Chapter 3

Eggman Harasses a Woman and Shadow Tries to Console Her

It was a beautiful day at Tropical Resort Zone when Eggman decided to visit in search of his prospective assistant. He found Mariah sitting in a beach chair surrounded by empty cans of hard seltzer. As Eggman approached her, he couldn't help but notice her uncanny resemblance to Maria. She had long, blonde hair and wore a blue and white striped tank top with denim shorts. She also had a strand of red ribbon in her hair which he thought looked ridiculous on a woman her age.

"You know, I'd really mistake her for my cousin if she wasn't such a drunken slob. . . . Hey, wait a second. If you get a tan, you'll never trick Shadow. Wake up!"

He flipped her chair over and she landed on a pile of aluminum cans. She pushed herself up with a groan and shielded her eyes.

"What the hell do you want, baldy? And can you stand under that umbrella? The glare from your head is blinding me."

Eggman crossed his arms. "You'll never convince Shadow with an attitude like that. I mean, could I interest you in an opportunity to gain some valuable workplace experience?"

Mariah laid down in the sand and rolled over. "No, just let me be miserable and drink myself to death."

"You might want to reconsider." he said with a painfully wide smile. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime chance to collaborate with the esteemed Dr. Eggman . . . or Robotnik. I've published under both names."

"Dr. Eggman?" She stood up and steadied herself to get a better look at him. "Aren't you that nutcase who's always writing articles about using robots to kill Mobians?"

Eggman put his hands on his hips. "Oh, come on! My research is weak tea compared to some of that messed-up junk in the Journal of Evil."

"I guess that's true." She squatted and picked up her empty cans. "I just have a soft spot for Mobians, especially hedgehogs."

He raised his brow. "Really? I love hedgehogs too. I think we'll get along just fine."

He started to put his arm around Mariah, but she smacked it away. "No thanks. I'm just a psychologist trying to understand the nature of her own evil. I don't think I'm the one you want. Now, if you'll excuse me."

Mariah walked over to a garbage bin and dropped her bundle of cans into the bag. When she turned around, she was greeted by Eggman, grinning madly as he leaned over her.

"Actually, you're the perfect candidate for the job. Afterall, I need a psychologist to wage psychological warfare, and your work is so . . . inspiring."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm kind of an intellectual dissident. I work alone."

Eggman furrowed his brow. "Yes, I could tell from your dissertation. Stunning work, really. I can't believe it got a whole four citations."

Mariah clenched her teeth. "Did you come all the way out here just to insult me?"

Eggman put a hand on her shoulder. "Listen here, Cymbalta sister. Let me give you some advice from the older generation of evil academia. Instead of publishing articles only your cutthroat colleagues will read, why not dedicate your time to committing some genuine acts of evil?"

Mariah thought for a moment and sighed. "Well, I went on this vacation to feel sorry for myself and try to justify my past crimes, but maybe I can distract myself by committing new ones."

"That's the spirit!" He pushed a button to call over his Egg Mobile. "Now, let's get you out of the sun before you get a tan and ruin my scheme."

She frowned. "Actually, I don't tan. I have a rare disease that's slowly breaking down my cells. I have to regenerate them at least once a week."

"Oh, that's wonderful—for me, I mean. Shadow won't be able to tell a difference."

"Who's Shadow?"

"I'll introduce you to him." Eggman hopped into his Egg Mobile and held out his hand. "But don't worry. He already knows you."

Mariah sat down on a bench outside of Chaos Brews and sighed. She pulled on the ribbon in her hair and looked at the ground.

"I'm not sure about this, Eggman. I'm not really comfortable around male hedgehogs, and I don't know anything about this Shadow guy. What should I talk about?"

"You don't have to talk about anything. Just look at him and keep him distracted while I destroy his lousy excuse for a café."

She gave him a skeptical look. "Do you really think that will work?"

"Of course it will. Even an intellectual lightweight like you can handle this. Now, his café closes at four, so he should be—oh, there he is!"

Shadow stepped out of Chaos Brews and locked the door. Eggman ran up to him with a wide grin and clasped his hands.

"Oh, Shadow, I was just about to visit your café for a late lunch . . . or an early dinner. I couldn't decide. Well, since you close so early, I guess you won't get my business, but while I'm here, I thought I'd introduce you to a friend of mine."

