Author Note- Hello, Thank you to everyone who's read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. I appreciate it all. Sorry this one took me a little longer to get posted. I've already got several more chapters written, so don't worry, we are still going strong on the story. Just got busy with holiday/family stuff. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. It's a long one so hopefully that will make up for the wait.
Also, Yes, I did change my username. It's still me, just needed a change.
Song inspiration- Empire- Dean Lewis
Chapter 4
I Feel So Alone
Severus rubbed his temples as he sat on the couch in his quarters. His first day of classes had been exhausting. Thankfully, nothing had gone too horribly. He was also quite sure he had shocked more than one student with his new commitment to being calmer and more reasonable.
His NEWT class this morning had felt lacking when only Granger had shown up. It was unsettling not to see Weasley and Potter sitting with her. He'd hoped to catch Harry at some point today and see why he wasn't taking the class, but he'd only seen him briefly at breakfast.
Severus looked up as his floo flared green.
"Professor Snape?" The voice called.
"Yes?" Severus said in exasperation. The voice didn't sound familiar. No doubt one of the new teachers was calling to complain about a student.
"Em…It's Beatrice Comiso…could we speak about a student?"
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. He still needed to address the last couple of students that missed their appointments with Poppy. He really didn't need to deal with a complaint from a new teacher.
"Come through." Severus said with a sigh.
He didn't know when he had begun to feel so open letting people into his personal space, but he had no energy to traipse all the way to the warding room.
A moment later the floo flared again and the woman stepped out. She stood awkwardly and brushed the soot from her clothing. Severus studied her for a moment. She was tall with olive skin. Her long black hair was neatly braided over one shoulder and at the end appeared to be a leather tie with some sort of golden charm. Tan robes hung open over a well-fitted dark blue dress.
Severus could tell she was uncomfortable and a little unsure of herself as she continued to fuss at a spot on her robes. Severus could tell it was ink, and that it wasn't going to come out by brushing at it. Her nervousness reminded Severus of his first year on staff.
"What can I do for you Ms. Comiso?" Severus asked neutrally.
"Tris, Please." She said with a sigh.
"All of this is so strange to me." Tris said, shaking her head, though Severus could see a slight smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
Severus raised an eyebrow. Tris Smiled brightly and shook her head.
"Last week I was in Egypt and the week before I was in Mexico. I've only been here a few days, and I already feel restless. Bill was right, it's important but…I'm not a teacher." Tris said with a laugh.
Severus could understand that. A slight smile tugging at his lips as he nodded.
"I understand. It was never my intention to teach either. You mention you wanted to speak to me about one of my students?" Severus probed.
While the woman wasn't making him uncomfortable, he did have other things to get to. He also was hesitant to get too close to any of the new staff. Years of spying had left him with a lot of distrust.
"Right." Tris said, nodding.
"Take a seat if you'd like. Though I must say I only have a few moments." Severus said.
Tris nodded and took a seat in the armchair.
"My first class this morning was sixth- and seventh-year combination class, intro to warding. I began the class with an assessment. When they were turned in, I had one perfect and one near perfect score. I... don't mean to imply that they cheated. Well, I'm not sure what to think." Tris said shaking her head.
Severus brows creased. He certainly hoped his students hadn't been cheating. He had strict policies on such things, especially for his upper year students.
"I see." Severus said.
"I don't know that they cheated but the test was meant to assess what they knew. I feel a perfect score would suggest that they took both classes and understood them well. As well as having a base understanding of warding. One student hasn't taken either class. The other has taken both classes but only achieved a passing grade in Runes. Which is important in warding, but it isn't enough." Tris explained.
Severus sighed. It certainly sounded like something had happened.
"Which students?" Severus asked with a sigh.
"Potter and Nott." Tris said.
Severus snorted.
"Potter is not a Slytherin. Surely you know that?" Severus said with amusement in his voice.
Severus looked up to the woman across from him who just looked confused. Could it be possible that anyone didn't know who the boy was?
Tris' face pinched up a little and she shook her head.
Severus ran a hand through his hair.
"Potter? Harry Potter? The-Boy-Who-Lived?" Severus said in exacerbation.
Tris fell back in the chair and brought both hands to her face and made some kind of undignified noise. Severus almost laughed at the dramatics.
"You must think me an absolute dolt." Tris said, sitting forward and looking at him with a defeated look on her face.
Severus smiled slightly and shook his head.
"It's refreshing actually to find someone who is a little unfamiliar with the boy. I can assure you he didn't cheat. Feel free to evaluate him more but the boy spent most of the summer studying, he is…he's rather intelligent." Severus said, thinking about Harry's essays.
Tris raised an eyebrow and nodded a little unsurely.
"I questioned him after class. He was able to answer questions I didn't think most new curse breakers would know. What kid knows what a Fidelius charm is or how to ward against werewolves?" Tris said shaking her head.
Severus blinked realizing this woman really didn't know anything about Harry.
"His parents died under the Fidelius. They were betrayed. His…one of his current guardians is a Werewolf. Potter is well informed on both matters." Severus said a little coldly.
It was obvious that Tris didn't know these things, but Severus was sure that those kinds of questions had been upsetting for Harry.
Tris leaned forward and set her elbows on her knees in a mirror of the way Severus was sitting, except her head was down and she was staring at her clasped hands.
"Wow." Tris said under her breath.
"I'm an asshole then." Tris said mirthlessly.
Severus snorted slightly.
"No, you're just new." Severus assured.
"I interrogated him his first potion's class. Humiliated him in front of everyone for not knowing the answers. I didn't know that he'd only been informed a few weeks earlier that magic even existed." Severus said with a sigh.
Tris looked at him with an understanding nod.
"I told him he wasn't a good fit for the class. He really wasn't what I expected. I've heard stories about him of course. He seemed…I don't know small and quiet compared to what I expected." Tris said.
Severus nodded. He supposed Harry had been made out to be bigger than life in the paper. He was concerned about the quiet part though. While he'd certainly seen plenty of it this summer, he'd never seen that behavior at school. He really hoped he'd get a chance to talk to him soon. He wanted to reinforce what he'd said before that Harry could reach out to him here at school.
"He's a good kid. As for Nott, his failure in Arithmancy was heavily influenced by our temporary takeover by Madam Umbridge last year. I have every confidence that Nott is also not being deceptive. Though I can have a chat with him if you feel it's necessary." Severus said.
Tris shook her head.
"No, I'm sure they are both just very bright students. I think they both might do better in my advanced class. I know schedules have already been set but perhaps something can be moved around." Tris suggested.
"Possibly. I'll speak with Nott. You'll need to speak with Black about changing Potter's schedule." Severus explained.
Tris nodded.
"Well, I feel rather foolish. I suppose I should head to dinner. I apologize for taking up your time." Tris said, standing and brushing her robes straight.
Severus stood as well.
"Not foolish. It's a good sign as a teacher to not believe everything. If you're a pushover the students will walk all over you. You'll figure it out." Severus said kindly.
Tris smiled brightly at him and laughed softly.
"If I make another blunder, I'll come talk to you." Tris said, flashing him another smile.
