shall stay. Call it love, call it responsibility or awareness, whatever boats your float- I am stuck until fate finds me. I just hope it finds me soon...