Chapter 7 Eggman Joins Academia

Eggman stared at his computer screen as a scowl stretched across his face. "My contract's been terminated. This is outrageous! That college was going to be my personal school of super villainy. I was going to train an army of henchmen, maybe join some clubs and a fraternity."

"Sir, that wasn't in the contract." Orbot said, carrying a tray with his midday coffee.

"I know. I thought it was so obvious it didn't have to be there." He took a sip of his rich bohemian roast. "I can't believe Shadow not only bought my café but he gave it to that invalid he's adopted. My brew's a hundred times better than whatever she can mix up. Well, at least she's out of my lair."

"Yeah," Cubot said wiping his faceplate. "She was leaving syringes all over the place. It was making your robots depressed, especially social worker bot."

Eggman looked at Cubot and shook his head. "I can't have a school. I can't have a café. It's like they don't want me to be a part of their community."

"Maybe if you stopped trying to destroy them, they would be more comfortable with letting you into their lives."

Eggman sighed and leaned back in his chair. "No, that'll never work. I'll just destroy their school and build my own."

"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll beat three super-powered hedgehogs when you still can't beat one." Cubot said with a laugh.

Orbot pushed him away. "What Cubot means is that the three hedgehogs' personalities would clash so violently that you wouldn't be able to stand fighting them long enough to beat them."

Eggman stroked his moustache. "You're right. I'd forgotten how annoying they were at parties. I never got invited to their parties, of course. I just heard from a friend, and by friend, I mean my spy bot. This will require a more delicate approach."

"And what would that be, sir?"

"I'm going to walk into city hall and renegotiate my contract."

"What do you mean I can't be headmaster?" Eggman screamed as he followed Silver into his office.

"That wasn't even in the original contract. You were just going to build it." Silver sat down at his desk and sighed. "Why would I give you a faculty position now, let alone headmaster?"

Eggman grabbed a book from Silver's bookshelf and turned to a page where an article he had written twenty years ago was cited. "Because I'm the smartest person on this island and before you mention that two-tailed nit-wit, remember that I'm also the only one here who knows anything about academia."

Silver frowned. "What about Shadow's friend, Dr. Otomech?"

"That basket case?" Eggman laughed. "She couldn't pass a drug test. . . . or a background check. She's from a parallel universe, for crying out loud!"

Silver crossed his arms. "She has to take medicine for a lethal disease. With respect Eggman, you're not in any position to critique the health of others."

"Are you saying—" Eggman's eyes gleamed. He suddenly realized how to get what he wanted from Silver. It was so obvious it was almost laughable.

"You're right. I'm lazy and out of shape, but I can change, Silver. I can reach my full potential just like everyone else on this island. I want to see your future made present. I want to make this community a better place for my robot children and their robot children."

Silver rubbed his chin. "To be honest, I don't know you nearly as well as the others, but they told me not to trust you."

Eggman wiped his eyes with a tissue. "That's because they don't think I can change like Shadow and Mariah did. They don't believe in me like you do Silver."

"Wait, but I don't . . ." Silver stared at the tears streaming from his glasses. "No, I do believe in you. If Shadow and Mariah get a second chance, then you should too. You'll be headmaster for one year."

"Oh, thank you, Silver! I knew you would understand." Eggman shook his hand vigorously. "This village is really going places under your leadership . . . going to be the foundation for my empire."

"What was that last part?" Silver asked with a frown.

"Oh, it's going to be a paradise of learning and culture."

He blinked at Eggman. "Yeah, you're right. Nothing can stop us if we all pursue our full potential."

"Nothing but a few robot battalions with heat-guided missiles."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, Never mind."

"So Eggman walked right into your office, asked to be headmaster of your brand-new school, and you said yes?" Tails asked, horrified.

Silver shrugged and smiled. "That's right."

"Are you crazy?" Tails shouted, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Sonic whistled. "Man, I think the village was better off when Knuckles was mayor."

Amy, Shadow, and Mariah all looked at each other, wondering how to best save Silver's term in office from disaster.

