Hey babes! Back with a new chapter for ya! Originally I was gonna wait a little bit longer to post, but I really like this chapter for a couple of reasons, so I wanted to give it to you all now.
Enjoy!
*October 28, 2020*
Unfortunately for her study habits, Clarke hasn't gotten much sleep over the last few days which means she hasn't been able to focus on much of anything. She hasn't been able to stop thinking about the baby she's carrying, a baby whose biological father wants nothing to do with it. She doesn't know what she was expecting, given how distant Finn had started to become in the weeks leading up to her discovering and then telling him about her situation.
The only saving grace so far in all of this has been Bellamy. Of course, he hasn't needed to do much recently since there hasn't been anything for him to do. All he's done so far is text her periodically to check in and make sure she's doing okay. But it's exactly what she's needed.
"Hey, you promise you're feeling okay?" Bellamy asks her as they make their way through the parking lot and toward the school.
She lets out a heavy sigh and runs a hand through her hair. "Honestly? I don't know. I've been feeling pretty nauseated the last few days mostly."
"Have you thrown up yet?" he asks carefully. "I remember my mom was pretty sick with O in the early months."
Clarke shakes her head. "No. I haven't been sick yet. I'm hoping I won't be for however long I'm...you know." She waves a hand in the air, hoping her point gets across to him. He's usually pretty good at knowing what she means, knowing what she's getting at without her having to say the words.
Bellamy nods. "Right. Well, let me know if it ever gets bad and I can ask my mom what she used to help with it. I think there's tea or something that'll help."
She smiles up at him. "I will. Thanks."
He smiles back, shrugging. "No problem." He steps in front of her when they reach the doors and pulls one open, allowing Clarke to step through.
As soon as she steps foot inside the school, a boy passes by her wearing more cologne than necessary and her stomach flips. She sways a little on her feet from the sudden exposure, grateful for Bellamy standing close enough to catch her.
"You good?" he asks, his lips near her ear as he steadies her on her feet.
She nods, leaning against him just a little until she's sure she's okay. "Yeah." She swallows. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...someone was wearing really strong cologne."
He moves around and stands in front of her, looking directly into her eyes. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to take you home?"
She smiles softly, resting one of her hands on his arm. "No, Bellamy, I'll be okay. I'll see if the nurse has something to help with the nausea. Without actually telling her why I'm so nauseated all of a sudden."
"Okay. Just let me know if you need me to take you home for whatever reason. Please?"
She takes in the pure concern written all over his face and nods slowly. "Okay."
He lets out a breath. "Thank you."
Giving his arm a small squeeze, Clarke steps past him and continues down the hallway toward the cafeteria, knowing Bellamy isn't far behind. He's always been protective of her and has always looked out for her, but he's really amped it up the last few days. It's sweet. She prays it never gets unbearable.
Reaching the table where her friends are sitting and chatting, Clarke falls into the nearest open chair and drops her bag on top of the table. She lets out a heavy breath and slumps forward, resting her arms against her backpack. She's tempted to close her eyes for just a moment and try to get some rest before first period starts. Just a few minutes so she can at least feel like she's gotten sleep recently.
"I'll wake you up if you want to take a quick nap," Bellamy whispers in her ear.
She smiles, turning her head just enough to look at him. "You're amazing." She turns her head back into her bag and closes her eyes, letting sleep slowly take over. It comes on faster than she'd expected; she clearly needs this nap.
She can't help it when her dreams wander, filling up with images of a beautiful child that is a near-perfect blend of her features and Finn's and she almost hates it because then she'll always have a constant reminder of Finn. But the child her dreams have conjured up is absolutely beautiful. Her friends are all there in her dreams too, playing with her baby and supporting her in her life as a single mom, all of them helping out in their own ways. She still hasn't made that decision yet, but it's a nice dream either way.
Moments later—she's not exactly sure how much time has gone by—she's awoken not by Bellamy's soothing voice in her ear or the loud trilling of the school bell but by multiple voices shouting at a distance. She shifts in her chair, burying her face in her backpack a little as she wakes up.
Sitting up and turning around, her heart nearly stops when she sees the boy standing just a few feet away. Her stomach churns and she's ninety percent sure she's going to vomit right there on the spot. Her hand curls tightly around the back of the chair, her eyes darting to Nate and Murphy blocking Finn's path.
"Finn? What are you doing here?"
His eyes dart to her. "I just want to talk, Clarke. Can you tell your bodyguards to let me through?" He steps forward but is immediately stopped by her friends.
Murphy shoves Finn's shoulder, making him stumble back. "I said stay back, asshole. She doesn't want to see you."
Finn glares at Murphy. "Don't talk like you know what she's thinking."
