Luan was a peculiar little girl. She had a firm belief in the power of laughter, and always aimed to entertain those around her. The clown of every class she was ever in, always handy with a pun or a witty comment. Her social intelligence, as far as wordplay and guile were concerned, was second to none, so she always did her best to make every one around her feel better with her jokes. Right now she was doing everything she could to calm a crying 4 year old Lincoln. Her, him, and their new youngest sister Lucy were riding a mechanical horse together when Lincoln, wanting to have a better view, had climbed up to it's head to ride on it's nose. The horse had bucked unexpectedly and thrown him off the front of it. He managed to protect Lucy, who was with him on the top, by breaking her fall with his face. This chipped his tooth and busted his lip. Luan, only six at the time, was desperately fighting to change sobs into laughter.

"Come on Lincy!" Her sock puppeted hand begged, "A chips nothing to cry about!"

"Yeah, especially not with the right kinda dip," the other one said.

"Oh come on! Not funny!" Luan quipped at it, "Unless it's the cheddar kind."

Lincoln was still sobbing slightly, but not nearly as hard as he was a second ago, "Come on you two!" the straight man puppet groaned, "A bump on the head is nothing to joke about!"

"Depends," the wise cracking one started, "We talking about his bump our yours?"

"What bump?"

"Oh! Sorry! You mean your face is just like that normally?"

"Why you!"

She made the two sock puppets pantomime a fight, "Come on you two! Quit fighting! My arms are getting tired!"

"See? I told you you had a Lumpy head!" the one joked, "Her arm has to be tired from holding all of them up at once!"

Lincoln chuckled a little, tears still in his eyes, "You be nice to Righty!"

"I knew you always favored her!"

"I mean... she is the one I write with."

The corny jokes continued until Lincoln was fully laughing. He threw his arms around his sister, an action she quickly returned.

"Do you feel better?" she asked.

"Yeah... you're the best Luan."

She blushed at the compliment. Comedy was her first true love, so much so that her other loves couldn't be separated from it. As such her love could only be described as intense... especially to those she cared for the most.

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Luan grinned at her younger brother, gently stroking his youngest daughter's, her niece's, hair.

"A hostage, Luan? That's low, even for you."

"Oh my dear, sweet, naive brother... all's fair in love and war... and pranks."

"Well you got me here? Do you expect me to beg?"

"No, no, I don't expect you to beg, Mr. Loud," she leaned forward with her maniacal grin, "I expect you to Laugh."

"Even if you get me, Lori and Lola are safe this year... you won't win..."

"Is that what you think?" She grinned as she slid her phone to him.

The first few pictures were Lola putting on some lipstick that obviously had chili powder in them, all her other makeup was grossly watered down meaning none of it would stick. He watched as his younger sister progressively got more angry until she started crying and began throwing things around her hotel room in a full tantrum. The next picture was Lori driving, turning on the air conditioner, being met with a face full of shaving cream, pulling out a towel to wipe it off of her face, only for the towel to be covered in Vaseline, pulling all her makeup off with it.

"Funny what a little preplanning does for a girl."

"I'm not laughing," he slid her phone in his pocket and took a few steps into the room triggering a slingshot that flung a pie directly at him, he ducked quickly allowing the pie to harmlessly smash into the wall.

She clicked her tongue, "Oh, it seems that one was a bit... 'pie'... should've calibrated it a little lower. No matter," she grinned, "There's plenty more where that came from."

He growled and picked up a side table. He ran through the unit towards his older sister he utilized the table as a makeshift shield, parrying shock prongs, pies, boxing gloves, an assortment of disgusting chemical compounds utilized to stick to clothes and flesh, everything. Every step was a pressure plate, every movement another trap, every breath a new prank. Even Luan was in awe of her brother's resilience. He threw the table down when a torrential downpour of slime splattered and slid under it. Finally he pulled off his shirt to use as a whip to whip the last pie out of the air. He grabbed his daughter out of Luans arms and hugged her close to him.

"Game over Luan," He coldly stated.

She sighed, "Alright... I'll admit... I'm impressed. Maybe I'm losing my touch," she growled, "If only Lily was here... I'm certain it would've been way easier to get you then... Maybe I need," She grinned, "A new protege."

The grin made a chill run down Lincolns spine as he turned to his daughter who was grinning in a similar fashion before her back started beeping, he turned her around to see a small device straped to her back and sighed, "Dang it..."

The device was one of Lisa's inventions, a sort of mass storage space that had a single issue, when opened it would fling whatever was in it out at high velocity, so if you put, say, glue in the device it would immediately plaster whoever was nearby. Thusly Lincoln was now glued to the floor, the final victim of Luan's pranks. Luan was laughing maniacally which sooned devolved into a normal chortle. She snorted a couple of times as she tried to catch her breath.