"Seriously, Silver," Mariah clasped his shoulder. "I would have made a better headmaster, and I would have been terrible."

Silver sighed and sank into his chair. "I'm only asking that you give him a chance. He seemed sincere, and if I want everyone to become productive members of society, that has to include Eggman."

"To be honest," Amy said with a smile, "Eggman actually did help me start my restaurant. What's the worst he can do?"

"Tank our enrollment?" Tails said, glaring at her.

Sonic burst through the door to Silver's office and looked at Shadow with a smug expression.

"School's done, and just in time for football season."

Silver stared at him. "That's impossible. How could you build an entire college campus in a day?"

Sonic sat on a coffee table and folded his hands behind his head. "I know you're not exactly used to going fast, but Shadow and I can do almost anything in a day. And Shadow didn't even help much, which means I win our bet by the way. You gotta drink that," he glanced at Amy, "whatever it was."

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Is it structurally sound?"

"Of course it is. Knuckles already tried pushing it off the cliff, but I don't think you're in a position to judge me after all the money I saved you."

"I'm glad you're so proud of your work." Amy said sitting next to him on the table. "Eggman's going to be the headmaster by the way."

Sonic smacked his forehead. "Seriously, Silver? He attacks the village at least once a week. I know you don't know him that well, but just look at him. Would you trust him with your kids' education?"

Silver remained silent.

"Well, at least it'll make school less boring than it was when I went."

Amy frowned. "Sonic, you never went to school."

"And I turned out great. Anyway, Ames and I are going shopping. She wants to pick up a few things before classes start. I could just grab everything myself and be back in a second but, you know, quality time and all that."

Sonic grabbed her arm and dashed out of the office. Everyone fell silent and Silver pondered the nature of Sonic and Amy's relationship. It had matured dramatically since he had last seen them.

"Anyway," Tails said, rubbing his head, "I've got to get ready for my classes too. Are you sure you want me to teach seven of them?"

Shadow glared at him. "That's what I'm paying you for, isn't it?"

Tails laughed. "Right. That was a silly question. I, uh, gotta go."

Once he had left, Shadow returned his attention to Silver. "Eggman might be the headmaster, but don't forget I'm the one with the purse strings. If I don't want him there, I'll get rid of him. Got it?"

Mariah took him by the hand. "Shadow, I don't think you have to try so hard to intimidate this guy. Now come on. I've got to work on my fall wardrobe before the semester starts. Human-sized clothing is so expensive around here."

Shadow smiled. "When you're my friend, nothing is expensive. . . . Goodbye, Silver."

Later that night, Mariah was in her loft above the café, getting ready to take her injection when she heard Shadow downstairs on the phone. He was speaking with a harsher tone than usual.

"I know eight million rings just left my account. I built a damn school and two dorms. . . . No, it won't be profitable. It's a free college. . . . I don't care. We just opened a fourth hotel, and we're swimming in rings. I can afford a few humanitarian projects."

He hung up the phone, and she could hear him sigh from all the way upstairs.

"Shadow, is everything alright?" she asked.

He teleported into her room, and Mariah gripped her chest in shock.

"Sorry." he said with a smile. "That was Rouge. She's made herself my accountant ever since I started these charitable endeavors. She can't understand spending money on anything that fails to further her own self-indulgence, but give her time. She'll come around to our point of view."

Our point of view? Mariah liked the sound of that. For the first time in her adult life, she felt like she was doing something good—helping others and creating value. Still, Shadow was the only source of this positive energy. Without him, she knew she could help no one, not even herself.

Slowly, she sat down on her bed and smiled. "Shadow, do you think I'm doing a good job?"

"I do." he said. "I think the coffee's great."

She laughed. "No, I mean, am I actually helping people? Am I making the world a better place?"

"Of course you are." Sensing her distress, he sat down next to her on the bed. "You're going to help these villages improve their lives, and if it's worth any consolation . . . you've made the world a much better place for me."

"Thanks," she frowned, "but you don't understand what I did. I killed billions of people. Even if I helped everyone on this planet, it wouldn't make up for what I've done."