"I know, though," Bellamy says, a murderous glare set on Finn though he stays standing right next to Clarke's seat. "I know the truth, which is why I know she doesn't want to see you. So I highly suggest you get out of here before we embarrass you in front of all these people."
At Bellamy's words, Clarke finally notices the rest of the students in the cafeteria who are eagerly watching what's happening, some of them with their phones out to either take pictures or capture video. This is not what she wants. She just wants it all to be over. She needs Finn to leave.
"Clarke, please. I miss you."
She shakes her head as she stands, reaching out to Bellamy when he moves to step in front of her, essentially blocking her from Finn's view. "I'm fine," she says quietly to him, focusing on Finn as she moves toward him and gestures for Nate and Murphy to step aside.
Murphy does so reluctantly but keeps a hard glare on Finn the entire time.
Getting directly in Finn's face, she straightens her shoulders. "You don't get to say you miss me, Finn. Not when it's your fault we're broken up in the first place."
He sighs heavily. "I'm sorry, Clarke. I never meant to hurt you, you gotta know that. But Raven and I have a lot of history. I couldn't just—"
"Couldn't just what, Finn?" she cuts him off angrily, not bothering to care if her voice is rising and attracting even more attention. "Couldn't just leave either one of the two girls you were dating? You're the one who decided to date both of us at the same time. You made that decision on your own to lie to both of us. So you don't get to stand there and play the victim in all of this. There are only two victims here, me and the other girl you lied to."
"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" Murphy speaks up. "I don't know anything about this other girl you were dating, but I know Clarke and what type of a person she is. You were beyond lucky to date her, man. It can only go downhill from here for you."
Finn turns on him and glares. "Stay out of this, it doesn't concern you."
"Actually, it does," Murphy says, stepping forward. "Because Clarke's my friend. And you hurt her. And I'm not particularly fond of anyone who hurts my friends."
Finn scoffs. "Whatever." He looks back at Clarke. "Did you at least decide on the other thing yet?" he asks her. "My offer still stands to take you to the clinic."
Her heart beats faster and she avoids looking at Murphy and Nate, not wanting to see the mix of concern and confusion she knows is on their faces. "I'm not talking about that with you right now. Or at all. I already know what you want me to do."
"We're not ready for the responsibility, Clarke," he continues his argument from the day she told him. "Deep down I know you know that."
Bellamy appears in her peripheral vision, standing just a hair ahead of her to keep Finn from moving any closer if he tries. "I'm pretty sure she said she doesn't want to talk about that. So leave. And never speak to her again."
"I'll talk to her if I want to," Finn snaps. "It takes two, right? Clarke seemed more than eager to get me into bed that night at the party. How do I know this wasn't some plan she cooked up to try and trap me, hm? Are you jealous, Bellamy? Are you jealous that I was the one to knock—"
Clarke gasps and jumps back in the instant that Finn is on the floor. Blood slowly trickles out of his nose and there's a dazed look in his eyes. Murphy's standing over him with heavy breathing and a tight fist. "Murphy? What the hell?"
Murphy shrugs. "I saw the look on Bellamy's face. He can't afford to get in trouble over something like this. Detention's my people. I'll be fine."
"I think you broke my nose," Finn says from the floor, his voice muffled by his hand.
"You're lucky that's all I broke," Murphy snaps back, squatting so he's at eye level with Finn. "Right now the only thing preventing Bellamy back from kicking your ass is me and the amazing girl you screwed over. Me, on the other hand? Nothing is gonna keep me from kicking your ass right now if another thing comes out of your mouth that I don't like. So you can either keep talking and get your ass kicked, or you can stay quiet and leave right now. What's it gonna be?"
"You're psychotic."
Murphy chuckles. "Wrong choice." He grabs the collar of Finn's shirt and pulls him up, decking him again in the face and sending him right back to the floor.
"Fight!"
Clarke turns in the direction of the voice, trying to see who yelled it, but it's pointless. In an instant everyone in the cafeteria watching the scene is shouting, encouraging a fight to break out. The circle that had already formed is getting even tighter around them.
Clarke instinctively moves closer to Bellamy, one of her hands clutching his arm as she watches Finn swing his arms wildly in the air, trying to get at Murphy. He manages to barely clip the side of Murphy's head a few times, but Murphy has the upper hand, mostly deflecting Finn's attempts of attack while throwing in his own punches.
She's vaguely aware of the bell ringing somewhere in the distance, but all she can focus on is one of her closest friends beating up her ex-boyfriend. And he doesn't even know the whole truth of why she and Finn aren't together anymore. She hasn't even told anyone other than Bellamy that she and Finn broke up. No doubt her best friend spotted Finn as soon as he came inside and told the others the partial truth.
"What's going on here?"
Everyone freezes at the loud, booming voice of their principal. The crowd shifts as Principal Diyoza walks through, like Moses parting the Red Sea.
