CHAPTAR: 4 ONE LAST FAMILY WALK
Preparations for Harry's departure eventually took a week, a week in which everyone did their best to enjoy the time they had left in their company. The only one who was obviously not aware was Rosalyn, who had to admit that the atmosphere within her family had changed again. Her older brother, who usually never refused to play with her, now spent her time locked in her room moping for a reason she didn't know. The only times she could see him were during meals, but again, Harry was very quiet, his head down, and never looked at the rest of the family members. Her brother seemed to be shaken by something that eluded him, and in her own opinion from the height of her four years, it was probably not the correction he had from James that could have put him in that state. Despite her many attempts to extract any information from him, Harry was careful not to tell her what was bothering him, and it toiled her greatly.
Even her mother, who usually tried so hard to brighten up the monotonous days of the mansion, had become so silent that she only talked to her. She too had realized the behavior of her eldest son, but he refused to talk to her, even when they were both in a room, and most often dodged his vain attempts to open dialogue with him by fleeing into the garden of the manor.
Her mutism bothered her enormously, especially as she spent the last moments when they could both be intimate. The idea that he could hear their conversation didn't even cross her mind. Yet in hindsight, she could have realized that her behavior change had begun since that day. They who were so close before had become like two strangers in the very heart of a house.
James, on the other hand, did not cease to express out loud his joy at the idea of not having in his paws his good-for-nothing son. He did not say it openly, contenting himself with launching small petty sentences aloud against Harry, believing moreover that the latter would not understand anything.
"It might be time to do some work in the house, don't you think Matt? Your room is starting to be a little too small; we could tear down the wall separating it from the next room."
"The room next door? But... It's the room…"
"Next week will be perfect to start the developments!" James said in an amused tone. "Once the big spring cleaning will be finished, we can start our small works!"
Not understanding anything at all at first, Matthew was finally made aware of what was going to happen, and the smile he wore every time he passed Harry in the hallways of the house clearly meant that this little novelty excited him enormously. He himself began to throw murderous phrases at his brother, although he did not inherit his father's talent for masking the hidden meaning of his words:
"Are we leaving soon, Harry? Don't forget to send me a postcard! I will be delighted to have a little souvenir of your stay in London!"
"Put her on the back burner, Matthew," he replied darkly before locking himself in his room.
His little moment of misguidedness earned him the last correction of his father against him, but little mattered to him. He was soon going to leave this family which he now despised, with the exception of Rosalyn of course who had nothing to do with it.
His resentment towards them and especially against his mother reached its climax when during a meal, Lily had the nerve to announce that he, Rosie, and herself would spend a few days together to see the country and in particular to visit London. Never before had they had the opportunity to travel and see anything but the mansion, Traverse's path, and the homes of James and Lily's few friends. Then to hear that they will be able to discover the Welsh moors and other beauties of the English landscape excited at the most point the little sister of Harry.
He didn't care because he knew it would ultimately lead to his abandonment to the Dursleys. But the fact that this was happening in front of Rosie was a new source of anger against her mother. Merlin, doing such a thing in her presence, Lily had gone completely crazy, and Harry was careful not to tell her. He hesitated for a long time to talk about it to Daphne in his letters, not wanting to monopolize her for family problems that did not concern her. And anyway, she could do absolutely nothing to change anything about this story: she was only six years old.
He continued his correspondence with her, talking to her about everything and nothing as it was usual between them to give the change and not to give her the impression that something was happening in his home, and this, without giving any information about his future departure. Just slipped a simple "see you soon, maybe" in his last letter.
"Maybe even the Dursleys do not have paper or ink at home," mumbled he darkly after sending his letter by owl to his fiancée.
He knew nothing after all about this family, only that it held a kind of tavern in the very city of London bringing together many drunkards… "Does a very ill-famed place seem where you could meet funny customers rather shady," on Lily's own terms. Perhaps Sirius had already set foot there, knowing him. Then the possibility that they had nothing to write about could be plausible, though futile. He also knew he had a cousin with a funny name. "Buddy," "Bradley."
Could they possibly get along? They were the same age after all, but two worlds separated them. His aunt might just forbid him to frequent him for this, not to "contaminate his son by his magic" or another idiocy of the same caliber. Petunia Dursley was apparently of this kind, and her husband Vernon must have been born in the same mold to be able to bear the comments of his wife. The son was therefore very lucky to look like his parents. No, finally, he can never become close with him, and this simple observation is enough to plunge him once again into a deep melancholy.
The fateful day came at the end of the day very quickly, and without even realizing it, the time of departure had finally arrived. The carriage leading them to London was right in front of the entrance door of the fence, pulled by two magnificent Percherons with white robes and led by a house elf named Gizmo, and who for the occasion had been transformed into a human being. The cover could have been perfect if the man did not have the unfortunate tendency to talk about himself in the third person and burst into tears every time someone was polite and nice to him.
James and Matthew had stationed themselves right outside the door of the house, in an improvised hedge of honor to greet their departure and especially that of Harry whom they hoped final. He was also the first to go out, dragging behind him a suitcase of clothing without throwing a single glance towards his father and his brother.
