Hey babes! Back with a new chapter for ya! Wanted to get this out before I go to work since it's been a little while since the last update. This is an exciting one, so I hope you're all ready.
Enjoy!
*November 7, 2020*
Leg bouncing, Clarke's eyes dart around the waiting room, taking everything in. Multiple women are sitting in the chairs lining three of the four walls, some with other children and their significant others, some are just by themselves. Various pamphlets are hanging on the shelves on the walls, covering an array of topics regarding pregnancy, birth, and the first few moments with the baby. Part of her wants to grab one of each, just so she has all of her bases covered, but she can't bring herself to do it just yet. She's too nervous, beyond it, in fact.
And she can't help but feel like the other women in the room are silently judging her. They can see how young she is and that she's at the OBGYN without a parent and just a teenage boy. The unspoken stigma settles over her and she squirms in her seat, hating that it's right.
"You're not allergic to anything, right? I don't think you are, but I just want to be sure you haven't developed one recently."
She looks up at Bellamy with slightly furrowed brows. "What?" Then his words register. "Uh, no," she says, shaking her head. "No allergies that I'm aware of."
He nods along. "Okay, good, good." He makes a few more marks on the paper. "Remind me again why I'm the one filling this out when it's not even my appointment?" He marks a couple more things and then looks at her.
"Because you're my best friend."
He smiles. "Well, you got me there."
"And I'm way too nervous about all of this."
"I know." He grabs her hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. "But you'll be perfectly fine. I'll be right back." He lets go of her hand and walks over to the reception desk to turn in the paperwork and then returns to his seat.
She grabs his hand when he sits down and holds it tightly, not wanting to let go again. She needs his consistent support with this, knows deep down she wouldn't be able to do any of this without him. There is no doubt in her mind about it; as much as she loves Harper, Bellamy's her rock.
"Clarke Griffin?"
Her head shooting up, she gives the nurse standing in the doorway a polite smile. "That's me." She stands, keeping Bellamy's hand tightly in hers, and pulls her bag onto her shoulder as she moves toward the door. She passes by the nurse and then lingers in the hallway, waiting to be shown where to go.
"Right this way." The nurse gestures down the hallway and Clarke follows behind her, stopping at a scale so they can take her weight. "Shoes off, please, and then hop up on the scale."
Clarke slips out of her shoes, thankful that she decided to wear flats today, and then hands her bag and coat to Bellamy. She steps up onto the scale, actively avoiding looking at the number it'll display, and waits for the nurse to tell her to step down. The last thing she wants is to know exactly how much she weighs right now.
"Okay, go ahead and step down. And then we'll have you come right in here." The nurse gestures to an open door just down the hallway, moving toward it and stopping.
Clarke slides back into her shoes and follows after the nurse, knowing that Bellamy is right behind her with her belongings. She steps into the room and immediately settles herself on the examination table, taking a deep breath. She smiles at Bellamy as he sits on the bench against the wall, securing her coat and bag in his lap.
The nurse runs through the basics of what the exam will entail, while also grabbing a few vital signs from Clarke to note in her chart. She asks her a few basic questions, jotting everything down for future reference. Then she leaves, informing them the doctor will be right in.
Once the door closes, Clarke looks at Bellamy and gives him half a smile. "That first part wasn't so bad."
He smiles back. "See? And I'm sure the rest won't be so bad either. You'll get to see your baby, after all, so that's got to be pretty cool in and of itself."
"The baby's still pretty small, though," she reminds him. "There's no guarantee I'll be able to see anything."
"Still. It's pretty exciting, right?"
She shrugs. "I guess so. But I'm still nervous."
He nods. "And you have every right to be."
Before she has the chance to say anything in response, the door to the exam room opens and her doctor, Simone Lightbourne, walks inside, carrying a clipboard in her arms and wearing a smile. She pushes the door closed and moves further into the room, pulling the rolling tray with the computer closer to her. Clarke has only met the woman a handful of times before, typically at one of her mother's work events that she was forced into attending.
"Hi, Doctor Lightbourne," Clarke says with a polite smile.
The woman gives her a soft smile back. "Nice to see you again, Clarke. How are you feeling today?"
