RWBY IN WTF

"Alright, your records are impressive for a bunch of greenhorns. I could see myself hiring you on." The sleep deprived Naruto said as he set the file in front of him down. The four – more like three and one poorly disguised Hellcat – She-Hounds across from him had their tails start wagging. Sans the one he suspected to be a Hellcat, of course.

"Might I suggest a trial team name–?"

"Team RWBY! We're team RWBY! With a 'W'!" The small hood-wearing hound beamed, tail wagging widely.

"…R...W...B...Y…" Naruto pointed each of them out and they all nodded. He nodded slowly. "Yeah…Doesn't work like that."

"But-!"

"If you survive the probationary period, submit the proper forms to my P.A." He deadpanned. He sat back and rubbed his face. "You're dismissed."

"Cheer up, Ruby, he didn't say no." The white poodle hound patted the sad little wolf's shoulder. The black …He was pretty sure that was a Hellcat wearing fake Labrador ears..silently followed them out. The buxom blond She-Hound remained and leaned on his desk.

"So…You have any plans later, boss, or–?"

"Get out before I put all four of you on a blacklist." He growled.

"The fuck is that?"

Blake looked up at her partner with benefits to see their new boss of three weeks embracing a grey-wolf She-Hound probably not much taller than Yang. She didn't look too glamorous or special, but, the goth look was hard to make work. Blake knew from experience.

"Oh, that's Mr. Naruto's girlfriend." Ruby chirped. Weiss and Yang snapped their heads to the young girl while she worked on some extra paperwork. Apparently, prodigy or not, Uzumaki didn't like sending underage Hounds out to fight to their death. She gave him some respect for that. The hooded little red hound pursed her lips and tapped her chin with her pen. "Or is she his mate? …Fiancé? I unno, Mister Rex says they're made for each other."

"Mister Rex doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about." Yang grumbled.

"She's so…mundane." Weiss added with a frown.

Blake rubbed her eyes. So much for reading the latest installment of Menma.

"If you keep glaring at her, she's going to notice." She warned her teammates.

"Good." Yang huffed. She grinned ferociously. Hot. Blake would corner her later. "I bet I could take her."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sis." Ruby winced.

"Indeed. I'll challenge her." Weiss nodded. Uh what? No! That was the worst possible idea. "She's a common breed. What exactly is it she brings to the table? I, however, have pedigree."

"…Did any of you even read up on who our boss is?" Blake asked, incredulous.

Twenty Minutes Later

"…My pride…" Weiss whimpered.

"My back..." Yang whined.

"Told you." Blake deadpanned as she looked down at both defeated She-Hounds. She looked at their opponent, who was only slightly scuffed and was met with a glare. Shit, that's hot. Blake ducked her head and backed away. "All yours, I don't play for the bat and balls."

"..Keep your 'friends' in line. And get that Pup out of the fucking field!" The older She-Hound snapped, gesturing at Ruby, who was headfirst in the dirt with her tail wagging wildly.

"Guys! Guys! There's something buried down here! I can smell it! Help me dig it up!"

Nope. Blake didn't want any piece of that. She watched the older she-hound saunter back to her boss and damn. She wanted—Cold! Blake looked up and saw two glowing blue eyes glaring at her.

Right. Boss' girl. Off limits.

Fuck.

"Your newest hires are fucking kids!"

"…I know what you meant, but please don't shout that again." Naruto sighed as he collapsed in his office's chair. He let out a soft grunt when his girlfriend dropped on his lap. She snuggled up and rubbed her head against his chest. He stroked a hand down her back.

"Fuckin brats comin out of the literal woodwork to challenge me. This is Mine." Loona grumbled and nipped at his neck and jaw. He growled back and tilted his head to catch her lips with his own. She relaxed into it after a second.

"Better?" He asked once they parted. She growled and rested her head on him again.

"Yeah." She huffed. "Squirt's staying with someone else tonight."

"I'll see what I can–"

"That wasn't a suggestion, babe. Make it happen, or she's getting scarred for life."

"Yeesh, you sure you don't want me to just fire those kids?"

"You're not petty enough for that. Besides, the Hellcat's cute."

"Yeah, pretty sure you left an impression on her."

"Is that why you were glaring?"

"Hey, my girl is my girl." Naruto growled and nuzzled against her. Loona growled back and nipped his cheek again.

"She says she doesn't play both teams, but I bet you could convert her."