"See you soon, Harry!" James threw joyfully, waving his hand. "Have a good stay with your uncle and aunt!"
"Looking forward to not seeing you again for a long time," he replied as he walked away. "Merlin, not having to live with you anymore will certainly be the best thing there is, no matter how the Dursleys treat me."
For a moment, James was tempted to chase him and give him a final beating as a farewell gift, but the appearance of Lily in the doorway holding the hand of little Rosalyn dissuaded him. He simply cast a scornful look at Harry's back before turning to his wife, who finished putting on a small hat adorned with lace, ribbons, and flowers trimmed over the day cap she was already wearing. Rosie did the same, in a vain attempt to copy her mother. The prospect of leaving for a week in the company of only her mother and older brother seemed to enchant her, and she kept smiling with joy at this thought alone.
It was in a gust of wind and after a quick goodbye to her father that she joined running to her older brother, in the hope maybe that he would consent to feign a dispute for the one who would enter the first in the carriage. Lily, on the other hand, was now saying goodbye to Matthew by hugging him against her, while lavishing him, in passing, some instructions to respect despite the fact that she is not there for several days. Then came James' turn, but while he was already spreading his arms believing that she was going to rush against him to cry with warm tears about the time they would spend away from each other, Lily just tilted her head slightly before moving away in turn, without even giving her a smile.
"M-but Lily, don't I have the right to one last kiss?"
"See you soon, James," she said simply without turning around.
If he thought that Harry's departure would improve his relationship with his wife, he was wrong. For now, it could even be said that it had deteriorated further. That Lily asked to make room apart as soon as she gets home should not even surprise her. Sighing, he made a gesture to his son to follow him into the house to probably go get entangled in the kitchen, or simply have fun as they used to. The rest of the family had now taken a seat in the carriage and waited patiently for it to set out.
"Go, Huu!" threw the house elf outside.
"It's the first time we've ever been together without dad and Matthew!" Rosie exclaimed with a radiant air. "It's going to be great to spend a little time all three of you, huh, Harry?"
"Yes, if you say so," he muttered indifferently as he looked out the window at the scrolling landscape.
Displeased, Rosalyn was about to ask him directly what had been wrong with him for a few days, but his mother dissuaded her with a simple look. Another frown on Lily's part silently ordered her not to try to get the worms out of her nose and leave him alone. So they both spent their time quietly discussing things and other things, not without occasionally glancing discreetly at Harry. His behavior really troubled them, but in Lily's mind, if something went wrong with her son, maybe he'll end up saying it for himself. She hoped that he would confess it to her before she abandoned him. This is how the first three days were spent, three days during which all three spent pleasant days walking around and enjoying the outdoor landscape aboard their car. The stony paths that 'they were constantly shaking the carriage, but far from disturbing, it amused Rosie who took advantage of every moment to have fun, unlike her brother.
Whenever an opportunity arose, she asked for permission to stop for a few moments to go play in the fields and meadows or pick flowers for her mother. Harry and Lily had rarely seen him so cheerful in a long time, even during the meals they enjoyed on the side of the road when they could not find an inn. Fortunately, Gizmo was there to make them eat and find food in the places where they stopped, otherwise the few commodities they had taken away before leaving would have quickly been exhausted.
The only one who did not seem to take part in the general cheerfulness was, of course, Harry, who since his answer to Rosie shortly after their departure, had not said a word, not even smiling, at least not at first. The appearance of a peasant, however, brought him out of the torpor in which he was. The man, an old man with graying hair and ragged clothes, struggled to pull a heavy cart carrying agricultural tools. The season was at the harvest of the fields now, and although already exhausting the task without even having begun his hard work, the man did not cease to give up his smile, he said, especially when he sees Lily and her children eating quietly.
"Good morning, my little lady!" he said as he passed by them. "You are right to enjoy this time. It is not every day that we have a sun like in this country! Where are you going like this, my brave?"
Lily politely asked him, looking at the contents of the cart.
"I'm going to harvest the fruit of my labor! The bad season is approaching! It's a shame to spoil my beautiful shoots! Eul' nourishment she timbe po of the sky, you know?"
"What a strange accent you have there, sir," Rosie couldn't help throwing, repressing a mad laugh.
"Rosie, let's go! It's not very polite to make fun of people, girl!"
"It deres me po, my little lady!" declared the peasant, winking at Rosalyn. "It's true that I have an accent of the country! But speaking of which, where can such a charming little family go, then?"
"We head to London to spend some time there," Lily patiently informed him. "Personal matters await us. Are you in a hurry, my friend?"
"For sure! I've incured a long road to go!"
"Couldn't you stay a few moments to keep us company? We have enough food to support a whole army, and we can if you wish help you pull your cart to your field?"
The man seemed a few moments surprised by Lily's proposal. Perhaps he believed that not all large families wanted to waste their time with a simple peasant, let alone offer to help him. Still, with Lily's insistent gaze, he ends up happily accepting her proposal and joined them to savor the feast of their house elf. The meal has since been much more lively, especially thanks to their new guest who turned out to be - ironically, James. James was never stingy with a story about his youth and all that he had seen in his long life. Many amusing anecdotes were told in this way, even pulling smiles from Harry on numerous occasions. Their guest even proved to be very aware of European news, including the conflict currently between the United Kingdom and part of the other kingdoms of Europe to the French revolutionary armies.