Severus smirked back.
"That would be acceptable." Severus said. Though he had no idea why he was making such an offer to someone he hardly knew.
"May I use your floo back to my office?" Tris asked.
"Of course." Severus said.
Severus watched as Tris disappeared into the flames. It was going to be nice having a few younger people on staff this year. Tris seemed personable enough, and he had developed a workable relationship with the mutts. Being freed from spy duty had also allowed him to drop the mask he wore nearly all the time. His relationship with the Order and his coworkers seemed to be steadily improving.
Grabbing his robes, he tossed them back on and swept out of his quarters. He needed to round up the Slytherin's that had neglected to show up for their check-ups.
Severus pushed open the doors to the hospital wing. He'd gone to the common room and collected the students that still hadn't gone. He was thankful to learn that his reluctant sixth years had all found time to go today. This felt like conformation that it was the mark that had caused them not to show up.
He was now leading a few younger years and all eight of his seventh years. He'd heard some whisper's today that the two who had not returned had been killed for not taking the mark. It was sickening.
"Please find a bed. One of us will be with you shortly." Severus said, as he walked to Poppy's office.
With a swift knock the door opened.
"Brought in the others?" Poppy asked.
Severus nodded.
"Very well. I've asked Mr. Adder to give me a hand with these last few." Poppy said, heading out of her office, followed by Mr. Adder.
Severus sneered as the man waltzed past.
"Evening Severus." Adder said.
Severus rolled his eyes. The man was as insufferable as Lockheart.
"You couldn't have asked Remus to come help?" Severus asked Poppy quietly.
Poppy gave him an unimpressed look.
"He was unavailable. Amon isn't too bad once you get to know him. I think he's just trying to make a good impression." Poppy said.
Severus kept himself from rolling his eyes again. He wasn't sure what kind of impression the man was trying to make but it rankled something with Severus. Perhaps the bubbly personality just didn't mesh well with his.
Severus was thankful when he got through the last exam. There had been a few surprises, but nothing they couldn't manage.
"You're free to go." Severus said.
The student, a fourth year who was showing some signs of neglect, popped off the bed and kept her head down as she darted away.
Severus was relieved to see that Adder had finally left.
"Anything notable?" Severus asked, as he followed Poppy to her office.
"All of the seventh years I saw have a Dark Mark. All of the seventh years and many of the sixth years show signs of trauma. After years of patching you up, I'm not surprised. There wasn't anything long-lasting or life threatening. One of your sixth years shows signs of sexual abuse though. I offered her calming draughts, and she took them with her." Poppy said looking at a page on her desk.
Severus grit his teeth.
"Who?" Severus asked.
"I told her I wouldn't share that information." Poppy answered.
Severus nodded his understanding. He would respect her privacy, though he truly wished this hadn't happened. He supposed he should be thankful that more of them hadn't been forced to face the same fate. The Dark Lord's sick appetite was something of an open secret. None of the Death Eater's talked about it, but they all knew about it.
Severus was thankful Poppy had been able to help the girl.
"Did you suggest she might want to talk to Remus?" Severus asked.
Poppy nodded.
"I told her I was available as well." Poppy said softly.
Severus nodded. He hoped the girl would seek out someone to talk to.
A chime sounded in the office and Poppy sighed.
"My last truant student. Stay here. I've got a few other student's I'd like to address with you." Poppy said.
Severus nodded and took a seat across from Poppy's desk.
Harry stood hesitantly at the entrance of the hospital wing. He really didn't want to do this. From the far end he saw Pomfrey pop out of her office. Maybe she'd just patch him up and not make a big deal out of it. He doubted it, but he could hope.
"Mr. Potter. I expected you here yesterday." Pomfrey said pointing to a bed.
Harry lowered his head before shuffling to the indicated bed. One he'd found himself in many times before, unfortunately.
"Sorry ma'am." Harry said softly.
Harry sat at the end of the bed and waited.
"This shouldn't take long. Honestly, you'd think I'd asked you all to come in to be tortured." Pomfrey complained lightly as she waved her wand.
"With as often as we've seen each other this summer, this shouldn't take any time at all." Pomfrey said.
Harry kept his head down when he heard the pop of parchment appearing.
There was some rustling as Pomfrey looked it over.
"Harry?" Pomfrey said quietly.
Harry looked up slightly and then away.
"Harry, what happened?" Pomfrey asked worriedly.
Harry just pinched his lips and refused to look at her. He wasn't going to talk about this. Shaking his head slightly, he looked back down at his clasped hands.
Pomfrey sighed.
"Take this." Pomfrey said holding out a pain potion.
Harry took it and caught the sad look on her face as he tipped his head back to swallow the potion.
"Can you please tell me how you got these injuries?" Pomfrey asked.
Harry shrugged but said nothing. He didn't want to be here anymore. His palms were beginning to sweat, and he could feel a slight shake taking over.
"May I go?" Harry asked quietly.
Pomfrey made a disgruntled noise. Harry supposed it was too much to ask that he'd be allowed to just go to dinner.
"No, you'll stay right there." Pomfrey said firmly as she walked back to her office. No doubt she would call Sirius and Remus.
Harry's shoulders slumped and he stared at his hands.
Severus was surprised when Poppy returned with a huff.
"Potter." Poppy growled.
Severus raised his eyebrow. He'd been hearing about the boy a lot today.
"Was he your last student?" Severus asked.
Poppy nodded as she dug in her potion's cupboard.
"He clearly hasn't had any of his potions or medications in days. He has two broken ribs and several that are bruised. Both of his arms are covered in abrasions. He also has some kind of abrasion on his back. Honestly, I don't know how the boy manages these things." Poppy said with a sigh.
Severus just stared at her for a moment. The abrasions to Harry's arms were almost certainly self-inflicted. It broke his heart that Harry was falling back into self-harm, instead of reaching out to any of them.
He was concerned about the broken ribs though. He knew Harry hid when he was hurt.
An unnerving thought came to mind.
"How old are the broken ribs and bruises?" Severus asked.
Poppy looked over at him and frowned.
"Hard to say. They're more than a day old, past that I couldn't say without a more intense exam. Between Harry's high magical level and physical condition, they could be a few days to over a week old. Why? What are you thinking?" Poppy asked, dropping a few potions into the pocket of her apron.
Severus was thinking that the boy had lied when he said the only injury he had was a bruise on his arm. Bile raised in his throat at the potential that something else could have happened on Diagon Alley. Why hadn't Harry just told him?
Taking a deep breath, Severus tried to remind himself that the boy had been at the Burrow, and the injuries could just as easily be from a fall from his broom.
Severus shook his head.
"I'm not sure. Did he say how he was injured?" Severus asked, standing from his chair.
"No, he wouldn't even look at me, just asked if he could leave." Poppy answered.
Severus sighed.
"I'd like to speak with him for a moment. You should call Remus. They should know Harry is injured." Severus said.
Poppy nodded and headed to the floo.
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and headed into the hospital wing.
Harry was sitting on the end of a bed close to the office. His head was down, and Severus hoped that he could get through to him.