"Well no shit, Hellcat dicks are barbed. With spines."

That certainly killed the rising mood.

"…No wonder there's not a lot of them." Loona snorted. She blinked. "How do you know that?"

"I'll let you imagine."

"...You should invite her to dinner tonight."

"Loo."

"What. She's not a thief."

"For fuck's sake."

"Yeah, that's the endgame, babe."

There was a series of knocks disrupting her reading time. Blake sighed as she got up to answer the door to the team's shared apartment, paid for by their employer. Ruby was showering off the dirt from her makeshift excavation, Yang was sleeping her injuries off and Wiess was–

"~OHHHHAHHHOOHH~"

–Singing in Abyssal, apparently. She never expected the vocal range from the 'pedigree-proofed purebred Hellhound'. Bass coming out of such a tiny variant was…disconcerting.

"What the fuck do you waaaaaahi, Mr. Uzumaki!" Blake might've possibly squeaked when she saw the giant form of her boss, the Hound paying for her roof and board, staring down at her. He was…so much bigger standing up. And wider. And stacked. Shit...She was starting to understand why Yang and Weiss were interested.

"Blake, right? Perfect. Here. My girl wants you to come to dinner tomorrow. Alone." He handed her a piece of paper. "Dress casual, and if need be, in clothes you won't mind losing."

"…Guh?"

"Six on the dot. Only excuse is dismemberment or death." He narrowed his eyes and curled his lip. Sweet merciful fuck those were large teeth. Wait, was she getting…?Huh, Blake learned something about herself today. "Don't try to skip out, it'll make my girl sad. Got it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Great. Have a good night."

"Yuh too." Blake gulped and watched him walk off. She looked down at his ass. She closed the door and walked back to her spot on the couch to lie down. She stared at the ceiling. A mantra started in her head.

I'm not bi, I like boobs. I'm not bi, I like boobs. I'm not bi, I like boobs. I'm bi, I like both. I'm not bi, I like boobs. I'm not bi, I like boobs. I'm not bi, I like boobs.

"Why do you look like you're questioning your life choices?" Ruby asked as she came out of the bathroom and rounded the bend.

"…I'd ask why you know what that looks like, but Yang."

"Our dad, actually."

"Huh. Still want to meet him." Blake mused.

"So what's up?"

"Oh, uh, Mr. Uzumaki asked me to come to his place for dinner."

"…You?"

"Hey." Blake sat up and glared at her.

"Sorry! That came out, er, blunt." Ruby winced. "I just, I thought you were gay?"

Blake laid back down with a groan.

"So did I!"

"Remember, Ruby. You cannot tell them. They will do something stupid and we might get FIRED."

"Right, dream job on the line. Don't worry, Blake! I won't tell a single soul."

"Alright. Maybe I'll see you later. Might be tomorrow." Blake smiled and Ruby waved as she walked down to the DOOMER waiting for her at the curb. The red Hellhound hummed as she skipped back into the apartment.

—Later—

"Hey, Blake can I borrow–? Huh. She's not here." Yang looked around the open space and lowered the risqué panties she had in hand. She spotted her sister at the table working on her sniper rifle. "Rubes, you see Blake anywhere?"

"Huh? Oh, she left to go have dinner with Mr. Uzumaki and his girlfriend. She might be back later." Ruby mumbled, totally engrossed in her work.

"…she what?" Yang's jaw dropped open.

"So?" Loona asked as she lounged next to the thoroughly fucked Hellcat, who was stuck on her back with her legs spread. Loona herself was waiting for her third shot at the cause, who had disappeared into the bathroom to get rid of the golden grossness that came after ejaculation.

"…Everything I knew about myself is a lie." Blake muttered as she stared at the ceiling. "I-I came like five times…Even Yang hasn't made me cum five times…"

"Yeah, he's good like that. There's a reason that Queen Bee borrows him every Saturday." Loona bragged as Naruto came back from his trip to the bathroom and climbed into the bed behind her. She groaned as her Hound wound his arm around her hips to tug her close and nibbled at the sweet spot on her neck. "Fuuuck."

"That's the plan, Loo." Naruto growled at her. He huffed and teased her lips as he nipped her pierced ear. "How's our guest?"

"Ask her…and keep doing that." Loona moaned.

"I can't feel my legs." The Hellcat whimpered.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes. Sorry."

AN: And there's my second nonsense bit! This is not canon…Or is it?

Mostly not.