Clarke swallows thickly, watching as the woman looks around and takes in the scene before her.
"The bell has rung," she says to the entire room. "So everyone who is not directly involved in this situation should be on their way to class. Now."
All the students scatter like mice, moving quickly out of the room so they won't be subjected to whatever punishment Principal Diyoza would dish out if they lingered behind.
Clarke glances at the table as Maya, Harper, Monty, and Jasper are gathering their things and heading to class. She clocks the hesitancy in their movements, knows that they want to stay and be supportive. But they weren't directly involved in what happened.
Which leaves just Clarke, Bellamy, Nate, Murphy, and Finn in the cafeteria with Principal Diyoza.
"Now, who wants to tell me what happened?"
"This psycho punched me," Finn is the first to answer, holding his hands to his bloodied face and gesturing vaguely in Murphy's direction.
Diyoza fixes her gaze on him. "And who are you? I don't recognize you."
"Um, he doesn't...he doesn't go here," Nate answers before Finn can say anything else. "He goes to Polis High. His name is Finn Collins, he's Clarke's ex-boyfriend. He came in and tried to talk to her, but she was sleeping, so Murphy and I kept him from getting closer. When Clarke woke up he demanded to talk to her but she didn't want to. But he refused to leave. He said some things that Murphy didn't like so he punched him."
Diyoza nods slowly. "I see. Well, I take it things have mostly been handled among you?" She looks at each of them individually.
Murphy smiles. "Not sure about Bellamy, but I feel great."
"Good. Go to the nurse about your hand and then I'm sure you remember where to go for detention after school today."
Murphy chuckles. "It was worth it." He fixes Finn with another glare. "And there'll be more where that came from if I hear anything about you coming near Clarke again."
"Now, Mr. Murphy."
Murphy holds his hands up and slowly starts backing up in the direction of the nurse's office. "Alright, alright, I'm going."
"Finn, was it?" Diyoza speaks, turning to the boy in question. "Judging from the look of your face, you may need to see the nurse as well."
"Are you kidding me? I'm not going anywhere that psycho is."
Diyoza sighs. "Fine. Then you can leave. You don't attend this school, you shouldn't be here during school hours without permission. If I catch word that you're here again without permission there will be consequences."
Finn scoffs. "Whatever." He turns and makes his way out of the room as quickly as he can.
Diyoza frowns. "Now I'll have to find the janitor to have him clean up this blood. He already doesn't like me." She breathes deeply, squaring her shoulder. "Mr. Blake, Mr. Miller, if neither of you laid a hand on that young man, you can both head to class now. I'd like a word with Miss Griffin."
Bellamy gives her an apprehensive look and she silently squeezes his arm in reassurance. He hesitates, naturally, but then grabs his bag and leaves with Nate.
Clarke shuffles back and forth on her feet, wringing her hands together and wishing that Bellamy was still with her. She's perfectly fine talking to Principal Diyoza about academic events. Personal ones are a whole new thing for them.
"Have a seat, Clarke."
She does, returning to the seat she'd been in earlier before everything spiraled out of control. She pulls her backpack off the table and into her lap, wrapping her arms around it, just to have something to cling to.
Principal Diyoza sits next to her, turning and pulling the chair so she's not as close and is facing Clarke. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Mr. Miller's a trustworthy young man, so I'm going to assume that what he told me is the truth. Am I right in that assumption?"
Clarke nods. "Yes."
"And are you okay? Do you need to take a break from class for the morning? I'll excuse you in the system myself if that's the case."
She shakes her head this time. "No, thank you. I should be okay. It was just...I wasn't expecting him to be here. I haven't seen him for a few days and the last time I did I said that I never wanted to see him again."
"Bad breakup?"
Clarke stays silent, focusing on the zipper pull of her backpack. This is a new situation for her, talking to her Principal like this. Usually, they're in her office, in a professional setting, talking about school-related topics.
Diyoza takes a deep breath and sits up. "Listen, I know I have a reputation for being a hard ass and having almost no emotion. But I'm still human. You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable with it, but you're one of my students, and I care that you're doing well mentally, that you're taking care of yourself."
Clarke's quiet for another moment and then takes a shaky breath. "Finn was cheating on me. That's part of why I broke up with him."
"And the other part?" Diyoza asks with a slightly raised brow.
Clarke hesitates. "He uh...I'm pregnant. And he tried to convince me on the spot that I need to have an abortion. That we aren't ready to be parents. I refused to commit to that right away without really considering all my options and he didn't like that."
Diyoza shifts in her chair, leaning back. "Can I let you in on a secret? No one's ever ready to be a parent, no matter how old they are. Especially the first time around. And if anyone ever claims to be perfectly ready, then they're lying. I sure as hell wasn't ready."
