His room was fully swept. Glitter bombs, disarmed, spring traps, safely sprung, electric shock traps, drained and diffused. He was sweating like a stuck pig, but they were safe... at leas in here. He could here the screams, he even recognized who they were from. Lacy and Lynn were first, then came Sam, Luna, Lina, Lyra, and Lemy, finally Darna and Stella. He swore he heard Lyle, Leina, and Bed after that... but no Leni. What she had done wasn't his concern yet. He would save his sisters and children after he had captured Luan. He had a plan that he was starting to implement as they were playing defense... he only hoped they would pull through.
They would be safe here with all the traps sprung, for now. All they had to do was wait. The phone rang, he was certain it would be Luan, so when he saw Lisa's smiling face at her desk holding Lulu he quickly answered. It was a video call, he could tell Lisa was sealed in her panic room.
"Hurry it up, Todd! We need to make sure everything is stable down here! I want all systems thoroughly checked! Is Lulu sealed in her room?!"
"Yes, all items present and accounted for, and the young miss is safe. We are totally, 'April Fools,' proof ma'am!"
"Don't ever believe that! That's exactly how safe rooms 1-17 felt, and they all failed!"
"This one is electronically sealed, the only way in and out is with a 10 digit randomized code that only I know, I'd like to see her try."
She turned to the camera, "Lincoln, are you safe still? Has she-"
"I'm safe," he assured, "Me and Liby both. We just un Luaned my bedroom and we're guarding the door."
"Have you barricaded the outside of the house?!"
"Lisa," He smiled, "I'm on the top floor... She's crazy but she's not a supervillain for god's sake," He heard as Reina and Bobby screamed, begging for mercy, before letting loose two, very feminine, blood curdling scream, "Well... not an Actionman villain... more of an Ace Savvy villain."
"Never think your safe! You know that's when you're the least safe!" The door started beeping, "W-wait... Todd! Why is the door clicking?!"
"I-I don't know ma'am! T-There's no way that..." The door cracked and a grenade with a person holding their nose rolled on in, "... Oh my..."
The grenade exploded and the robot and Lisa both fell to the ground coughing and holding back vomit, "C-can't breathe!"
As Lisa gasped Todd vomited oil and bolts, "W-why ma'am! Why did you give me the ability to smell?!"
"To detect... chemical spills," Lisa gagged, Laughter permeated the thick air as Luan entered, clothes pin on her nose, Lisa grabbed her pant leg, "Y-you monster! There's no external ventilation in here!"
Luan knelt down to her grinning, "Well, that design flaw really... 'stinks,'" She turned to Lincoln, dragging their younger sister away from the door, her only escape, "Hiding still, little bro?" she laughed, "Still the sweet scared little boy."
"Luan..." he calmly growled, "You're not getting away with this... you know I can't let you menace our family."
"Oh, I'm so scared," She grinned as she brought something into frame, "I'd love to talk longer, little bro," Lulu smiled at her father with a pin on her nose, hugging her aunt, "But me and little Lulu here have an aunty niece date to attend."
"Luan, don't you do anything to that baby!"
She grinned, "Why don't you come out and stop me?"
He turned to Liby who looked on in shock, "D-dad..."
"Baby I..."
"Go save Lu..."
He nodded, "Don't answer the door... don't answer the door unless you're sure it's me. Understand?"
She nodded, "Okay... be careful."
Her mother laughed, "Yes Lincoln, do be careful, I'd hate to get you before the grand finale!"
She turned off the camera and Lincoln stood at the door, steeling himself for what was ahead. He opened the door, venturing into the cheetah's hunting ground.
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Lucy and Lynn had been informed about the sister meeting, called to order by Luan, early in the morning by their coconspirator Luna, "I-I think I fucked up."
Lynn shook her head, "No worse than I did."
"Relax," Lucy commanded, "It's not like any of you told her we're having sex with him or anything. We can divert this."
"Idiot... complimenting her legs like that," Lynn grumbled, "My legs are twice as good looking... especially my thighs..."