Shadow fell silent for a long time. "You're right. I don't understand. Your crimes seem so far away, they don't feel real, but I do understand your pain. I've felt it every day, but life is not about healing your pain. That will never happen. You just have to stay focused and work so hard helping others that you feel numb to it."

Mariah grabbed her pajama pants at the knees and squeezed them until her knuckles turned white. "But . . . but I want it all to go away. The pain . . . I can't bear it. I'm not as strong as you."

Shadow watched the tears drip from her chin. In just a few seconds, she had gone from a quiet depression to uncontrollable sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Mariah, but I can't lie to you. . . . Perhaps you need something stronger that can drown your pain and guilt."

She wiped her eyes. "Are you suggesting I become an alcoholic?"

"No." He tried to relax a little. "Just know that I love you. Focus on that, and maybe you'll forget at least some of what you suffered."

Mariah's face squirmed with a mixture of emotions, and she wrapped Shadow in a frenzied embrace. "I'll never forget what you've just told me, Shadow. I love you too. I hope that makes your life a little easier as well."

He nodded. "Don't worry about me."

"That's just like you." Mariah laughed and looked at the pile of new clothes on the edge of her bed. "You never think about yourself. You're spoiling me, Shadow."

"Just making up for lost time." He smiled. "Now, take your medicine and go to bed."

Amy decided it was best to be at least thirty minutes early on the first day of class. She climbed the mountain and entered the new classroom building Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles had built. Tails was teaching a robotics class just down the hall. She knew he would be there all day teaching computer and engineering classes as well. Knuckles was in the gym, teaching a weightlifting class just to give himself something to do.

As promised, Amy sat in the front row near the lectern. She already had a pencil and notebook ready when Sticks walked in. She looked under all the desks for recording devices and finally sat down next to Amy.

"Sticks, what are you doing here?" Amy asked. "I didn't think psychology was your thing."

"It's not." Sticks said bluntly. "I thought Mariah was teaching a class on parallel universes and interdimensional phase shifting."

"No, pretty sure it's psychology."

"That stinks. Well, maybe I can get a conversation started."

Only four other students showed up, and then Mariah walked in a few minutes late. She was wearing a dazzling sky blue dress with floral print that Amy knew would distract her throughout the class. She was quite proud of helping Mariah develop a sense for fashion.

"Sorry, everyone." She dropped a stack of papers in the floor and completely ignored them. "I've been told this is intro to psychology, mental health, and disorders. Is everyone okay with that? If not, well, you can still leave, but once that door shuts," her face darkened, "there's no getting out."

"You know we're ready." Amy said, clasping her hands.

Mariah's face beamed and she waved robotically. "Oh, Amy! Didn't see you there . . . or Sticks. Nice to see you too. Ha, ha, ha! Let's get started. I'm Mariah Otomech, and I received my PhD in villain psychology from . . . well, I can't actually tell you where I got it or I'd have to kill you. So, how would you all define psychology?"

"The study of parallel universes?" Sticks suggested.

Mariah's eye twitched slightly.

"The study of the human mind and how it functions?" Amy said.

"Very good, and what determines how the human mind functions?"

Sticks raised her hand eagerly. "Primal desires like food, water, shelter, and—"

"Love!" Amy said glaring at her.

Sticks rolled her eyes. "I was gonna say something else, but let's go with that."

Mariah wiped several drops of sweat from her brow. "Day one and we're already getting into Mads the Ewe's hierarchy of needs."

She drew a pyramid on the chalkboard behind her. Next to the bottom tier, she drew a quaint bowl of fruit.

"The first level of the hierarchy represents those primal needs you mentioned, Sticks. Once those are met, we move on to our social needs—love and community like you said, Amy."

She drew a doodle of Shadow next to that tier. "Then, once we have people who love us and a sense of belonging, we reach the self-esteem level which includes self-love and self-respect. . . . Well, some of us get there. Then, we finally reach self-actualization where we meet our full potential . . . like what Silver wants us all to do, I guess."