Shadow rolled his eyes. "You don't have any friends, and I have more businesses in Casino Night Zone that need my attention."

"Yes, I'm sure you do." He grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. "Now, I'd like to introduce you to my esteemed colleague, Dr. Mariah Otomech."

Shadow's eyes widened as he stared at the bizarrely familiar woman. "M-Maria?"

"No, it's Mariah." Eggman said, pushing several buttons on his wristwatch. "Can't you hear the obvious long 'I' sound, or is your past trauma obstructing your phonemic awareness?"

Mariah jumped up from the bench and clutched her chest. "It can't be. . . . I thought you were dead."

"Me?" Shadow frowned. "You're the one who's supposed to be dead. I thought I'd never see you again."

Eggman scratched his head as he stared at them. "Wait a minute. Shadow's the only one who should be in a state of post-traumatic paralysis. . . . Eh, well. Don't mind me. You two go catch up while I destroy your café. Oh, Mega Bot! Give Chaos Brews a Chaos bruise." He smiled to himself. "I'm glad I can make jokes like that in a textual medium."

The giant robot rolled into the village and flattened the café underneath its treads like a government bulldozer repossessing property for federal use.

"Well, that was a bit anticlimactic." Eggman muttered. "I wanted to impress Mariah. Where's the fight scene with tense music and fast-paced cinematography?"

Eggman glanced over at her. She was still gawking at Shadow while she twirled her hair like an anxious child.

"What are you, some kind of Shadow fangirl? It's over. We won. Get ahold of yourself."

"I don't know you, but you look so familiar." She walked closer to Shadow. "I can't believe it. . . . I don't want to believe it. If you're alive then what was the point of it all? Why did I have to suffer so much?"

Shadow shook his head. "I'm confused. . . . Maria, did I make you suffer? I'm sorry. I never meant to."

"Why are you calling me that?" She grimaced and wiped her eyes. "Obviously, you've mistaken me for someone else, and I've done the same to you." She sobbed. "I'm sorry. I need to go home and take my medicine."

Mariah turned to leave but Shadow grabbed her hand. "I own the Lost Colony hotel in Casino Night Zone. You can stay there if you'd like, free of charge."

"Don't stare at me with those intense eyes." she whispered. "You remind me of him. Please, let me go. You're gonna make me have another psychotic break."

He released her and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Stop apologizing. You're just making me feel worse." She gripped the sides of her head. "If I don't get my medicine soon, I'll throw a fit."

Shadow patted her on the back. "Calm down. Where's your medicine? I can bring it back here in seconds."

"You're that fast?" She looked down at him and smiled. "You're just like him."

He gave her a puzzled look. "Like whom?"

Mariah collapsed to the ground and hugged his ankles. "Wah, ha, ha! What's the point of any of this? It's all a sham—just some twisted joke in a shattered universe. I can't live like this anymore. Just kill me now, please!"

Shadow stared at her in stunned silence while she sobbed and kicked her feet against the ground. He wanted to console her, but that only seemed to make it worse. The surrounding villagers were staring at them as well. It was all quite awkward for him.

Eggman side-stepped into his Egg Mobile and waved goodbye. "Well, this is unexpected. I'll just go home and start drafting the design for my new café, but take your time. Every villain needs a good cry once in a while. . . . Pretend you didn't hear that."

He flew over the village and Mega Bot followed him, knocking aside trees and buildings to clear a path. Shadow would have stopped it, but Mariah was still clinging to his legs.

"If you're right here then why did I have to suffer?" She wept into his fur. "I can still see it—the blood, the screams, but now everything is so quiet. It's like the universe died and I'm the only one left, but I'm glad." She looked up at him and smiled. "That means no one can hurt you again."

"Get ahold of yourself." Shadow grabbed her under the arms and lifted her up. "What's wrong with you? I'm the one who should be having an existential crisis, since you're walking around in my best friend's body."

"I'm what?" She pulled herself away from him and dusted off her knees. "This is all wrong. We shouldn't know each other, but it seems we do."

Shadow crossed his arms. "Yeah, it doesn't make sense."

She buried her face in her hands. "Nothing makes sense! P-please forgive me. I should go. I've caused you enough trouble."

He pointed over his shoulder. "Don't worry about the café. Everyone on this island has giant robot insurance." He grabbed her arm. "Now, come on. You need to see a doctor."