"I'll give you revolutionaries! Her father Boris lost two of his children because of his futile conflict! What an idea to go to war in this land of vermin!"
James didn't like the French, and he made it clear. But their discussion was not only about them, but also about much more fun topics. Time passed surprisingly quickly, and soon Lily proposed to the old man to attach his cart to their carriage in order to lead him to his destination. The journey was probably the most pleasant since their departure from the mansion, and Rosie who had taken affection for the old man did not stop asking him for new stories. It was difficult to know if it was the peasant's stories or his accent that amused him the most.
Unfortunately, every good thing had an end, and came the time of farewell after a long road. The old man was an excellent travelling companion, so his departure hurt all three of them slightly. James nevertheless assured them that the door of his hovel would still be open to them, and that he would be delighted to see them again later if the opportunity arose, by even promising Rosie to teach him some local swear words for "his personal culture."
Their road to London was finally able to resume, and with it, the gloom that Harry had shown since the start. His abrupt change in behavior again intrigued his mother and sister. He who had been very friendly and joyful in the company of old James, here he began to be sullen and unfriendly to them again.
The reason for Harry's silence was finally revealed to him the next day, while they were having lunch at an inn named "Edinburgh Gate." The place was very picturesque and wooded from floor to ceiling. Many people were there, mostly peasants and a few notables, talking out loud without worrying about the rest of the customers who could hear their conversations. The room itself was nevertheless very welcoming, with many square tables lined up facing the windows and a counter behind which a lovely waitress served excellent pints of beer. Too bad the food from the kitchens wasn't as delicious, as the three Potters thought while playing with the vegetables swimming in a soup with a strange taste, to say the least. And to say that they wanted to try the local cuisine... their elf made much better dishes with much fewer ingredients.
"Mom, is that what you eat?" Rosie asked with an air of intrigue, showing him an overcooked vegetable.
"Leave it aside and finish your plate," she said to her, having trouble finishing it herself. "Do you like your meal, Harry?"
Harry, sitting right in front of her, did as usual and did not answer her, keeping his eyes down on his soup plate, looking absent. His attitude began to annoy her from the start. More than a week now that he wasn't picking a word, and for no obvious reason. The penalty now gave way to anger, and without wanting to, she let it slip.
"Well, Harry, I'm starting to get more than enough of your behavior lately! You don't talk anymore, you don't even eat anymore if we don't force you to! You do nothing but look at the landscape and sleep! I demand to know what you have!"
"As if you were interested," he muttered without looking up at her.
"Of course I'm interested, I'm your mother! I care about your well-being! When you are not well, I would like to know so that I can help you overcome your anxieties!"
"And what could you do to help me when if I find myself in this situation, it is only your fault!?"
"What... What do you mean?" she asked without understanding.
Harry finally looked up at her, but the look he was throwing at her completely disarmed her. He had never looked at her with such a hateful face.
"You've been lying to us all along, and I know it. This outing, this trip to recharge your batteries and visit London, this time we spend with family to enjoy everyone without worrying about the disputes between you and James… When were you going to decide to tell me the truth? When you put me outside their door like a thief?"
His remark had the gift of immediately freezing Lily's blood. So he knew what was going to happen to him. He knew that she had accepted James's idea, albeit reluctantly. His attitude was, therefore, obvious, and in the logic of an eight-year-old, having done so must have given him the impression of abandoning him in turn, abandoning him and admitting himself defeated. Despite herself, tears came to her eyes, and in an almost desperate gesture, she tried to take her hand to show him that she was always there for him. But Harry, anticipating her gesture, immediately withdrew her without ceasing to shoot her with his eyes.
"Oh, Harry, I... I'm so sorry. All this should never have happened," she said, burying her face in her hands to mask her tears. "I didn't know how to stand up to them, and now you hate me too…"
Harry, who still resented his mother a lot, was now angry about making her cry. His behavior suddenly seemed totally childish and immature, far from the one he used to have. His little sister watched them interact, without understanding their conversation in the least.
"What's going on?" she asked in a small voice.
"Nothing, Rosie. Finish your plate, darling…"
"Mom, at least once show courage and tell her what will happen when we arrive in London," Harry said in a harsh voice.
"How did you know, Harry? We talked about it late that night…"
"I was woken up by the cries of Sirius, and I went down to the ground floor to see what could have happened," he said, quietly drinking the contents of his glass. "I didn't follow the beginning of your conversation, but I could hear enough to know what it was about: me, obviously, and what my presence within the family was causing to your couple and to Matthew…"
Throughout her story, Lily could easily understand why her son had so much resentment towards her. Despite his young age, he had understood perfectly the slightest words of Dumbledore and James, and also the proposal made by the director concerning him. Using children's words to tell this conversation that he should not have heard hurt her all the more because she realized that her son had accepted with fatality the choice made by his parents, and this, without trying to prevent it or even run away. No, he had simply preferred to direct all his anger and sadness against her and James.