"And what if someone refuses to be vulnerable and give love to anyone, remaining aloof and detached for the rest of his life?" Amy asked, leaning over her desk.

Mariah smiled rigidly and glanced at the other students. "Then he'll be stuck around levels one and two until he's mature enough to open up and be vulnerable."

"And what could be causing him to be so detached?"

"Oh, innumerable reasons." she said, laughing. "It could be fear of vulnerability brought on by insecurities surrounding their true self. Becoming vulnerable would mean coming face to face with who they really are. It could also be avoidant personality disorders, including paranoia and schizoid where the victim refuses to form real, meaningful relationships and insists on living in delusions."

Sticks shook her head. "I should have never signed up for this class. I knew I'd be a target."

"That's not an indictment on anyone in this room. It's just a hypothetical—" The bell rang and Mariah leaned against her lectern with a sigh. "Looks like class is over. See you all on Wednesday. Everyone gets an A for today."

Amy and Sticks stayed to help Mariah pick up her papers. "Oh, thank you, girls. How was the class?"

"It was wonderful." Amy said, patting her on the back.

"I wasn't too scary?"

"You weren't scary enough." Sticks said with a smile. "Next time, you should introduce yourself with a video of you blowing up that planet."

"Ha, ha, funny." Mariah said with a pained smile.

"Sticks, use your sensitive words." Amy said, grabbing her shoulder. "And you're not scary. Pretty women never scare me. I love your dress."

"Oh, that's sweet. . . ."

"Did Shadow buy it for you?"

"Is it that obvious?" She asked, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, yeah. That dress screams Shadow. . . . I know this is sudden, but would you mind helping a girl out."

Mariah raised her brow. "As long as that girl is you. It's the least I can do after you helped me decorate my café. What do you need?"

Amy pulled her hands into her chest. "Romantic advice."

"Oh. . . ." Mariah glanced around the room as if searching for an escape.

"Here we go." Sticks said, crossing her arms.

"It's not that big a deal." Amy said, laughing. "It's just, Sonic keeps taking me on these expensive trips to Casino Night Zone, but he won't admit we're dating."

"I see." Mariah put a finger to her chin. "And what exactly do you two do in Casino Night Zone?"

Amy turned away and stared out a window. "You know what they say—what happens in Casino Night Zone stays in Casino Night Zone."

"Sure sounds like Sonic wants to keep it there." Sticks said, rolling her eyes.

"Not helping, Sticks!" Amy shouted.

"Fine." She crossed her arms. "Sonic is too immature and afraid of commitment to make it official, and that's all there is to it."

Amy sighed. "I know, Sticks. You're probably right. Any ideas, Mariah?"

"Maybe Sonic's afraid of losing even the tiniest amount of his freedom. You realize he's lived alone with no rules his entire life, right?"

"I won't take away his freedom!" Amy yelled. "I'll support him and go wherever he wants. I mean, I already do that for crying out loud! What does he want from me?"

Mariah knelt and stared into her eyes. "Maybe you need something from him. . . . Let's go to my office. I've got an idea."

Shadow sat in his office in his Grand Chaos Hotel, sipping a glass of vintage Angel Island wine. Suddenly, he heard a knock at his window, and could immediately tell by the uncertainty of the knock that it was Silver and not Rouge. He pulled back the curtain and saw the white hedgehog floating in the rain. He opened the window and Silver landed on his pristine marble floor.

"Bad first day at school?" Shadow asked. "Want a drink?"

Silver shook his head. "It was wonderful. The students were all so happy, and the teachers were having fun. Eggman didn't even cause any trouble, but I feel terrible."

"Can't stand how painfully boring you are?"

Silver shook his head. "It's no use. I've been lying to everyone."

Shadow set aside his wine glass. "That's a first. Care to explain?"

He stared into Shadow's eyes. "I'm here because you're the only one I can trust. . . . There is no utopia in the future. This entire planet is a primordial hellscape, and I've come back to this timeline to save it, or at least ease everyone's suffering before the end."