Clarke shrugs. "Not as nauseous as I have been. Kind of tired, though. And my boobs are sore."
Doctor Lightbourne nods along. "That's completely normal and to be expected. Do you have any questions for me about anything before we get started with the ultrasound?"
Clarke thinks for a moment and then shakes her head. "No, I can't think of any."
"Alright, we'll go ahead and get started, then." She sits down on a rolling stool and pulls the ultrasound machine closer to the exam table. "Go ahead and lift your shirt for me and unbutton the top of your pants." She quickly glances over in Bellamy's direction. "Dad, you're more than welcome to join us over here."
"Oh," Clarke says, looking behind her at Bellamy as she pulls her shirt up and then back at Doctor Lightbourne. "Um, he's not...the father isn't in the picture. Bellamy's my best friend and moral support."
"I apologize for assuming. I really should know better at this point." She smiles politely. "You're lucky to have such a good best friend at your side."
Clarke laughs quietly. "Believe me, I know." She tucks the hem of her shirt up under her bra and then undoes the button on her pants and pushes the zipper down.
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bellamy stepping up beside the exam table, one of his hands resting on the edge of it near her head while the other is tucked in his pocket. He gives her a small smile and then squeezes her shoulder.
He leans down a little closer while the doctor is busy and whispers in her ear, "Doctor Lightbourne? Is she…"
"Josephine's mom? Yeah."
"Huh. Weird."
"Trust me, I'm well aware. Do you know how weird it'll be to see Josephine at school knowing that her mom is eventually going to see my nether regions? I know they don't talk about that kind of stuff, but it's just the idea, I guess."
He nods. "That makes sense."
Clarke smiles at him and then turns her attention back to Doctor Lightbourne just as the woman is pulling the doppler and gel out of their respective holders. She takes a deep breath and holds it, preparing herself for the chilly sensation she knows is coming. She's never had an ultrasound before, but she's heard that it can be really cold.
A few seconds later, she winces when the gel is placed on her lower abdomen. She laughs quietly when she catches Bellamy stepping closer, reaching out a hand to pat his arm in hopes of getting him to relax.
She looks up at him and smiles. "I'm fine. It was just cold."
He nods, his shoulders visibly releasing the tension. He leans against the table, smiling back at her. "Sorry."
"It's okay. Just try and relax. How did we switch and suddenly you're the nervous one while I'm completely fine about all of this?" She laughs quietly, opening her mouth to speak again when a soft whooshing enters her ears. Her eyes go wide as she turns her head back toward Doctor Lightbourne. "Is that..."
The woman smiles and nods. "Yes. That is your baby's heartbeat. Perfectly healthy and beating just as it should be."
Clarke's eyes well up with tears as she listens to the sound, her gaze drifting up to the ceiling. She doesn't try to fight the tears like she usually does, just lets them flow freely down her cheeks. She's overwhelmed, so many emotions coursing through her, but all of them are good.
Just hearing the sound of her baby's heartbeat, she knows she's making the right decision to go through with this and keep the baby. If she was ever unsure before now, then this moment is just cementing it all for her. She has no doubt that she is going to keep this baby and love them completely and give them the best life she possibly can.
"That's incredible," Bellamy's voice breaks through her thoughts. She lifts her head to find him staring at the ultrasound machine. His eyes drift to her and he smiles. "Clarke, look, that's your baby."
"What?" She turns her head toward the screen, finding a fuzzy black-and-white image on the screen, the whooshing of her baby's heartbeat still playing.
Doctor Lightbourne smiles. "The first look is always my favorite part. I tried to get your attention but you seemed to be off in your own little world."
Clarke wipes away some of the lingering tears on her cheeks. "Yeah, I was just thinking." She lets out a breath. "Wow. That's really my baby? It's so tiny."
Doctor Lightbourne laughs quietly. "If my eyes are still working like they should, then I'm gonna say you're about seven weeks along, so still fairly early. I'm glad we were able to get such a good shot of them. I'm gonna have you come back in a few weeks for a dating scan, so we can get you a more accurate due date of when your little one will be here. Would you like any printouts of your scan?"