When he approached, Harry looked up and frowned slightly before looking back down. Though Severus could see that Harry was keeping him in his sight. His back straightened, and his hands fisted in the blanket under him.
"Hello." Severus said softly coming to a stop in front of Harry.
Harry looked up and nodded.
"Hello, Sir." Harry whispered softly.
Severus folded his arms across his chest and studied the boy.
"Why did she call you?" Harry asked.
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"She didn't. I was already in her office. She's calling your parents now. Do you want to explain what's going on?" Severus asked softly.
The boy mumbled something Severus couldn't hear. Severus loathed mumbling. However, he'd not admonish the boy right now.
"I can't hear you." Severus said softly, taking a step forward.
He noticed Harry stiffen even more and frowned. He'd thought they'd made considerable progress this summer. Seeing Harry like this was upsetting to say the least. It reenforced his earlier thought about Harry not coming to any of them. They had all perhaps been too optimistic about Harry's improvements.
"Harry, will you look at me please." Severus said gently.
Harry bit his lip and raised his eyes to meet Severus'. There was fear shining behind the green eyes. Severus wondered what had happened.
"Why are you afraid of me?" Severus asked in concern.
Harry looked away and shook his head.
Severus didn't know if that meant Harry didn't think he was afraid or if he wasn't going to answer.
Severus summoned a chair and sat down across from Harry so that he was no longer standing over him. Then he charmed the curtain to pull around them for privacy.
Harry watched the curtain warily, before looking back at Severus.
"Harry, I promise I will never hurt you. I'm just here to help." Severus said calmly.
To Severus' surprise Harry's jaw clenched and anger flared in his eyes. Severus didn't understand.
"Is Pomfrey going to patch me up? Or can I go?" Harry growled through clenched teeth.
Severus sat back and studied Harry for a moment.
"You know she wont let you leave before you're healed." Severus answered neutrally.
He didn't understand the hostility. They'd not had interactions like this since last term ended.
"Harry?" Remus called, as he rounded the curtain with Sirius on his heels.
Harry stiffened even more and steadfastly stared at the floor.
"Pup, why didn't you tell us you were hurt?" Sirius asked.
Harry just shook his head.
"Harry, you need to talk to us." Remus added, stepping closer and immediately backing off when Harry noticeably flinched.
Severus met Remus' eyes and shook his head slightly. Hopefully, Remus would understand not to press. Clearly something was going on and them all ganging up on him wasn't going to make this situation better.
Remus took a deep breath and nodded.
"Madam Pomfrey is going to get you fixed up, okay?" Remus said softly.
Harry nodded once.
Severus stood and walked out from behind the curtain followed by the mutts.
"I'm not sure he'll let you heal his arms. Just focus on his ribs." Remus mumbled to poppy as she headed behind the curtain.
Severus raised his wand and cast a privacy charm around them.
"I don't understand. Why didn't he say anything?" Sirius asked, turning to Remus.
Remus sighed.
"I'm not sure. There could be a couple of possibilities. He could be feeling uncertain about our relationships with him now that were back at school. He might have felt more betrayed by us then he let on when we missed our call. Especially after not really talking to him since. We haven't exactly been available since we've been back." Remus hypothesized.
Severus considered these possibilities and discredited them. Something else was going on.
"He's afraid. Something else is happening. He coward and then got defensive with me when I was talking to him. He noticeably flinched away when you approached." Severus said.
Remus nodded.
"He did that this morning when we were talking too. He tried to just make it look like he'd stepped back but, something felt off." Sirius added.
Remus shot him a sad look.
"Do you have any ideas?" Remus asked.
Severus looked over their heads for a moment in consideration.
"I have a few theories. None of them are favorable." Severus sighed.
"Poppy couldn't determine when the injuries occurred. Harry was with many of the Slytherin's last night. I don't want to throw my own students under the Hippogriff, but I worry that there could have been an altercation. Draco seemed off last night, but he wouldn't tell me what was upsetting him." Severus explained.
"The next thought that occurs is that his own house mates may have learned who he spent his summer with and hurt him." Severus said with a sigh.
He truly hoped that wasn't the case. He and Harry had been getting along well. Even Harry and Draco had become friends to a degree. Severus would hate to see that destroyed over temperamental Gryffindors prejudice of Slytherin's. Though he well remembered Lily's treatment at times for her friendship with himself.
Remus looked worried and Sirius looked livid. Severus hoped he could stay in control. A head of house certainly could not go and accost a group of children.
"I'm mostly concerned that perhaps Harry lied to me about the incident on Diagon. Or that when he went with George something may have happened." Severus said quietly.
"Oh god." Remus said raising his hand to his mouth.
Sirius began to pace, his jaw clenched tightly, and his hands balled in fists at his sides.
"We need to get Harry to talk. I'm sure that the injuries to his arms are self-inflicted. Clearly whatever has happened is having an emotional impact. I doubt the damage to his ribs was something like a fall off his broom. Poppy mentioned an injury to his back…I'm not sure what that could be." Severus said trailing off in thought.
Remus nodded.
"We tried to talk with him earlier. He was so closed off." Remus said softly.
Severus noticed Poppy coming out from behind the curtain and waved her over.
"He took the Skele-gro and let me see the bruises. He said he would address them himself. I left him with some balm. He let me heal his arms. I didn't realize he was still hurting himself. Did you ever discuss mood potions with Harry?" Poppy asked, turning to Remus.
"No, he was doing well before he left our house. I will bring it up with him." Remus said, sighing deeply.
Severus was surprised that Harry had let Poppy heal his arms.
"What was on his back?" Severus asked.
"He wouldn't let me see. Whatever it is seems mild, could be a scratch." Poppy said, with a shrug.
Severus sighed. He knew that Harry wouldn't take down the glamor.
"I'm going to go speak with Draco. Perhaps I can get some insight." Severus said with a nod before heading out of the hospital wing.
Harry sighed as he followed Remus and Sirius into their quarters. He had pulled up his wall and reenforced it as much as he could. It was giving him a headache, but he knew there was a storm of emotions brewing just behind it.
He'd been embarrassed to have Pomfrey see his arms. He'd hidden the older scars. Even the ones she would know should be there, like the ones at his wrists and the scars from his road rash. He knew that if he didn't let Pomfrey heal them though, Remus would insist, and he didn't want them to touch him.
Pomfrey hadn't commented at all. She had just healed him, and he was thankful for that. He was also thankful that she'd let him apply his own balm to his sides. Thankfully she'd dropped the matter of his back. It was just his tattoo healing, and he didn't want anyone to know about it. Not now. Not when it now all felt like a lie.
He knew that Remus and Sirius were upset with him. He'd been disrespectful in there office and then acted like a child refusing to say anything in the hospital wing.
"These are our quarters. The password is Marauders." Remus said guiding them into the comfortable rooms.
"I'll give you a quick tour and then we can eat." Remus said softly.
Harry nodded numbly. He just wanted to head back to the tower.
"This obviously is the sitting room." Remus said waving his arm around. It was in darker tones then the cottage, but it still felt very much like their space. There were warm looking blankets draped over the sitting options, books stacked in haphazard piles, a warm fire burning. It was very cozy.