Lincoln's face was crimson, and he growled, "Alright... fine... you got me."

She wiped a tear from her eye, finally catching her breath, "Oh come on! You got to admit it was good!"

He stared at his daughter, sitting next to him, completely fine, clapping her hands, "You little traitor!"

She pulled her pacifier out of her mouth and playfully stuck her tongue out and Luan laughed again, "She's a winner, that one!"

"Alright... you had your fun Luan... get me out of this!"

Luan laughed, "Oh lighten up little bro, my closet has some solvent in it, along with some other things to un prank our sisters, so settle down."

"What about loans computer?"

She pulled a thumb drive out of her cleavage and waved it at him, "All right here."

He sighed, "Fine."

She approached him one last time to retrieve her phone from his pocket. She looked at her hopelessly stuck little brother as she reached for his pocket, admiring her handy work. Here he was, thinking he could outsmart her on her day, glued to the floor... sweaty... shirtless... completely at her mercy. She licked her lips.

"Uh... Luan?"

"Hey Lulu, do aunty Luan a favor and go help your mother..." Lulu nodded and crawled out of the room.

How long had it been? A couple weeks? God... he was glistening like a beacon in this light. Was it getting hotter in here? She moved her hand from his pocket to his jean's button and zipper, dropping them both with a single tug. She slid her unitard down her shoulder, freeing her breasts to gently plop on his thighs as she admired his manhood. She slowly crept up his body, hunger obvious on her face. She positioned herself on top of him, pulled her scrunchy off allowing her long curly hair to gently bounce free around her shoulders, and moved the bottom of her unitard to the side, revealing her dripping wetness.

Lincoln sighed, as he already realized what was about to happen, he smiled, "Go ahead."

She plunged him deep inside of her and began bouncing rapidly, feeling the embrace that she had missed out on over the past few weeks since Lori arrived. Her gasps were interspersed with occasional laughter. Luan Loud was a peculiar woman whose first love was comedy... as such when she was with her other love, she could never separate the two... she was never hornier than after a good laugh with her beloved.

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The silence and awkwardness of the situation permeated the air. Lincoln watched as his sister became more frantic with her movements the longer he stood there. Her face was gradually becoming redder by the second as she baked. He cleared his throat, causing her to jump.

"L-Luan... I... said something really inappropriate... I did something really inappropriate... I'm sorry."

She sighed, "Great... the only one who agrees with me is Lincoln... Are you only saying that because I reacted that way?"

"Um..." he didn't really know how to respond to that.

Was he? If she hadn't reacted that way would he have just shrugged it off and continued cleaning with her? Was he truly sorry he said those things? He meant what he said. He genuinely found his sister's legs sexy. He had begun looking at her the same way he did all his older sisters at this point, and he believed her to be their equal in terms of beauty, and he hated that she didn't see it that way. What if she acted differently? If she threw her arms around him he would've embraced her just as he did the rest of them. So no... he didn't feel guilty at all.

"Yes?"

She groaned, "Great! I'm a freak who thought my brother was hitting on me."

He wondered if he should just come out with it, "I-I mean... technically I kinda was."

She froze and turned her head, "W-what?!"

"I mean, like not in the traditional sense... I think? If I told any other girl they had great legs it would be absolutely hitting on them, right?"

"I-I mean yeah..." she agreed.

"And it did make you uncomfortable, right?"

"No! Wait I mean yes! I mean... I mean..."

It wasn't that it had bothered her, much like when Lincoln was coming to terms with his situation, it was that it hadn't that made her feel bad at all. Quite the opposite, she felt great about the compliment... and when her sisters told her she was overthinking it and it wasn't that big a deal she felt... worse. Almost like she had wanted him to be hitting on her. She began moving faster again as her face was now three shades of a deeper red. For the first time in her life... she was speechless.

"Y-you shouldn't hit on your sister!" was what she finally blurted.

"Why not?"

"It's wrong! That's why!"

"I mean... sure it is... but beautiful women are beautiful, and you're a beautiful woman."

"S-stop that It's making me feal weird!"

"I mean... how do you think I feel?"

She snapped around, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"I-I mean..." he sighed, "I think about this kind of stuff all the time and... well... I shouldn't have blurted it out."

"Y-y-you shouldn't think about your sisters like that at all!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's wrong!" she began frantically moving through the kitchen as her blush deepened and her resolve started breaking.

If it was so wrong, why did she feel so happy about it?

"L-Luan, slow down, you're going to hurt yourself!"

"N-no I'm not! It's fine Lincoln! I-I'm fine!" she chuckled nervously.