Clarke's brows furrow tightly. "You...you have a kid?"
Diyoza nods, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket. "Her name is Hope, she just turned four." She holds the phone out with an image loaded on the screen.
Clarke stares at the image of the grinning little girl who looks exactly like the woman sitting across from her. "Wow. She's adorable."
Diyoza smiles, pulling her phone back. "Thank you. She's pretty great, keeps me on my toes. But I wasn't planning on having her when I got pregnant. Everyone I knew kept telling me I wasn't ready, that I wouldn't make a good mom because of my background."
"Did they try to convince you to have an abortion?"
Diyoza nods. "Or put her up for adoption once she was born. But most were telling me to not even go through with the pregnancy at all."
"But you obviously did."
"Yes. And it was the best decision I ever made. Because I made it for myself. You're the only one who gets to make the decision on what to do, Clarke. Especially given the circumstances now. Though I'm sure whatever you decide to do, you won't be alone in it. You've got a good group of friends behind you."
Clarke smiles. "Yeah, they're all pretty great. Murphy can be unhinged on a good day, but he means well. Most of the time."
Diyoza nods. "Yes, well…" she trails off and takes a deep breath, standing from her chair. "Now then, whatever you decide to do, just let me know how I can help school-wise. You're a fantastic student Clarke, and I'd hate for this to affect it too much. Don't hesitate to ask for help with anything, whatever you decide to do."
"I promise. I'm still trying to decide the best option."
"Whatever decision you make, make it because you want to make it, not because of what others around you might do or say. Now, I have a conference call in a few minutes so I need to get going, but feel free to relax in the nurse's office for the rest of first period if you need to. Just have her let me know if you do."
Clarke nods. "I will. Thank you, Principal Diyoza."
"Of course." Diyoza nods once and then heads back to the front office, leaving Clarke sitting alone in the cafeteria.
Hugging her backpack tighter to her chest, Clarke takes slow, deep breaths to help herself relax. This is not what she wanted when the day started, not at all what she was expecting. She's just hoping that no one else who was watching picked up on Finn's comment before Murphy punched him. She hasn't made her decision yet so she doesn't want word to spread around the school before she does. She doesn't need that.
Standing up, she slips her backpack on and makes her way toward the nurse's office, eager to try and finish that nap she was so rudely interrupted from.
"Clarke."
Focusing in front of her, Clarke spots Murphy slowly approaching, a bandage wrapped around the knuckles of the hand he used to beat Finn's face in. "Hey. How's your hand?"
He glances down at the appendage, curling and uncurling his fingers a few times. He shrugs. "Could be worse. What are you doing over here? Isn't your first class in the opposite direction?"
"Diyoza said I could relax in the nurse's office for the rest of first period if I needed to. Figured I'd take the offer while it stands. Don't think I'll be able to focus in class just yet, especially if anyone saw what happened."
Murphy nods. "Uh-huh. And this has nothing to do with how tired you are because you're carrying that asshole's kid?"
Clarke's eyes go wide and she stops breathing for just a moment. Her palms start to sweat and she shifts on her feet. "What...how did you…?"
Murphy rolls his eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Clarke, despite what everyone thinks. I've seen how tired you've been the last week. I would have just thought you were staying up late to study again if Finn hadn't said what he did. I put the pieces together."
"Don't...don't tell anyone, okay? I still haven't made a decision yet about what I'm going to do about all of this and I…" She lets out a humorless laugh, wiping underneath her eyes when her eyes start to sting with tears. "Damn. I thought I was done crying about this." She takes a deep breath. "Only Bellamy and my parents know. And Finn of course. And his other ex-girlfriend. And you. And now Principal Diyoza too. It's a lot more people than I wanted to know about it this early, so I don't want anyone else to find out until I've figured everything out. I still don't know if I'm going to go through with this."
Murphy nods. "Don't worry. I won't say anything."
She lets out a shaky breath. "Good. And thank you, Murphy. I wish you didn't punch Finn like that because you got in trouble, but I appreciate you sticking up for me."
He shrugs. "He had it coming. We both know Bellamy would have done way worse. But he also wouldn't survive in detention, so I took one for the team. I meant what I said earlier, it was worth it."
She smiles softly. "Well, you're a good man, John Murphy."
"Yeah, just don't spread it around, okay?"
She laughs quietly. "Alright. Whatever you say. I'll see you at lunch." She walks past him toward the door to the nurse's office, turning back to him when he calls her name. "Yeah?"
"For what it's worth, if you decide to go through with this, I know you'll be a great mom."
She smiles. "Thanks, Murphy. That means a lot." She watches him walk away and then steps inside the nurse's office, already feeling the tiredness slowly seeping in again. If she does decide to go through with this, then being tired all the time is going to be the least of her problems.
So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time,
Jellybean96 out!