"To know that for James, I am nothing but a good-for-nothing, useless son whom he would be delighted to get rid of, I can easily realize. But that you approve of his words by accepting the crazy old man's proposal, it hurt me deeply."
"What proposal?" Rosalyn asked with concern. "Mom, but what's going on?"
"Rosie... Your brother is going to live in London for a while."
The shocked expression on Rosie's face hurt almost as badly as Harry's hurtful words. Seeing her daughter's eyes fill with tears and understanding that it meant that she would no longer see her brother for a certain period of time made her want to melt into it, weeping. But they had to stay strong, despite everything.
"Wh-what!?" sadly exclaimed Rosie by turning a few glances toward Harry. "You're lying, Mom, that's not true! Harry can't go!"
"I'm going to leave, and even you can't change anything, Rosie," Harry told her dryly. "My dear parents decided that I was no longer needed in their home and chose to give me as a gift to Mom's sister. Matthew will be able to have his parents with him while I am at Petunia Dursley, the woman whose mom keeps saying horrors about how she treated her. Wonderful, isn't it? I knew that I was not loved, but I must admit that as proof of love, you rarely did worse!"
"I don't hate you, Harry!" Lily almost screamed as she rose furiously from her chair. "If you think this situation delights me, you are completely wrong!"
"If you really didn't want to send me there, then you should have done everything to stop it! In addition, it was you who proposed that I be sent to her home!"
On this point, Harry had everything wrong, but at eight years old, we only heard what we wanted to hear. Lily had not proposed it but had simply listed her relatives still alive, and Petunia was at the top of the list.
"It's the worst thing you've ever done to me! I hate you!"
CLAC.
The slap left without even realizing it itself. The noise echoed throughout the room, as it was plunged for the first time into silence. Even the waitress had stopped wiping her glasses to watch the argument that was taking place a few meters from her. Harry was shocked, to say the least. This was probably the first time that his mother had raised her hand on him. He was not used to it, but his burning cheek reminded him of the countless slaps given by James. Without further ado, his mother took him abruptly by the sleeve of his jacket and pulled him toward the exit, Rosie on the heels.
People were straying in its path, perhaps for fear of suffering the wrath of a furious witch, and there was what. Lily was especially scary when she was pissed off, so much so that the front door opened by itself to let her out. Once outside, she dragged her son away, behind the inn, and when she was certain that they were safe from prying eyes, she turned around to him and took him by the shoulders to face him.
"Now you're gonna listen to me, Harry. This decision was made by your father and Dumbledore, not me! I never wanted you to go to this horrible place, or even leave the house! If it had been me, you would have been in a much more welcoming home, but a woman's opinion is never taken into account, even in our time…"
"So why not confide in Remus or even the Greengrass?"
"Let me finish it!" she replied harshly. "I was gonna come. Leaving you with Remus could have been extremely dangerous for you, given your godfather's lycanthropy. Remus himself would probably have refused to ensure your safety and avoid any overflow. On top of that, he's part of the phoenix order, so he's in a relationship with your father and Dumbledore. If these two ever found out that I had entrusted you to him, You, Remus, and even I would have had problems! As for the Greengrass, it is also about their safety! James could very well use this to make the people think they took you away. You know how much he hates them!"
His arguments were convincing, to say the least, and swept aside with a gesture everything he could have said to affirm that he would have been better off with his godfather or the Greengrass family. Lord Greengrass was already having trouble silencing rumors about him by trying to prove that he was not a servant of the lord of darkness, so giving James the opportunity to see him end up in a cell in Azkaban, him and his wife, for a fake kidnapping was not possible. It would have been more damaging to Daphne and Astoria, and that was something he did not want. Daphne was his fiancée after all, although on paper for now, but he already loved her very much. What a strange gift he would have given her.
"So... I am condemned to spend the next three years with Aunt Petunia?" he muttered pitifully.
"You're not going to your aunt's house."
His affirmation made him raise his head and open his eyes. Didn't he go to the Dursleys? But that's what he thought he heard that night. Was her mother lying to her again? Hard to say. Never would she invent something so big for the simple purpose of dispelling his certainties. He, who had made a reason for himself for more than a week now, now it was thrown in his face that everything he believed was false.
"I... I don't go to her house?" he repeated almost fearfully, as he still could not believe.
"No. I, living, will never leave you in the hands of this woman," his mother firmly declared.
"But... Where will I go, then?"
"To an orphanage."
If hearing that he wasn't going to the Dursleys had already been a shock to him, discovering that now he would go to an orphanage was even worse. The orphanage was, for him, the place where parents got rid of their children when they didn't want them anymore, or when they didn't have enough to feed them. Sometimes, even the children no longer had a parent and fell there because they could not find any other solution to survive. Being surrounded by children was not what frightened him the most, but the prospect of spending several years in a place that was completely foreign to him and without his family was difficult for him to bear.