"Focus," Lucy demanded as she grabbed Lynn's cheeks, "If your hotheadedness comes out in this meeting it really will sink us. Besides," she blushed, "He compliments my eyes way more than Luan's stupid legs..."
The brunt of the school day was spent planning. This was a full sister meeting, so they'd really have to be careful how they worded things... lest their younger sisters get too interested. Lynn would keep an eye on Lincoln at school, not that Lucy had to ask her to, given his slip yesterday they had to verify that he was okay. The text updates said that he was hanging out with his usual crowd... including Stella. Lynn was certain, the way they talked, that the girl was a threat, but Lucy was more focused on protecting him at home rather than any other... external threats currently.
"Sigh," she groaned as she leaned back.
"Trouble in paradise, dear Lucy?" Haiku asked, hovering over her friend.
"Words can't describe how much turmoil my life spins, it's a constant torrential downpour of pain."
"Wow," Haiku nodded, then smiled, "Isn't it wonderful?"
Lucy smiled back and nodded, "I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"What troubles you so?" she asked leaning on her hands.
"Another of my dear sisters is too close to uncovering the truth."
"Will you bring her into your... coven as well?"
"Sigh," Lucy leaned forward, "I don't know... it's hard telling what exactly she's thinking. I don't know what her feelings are quite yet."
"You didn't know Lynn's when you first goaded her," her best friend reminded, "I'm certain, given the circumstances and what seems to be a... hereditary proclivity at this point... al it would take is a little shove."
Lucy tilted her head and thought for a moment. What haiku said was true. It was obvious to her that there was some sort of genetic aspect to their affliction. Hard to say if it was libido related or otherwise, but something was definitely there. Would Luan too have those traits? How should she play this? Cards close to her chest or lay all them out? It would have to be by ear, find out what Luan wanted to say. See where the conversation went, then strike. The day went on as usual. Club activities ended and she went home, sisters gathered in the Livingroom.
"Good afternoon, dear sisters," Luan turned to look at Lucy and waved her to sit.
"What's this about Luan?" Lola groaned, "If this is another dumb routine I swear-"
"Hey!" Lily growled, "I like sissies jokes!"
Lola glared at her youngest sister, but the toddler glared back unmoving, "Fine... let's get it over with."
"No routine," Luan assured, earning a thankful sigh and a disappointed grunt, "This is about Lincoln."
Two of the three man conspirators looked away, Lucy continued to observe Luan as she paced, Leni smiled, and Lisa was taking notes on their behavior, "Well, dear sister, what seems to be the problem."
"Well..." Luan had thought all day on how to word these questions around the youngest of her sisters, "I was just wondering if Lincoln... had seemed... weird to anyone else lately."
"Weird like how?" Lana asked.
"Well... just... weird... grabby... touchy... you know?"
"What?" Lola tilted her head, "Are you speaking in code or something?! Just spit it out woman!"
Luan groaned, "Has Lincoln said anything, 'off,' to anyone here?! Why am I the only one having this problem?!" She looked at the three she spoke with last night, "And why aren't you three more bothered by what he said to me?!"
"Is this about the leg thing?" Lucy finally ask, thinking she had found her angle.
"Leg thing?" Lily tilted her head.
"Lola! Lana! Ear muffs!" They covered Lilly's ears.
"Hey!"
"Who told Lucy?!" Luan demanded.
"Well, if you were going to make such a big deal out of it," Lynn crossed her arms, "I figured a briefing would help her get her footing before you ambush us."
"Ambush you?! This is about Lincoln!"
"Is someone going to explain what the heck is going on?!" Lola finally demanded.
"Lincoln complemented our dear sister's legs," Lucy explained.
"What?!" Lola gasped.
"Finally a normal react-"
"My legs are way cuter!" Lola pouted.
"Wha..." Luan stood there, jaw slack.
"Is all of this because you're insecure?" Lucy asked.
"N-... I... Brother's shouldn't stare at their sisters legs!"
Lisa was feverishly scribbling now, Lynn crossed her arms, "Why not? You put them on display enough... it's almost like you want someone to look."
"What are you talking about?!" Luan waved her hand in front of her, "Earth to Lynn, people wear shorts and skirts when it's hot! I can't help it my legs are so long!"