Clarke thinks for a moment about all the people she wants to have a copy of it. "Could I have four, please?"
"Of course." The doctor pushes a few buttons on the machine and then slides it away, hooking the doppler back into its holder. "You can go ahead and get yourself cleaned up, and I'll be right back with those printouts for you." She stands and leaves the room, pulling the door shut behind her.
Clarke reaches for the wipes left for her on the bed, wiping the thick gel off her skin. She tosses the used wipes into the trashcan in the corner and then resituates her clothes and she sits up on the bed. She swings her legs around the side so she's facing Bellamy and smiles up at him.
He smiles back. "So, how are you feeling?"
She takes a deep breath. "Honestly? A lot better than I was earlier. A part of this still feels surreal while another part of it feels completely real. I just saw my baby on that monitor, Bellamy, and heard its heartbeat. That was my baby on the screen, an actual human being that I created and now get to grow for nine months before pushing it out into the world. That's crazy, right? That has to be crazy."
He just shakes his head with his usual smile. "Not crazy at all. Though I think I get why you're saying that."
"I just...I can't believe this is actually happening."
Bellamy nods, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jeans. "I know what you mean."
The door opens again, and Doctor Lightbourne steps inside with a small stack of photos in her hand. She holds them out with a smile. "These are for you, and you can go ahead and set up your next appointment at the front desk."
Clarke smiles politely and takes the photos. "Okay, thank you." She waits for Doctor Lightbourne to leave and then stares down at the image in her hand. She lightly runs her fingers over it and then rests her hand on her stomach.
"Clarke, you good?"
"Yeah." She takes her coat from Bellamy as she hops down off the bed, ignoring the warmth left behind from his hand against the small of her back as he had helped her down. She's careful of the sonograms in her hand as she slides into her coat and then takes her bag from Bellamy.
"You ready to go?" he asks her.
She nods. "Yeah. Come on." She turns and makes her way out of the room and down the hall leading back toward the waiting area. Once there, she stops at the reception desk to schedule her next appointment, checking quickly with Bellamy about his work schedule because she knows he'll want to drive her to the appointment and actually be there for it too.
As they're making their way out of the building, Clarke stops Bellamy before they reach the front doors, grabbing onto the sleeve of his jacket. She looks up at him with her bottom lip bit between her teeth.
His brows furrow together tightly. "Hey, everything okay? Do you need to sit down for a minute?"
She shakes her head. "No, I'm okay. I just...I want you to have this." She holds one of the sonograms out to him, waiting for him to take it.
He's quiet for a moment and doesn't move. She almost pulls it back but he finally takes it from her and holds it gingerly in his hand, careful not to crumple the edges. He looks up at her. "Really? But I'm just—"
"Bellamy," she cuts him off gently. "You're Bellamy." She gives him a soft smile. "You're my best friend and you're sticking by me through all of this when you could just as easily let me do it on my own. You may not be this baby's biological father, but I know you're going to love him or her like crazy. I want you to have a copy of the sonogram, Bellamy. Please."
He nods slowly, his eyes drifting back down to the image. "Okay." He's quiet for another moment and then his lips pull up into a smile.
"What?"
His eyes flick up to her quickly before looking back at the photo. "It's so tiny."
She smiles. "I know." She moves to stand right next to him, looking at the image with one hand resting on her stomach.
"It kinda looks like a little bean."
Clarke's nose scrunches up but she's still smiling. She laughs quietly. "Did you just call my baby a bean?"
He shakes his head. "No. I said it looks like a bean. But now that you mention it, that's not a pretty bad nickname until we find out if it's a boy or a girl."
She narrows her eyes at him. "You are not calling my baby 'bean' the entire pregnancy."
Bellamy grins as he pulls out his wallet and slips the sonogram into one of the slots. "Too late. It's already stuck." He returns his wallet to his back pocket and then ducks his head just enough to reach her stomach, one of his hands resting on her back so he doesn't lose his balance. "I can't wait to meet you, Little Bean. A lot of people are very excited to meet you, too, but I think I win. I'm definitely the most excited to meet you. Other than your mom, of course."