However, it was the only solution that Lily had found to spare him the presence of her aunt's family. Nothing could be worse than that, and from the little she had seen by secretly transplanting inside the tavern held by Vernon Dursley, family life inside was never rosy. At least she was certain that being away from Dumbledore and James for a while would be an easy task by placing him in an orphanage. The headmaster of Hogwarts would never set foot in such a place. And then, she can always come back for him when he is eleven years old to start his schooling at Hogwarts.
"At the orphanage?" Harry repeated once again as his little sister placed a hand over his mouth, herself shocked by the turn of events.
"This is the only solution I have found," she confessed nervously. "The best thing is that you're away from the magical world for a while for your safety, and since I have no kinship or even friends in the Muggle world, in the end, I only have this idea to protect you."
"B-but... Is it not there that abandoned children are sent?"
"I have already gone to this orphanage to explain the situation to the person in charge. She agreed to take you for the next three years, for a certain amount of money. Therefore, unlike other children, you will not be a candidate for adoption but a simple resident."
A silence finally settled between them, contrasting with the explosive conversation they had had a few minutes earlier. Lily took advantage of this moment to tenderly caress the cheek of her son, whose apprehension she could easily see read through his face.
"Believe me, Harry, I don't like this situation as much as you do," she said, away from all the hassle caused by your little brother and father. Take advantage of this freedom to open up a little more to the world and why not make friends. God knows that you have trouble connecting with other people."
"B-but, Mom, I... Everything will be so hard away from you and Rosie…"
"I know, but you will see that the time will seem less long to you while occupying yourself. Teach yourself, have fun, marvel at all the riches that the world offers us until you receive your letter from Hogwarts. At that point, I will come back to get you, and you can come back home."
"But what if Dad doesn't want it anymore? What if... if he wanted me to stay there and not come back again?"
It was an eventuality she herself had considered, but no case allowed her to do anything if James wanted to do that. The only possibility could have been to run away with Harry and Rosie, but that would have left them with no money or housing. A situation that scared her despite herself.
"No matter what, Harry, I will always be with you, no matter what your father says," she said, trying to reassure him.
"Why can't we just go away and never go back home, Mom?" Rosie asked him as she interfered in the conversation.
"It's impossible, my dear. Your father controls all the vaults and movable property we own because the magic law allows him to. I have no control over our wealth and can only withdraw money with your father's consent. If I ever left, I would therefore not have the opportunity to serve myself in our safe to support ourselves."
"And if you... Uh... what's the word, Harry? You know when two people don't love each other and separate?"
"Divorce?" Lily proposed. "It's a very frowned-upon practice, Rosie, even among Muggles. In the event of divorce, the spouse recovers the entire wealth of the couple as well as the furniture and even the children. I would have nothing in return, not even a simple noise. I will be like those people who are given food, remember?"
"So he... There's nothing we can do to avoid this?" hiccupped her daughter, starting to cry again. "I... I'm going to be separated from Harry because of Matthew's popularity and because Dad is an idiot?!"
Lily contented herself with sadly acquiescing, before taking Rosie in her arms to rock her as she cried over her shoulder. Harry stood beside them, lost in thought. Whatever he did, there was no possibility of going back, and anyway, his mother herself had said she had been thinking about it all week. Merlin knew how much when Lily threw herself into something close to her heart, she gave herself body and soul to it. If she hadn't found anything, then there was nothing to do. And to say that he hated her for what was happening to her, when in the end, she herself was a victim. He'd growl.
"Mom, I... I'm sorry."
"It does not matter, Harry," she reassured him by continuing to comfort his daughter. "I know it must have been hard for you to know what was going to happen to you. I would have reacted the same way if it had happened to me."
"No, my attitude toward you and Rosie is unforgivable... I should have been more open and talked to you directly about this specific subject, instead of pitying me about my fate and spending my time avoiding you. I have hurt you by doing so, and I regret it."
Tears were once again beginning to flow down her cheeks, and Lily noticed it maybe before they even started it because less than ten seconds later, she said, Harry, in turn, found himself in his arms in such a soothing embrace.
"I will never doubt you again, Mom," he swore between sniffles. "You're so good to me; I was a fool to think you could take Dumbledore's side…"
"It's because you don't know the unbreakable bond that connects a mother to her children, Harry. The words of a senile old man like Dumbledore can do nothing against this."
After another minute of silence, Lily stood up, and for the first time since their discussion, a sincere smile appeared on her face.
"Would you like to leave now and finally enjoy all three of this wonderful ballad?"
Two nods later, and mother and children hit the road again in a newfound good mood. Their trip since that day was much more enjoyable for all three. Harry had finally put aside all the grudge he had buried in him and spent most of his time playing with his sister and mother, as if to enjoy the last moments in their company. Merlin, and to say that he originally intended to deprive himself of this. What a sad image he would leave them.
His mother had wanted to take Rosie with her to spend their time together, and he had almost ruined it because of his stupidity. He resented it and did his best to make up for lost time. Lily herself decided to extend her intimate moments a little longer by taking a much longer route to London by taking trails easily bypassing the city and its periphery.