"This is the kitchen and dining area." Remus pointed out.
Harry just glanced at the space. Sirius kept sending him worried looks. It was starting to unnerve Harry.
Swallowing thickly Harry followed them down the hall. It was a tighter space, and he was already feeling on edge being alone with them.
"This is our room." Remus said, gently pushing one door open.
Harry didn't even glance in the direction of the door.
"This is the bathroom." Remus said, tapping the next door.
Harry looked and saw a lavish bathroom. He wondered if all the staff had such nice accommodations. He supposed with magic most things were possible.
"This is our office. Though I doubt will use it much. We've both got offices to work in and we're both likely to land in front of the fire to mark at the end of the night." Remus said with a light tone.
Harry didn't feel light though. He felt anxious.
"This is your room." Remus said, pushing the last door open across the hall from the office.
Harry's brows furrowed. He had his own room in their quarters. Why?
Harry hesitated and walked a little closer. He noticed that the walls had been decorated. There were a few quidditch posters, a clock, and a calendar above a desk.
The bed had gold sheets and a fluffy dark green duvet.
"Your always welcome to come here Harry." Remus said with a soft smile.
Harry glanced over at Sirius. He still looked worried, and Harry looked away. He felt angry at himself for assuming that they had knowingly hurt him. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he wasn't. Sometimes the Dursley's would offer him something nice after they would do something horrible. Then they'd snatch it away.
Harry wrapped his arms around his stomach. He didn't want to think about any of it. He didn't want to play those kinds of games anymore. Hogwarts was supposed to be a safe place away from all of that. It didn't feel like that right now though.
"Let's go sit and have some dinner. It's been a long day." Remus said.
Harry nodded. He appreciated that they hadn't brought up anything. However, he knew it was coming.
Draco stared at the plate in front of him. Today hadn't been a bad day but he was still ruminating about what had happened with Harry last night. He wished he could just take the whole interaction back.
"Mr. Malfoy, come with me." Severus growled from over his shoulder.
Draco startled and looked up. Severus looked stern. Draco wondered what he'd managed to do now.
"Good luck, he looks angry." Teddy whispered.
Draco nodded and stood from his seat before following Severus out of the great hall. He was unsurprised to find himself following Severus down to the dungeons and into his quarters. Severus didn't like to have private conversations where others might hear.
Draco wondered what had happened. He knew Severus had taken a handful of students to the hospital wing earlier. He'd seen the students come to dinner, but Severus had never shown up.
"Sit." Severus snapped.
Draco sighed and sat on the couch.
Severus took his normal spot in his armchair and studied Draco intently. Draco squirmed slightly. He didn't know what was wrong but obviously something.
"I want to know exactly what happened last night." Severus said.
Draco's brows creased.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked.
"I want to know everything that happened. I don't want any dancing around or shortened versions. You clearly didn't tell me everything. That was obvious last night. Now I have concerns about what happened and you're going to answer or there's going to be consequences." Severus growled.
Draco swallowed thickly. He didn't want to tell Severus what he'd done. He knew he'd messed up.
"Speak." Severus barked.
Draco nodded and began with how Harry had followed him to the room where his year mates had been waiting. He explained that he was sitting with the boys talking and Harry had been talking to Pansy and Millie.
"Harry looked shaky when he came to the table we were sitting at. The boys asked what he wanted for removing the mark, and he told them nothing. He removed Gregs, then Vince's, then Teddy's." Draco said.
"Was there more conversation? How long did it take?" Severus asked.
"Um…no it was quick. Harry barely even touched their arms. Did his hissing and then let go." Draco said.
Severus nodded.
"What happened after?" Severus asked.
Draco sighed.
"Harry seemed upset. I tried to see if he was all right. He just brushed me off and left." Draco said.
Severus made a continue motion with his hand and Draco hesitated.
"Er…I think the next part falls under the Slytherin code." Draco said unsurely.
Severus raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair, once again studying Draco.
"I appreciate your loyalty to your house Draco but I'm going to insist on knowing." Severus said.
Draco bit his lip and bounced his leg a little. He didn't want to make it sound like he was accusing Harry of anything. He also didn't want to share what had happened to Millie. Though he knew that was a factor in how upset Pansy had been.
"It can stay here Draco. Something happened today that has me concerned. I need to know if what happened last night was a factor." Severus explained.
Draco looked at Severus in concern.
"Pansy said something I know to be untrue. I was angry but I didn't correct them because I knew they weren't going to just take my word for it." Draco tried to explain.
Severus nodded.
"What did Ms. Parkinson say?" Severus asked quietly.
Draco cleared his throat and stared at his hands. Maybe he should have just told Severus last night.
"Pansy said Harry was trying to get something out of removing her mark." Draco muttered.
Severus sat forward slightly, studying him in curiosity.
"Which was?" Severus asked.
Draco sighed.
"Sex." Draco whispered. He could feel his cheeks heating slightly in embarrassment.
There was a heavy silence that hung for a moment and Draco looked up to Severus. The man had a pinched look on his face.
"Did he?" Severus asked neutrally.
Draco shook his head quickly.
"No. She just misunderstood what he was saying. He just wanted to talk to her. He asked for a few minutes in private because it was a private matter. She thought he was trying to get her alone for… well something else." Draco tried to explain.
Severus sat back and had a look of deep contemplation on his face.
"What did the other's think of Pansy's accusation?" Severus asked.
Draco thought back to that moment.
"The girls looked annoyed. I… I think maybe they were teasing Harry before he came over to us. I heard them laughing." Draco answered.
"And the boys?" Severus asked.
"They looked angry." Draco answered quietly.
Severus nodded.
There was a pause and Draco hoped that this would be the end of the conversation. He didn't want to get into what had happened after.
"Draco, did your friends attack Harry?" Severus asked quietly.
Draco was momentarily shocked by the question.
"No. They all went back to the common room." Draco said defensively.
Severus nodded.
"You were still in the hall after curfew. Did you and Harry get into a fight?" Severus asked.
"No…well…sort of." Draco said with a sigh.
Severus said nothing, just stared at Draco until he felt uncomfortable.
"I messed up." Draco admitted quietly.
Severus nodded for Draco to continue.
"I was walking back with the others when I heard something. I held back and when they headed to the common room I followed the sound. I found Harry. He was crying." Draco started.
Draco felt a tightening in his stomach. He wished he understood why he'd behaved the way he had.
Severus' lips were pinched tight like he was trying not to comment.
"I asked what was wrong, but he just brushed me off. I…I felt angry. I thought he and I were becoming friends, but he wouldn't talk to me." Draco admitted sadly.
Severus nodded as he listened.
"I confronted him with Pansy's accusation. I know she was wrong, but I was just angry. He denied it and explained what he wanted to talk to her about." Draco said.
"What was it that he thought needed to be talked about in private?" Severus asked.
Draco sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"When he killed Teddy's dad and Pansy's uncle he became lord of both houses. He was really upset about the whole thing. Talking about how it was unforgivable. He wanted to talk to them about giving them the lordships. A way of making amens I think." Draco explained.
