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Chapter 13
Mike actually was able to stay home with them longer, while he helped getting the Navy set up. Unfortunately, it didn't last as long as Christine might have preferred. She loved having Mike there and next to her every night.
They still hadn't really talked about their issues, but were very much in love with each other. As it become more and more apparent that Mike would be deploying soon, Christine knew it was only a matter of time. One night, she settled next to Mike and looked at the laptop he was reading off of.
"I'll be done in just a minute." Mike said.
"Its fine." Christine said. She turned on her side and kissed Mike's neck.
"Just a minute, I promise." Mike repeated.
"What are you doing anyways?" Christine asked.
"Just a minute and I'll explain." Mike said. Christine waited impatiently until Mike shut the laptop and stowed it in his bag. "So, we can't do any fancy vacation but I did get us a cabin at a lake for a week. Kind of a vacation." Mike said.
"Really, that will be great! The girls will be…we are taking the girls?" Christine asked.
"Of course." Mike answered.
"They will be so excited." Christine answered before straddling Mike and continued kissing him.
"As much as I do want to continue this…it comes with a caveat. The military is concerned about me deploying again and us not being married. I have you on my benefits package but…as a new administration comes in, it might look odd." Mike explained.
"Okay?" Christine continued.
"The President suggested we might consider getting married. Or remarried rather. Since we are in an obvious committed relationship, it makes sense to them." Mike said.
"What do you want?" Christine asked.
"I…like how we are now, but I do love you and I want you taken care of." Mike said.
"I…don't want the girls thinking we only got remarried because of insurance benefits. I love you and I would remarry you in a heartbeat, but not solely because of a benefits package." Christine said.
"It wouldn't be the only reason." Mike answered.
"Mike…do…you ever miss Emma?" Christine asked.
"Honestly, no." Mike admitted. It surprised Christine.
"Why not? Don't you ever wonder what she would be like had she lived?" Christine asked.
"Christine, I try not to think about Emma, because if I think about her, I also think about Lucas and that hurts. I understand that you loved Emma and you wanted her. I am sure, had she survived, I would have grown to love her, but it would have never been the same as it is with Katie and Hannah. A part of me would have resented her. And I understand that is not what you want to hear. I respect that you grieve for her and I would never stand in the way of that. I just don't feel the same." Mike answered. It actually made sense to Christine, other than resenting Emma.
"Why would you have resented her?" Christine questioned.
"Because I didn't want another baby then." Mike answered.
"Then? As opposed to…now?" Christine asked.
"I wouldn't mind another baby now. And I realize that is hypocritical and after losing Emma the way you did, a lot to ask of you. Which is why I haven't brought it up before now. And even now, it was a slip of the tongue." Mike answered.
"Just took me by surprise." Christine admitted.
"Look, I know it's a lot and we aren't getting any younger so it's a stupid thought. But, we do need to seriously think about this marriage thing." Mike said.
"So romantic." Christine remarked.
"Yeah. Never been a strong suite." Mike replied. He leaned over and shut the light off before giving her a long kiss. A thought occurred to her, she wouldn't mind another baby either and she wasn't getting any younger.
"How about we start trying for that baby?" Christine suggested.
"You sure? You know I probably wouldn't be home most of the pregnancy or for the birth, if you do happen to get pregnant?" Mike asked.
"Yes." Christine answered. She straddled him again and gave him a passionate kiss. Somehow, he worked her nightgown off and rolled her over onto her back.
"Remember when we were trying for Hannah and the doctor suggested all those different positions? Do you remember them?" Mike asked. They'd had trouble conceiving the second time and had to have help.
"I may have to do some research, but we can definitely try." Christine said and Mike smiled at her.
"Agreed." Mike said before Christine helped him out of his own clothes and they continued kissing.
Christine knew it was irresponsible. She knew that Mike HAD to grieve for Emma at some point and bringing another baby into the world was not wise. Katie still struggled and Mike would be gone again, but Christine knew it would also tie them together again, with or without a wedding ring.