James could well go to hell; their vacation, since she considered it as such, was so much more relaxing, far from the worries caused by her husband. But it was necessary to put an end one day to their walk, and already the first villages preceding the capital of the United Kingdom appeared on their way. As they progressed, the crowd grew more and more consistent, and Harry had to admit that he had never seen so many people, let alone Muggles. All social categories mingled together, forming a real rainbow of color where the most beautiful fabrics rubbed shoulders with rags. Peasants and figures of the English high nobility paraded before their eyes, each dealing with their little affairs.
As they progressed into the very heart of London, Harry could easily notice many men wearing a red uniform and all holding a long rifle at the end of which stood a bayonet. Probably some soldiers.
"Old James was not wrong about this ongoing war," Rosie commented as she also looked at the soldier regiments on their way. "Do wizards have an army too?"
"I do not believe we have one," she replied, looking curiously at the military as well. "We have the Aurors to ensure our safety, but it is true that some soldiers in case of conflict with another nation would not be refused. I doubt, however, that such a thing can happen; we are not numerous enough to allow us this kind of fantasy."
The English soldiers had at least the merit of brightening up a little the city of London, which was very picturesque, far from the idea that Harry had made himself of such a prestigious city. The legend that this city was continuously under a cloudy sky was perhaps not so devoid of common sense, since they themselves suffered a similar weather. The clouds above the city were full of rain and threatened at any moment to pour down the crowd liters of water. It would not have made any difference anyway given that the houses and other buildings forming the streets of London were just as dull as the sky above them. Perhaps they would even have allowed to clean a little the dirt encrusted on some.
The roads of the capital were wide and paved but very dirty, and many poor people had made their homes there. The Thames itself, by which they passed, was more like an open sewer than a river, and on a few occasions, Harry thought he saw lifeless bodies along the docks a few times. The impression given him by the paths they took was far from good.
To tell the truth, he would rather tend to find the atmosphere inside Muggle London disturbing than agonizing. Better not to hang out in the middle of the night in its alleys. The people they met didn't seem particularly cheerful, mostly displaying resigned or sullen mines for some reason. The only places where important activities took place were the market, where each street trader competed with the others to attract as many buyers as possible, and the military hospital from where they could get a glimpse of the terrible injuries caused by enemy bullets. Harry had to block his sister's sight by seeing the amputated limbs of some wounded who gave him nausea himself.
"Well thought Harry," complimented his mother by looking away from this sad show.
The image of the survivors of the battle of Cape Saint Vincent remained engraved for a long time in their memory, but all three had the opportunity to chase this horrible memory from their memory a few minutes later. The carriage had finally stopped in the middle of a surprisingly deserted street, and Harry was able to contemplate from the window the vast building behind a large wrought iron fence that dominated all its height, the other dwellings and commerce around.
"It's here," Lily informed him as if to answer her question.
Merlin, this place was an orphanage? It would, in any case, have been perfect to serve as inspiration for a castle of horrors. The "Wool's Orphanage," since it featured this name above the entrance gate, was an old building with a dilapidated appearance by time and conflict. The once red stones of the building were now a cluster of colors ranging from greenish to black through gray and faded red. Three huge windows faced the small courtyard separating the entrance gate from the main door, and the tiles of each of them were just as dirty as the rest of the building.
"Looking from the corner of Rosie's eye down from the carriage, she could see, as at home, the same look of fright on her face, probably due to the thought that her big brother could spend three years in this place. A small voice in her head screamed at her not to put her feet in it and find refuge elsewhere, but it would be suicidal on his part, not to mention that according to his own mother, the place was the best orphanage in London.
'I must admit that its external aspect is not very bright,' confessed Lily, looking at the mines displayed by her two children, 'but the owner of the place assured me that there was nothing better in the whole city. I didn't have the courage to check his words.'
Gizmo interrupted their discussion by slamming more violently than Harry's trunk on the pavement, causing a general start from the three Potters.
'Forgive me, Mistress Lily!' he immediately exclaimed, prostrating himself before them in the middle of the road. 'Gizmo is a bad house elf unable to lift a trunk! Gizmo must punish himself!'
'Gizmo, please stop!' Lily implored him when she saw him start banging his forehead on the cold stone of the street. 'It is not worth doing this!'
Fortunately, no one was on the street; otherwise, the show Gizmo was doing would have surprised more than one. He finally stopped his self-flagellation and dragged Harry's trunk to the portal; the air sounded slightly. Meanwhile, the three Potters were already starting their farewells, at least each was looking into the other's eyes as if to know which one would end up openly saying goodbye to the other.
It was finally Rosalyn who put an end to this battle of looks by literally throwing herself to squeeze him in her tiny arms. She didn't seem to want to let go of him, clinging desperately to his jacket, all the while sobbing at him. Harry clumsily stroked her hair to try to console her without making her stop what she was doing. He himself was touched by his gesture and his willingness not to want to abandon him, but unfortunately for them, it was necessary.
'Come on Rosie, it's only for three years!' he reassured her awkwardly to try to give himself courage. 'Please be a big girl…'
'But it's so hard,' she squealed as she buried her face in her brother's torso. 'Don't have you with me all this time, know that you'll be alone in this sinister place because of Matthew and dad… They are the ones who should leave and leave us in peace!'