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
"When did he learn this?" Severus asked.
Draco shrugged.
"When he went to Gringotts, I think." Draco answered quietly.
"What happened next?" Severus asked with an exacerbated sigh.
Draco didn't want to go into what had happened.
"Please Severus. I…I really don't want to talk about it." Draco whispered.
Severus leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him.
"I need to know Draco." Severus said softly.
Draco swallowed and nodded.
"I spent all day yesterday looking for Harry. When I found him, he was out on the pitch. He seemed off, but he said he was fine. Last night when he told me about the lordships, he started crying. I felt really bad for him. I wanted to help him. He grabbed at his side like he had earlier, and I was concerned. I told him he should go to Pomfrey. I even suggested we could just go to your office." Draco said.
Severus' brows furrowed and he nodded.
"He got defensive. He looked so angry. I didn't really understand. He asked why I thought it was my business…." Draco said trailing off.
"What did you say?" Severus prompted.
Draco sighed.
"I said the wrong thing. I was angry and I was hurt that he was pushing me away." Draco said quietly.
Draco took a deep breath before he answered.
"I said, It's been my business since I had to help scrape your bloody body off your bedroom floor." Draco whispered.
"Draco." Severus admonished.
Severus stared at the pale boy in front of him. He couldn't believe what Draco had said.
"We talked about this. Why would you bring that up? Especially like that." Severus said, his voice rising slightly.
Draco shook his head and sniffled a little.
"Because it's true. I… I've been worried about him. After…after what happened I can't stand the thought of him being hurt. I didn't understand why he wouldn't let me help him." Draco cried.
Severus took a deep breath. He understood what Draco was saying. However, it still wasn't the right thing to have said.
"What happened after?" Severus asked.
Draco bit his lip.
"I knew I'd messed up. Harry turned away from me and I reached out to stop him. I wanted to apologize. I was reaching for his arm, but I caught his shirt. He started screaming for me not to touch him and he turned, and his shirt ripped." Draco said mournfully.
"I swear Sev, I didn't mean to do it." Draco said pleadingly.
Severus nodded. He could only imagine how upset Harry had been.
"His side was all bruised up. I don't know what happened. I thought maybe he'd gotten into a fight…Or maybe he'd been attacked on the train…no one was with him for most of the trip. I don't know. He just ran off after that. Then you found me a few minutes later." Draco concluded.
Severus sat back. So, Harry had already been hurt last night.
"When did you find him on the pitch?" Severus asked.
"Before dinner." Draco answered.
Severus nodded. This might explain the heavy self-harm. Being accused of trying to trade for sex almost certainly had upset Harry. Draco adding to that accusation and then grabbing him had probably triggered him. It still didn't explain the broken ribs and bruises.
"I'm disappointed in you Draco. Harry did something exceedingly kind for us, and your friends, and you repaid him by throwing some very hurtful things at him." Severus admonished.
Draco nodded sadly.
"I know. I wanted to talk to him today. He just kept disappearing. I don't know where. He's in Charms with me but I didn't see him after class or at lunch and he never showed up for dinner. I want to apologize. I really like having him as a friend. I didn't mean to mess things up so badly." Draco said.
Severus sighed. He wouldn't interfere in childish squabbles. However, he did feel it was important to talk to Harry. It didn't feel right to just let what had happened not be acknowledged.
"Harry will probably forgive you Draco. He is a very forgiving person. You need to show he can trust you though. You know things about this summer that most other people don't know. You can't use that against him though." Severus said.
Draco nodded miserably.
"I know." Draco whispered.
"Very well. You should head to your dorm. I expect you in my office after dinner tomorrow for detention." Severus said quietly.
Draco looked at him disbelievingly before his shoulders fell and he nodded.
"Night Sev." Draco said as he left.
Severus sat back in his chair and just stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. This was a mess, and it was only the first day of classes.
Harry sighed as he left Sirius and Remus' rooms. They'd tried to ask more questions after dinner, but he just shut down. They'd eventually dismissed him for the night. They'd said that they loved him and that he could always come to them. He supposed they were being honest, but something was still twisting uncomfortably in his stomach.
He glanced at his watch and saw that there was still an hour before curfew. He shrugged his bag higher on his back and headed to the staircase.
When he reached the staircase at the bottom of the astronomy tower he listened carefully. He wanted to be alone. When he heard nothing, he headed up the stairs.
He felt relieved when he pushed the door open. Then he felt a shimmer of a memory at the edge of his mind. Something about Remus. He pushed it away. He'd thought about them both enough for one night.
With a sigh, he flopped down against the wall and pulled his bag from his pocket. Taking out his Walkman he put his headphones on and pressed play, leaning his head against the cool wall. He slowly lowered his shield and felt the tears trickle down his face. He'd been so looking forward to the normalcy of school. This year wasn't normal at all though. Nothing felt right.
Harry dug in his bag until he found his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Popping one out of the pack, Harry lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. He closed his eyes and allowed the music to swallow him.
Harry was startled when his shoe was unexpectedly kicked. His eyes flew open, expecting he'd been caught by a teacher.
Blonde hair shined like silver in the low light and sad grey eyes looked down at him. Harry felt his stomach flutter a little and his heart clench painfully. He still didn't understand his feelings for Draco but after seeing him with Blaise he supposed it didn't matter.
He pulled his headphones off and took another drag off of his cigarette.
"I'm sorry." Draco said softly.
Harry could see how sorry he was. He didn't want to lose Draco as his friend. Ron and Hermione cared but they didn't understand.
He nodded and was surprised to see Draco sit down next to him.
"I don't have my headphones." Draco said quietly.
Harry shrugged and put his headphones back on. A moment later Draco's head was resting against his. His heart raced a little and his face felt warm. He really liked sitting like this with Draco. As horrible as he'd felt the last few days this was the most at peace he'd felt since they'd left the Burrow.
They sat comfortably together for a few songs before Draco sat up. Harry mourned the loss of Draco's warmth. He kept his face neutral though as he pulled his headphones off.
Draco stared straight ahead, but Harry watched his face, taking in small details. Draco had just a touch of hair starting to grow on his face. In the light of day, it wouldn't be noticeable as it was the same white blonde. He wondered what it would feel like under his hand.
Draco also had a slight scar in his right eyebrow. Harry wondered how he'd gotten it.
"I really am sorry about what I said last night. All of it. I knew Pansy was wrong. I should have just asked what was going on, instead of making the same stupid claims. And…I…I'm sorry for what I said after. It's none of my business…I just… I care." Draco said, turning and looking at Harry.
Harry could see a slight redness to his eyes, and they shimmered with withheld tears.
"I shouldn't have grabbed you either. I'm sorry." Draco said softly, looking away.
Harry leaned back. He didn't want to think about how upset he'd been last night. He was thankful for Draco's apology and hoped that meant they could just move on now. He was having problems with everyone else. He didn't want to not be speaking with Draco either.
"I forgive you." Harry said quietly.
They sat quietly for a few more minutes before Draco broke the silence.
"Did you get the bruises healed." Draco asked.