"I am a doctor." She pushed him away. "And I just need my medicine. . . . Anyway, I understand if you never want to see me again, but I'll be at Eggman's lair if you—"

"Yeah, I get it." he said with a curt wave. "I'll be seeing you . . . when I'm ready."

She smiled meekly. "Thanks, Shadow." She started to walk away but glanced over her shoulder. "Do you remember my name?"

He nodded. "Mariah."

"That's right, and don't forget it!" She ran off with more than a few pairs of eyes following her.

Once she was gone, Shadow went for a walk on the beach to ponder the strange events that had just occurred. That woman looked and sounded just like Maria, but he knew it couldn't be her. For one thing, if Maria was alive, she'd be over sixty, but it was more than that. There was something in that woman's eyes—a forlorn insanity—that could never belong to Maria. It was so odd. He genuinely thought it was Maria until she looked at him. The real Maria would never look at him with eyes like that.

He sat down on a cliff and watched the surf break against the rocks. "But if that wasn't Maria, then how did she recognize me? We both thought we knew each other and yet. . . ."

He warped away just as a volleyball whizzed by where he had sat. Sonic ran around and caught the ball just before it bounced into the ocean.

"Sorry about that, Shadow. Knuckles thought you were me, so he threw you the ball."

Much to Shadow's dismay, the rest of Sonic's friends approached him.

"It's not my fault." said Knuckles. "You two look so alike. Are you sure he's not a recolor, Sonic?"

"He's not a recolor!" Sticks shrieked. "I thought we'd already established that he's an alien, but not the bad kind that eats ya and hatches eggs inside your corpse. He's the good kind that warns you of the coming apocalypse but gets attacked by short-sighted cowards who think he's trying to take over the world."

Tails sighed. "That's closer to the truth than most of your delusional theories."

Amy grabbed his hand. "Shadow, what are you doing out here by yourself?"

He looked down at her hand. "I'm always by myself."

"I know. That's why you should come play volleyball with us."

He shook his head. "I don't play games . . . unless I'm at the Olympics. Anyway, I've had a long day, and you all are exhausting when you're together."

"What's wrong?" Amy tightened her grip around his hand. "You can tell us. You shouldn't keep all your problems to yourself. It'll only make it worse."

Sonic stepped between them. "No, he can totally keep his problems to himself. That's kind of his thing. Now, come on. Let's play. There are only so many hours in a day . . . well, unless you're me and you can just follow the sun."

"Friends come before games, Sonic!" She pushed aside. "Now what's bothering you, Shadow?"

He looked away and sighed. "If you must know, I met a woman who looked like Maria."

Amy gasped. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Shadow."

"Yeah, me too." Sonic said with a laugh. "Still got that Maria complex, huh?"

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, this woman recognized me as well, and she had a mental breakdown right in front of me. It's like we were both staring into reflections of our pasts, but we had never met. . . . Oh, yeah, and the doctor destroyed my café, so today's been less than pleasant."

Tails stroked his moustache. "Sorry, Shadow, but I doubt that was Maria. It was probably Dr. Mariah Otomech—one of the world's leading villain psychologists. My island surveillance system caught Eggman accosting her on the beach. He probably hired her to distract you so he could wreck your restaurant. I'm sure it was all just an act."

He clenched his fists. "She wasn't acting."

Sticks jumped in front of Shadow and grabbed his head. "Maybe she's Maria's evil doppelganger from a parallel dimension where you died instead of her, and now she's come here to exact her vengeance on the world, just like you did. We're all gonna die!"

Shadow blinked at her. "Why does that sound eerily accurate?"

Sticks ran away screaming and Shadow covered his ears, wishing he was anywhere else."

Amy clasped his shoulder. "Shadow, don't listen to my negative friends. What you need is a nice, relaxing therapy session."

Sonic sighed. "Come on, Amy, he's made it this far on his own. He doesn't need therapy."

"How would you know? You can't understand his pain." She grabbed Shadow's hand. "Come on. We'll go to my house. I'll even give you a discount on your first five sessions if you book them in advance."

Sonic ran in front of them. "Hold up, Ames. You're taking Shadow to your house?"

"Of course I am. It's the most relaxing environment on the island, no, on the planet. Now move it!"

She shoved him aside and dragged a helpless Shadow down the coastline. Sonic crossed his arms and watched them go with no small amount of frustration.