'Don't say... They do what they think is right, quite simply. But when I come back, we'll never be apart again, and we can start doing what we're both doing, like before.'
'Do you promise me that?'
'Promised, and I never go back on my word.'
His sister acquiesced and agreed to release him, without ceasing to cry. Then came the turn of his mother, but this time it was Harry who took the front and clasped his waist in an embrace to make a snake jealous. It may be the last time before long that he would see her, so he wanted in this gesture to show her all the love he had for her, but also memorize this scene to support the next few years.
'Take care of yourself, Harry,' mumbled his mother with her head on his shoulder. 'Be wise and don't do nonsense…'
'That's not my type, Mom,' he couldn't stop letting go. 'I leave that to James and Matthew.'
Lily chuckled very briefly and slightly loosened her embrace to fix it for long seconds in the eyes. She herself wanted to memorize the face of her eldest son from every angle, so as not to forget the slightest detail.
'If you ever have any problem and you want to tell me about it, do not hesitate to send me a letter using the postal mail of Traverse Road. The Leaky Cauldron is on Charring Cross Road, so you can't miss it. Do not forget to brush your teeth morning, noon, and evening, to eat cleanly and without staining your clothes. Thank God you didn't inherit your father's table manners. Be polite to others, and do not argue with each other unless you find it justified. Ne…'
Her recommendations lasted a very long time, even for Harry, but he knew that she only acted like all mothers after all. He had also been able to notice it the few times he had attended this kind of farewell scene between mothers and children before their departure to Hogwarts. In a sense, it was as if he himself was going, except that his absence would last several years.
'Well, I think I told you everything,' Lily muttered in a sad voice.
A few seconds passed before she hugged him again, quickly joined by Rosie.
'Goodbye, Harry... I love you, my treasure,' she murmured tenderly as she kissed his forehead.
'See you soon, Mom. I love you so much…'
As suddenly as she had hugged him, Lily released him and got back up. Their last gesture towards the other ended like this, and after a last look where Harry could clearly read all the distress that was at the bottom of her, Lily entered the carriage by slightly forcing Rosie who did not want to abandon her brother. Gizmo himself said goodbye to his young master by fucking his feet while mumbling, 'Goodbye, my good master Harry! Poor Gizmo will miss you so much! A master so noble that you do not deserve to live this!', before getting back on the driver's seat and advancing the two horses with a whip. The coach shook and started its race to the Potter mansion, with one passenger less. Harry watched his parents' car drive away with unnamed sadness. His sister had also passed her head through one of the windows and was frantically shaking her hand to greet him, eyes dripping with tears.
'I love you, big brother! Don't forget me!'"
"Never!"
The silhouette of the carriage became smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing in a bend, leaving the street now completely deserted. Alone. For the first time in his life, he was left to himself, in a city he did not know, with his only luggage being a trunk full of clothing and without anyone to entrust his discomfort. But the time was not yet for depression, and the crying would come later.
It is with a decided step that he crossed the portal of the orphanage to move towards the front door. His steps echoed in the deafening silence of the courtyard, giving him the space of a moment the strange impression of being a convict led to the scaffold. His trunk weighed a ton, but it didn't matter. It was better to enter this place as quickly as possible rather than continue for a long time to endure this agonizing calm. But the little courage he had quickly faded when he found himself facing the scaled wooden door of the orphanage.
'You can do it, Harry, it's just a door, you can't stay in front of her indefinitely for three years…'
Blowing a good blow, he decided to open it, not without pushing the door with all his strength, which immediately began to squeak, and he could finally have before his eyes the interior of the building in which he will spend his next years. The place was vast and gloomy. The room was only used as a lobby, but it was twice the size of the living room of the Potter mansion. There was not the slightest piece of furniture in sight, except for a window behind which an old woman with wrinkled skin and severe air was styling her hair in a tight bun. The walls of the once white room had long since taken on a dirty, gray color. The frame adorning the corners of the walls, ceiling, and skirting boards was a very dark, almost black color, while the floor consisted only of black and white tiling, which was the only touch of decoration in the room. A huge staircase was on his right, right next to the counter. From where he was, Harry could not distinguish anything at the top, but the darkness that increased as the steps went by boded nothing good for anyone fearing the dark. Two doors were present in the room: one behind the teller serving as an office or room for employees, etc., and another on the left of the front door beyond which Harry could hear the sound of cutlery colliding on plates.
'Surely the refectory,' he thought about approaching the counter.
Carrying his heavy suitcase behind, he took the time to advance cautiously towards the old lady, who did not seem to have noticed his arrival. To tell the truth, she had not even noticed his presence in the room, and continued to absent-mindedly finish her work with her hair. Could she be deaf? This was what he thought when, after clearing his throat three times, his interlocutor had not looked up at him.
'Excuse me? You hear me?'
Noting that despite his efforts, nothing was done, he went to plan B: use the bell placed prominently on the counter. For good measure, he pressed heavily on it and the noise caused by the small object caused a din of thunder to startle the old lady from her seat. At first shocked, she finally looked at Harry, but his face was far from friendly as he quickly noticed.