"Yeah." Harry sighed.
"Severus dragged me away from dinner to interrogate me about what happened last night. I think…I think he thought that maybe my friends attacked you. Did they? I know they didn't last night... But were they the ones that hurt you? On the train or something?" Draco asked hesitantly.
Harry closed his eyes.
"No." Harry whispered out.
Harry thought about what had happened. He wished he wasn't so afraid of admitting it. He was afraid though. Afraid that it had been on purpose. Afraid that despite all they had said they had hurt him anyway. Tonight felt like a test. He'd been asked what had happened and he hadn't told. Just like the school nurse in primary, he had said nothing.
"Can you tell me what happened?" Draco asked softly from beside him.
Harry felt hot tears spill down his face.
"It's okay." Draco whispered.
Harry longed to lean against him and just cry. It was pathetic.
"Sirius and Remus and Snape." Harry whispered softly.
Draco leaned forward at that and turned at the waist to look at Harry.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked in confusion.
Harry swallowed thickly. He'd never so boldly accused anyone of anything like this. Even his relatives. It had all been known beforehand and he had just confirmed or filled in parts of the story.
"It's where the bruises came from. I'm scared. I don't want to get in more trouble." Harry whimpered as he pulled his knees to his chest and buried his head. He tried to focus on his breathing, but a sob bubbled up and more tears forced their way out.
Draco's mind spun at Harry's statement. Draco didn't know Black and Lupin hardly at all but he knew Severus. The man would never hurt someone he cared about like that. An enemy maybe but certainly not a student. Draco knew that he really cared about Harry. There's no way that he'd done something to hurt Harry on purpose.
"We're you training or something?" Draco asked.
He didn't think there had been a chance for that since they'd been back at school, but he knew Harry had been training hard all summer.
Harry shook his head. Though Draco had nearly missed it given all the other shaking the small form next to him was doing.
Draco sighed and raised his hand and gently set it on Harry's back. Harry flinched and Draco pulled his hand back.
"Sorry." Draco said softly.
Harry mumbled into his knees, but Draco couldn't understand it.
Draco sighed.
"Why do you think you're going to get in trouble?" Draco asked softly.
Harry sniffled a moment and turned his head, so he was looking at Draco.
"Because I told you." Harry admitted quietly.
Draco's jaw clenched. He'd heard the same heartbreaking sentiments from classmates before they could be talked into going to Severus. Some were abuse cases. Some were being bullied. He'd even heard it from a classmate whose boyfriend was hurting him.
He took a breath to calm himself. Harry was really scared and hurting over this. He needed to keep his emotions in check as best as he could.
"Severus would want to know, Harry. He cares about you. If he hurt you, he'd want to know. I don't think he does. He asked me a bunch of questions tonight trying to figure out what was going on." Draco tried to reason.
Harry's brows furrowed and he shrugged a little.
"What if you're wrong? What if they know and they just don't care? Or they were trying to find out if I told? What if it was punishment? What if I get in trouble again?" Harry asked, his voice shaking fearfully.
Draco sighed.
"They're not your relative's." Draco said firmly.
Harry looked a little shocked. His cheeks glowed red with shame and embarrassment. With his jaw clenched a little Harry looked away as another tear slipped down his face.
"Listen, I don't know what happened with them. Obviously, some horrible shit you shouldn't have had to deal with. But Harry, I've known Severus my whole life. Regardless of what you think of me or my parents, I want you to know that they never laid a hand on me. Severus probably would have removed their hands if they had even thought about it." Draco said.
Harry brought a hand up and wiped some tears from his face as Draco talked. Draco longed to gather the other boy in his arms and wipe away his tears. Tell him he didn't need to be afraid. That everything would be okay.
"I mean it. Severus doesn't tolerate people hurting kids. Half of the Slytherin prefects' job is to watch out for injuries. Abuse, bullying, anything else that seems off. Severus is very protective of us. Please trust me when I say I don't believe Severus hurt you on purpose. I don't know what happened, but I think you should talk to him." Draco said.
Harry looked unsure.
"Can you trust me?" Draco whispered, reaching out and tentatively setting his hand on Harry's arm.
Harry didn't flinch this time. He stared at the hand and smiled a little before he nodded hesitantly.
"Okay." Draco said, smiling a little and rubbing Harry's arm.
"Come on. If we go now, will get there before curfew." Draco said, pulling his hand from Harry's arm and standing up.
Harry looked at him with sad eyes, but Draco just held his hand out for him with a reassuring nod.
Harry took his hand, and Draco pulled him to his feet. Draco held onto his hand a little longer then necessary. He wanted to lace his fingers into Harry's, but he tried to remind himself that he was trying to just be Harry's friend.
Draco nodded and led them down the stairs.
Severus rubbed his temples. He'd talked to Lupin briefly to let him know that Draco didn't know what had happened. He didn't tell him about the fight between Draco and Harry. While he was sure that it upset Harry, he would try and address it himself. He'd already promised not to share what Draco had told him.
Lupin said Harry hadn't said a word while he'd been in their quarters. Severus didn't know what to make of the whole situation. He knew Harry was hesitant to ever admit when he was hurt. This felt like more then that. It was like watching all the work they'd done this summer dissolve.
Harry wasn't eating, he didn't look like he was sleeping, he was hurting himself again, and most importantly he wasn't coming to them.
Severus pulled himself from his armchair and stretched. He needed to check on his Slytherin's. He hoped everyone was in for the night. He didn't have the energy to go chase anyone down.
Suddenly there was a chime that indicated that someone had knocked on his office door.
Severus groaned. At this hour it was almost certainly a prefect. His mind supplied that Draco and Pansy were on patrol tonight.
He walked through the door and into his office. He quickly glanced around and made sure nothing was laying out before he approached the office door.
When he pulled the door open, he did in fact find Draco. However, instead of Ms. Parkinson, Harry stood slightly behind Draco. His arms were wrapped around his stomach, and he had his head down.
"What's going on Draco?" Severus asked, casting worried looks over at Harry.
Draco glanced over his shoulder at Harry.
Draco's jaw clenched as he turned back to face Severus.
"I don't think we should do this in the hall." Draco said quietly.
Severus nodded before opening the door and stepping aside to let his students in. He noticed Harry seemed to shrink in on himself even more as he entered the office. Severus only considered for a moment before he opened the door into his private rooms and motioned the boys inside.
He didn't know what was going on, but the cold and uninviting environment of his office wasn't going to make any conversation easier.
Harry hesitated in the office and sent wary glances at Severus through his hair. Severus felt confusion at the boy's obvious fearful behavior. He'd seen it mostly early in the summer. However, outside of a few incidents were Harry was obviously panicking, this level of hesitation hadn't been present between them for quite some time. Today had been different. Like in the hospital wing Harry was noticeably holding himself away from him.
Draco reached out and to Severus' surprise took one of Harry's hands and all but dragged him into Severus' quarters.
"It's okay. I told you, you're safe." Draco murmured.
Severus' brows drew together as he heard Draco. He agreed that they were safe here, but why was Draco trying to reassure Harry of that?