"Then how is Lincoln supposed to help it?" Lucy tilted her head.
"B-but... Saying I should show them off! M-my hair and the cream thing! Eating it off my cheek?! That's not weird?!"
Lucy held up her hand and began counting as she talked, "If you have attractive assets showing them off could be a benefit, Lincoln likes your meringue pies, and your hair is pretty, why are we making such a big deal about this?" Lucy asked, bringing further tinting to Luan's cheeks as she realized Lola and Lana were staring at her legs now.
"I mean... he is right, you do take good care of your skin," Lola admitted, "I still say mine are cuter though..."
"She's got you beat in the length department," Lana noted.
"B-but you three!" Luan pointed to Leni, Lynn, and Luna, "Y-your reaction was definitely
not normal!"
"H-how so?" Luna asked as she looked away.
"Saying that he never complimented your legs after me telling you that is weird!"
"I-is it? I-I mean Lola did the same t-thing..."
"Yeah! But she's a kid!"
"What woman doesn't like to be told she's beautiful?" Lucy asked, "Lincoln compliments my eyes all the time, he also compliments Leni-"
"He likes my smile!" She grinned, "He said it could heal the dying!"
"Dang it!" Lynn growled, "Why am I the only one?!"
Lucy face palmed and Luan pointed at her, "That! That reaction's definitely not normal!"
"Bullshit it's not! I shared a room with him! I should be the favorite sister!" She growled.
Lucy parried this outburst easily, "You know how competitive Lynn is, is it any surprise she was upset you beat her in something? So your brother said something on you was attractive? Why does it matter?"
"B-because..." She began repeating the word over and over again.
Why couldn't she think of a reason? Had she really overreacted? Was she the only one who felt that their were... sexual undertones to that comment? Why didn't anyone else feel weird about this?!
"Luan... are you sure Lincoln's the problem he-"
"MEETING ADJOURNED!" Luan screamed as she sprinted into the kitchen.
Luna began breathing again, Lynn, still jealous, kicked a pillow, Leni began walking with her eyes closed... right into the nightstand before course correcting.
"This is dumb!" Lola groaned taking her hands off Lily's ears, "I can't believe she called this meeting just to brag!"
Lana laughed, "Uh oh! Lincoln's in trouble!"
Lily looked back at her sisters before staring at Lucy, "Lu? Is Lincy going to be okay?"
Lucy smiled warmly at her younger sister, "Lincoln's going to be perfectly fine."
Lily smiled happily, "Good! I'm happy Luan's not angry!"
Lucy nodded, "She's going to be even happier soon."
When all her sisters had retreated Lucy sauntered up to her room, where her three sisters waited.
"Way to go, dude," Luna chided Lynn.
"Oh, screw you!" Lynn threw a pillow at her that she deflected, "Like you were any better with your stupid q-q-q-quivering voice!"
Luna approached her, "Zip it squirt! How did you expect me to react?! I thought Lincoln was screwed!"
Leni grabbed both girls and held them apart, "Enough fighting you guys! Oh-em-gee you two are acting so immature!"
"Agreed," Lucy stated, causing all three girls to look at her, "Especially considering we'll have to make room for her anyway."
"What?!" Lynn growled, "No way! Not again! Not on my ni-"
"And I think for her cooperation with this, dear Lynn deserves a second night this week."
Lynn opened her mouth to say something then crossed her arms, "Two nights with Lincoln... I guess is worth it..."
Lucy smiled, "Now just for the final touches."
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Lincoln arrived at the basement after wading through the carnage. Lynn and Lacy were both covered in feathers from a balloon full of quick dry cement and a trophy armed with a glitter bomb with feathers in place of glitter. Leina, Bed, and Lyle were all smoking and stuck together due to a combination shock spring trap made from an old iron bed, a shock fence, and a couple snap traps rigged to close it. Lincoln saw the exploded faux mattress, really a giant balloon, that they had no doubt saved their mother from before being snagged themselves. Bobby and Reina were stuck together by their cheeks, another glue bomb obviously the culprit judging by the mess under their bed. Stella and Darna were both buried up to their neck in, what Lincoln hoped was, shaving cream and some sort of gelatin. Sam, Luna, Lina, and Lemy were all crying over the instruments that they had thought were old but were actually their actual instruments wrapped in paper. Lyra was still freaking out over the morning's prank, gripping Lemy's pillow in place of him.