Lincoln knew spiraling when he saw it. He had dealt with it already now with two of his sisters morning after regrets. But he knew how to pull her out of it. He grabbed one of the pies that had cooled.

"Hey Luan," she turned to him, trying to hide her blush with her hands, and saw her brother lean back across a chair like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and threw the pie high into the air, catching with his face, "What am I?" she cocked an eyebrow in confusion, "A meringueiac"

Her hands slowly dropped as a small smile formed on her lips. A small ha escaped her mouth, followed by several more, until she was in a deep belly laugh, snorting at him. He smiled as he pulled the pie tin off of his face. Now it made sense. This was her Lincoln, the other funniest person she knew, second only to herself. It's no surprise she liked the compliment, no surprise she felt great, she loved him. Her little partner in crime and show stopper of a little brother. Besides... she had to admit the whole situation was kind of funny. Her brother having a crush on her? Downright hilarious! She could use that material for weeks to come.

She looked up to see him smash another cooled pie into her face, "That was for making me mess up my shirt!"

She smiled, "Oh come on! Your shirts not messed up!" She took a piece of the pie off of it, "I'd say it's perfectly baked! I mean, I have got a real, 'taste,' for fashion!"

He grinned, there was his usual silly sister, "Although I'm not certain if this, 'flavor,' of shirt is for me," Lincoln, once again, was one to not think through actions at this stage in his life, so he pulled her down and licked her cheek, "Though I will say, yours is quite good!"

She blushed again, but that laughter had awoke something inside of her, something that couldn't separate the humor of the situation, the strange feelings she was feeling, and her comfort around her brother, so she repeated the action, "C-come on little brother, I think this one's way better..."

The laughter had made her bolder. If her brother could play these games with her, why couldn't she? Anything for the joke... and she wasn't going to let her brother out joke her.

"No way!" He shook his head and sucked some off of her neck, causing her to gasp, "Banana's my favorite! Lemon's okay I guess... but nothing compares to that sweet taste."

This time Luan froze and Lincoln realized what he had done once again, "Dang it! Luan I-"

He was cut off by her pulling his shirt down and licking up his chest, cleaning some of the cream that had dripped down into the neck of his shirt. She licked up past his neck and sucked it gently with a pop.

"N-no way... lemon's way better," he blushed and she smiled, "What's wrong? Can, 'dish,' it out but can't take it?"

"N-no way!" he lowered his eyes, "R-remember, you started this!"

Thus began a dangerous game of chicken, one that neither one of them wanted to lose. She had licked meringue off of his nipple first, then he returned the favor in kind, sucking some banana off of her breast. She had licked some off of his abs, he had licked some off of her calves. Luan was getting wetter as their little game continued. Her hair eventually was let down. Ears, necks, breasts... lips... none of them were spared. Luan thought for certain she'd won when she scooped a bit of it in her mouth to tempt him into licking it off her tongue, but there was no hesitation from him. Was this still a joke? Why wasn't this little freak giving up?! Why wasn't she giving up?! Why was this so hot?! She looked up at herself and sighed in relief when she realized the pie was gone.

"L-Looks like you're out of ammo, Linc. We can call this one a-" he quickly pulled pie off his face and stuck his hand up her skirt smearing it on her clit, "-DRAW?!"

He got to his knees, looked up at her, and grinned, "You backing out?"

She looked at his face for a brief moment and laughed, "Good one, Linc, there's no way you'll go that far," He pulled her skirt up and slid down her underwear, "Alright, real convincing," he brought his face up to her vagina, gently kissing up her thigh, causing goosebumps to pollute her leg, "N-no way... you really-"

As he made it to her entrance he swiftly stuck his tongue inside causing her to shriek and grab two handfuls of her brothers hair. She couldn't believe it, her brother was eating pie out of her pie. This was still a joke, right? Why was she so damn sensitive? She started bucking her legs, trying to run away from the pleasure. He looped one of his arms around her slender thighs and with the other hand slowly explored her petite body.

"L-Lincoln! W-we've gone too far," he licked her clit causing her to lean against the counter and moaned loudly, "God! Why does it feel so damn good?!"

Another cruel joke was obviously being played on her. Some divine hire being had to be having a good laugh because it was becoming more apparent. How nice his hands felt, how sensitive she was, how much her core was burning. She didn't just love Lincoln... she was in love with Lincoln.

She started laughing, "I'm a freak... we're both freaks," she wrapped her legs around his head and slid down the counter to the floor, making it easier for her brother to eat her out.

Her scent engulfed him, sugar cookies and baked goods, no surprise considering what they had done. She tasted really sweet, probably because of the pie, but her slender, smooth legs were definitely the star of this show. Lincoln was already hard, but the soft skin made sure that wasn't going to change anytime soon. He felt as she started bucking, reaching her climax.