Severus pulled the door closed and called a house elf.
"What can Bippy do for you Master Severus?" The elf said with a low bow.
"Please inform Ms. Parkinson that Mr. Malfoy is not available for patrol tonight. She should have Mr. Barns accompany her." Severus explained.
Bippy nodded and popped away.
Severus watched the boy's curiously and with concern. Draco had sat down on the couch and appeared to be trying to convince Harry to join him. Draco was talking softly and seemed to be deeply concerned about Harry.
Severus cleared his throat as he took his regular armchair.
"Take a seat Harry." Severus said quietly.
Harry shot him an unsure look before nodding and sitting on the far side of Draco. Severus frowned as it almost seemed like Harry was hiding behind Draco, which was even more unusual.
"Would you like to tell me what's going on, Harry?" Severus asked.
He kept his face and voice neutral.
Harry sighed and looked down at his clasped hands. Severus could see the boy's fingernails digging into the tops of his hands. He was clearly distressed.
Harry shook his head and mumbled something to Draco who nodded.
"Harry told me that the bruises that I saw were caused by you and his guardians." Draco deadpanned.
Severus couldn't control the shocked look that washed over his face.
"What?" Severus asked in confusion.
Harry glanced at him briefly. His sad green eyes shown with tears and fear. Severus swallowed thickly at the distrust he could see in Harry's face.
Severus met Draco's intense gaze.
"I didn't hurt Harry." Severus said firmly looking at Draco.
To Severus' surprise Harry popped up and whispered something in Draco's ear before attempting to leave.
Draco's hand shot out and caught Harry's.
"You're not going to get in trouble, Harry." Draco said softly back.
Harry's whole body was shaking, and he kept glancing at Severus.
Severus took a deep breath and brought up his mental shields.
"Harry, do you want a calming draught?" Severus offered, withdrawing one from his pocket. He'd carried one of Harry's special calming draughts since he had begun brewing them.
Harry looked at it distrustfully and shook his head. Severus frowned and placed the vial on the table. A subtle reminder to Harry that it would always be available to him.
"Harry could you please explain what Draco meant?" Severus asked.
Harry sighed and bit his lip.
"I did something I shouldn't have done. I'm sorry. I know it was punishment. I'm sorry I told Draco. I... I'm sorry." Harry said shakily.
Severus' brows creased even more. He had no idea what the boy was talking about.
Just as he opened his mouth there was another chime indicating there was someone at his office door. Severus groaned as he stood and went to see which of the dunderheads it was now.
He found Ms. Parkinson. She informed him that Mr. Barns, the fifth-year prefect, was in the infirmary with a stomachache.
Severus rubbed his temple and asked her to wait before he closed the door. He would need to send Draco with her. It wasn't safe to send her with a seventh year and he did not allow them to patrol on their own.
Draco gave him a defiant look before casting worried glances at Harry. Eventually he nodded and whispered something to Harry before he left in a huff to join Ms. Parkinson in the hall.
Severus considered for a moment how to go about this. He very much felt like he was back to square one with Harry and he hated it. Even the breakdown of trust over the summer had not resulted in fear, just a lack of communication.
Harry was saying that he and the mutts had caused his injuries so he couldn't even call them to deal with their child.
With a deep breath Severus retook his seat and studied Harry.
"Harry, will you look at me please?" Severus asked.
Harry took a couple of deep breaths and looked up at Severus. He also noticed that Harry had straightened his posture and had his hands in tight, fists down next to his legs. He was getting defensive. Did he think Severus was going to attack him?
Severus took a deep breath and kept eye contact with the boy. Harry did not copy him. He just stared challengingly.
"You told Draco that I hurt you. I'd like to understand how that happened." Severus said calmly.
Harry gave him a wary look and nodded slightly.
"I…I don't want to get in trouble." Harry said worriedly.
Severus nodded his understanding.
"I understand. I think I need to hear the whole story to know if you should be in trouble or not." Severus explained. He didn't want to say there would be no punishment. The boy had a habit of doing rather dangerous things.
The boy released a shaky breath and nodded resignedly.
"Harry." Severus called.
Harry looked up through his hair.
"I'm not going to hurt you. Even if you're in trouble. Please think back to this summer. When you were in trouble this summer you were on restriction. Right?" Severus asked quietly.
Harry nodded.
"For five years you've been in trouble with me. Have I ever done anything at school to hurt you?" Severus asked.
He regretted the question immediately as the boy looked away from him.
Occlumency.
Severus sighed and mentally berated Albus and himself.
"Right." Severus said with a sigh, before running his hand into his hair stressfully.
"Is there anything that I can do to make you more comfortable?" Severus asked.
Harry just shrugged.
"I could call Minerva if you'd like." Severus suggested.
He was maybe grasping at straws. However, if his head of house and the school counselor were both going to be in the same boat, and they were also his parents, he wasn't sure who might make Harry comfortable. He felt bad that he'd had to send Draco away. There just hadn't really been a way around it.
"No thank you, Professor." Harry answered.
They sat in silence for a few moments. Severus tried to think back to everything that had happened recently. He had no idea how he could have hurt the boy. He'd hardly seen him since they'd returned to the school, and he hadn't been behaving like this when Severus left him with the Weasleys.
"Draco asked me to remove his friends Dark Marks." Harry said slightly above a whisper.
Severus nodded. He wondered if the boy was just going to talk about something else instead. Harry frequently changed subjects when he was feeling uncomfortable. Severus would let him talk about whatever he wanted to.
"I…I told Draco I would meet him. I was…I was under my cloak." Harry continued.
Severus nodded. Draco had already told him that Harry had followed under his cloak to keep suspicions down.
"I wasn't sure where he was. I was just going to walk down here and hope I found him." Harry said.
Severus brows furrowed. Hadn't Draco said that he'd known that Harry was following him?
"But when I saw him, you were with him, and you looked busy. I just followed. I figured when he was done, we could talk." Harry said, fiddling with his cuffs.
Severus was confused. He hadn't seen Draco until after they had already removed the Slytherin's marks. He was also concerned with Harry's fiddling. Poppy said the boy had really hurt himself.
"It took a while, and I just hung back…I Er…I had shifted into my Animagus. When Draco left, I followed. I didn't expect to…Well, I didn't expect to run into Sirius and Remus…Everything just got kind of crazy all at once. I didn't want to get in trouble. It was after curfew." Harry said, twisting his hands together.
Severus' brows drew together again, and he started putting pieces together. Harry hadn't been talking about last night. He was talking about the first night back in the castle.
"Lupin kicked you." Severus breathed softly.
Harry shrugged a little and nodded.
"How did the bruises happen on your other side?" Severus asked, dreading the answer.
"I was trying to get away from them and you opened the door really hard." Harry all but whispered.
Severus grit his teeth. He didn't know that Harry was there. He certainly hadn't even considered that they'd been the ones to hurt him.
"We didn't know you were there Harry." Severus tried to reassure.
Harry looked unconvinced.
"Harry you were invisible. I'm sorry you got hurt, but how could we possibly have known you were there?" Severus asked neutrally.