When he finally made it to the basement the horror show obviously hadn't ended. Leia, Lana, and Lizzy had crawled out of the boiler room and covered in soot from a muffler hooked up to an engine that had been rigged to Lizy's door at some point. He finally reached the lab, where the door was electronically locked. He could hear Lisa begging for the door to be opened, but Todd continued to insist the code had been changed. Lincoln thought for about 3 seconds before he sighed and punched in the date plus 81. The door opened and Lisa and Todd fell out of the room. Lincoln almost vomited from the concentrated stench.
"T-thank you..." Todd gasped before shorting out.
"L-Lincoln... our baby," Lisa coughed.
"I know Lisa! I'm going to get her!"
"N-no... Lincoln... our baby," She coughed again and Lincoln picked her up and placed her in bed as she shook.
"It's okay, relax, big brother's got this."
He heard crying and struggling from the baby's room. It had to be a trap... but he couldn't let that stop him. He slowly opened the door to reveal the source of the noise. Leni, trapped in Lulu's crib.
He slapped his forehead, "Dang it, Leni. Not again."
"Luan's so cruel!" she cried, "How could she have locked me in this! Save me Lincy!"
Lincoln shook his head, "I don't have time right now."
"No! Lincoln hates me too!" she cried.
He sighed and grabbed a tinker toy, handing it to her, kissing her on the forehead, "I'll be back, I promise."
"Oh! Pretty colors!" She grinned as she began spinning the dials, "Okay Lincy! Have fun!"
He walked out of the room, certain the culprit was laying in wait for him... until another scream rung out, "Oh no..."
The last person in the house had fallen... their own daughter. He raced up the stairs as fast as he could, and there laying in his room, next to a canon full of what he could only assume was wet gum, was Liby. The gum had become stuck in both her hair and braces, much to Lincoln horror.
"Liby!" He rushed to her side, "I-I thought I told you to not answer the door!"
"S-she had a voice changer..." Liby groaned, "S-she said we won... did we win dad?"
"Not yet," he answered cradling her, "But we're gonna... and stop pulling on the gum, you'll ruin your pretty hair."
"But it's so sticky!" She complained, "I don't want it to be stuck to me anymore!"
Lincoln winced in disgust, "I really... really hope that's not ABC."
Liby who hadn't even thought of the possibility paled, "OH MY GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!"
She began thrashing wildly, "E-easy Liby! We'll get you cleaned up in just a second... after I deal with your mother," he stood up leaving his daughter to wallow in her torment.
There was only one place in the house she could be, he sternly walked to her door and turned the knob. She sat in her familiar jester chair in a one piece leotard and jester's mask, those long beautiful legs crossed with her niece sitting on her thigh. The leotard was tight to her mature frame, leaving enough to Lincoln's imagination... would he have time to think about that. Her slightly buck teeth were showing in a wide, taunting grin.
"Welcome to my humble abode, Lincoln... let the grand finale... commence."
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Lincoln was sitting on his bed, "S-so... Luan's not mad?"
"Of course not, dearest brother," Lucy smiled, "You should go speak with her."
Lincoln sighed in relief, "Thanks Luce!" he hugged her.
"Sigh... were it only my night," she lamented.
He blushed, "Well... it is your day."
She bit her lip, "Don't tempt me, my love. Go speak to our dear sister..."
He kissed her forehead and raced down stairs. Luan was baking once again rapidly.
"H-hey," he called out, causing Luan to jump.
"O-oh hey!"
Lincoln new by her face that Lucy had lied... but she hadn't run yet, so that was a good sign, so he steeled himself for the confrontation, "C-can we talk?"
Luan blushed, still trying to figure out why she had reacted the way she did, maybe this would put things into perspective for her, "S-sure... c-come in."