Clarke rolls her eyes and gently pushes Bellamy's head away from her stomach. "Okay. New rule, no talking to my stomach in public."
He stands up, still smiling. "Deal. But I'm not going to stop calling them 'Little Bean'. It's perfect, Clarke. You have to admit it."
She sighs heavily. "If I admit it, can we go? I'm getting hungry."
Bellamy chuckles. "Yes, we can."
"Fine. It's perfect. Now come on." She grabs his hand and drags him out the front doors and in the direction of the parking lot. She's beyond hungry; she had a hard time all morning trying to keep anything down. But now she really needs to eat.
.
.
.
Stepping over the threshold of the house, Clarke pushes the door closed behind her and shrugs out of her jacket. Her movements are slightly impeded because she forgot to take her bag off her shoulder first, but she manages to get herself untangled without too much trouble. She slips out of her shoes and shoves them against the wall, just wanting her feet to be free. She lets out a small breath and leans against the wall next to her.
After getting food with Bellamy she became exhausted very quickly, so she had him drive her back home—it works out well because he has to work soon anyway. It's only mildly irritating, though, that she's getting so tired all the time. She never used to get tired like this, and she knows it's only happening because she's pregnant.
"Clarke? Is that you?"
Pushing off the wall, she steps into the living room and smiles at her stepdad. "Hey, Marcus."
He smiles back. "Hi. How'd your appointment go?"
She shrugs. "Pretty good. I got to hear the heartbeat."
"You did? That's great."
"It was incredible, Marcus," she tells him, sitting on the couch across from him. "I didn't think I could ever feel that level of joy in my life. But nothing else even comes close to seeing my baby on that ultrasound."
Marcus chuckles. "Just wait until you see a much more clear image of your baby, where you can easily pick out its different features. And then when you get to hold them. Those moments are magical. Or so I've heard. Never actually experienced any of it for myself."
Clarke smiles. "Well, you'll get to experience that with my baby. They're gonna need their grandpa to spoil them like crazy even though I'll ask you not to."
"Clarke…"
She shakes her head. "No. You may not be my biological father and I wish more than anything that he was still here and could get to know my baby, but you've been a part of my life for a long time. You're the only grandpa my baby is going to know, and I'm more than okay with that. As long as you are."
"Of course I am, Clarke. I just didn't want to assume, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable and make you think I was trying to take the place your dad would have had."
She smiles and nods. "I appreciate that. And you're not taking his place. I'll still tell my baby about him, and how much he would have loved them. But you're the one who's here and has been here for me even in the early days when I didn't want you to be. So will you please let my baby call you Grandpa?"
Marcus smiles brightly. "I would be honored."
"Good. And oh! There's one more thing." She digs into her bag and pulls out a sonogram, holding it out to him. "I want you to have this. It's the sonogram from today."
Marcus takes the image and smiles down at it. "Wow."
Clarke lets out a small laugh. "I know. Is Mom home?"
Marcus looks up and shakes his head. "She's working late again."
Clarke sighs. "Of course she is." She stands from the couch and stretches. "I'm gonna head upstairs now and take a nap because I'm tired beyond belief, but save me some of whatever you make for dinner? No guarantee I'll be able to keep it down, but I'd like to at least try."
"Absolutely. Go get some rest. And uh, thank you for this." He gestures to the sonogram. "It means a lot."
"Of course." She flashes him a smile and then makes her way out of the living room and toward the stairs, but makes a detour down the side hallway toward her mom's office.
Pushing through the door, Clarke digs one of the last two sonograms out of her bag. She sets it down on the closed lid of her mom's laptop and then grabs a sticky note and pen, scribbling a quick note to leave on it.
Here's your grandchild. In case you wanted to see them. If you even care at all.
She attaches the sticky note to the corner of the sonogram and then takes a shaky breath in as she walks back out of the office.
Only time will tell if her mom comes around with all of this. And even if she doesn't, Clarke still has Marcus, and she knows she'll have Aurora too, once she finds the guts to face the woman who's been like a mom to her since she was a kid. Maybe she can put that off for a few more days, though. Maybe.
So? What did you think? Let me know in a review down below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Until next time,
Jellybean96 out!