Harry bit his lip and twisted his hands a little more.
"The map was gone when I…after…I know they took it, or you did…I…I thought maybe they were there because they'd seen me on it." Harry whispered quietly.
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. He had no idea what the boy was talking about, and his head was starting to throb.
Severus stood abruptly and cringed when he saw Harry flinch back.
"I'm going to call your parents. This needs to be cleared up Harry." Severus said with a sigh.
Harry just seemed to crumple in on himself.
"Remus Lupin's Quarter's, Hogwarts." Severus called out and tossed in the floo powder.
"What is it Severus?" Sirius called back.
Severus looked back over his shoulder. Harry was shutting down.
"I need you and Lupin to come to my quarter's please." Severus said.
There was a slight pause.
"We'll be right through." Remus answered.
Severus closed the floo and turned back to address Harry.
He knelt down in front of the boy and pried one of his hands loose from the other. He was shaking and hyperventilating.
Severus took his hand and placed it in the middle of his chest. Harry's hand felt warm against his chest.
"Harry, listen to my voice. You're okay. You're safe. Follow my breathing, all right?" Severus said.
Taking long deep breaths. He continued to breathe this way even after he heard the floo flare behind him.
Harry took shuttering breaths. Soon tears fell down his cheeks and he was trying to pull his hand away. Severus released his hand.
"I'm sorry. So sorry." Harry mumbled.
Severus sighed.
"It's okay. The bathroom is through that door. Why don't you take a minute and then come talk to us." Severus said gesturing over his shoulder.
Harry's eyes darted to the door and then over Severus' other shoulder, realizing his parents were here too. The boy's face grew red, and he nodded.
Severus stood and stepped away from Harry. He jumped to his feet and disappeared into the bathroom.
Severus sighed and turned to the mutts.
Remus listened as Severus explained what had happened. He felt sick that they'd hurt Harry. That he'd hurt Harry. It was even worse that Harry thought they'd done it on purpose. All of their work this summer had been trying to convince Harry that he was safe. That he was in a safe place, and with safe people.
"What is this map?" Severus asked.
Remus sighed and pulled the map from his pocket. He'd taken to carrying it around just in case there was a problem.
"We made it back in school. It's the whole castle and grounds. It tracks everyone and everything. We used it for pranks. We lost it near the end of our seventh year. Somehow Harry got it before his third year. I…I kept it after his suicide attempt. When we knew we were coming back to the school I wanted a way to find him if there was an issue." Remus explained.
Severus glared. Remus couldn't blame him. Between the map and the cloak, Severus had never really stood a chance to get away from them.
Severus took the piece of parchment from Remus' hands and flipped it this way and that.
"This is what I took from Potter that night." Severus growled.
Remus nodded. He'd said some really hurtful things to Harry that night. He and Harry had talked about it while they'd been at the cottage. Harry had tried to dance around it, but Remus had pushed a little and when Harry had repeated back what he'd said, he'd felt horrible.
With a sigh Severus handed the map back, a slight wrinkle in it where he'd grabbed it tightly.
"How do you suggest we go about reassuring the boy that we didn't intentionally hurt him. He's scared and I'm not sure how to help him." Severus said.
Remus considered.
"I think we just need to be honest about how this was an accident. Apologize for what happened. Check in on how he is doing now. Then…hope he is willing to forgive. I don't think there is much else we can do at the moment. Hopefully, we haven't done to much damage. Although this does explain some of his behavior." Remus admitted.
Severus nodded.
"I didn't mention it earlier when I called but Draco told me that when Harry was helping the Slytherin's one of them said something I imagine was rather upsetting. I told Draco I'd keep it between us, but you may want to ask Harry about it at some point." Severus added.
Remus sighed and nodded. He'd like to push Severus to just tell him, but it wasn't top priority right now.
Remus looked over to Sirius who had an intense look on his face.
"You okay, Pads?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded.
"Just frustrated that he's hurt again. I know that it was an accident but I just… He's had enough, you know?" Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.
Remus gave him a sad and understanding look. He did know. They all knew how dreadful things had been for Harry.
The door to the bathroom cracked open and Harry peaked out at them. He quickly averted his eyes but still walked into the room. His arms wrapped around his stomach as he walked into the middle of the room.
"Why don't you take a seat Harry." Remus suggested.
Harry shook his head and Remus nodded before sitting back a little.
"Harry I'm really sorry about what happened. We really didn't know you were there pup. I know that doesn't change what happened but I'm hoping we can talk about it and try and move past." Remus said.
Harry just shrugged.
"It's fine, I'm fine. Sorry…about all of it…I…" Harry muttered and shrugged.
"Harry, stop please. You don't owe us an apology. You didn't do anything wrong. No, you shouldn't have been out after curfew, but I think Sirius and I would be rather hypocritical to be to upset about that." Remus said, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Harry just shrugged.
Remus considered Harry for a few minutes. He seemed very tense.
"Thank you for coming and talking to Severus, Harry. I know this is difficult but it's important for you to talk to us." Remus said.
Harry nodded.
"Can...Er. Can I go now?" Harry asked awkwardly.
Remus considered Harry for a moment. He really did want to talk to Harry. It was late though, and Harry had already had an exceptionally long day.
"I'm sure you're tired. I'd like you to come to my office tomorrow please." Remus said.
Harry sighed and nodded.
He glanced at all three of them from under his shaggy hair.
"Goodnight, Professors." Harry said quietly.
Remus heart felt heavy at the address. Yes, they were his professors but, they were his parents too. He could feel Harry pushing them away and it was painful.
"Goodnight, Pup." Sirius said, with a sad smile.
Harry nodded and made a quick exit out of Severus quarters.
Remus sighed.
"That went poorly." Severus grumbled.
Remus nodded.
"It certainly could have gone better." Remus said.
"Did you have a chance to talk to Harry about potions?" Sirius asked.
Severus shook his head.
"I'm sure Hermione will say something to him. There are notices in all the common rooms that the NEWT classes are all taking a grade level lower than normal because of how OWLs were interrupted." Remus said.
"How would you like to move forward. We still need to talk to him about what happened in Diagon. I'd also like someone to address the obvious relapse into self-harm." Severus said.
Remus sighed and reached out and took Sirius' hand.
"I'll speak with him tomorrow and see how things go. I think we may need to just give him a little space. He's been hurt by us. Physically, but more importantly emotionally. I think it will take a little time for him to really accept that we didn't mean to hurt him. I think he will come around, but he's clearly spent this week convincing himself that we did this on purpose." Remus said quietly, squeezing Sirius hand slightly.
"I think that he probably panicked when this happened and is likely trying to understand. Despite this summer, the majority of his life, pain has been followed with more pain. I suspect there have also been a lot of lies. Especially around his own safety. I doubt Harry believes us right now, that he is safe." Remus explained.
Severus nodded.
"When we originally talked, he seemed more afraid that he would get in more trouble." Severus said.
Remus nodded.
With one last squeeze of Sirius hand, Remus stood.
"Thank you for calling us. We will let you to your evening." Remus said softly.
Severus nodded before Remus and Sirius floo'd back to their quarters.