"I got to admit... I think you might be right about the Lemon pie... although cherry seems alright too."

"Oh God! This is so fucked up!" She gasped in between laughs and quakes.

She collapsed the rest of the way down to the floor, laughing and drooling in her sick ecstasy. She stared up at the light until a familiar silhouette snuffed the light. She watched as her brother dropped his pants, smiling. She looked up at his erection and blushed. Was he really about to do what she thought. Stop him Luan! The joke had gone far enough! Why were her legs opening themselves? Why was she grinning? Why was he smiling?!

He gently pressed his tip to her still quivering slit, "Y-you ready?"

"For a different kind of pie?" she chuckled, "Lay it, 'in,' me!"

He gently pushed his way in her, kissing her neck as he did. She gasped as he pushed past her walls. She moaned as he slowly pulled in and out of her, finding his rhythm and loosening her up. She couldn't believe how much better this felt over toys.

"W-wow little bro! What a r-ride!" she laughed and moaned.

Lincoln kissed her lips and gently sucked on her tongue. All her hang-ups she had were replaced with the spinning pleasure her body was surrendering to. Her back arched as he bucked up against her repeatedly, causing her to have convulsions as she reached her climax again. Her legs locked her brother deep inside of her as he too reached his climax.

"F-forget lemon!" she gasped, "I have a new favorite, 'cream pie!'"

Lincoln sighed as he lay on her shoulder, "T-that one was awful..."

"The hell it was!" she sighed as she came down and smacked her forehead as post nut clarity finally snapped her out of her hormone driven frenzy, "I... I can't believe we just did that! What the hell were we thinking?!"

She heard someone clearing there throat at the entrance to the kitchen causing Luan to scramble to her feet, "W-wait! I-I can explain!"

Lucy stood stoic at the doorway, "No need, dear sister... I think it's time for a different meeting."

A cruel joke... this was all a cruel joke... and she was the punchline. Luan could feel the tears well up in her eyes, she was certain they were doomed, but all she could do was laugh through the pain.

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Luan was gently kissing Lincoln's chest while circling his nipple, "God that was great."

"Mhm," He sarcastically agreed, still upset with the whole situation, "Could you let me out now?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, killjoy."

She walked to the door, not seeing the coy smile Lincoln currently had on his face. She opened the door to her closet and was knocked back by a spring loaded band. The band caused her fall into a door that was slightly open with a wire running adjacent into another room. She felt as something grabbed her ankle and began pulling her backward. A rope trap, rigged to a large pully that was pulling her in with a motor that had triggered when she stepped on the pressure plate. She grabbed the doorway and looked at her brother.

"What the hell is this?!"

"My insurance policy," he grinned, "I wasn't sure I'd be able to get you myself, so I called in a little favor. While you were busy relentlessly pranking our family and taunting me... you failed to notice one person was missing."

"No way! There's no one who can outmatch-"

She was cut off by a whistling coming from the room next-door... as Ronnie Anne walked out with a pair of scissors behind her back, Lincoln was radiating smugness as the realization dawned on her, "I knew the one place you weren't going to be until the end of your little game... so I had Ronnie whip up a few treats for you."

She looked back behind herself and saw pies tied to several small catapults surrounding where she would be when she was dangling after the rope pulled her in, she looked back to Lincoln, "Clever boy..."

He nodded before adding a triumphant, "April fools."

She smiled, proud of her brother's ploy, closed her eyes, and released the doorway accepting her fate. Ronnie snipped the string sending all the pies in a cascade careening towards her sister in law. She was quickly pelted with every flavor of pie possible. A total mess... a total loss. As the dust settled all she could do was laugh, completely covered in a sticky sweet ichor. Lincoln and Ronnie soon joined in in the laughter. Lincoln relaxed and looked over to Ronnie.

"Alright, we'd better save the rest of the house."

"Yeah, we should probably-" she froze as she looked at Lincoln, still glued to the floor... sweaty... shirtless... completely at her mercy.

She bit her lower lip, "Uh... Ronnie?"

"They can wait... at least for a few minutes."

"B-but Bobbie and Reina are glued together!"

"Sibling bonding," She grinned as she took off her shirt.

"L-Loan's having a mental breakdown in her room!"

"She'll be fine, a little time away from the games will do her good," she slid her pants down.

"I-I have to pee!" Luan admitted, partially not wanting to watch her brother under any woman other than herself and partially because she really did, "I didn't have time for a potty break when I was setting all this up!"

She slowly turned her head to her sister and law and shrugged, "We have a mop."

He thought for a moment and realized he had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, trading one animal for another as Luan hurled swears and insults at Ronnie as she stood over him, he sighed and shrugged, "Loud women..."