'Are you not ashamed to frighten an old woman like that, young man? Maybe it amuses you!'
'Forgive me, madam, but I have called you, you…'
'What do you say?' she interrupted him in a harsh voice. 'Speak louder, I hear nothing!'
Her first impression was confirmed: she was indeed deaf.
'I said that although I have called you many times, you did not pay attention to me!' he exclaimed, raising his tone slightly.
'You say!? You want chocolate!?'
To avoid letting escape the frustration that was beginning to appear in him, Harry preferred to take out the letter Lily had given him earlier and handed it to the old woman who immediately hurried to read it. Minutes passed, and Harry wondered for a moment if she could read. After all, it was not uncommon in those days to meet people who could not read or write. His interlocutor nevertheless roamed the parchment line after line with her eyes. At least she knew how to decipher her mother's careful writing. After a while, she rested the sheet on her counter and took a brief look at Harry before resting her pair of glasses in her case.
'Are you the son of this charming woman who came last week to inform us that she wanted to entrust us with your custody for a certain period of time?' she asked Harry who approved with a nod to avoid having to talk. 'Your mother paid a large sum of money to pay for your stay with us. So you will not need to perform the same chores as other children, or even work.'
'Oh, but I don't mind, you know!' he intervened hurriedly, seeing this as an opportunity to befriend other children.
'You will, however, be housed and fed in the same way as the others,' she added without taking into account his remark. 'Your privileges stop there. In any case, there is no private room, except for the members of the staff. You will, therefore, sleep in the same dormitory as the other children and dine with them. Is that clear?'
Harry approved again with a nod. This woman did not seem very comfortable. So it was better to keep a low profile and not challenge her word.
'I suppose you already know how to read and write?' she suddenly asked, glancing at Harry's clothes. 'I am not used to seeing children coming to my institute dressed in this way. But don't take the opportunity to brag about others because you're part of a big family, young man.'
'That was not my intention…'
'We allow our orphans to take some reading, mathematics, history, and some other subjects that we teach from time to time. You can, of course, participate in it. Do you have any questions?'
'No, madam, I have perfectly com…'
'What do you say?' she interrupted him again, stretching out her ear.
'I said that I fully understood what you told me and have no question!'
'All right, then I'll drive you to your dorm in this case.'
Rising from her seat, she went around the counter, beckoning him as she passed to follow her. Harry obediently followed her up the stairs, which they climbed one after the other, in a concert of sinister crunches. The money paid by his mother could at least be used to repair some small things in this establishment, he said. His guide did not bother, however, to help him pack up his suitcase and let him perform this task without remorse. This woman was definitely not very friendly.
'Everyone is awake at the latest at seven in the morning,' she informed him by driving him once up through a long corridor. 'The toilet is done in common in this room,' she said, pointing to a door. 'Here is the sanitary facilities, a small luxury that you will never see in another orphanage. Until recently, the children were doing their commissions in the court latrines, but the royal court of the United Kingdom has funded some work in our establishment. Once ready, you will be taken to the refectory at the bottom where you will, of course, dine with the rest of our dependent children. Any child not being able to arrive on time for meals will, of course, be deprived of it. We then propose certain activities such as those that I mentioned to you a moment ago."
His speech continued for a long time, during which Harry understood that the day was generally oriented around various tasks to be accomplished, tasks from which he was exempted because of the money that Lily had paid. Additionally, there were visits from potential parents for the young orphans at the institute she ran. One of the only positives was the free time that children used to walk quietly through the streets of London until curfew. At least, he himself would be able to discover a little about this city of which he knew nothing except the way to Traverse. Perhaps he would even venture there a few times, even if the risk was great.
His heart squeezed slightly, thinking that he might even cross paths with his mother and Rosie there, but it would be impossible for him to get in touch with them. The gap separating them seemed even bigger now. His dark thoughts were nevertheless interrupted by the opening of a door in a new squeaking concert.
The room he discovered beyond was very spacious and full in length. Two rows of beds with white sheets were facing each other, each placed just in front of a high window. Each bed had on one side a small bedside table and a chest of drawers on the other, the bare necessities in short. Most were already showing signs of life with a few toys laid out on them and textbooks of history and literature, but everything was in perfect order. Nothing hung on the beds, and they themselves were made in perfect order and care. One couldn't do any better, except maybe be in the army. The room itself was sad to the point of tears and gave off no emotion, and the gray and cracked walls did not help matters. Was this orphanage really one of the most famous in England? Some doubts remained.
"This is the place where you will sleep," said his companion, looking from the corner of her eye at his reaction. "The money that your mother gave does not include a service to have someone give you a hand up to your bed, so I will let you take care of it yourself. Your comrades should soon be done with dinner, so do not be afraid: you will soon no longer be alone."
Without another word, the old woman turned away and left the room, slamming the door. The noise echoed through the room, where he was totally alone at present. Merlin, the next three years were in danger of becoming painful at that rate, and it took only a second to regret James and the comfort of the mansion as he set out to seek a free space for himself. No, nothing could be worse than James and the tyranny he abused over and over again. For his mother, for Rosie, and even for Daphne, he would hold out, whatever the price.
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