How Certified D.O.G. Almost started
"...No choice but to sentence you to…what the Fuck is that–?" Satan asked only to stop. He stood. "Son of a bitch."
"Uh, Lord Satan? Your verdict?" The frosty bird pushing for execution asked.
"Imp, you still have the book?" Satan asked.
"No! That's what I've been fucking saying! I've been using this fucking gem – which, by the way, is thanks to the only one of you I kinda like!"
"Well, ain't that sweet?" Ozzie smiled sheepishly when Satan glanced at him. "Prince Stolas asked for a gem to be made for him, so he could get his book back. I didn't see the harm in it."
"…good enough for me. Court's adjourned," Satan shrugged. He spread his wings and turned to the Sins. "We have something to attend to in Pride. Now."
"We do–?"
Belphegor sat up and looked up at the roof.
"…I think Lucifer's dog is loose again."
"He what." Bee sat up straight. She tilted her head back and sniffed. Her eyes shifted and her form became unrestricted for a moment. Then she recomposed herself and pumped her fist. "Sweet fuck yes! Gummy Bear is out!"
"…Uh, if the Dog is out, doesn't that mean a certain Hellborn in Pride got hit by an Exterminator?" Ozzie asked. The Sins, the Goetia and the cameras were silent.
"That's great and all, now can someone get these fucking chains off of me?!?" The interrogated Imp shrieked.
"Yo! I gotcha chief!" A golden-orange furred Hellhound popped into existence beside the Imp. He had a orange prison jumpsuit on, the top rolled down, and broken shackles around his wrists, feet and collar. He snapped the chains on the Imp and then did the same for his compatriots. He lingered in front of the lone Hellhound and cooed at her, which made her ears burn. "Aww, lookit you! Are you a good little bitch?"
"…Yes, Daddy…" Loona mumbled, jaw open as she took in the demon in front of her. He laughed and gave her a gentle pat on the head.
"Try putting a couple thousand 'greats' in front of that, okay pup? And expand your pack a bit, hm?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good girl." The Dog then popped out of existence again, re-appearing atop Satan's nose. "Sup duckies? Oh before I forget: sitrep time. Adam fucked up, hit Lucifer's kid – did you guys know he and Lilith could have a kid? I didn't know you guys could procreate like me! – ahem, anyway, Adam wailed on Charlie, broke the agreement with Heaven. Back to the Rings, check your Legions. Armageddon back up to Pride and straightening shit out there. Sayonara!"
He went up in a cloud of smoke with a wave. A beat of silence passed before chaos erupted and the Sins vanished in their own methods of interring traversal.
AN: and thats how it ALMOST started.
lemme know your thoughts!