Did I Do That? Chapter 1: Would Have Done, an avengers fanfic

'Sup?

So . . . by now, it should be fairly noticeable that I hate clichés and tropes in fic that make little sense (I gave up on the movies making any kind of sense around AoU). So my muse, in her infinite wisdom, decided that a series of short (for me) one-shots refuting conventional explanations was the solution. So it seems that I'll writing them as I run into them and get inspired, and will post them as one long, multi-chaptered story (unbetad, unless someone wants the job, because I literally wrote this in an hour, left it for a day, came back and cleaned it up, and am feeling seriously pushed to post it). So it's going to show as incomplete for . . . well, heaven only knows. There are at least two more stories that are ready for me start writing them, and another one is starting to grumble, so keep an eye on this space. And before I'm done, they will likely involve everyone but the GotG crew (haven't seen any of the movies, don't plan to), and probably not Thor, either (don't hate him, but don't love him either)

The catalyst for this chapter is seeing Rogers accusing Tony and/or Rhodes of doing the same thing for each other that he did for Barnes - you know, hurt and kill innocent civilians and destroy roads, bridges, and airports - and Tony and/or Rhodes sheepishly acknowledging that yes, they would in fact do those things and thus, stop holding Rogers accountable for those particular actions.

Sorry, but that's crap, because canonically, they don't. Rhodes does not destroy Afghanistan in IM1 while he's looking for Tony, and Tony doesn't level Tennessee while rescuing Pepper in IM3. So seeing them written as apologists for something they did not do to justify inexcusable actions irritates the hell out of me.

Therefore, I present:

The catalyst for this one is seeing Rogers accusing Tony and/or Rhodes of doing the same thing for each other that he did for Barnes - you know, hurt and kill innocent civilians and destroy roads, bridges, and airports - and Tony and/or Rhodes sheepishly acknowledging that yes, they would in fact do those things and thus, stop holding Rogers accountable for those particular actions.

Therefore, I present:

Would Have Done

Despite literal years of experience, in both observation and participation, Tony Stark would never stop being astonished at seeing just utterly stupid politicians could be.

Case in point: since Matthew Ellis didn't need to worry about running for reelection, he'd decided to push through pardoning Rogers and his motley crew because 'it wasn't fair to let other countries take on the burden of housing a team of super-powered Americans'.

Which would have been fine, had he actually thrown their sorry asses into prison. But nooooo. No, can't do that. Because then he'd have to admit that he screwed up in not just allowing Steve Rogers the freedom and power that the man had never earned and didn't have the slightest clue how to use, but also in refusing to rein him in. He was a battering ram, nothing more . . . but he was dangerous because he believed his own press releases and genuinely thought he was both invincible and always, immutably right.

Romanova knew better, and Barton probably did as well, but they went along with it because she could manipulate Rogers at will, and Barton just liked blowing shit up, something Rogers excelled at. Wilson . . . all the evidence pointed to him removing his brain and leaving it in a jar by the sink approximately five minutes after meeting Rogers. And Maximoff would say and do whatever it took to make sure the so-called 'greatest tactical mind of the century' continued to function as her emotional sugar daddy. Lang had, at least, found the intelligence to run screaming back to San Francisco and the not-remotely-tender mercies of Hank Pym, while Hope van Dyne moved to New York to join Tony and Rhodes' new team.

Still, Tony being, you know, Tony Stark, had enough influence to refuse to allow them to live in any of his or SI's properties. He'd also refused to work directly on their team, but unfortunately, every so often, a mission called for all twelve of the current active roster of Avengers and this had been one of them. Surprising exactly no one but Rogers and Maximoff, the five people operating under War Machine's command had caused almost no property damage and there were no civilian casualties, and fewer than ten injuries, none of them serious.

Neither the UN nor the Accords panels were happy about the results of this mission, since it was their necks on the line in spite of Ellis' moronic decision to simply issue blanket pardons for the US, and all five members of Rogers' team had accrued their first strike — something that Tony was 99.9% certain they were unaware of because he knew damn good and well that Rogers, Wilson, Maximoff, and Barton hadn't bothered to actually read the conditions of their pardons before signing them, and none of them had really looked over the revised Accords, either. Romanova he wasn't sure about; she was definitely intelligent enough to understand them, but her arrogance and ego were such that Tony honestly wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't bothered to read them either. But they'd all said that yes, they had read and understood both documents, so — since they were all legal adults — those in charge had accepted that, with the understanding that they also accepted the consequences for breaking the rules and conditions listed therein.

At the moment, though, that was all a moot point. Tempers were high because they had just finished the mandatory post-mission debriefing, which had been ruthless in pointing out the deficiencies — no, the fuck-ups — involved, all of which were all caused by Rogers' team this time, when Barton made a snotty comment about Tony still not being a team player and finally pushed things too far.

But it wasn't Tony who went over the edge.

"Enough, Barton!" James Rhodes bellowed, lunging to his feet. His chest was heaving from the force of his fury and the entire room went dead silent at his outburst. "You can't find your ass with both hands, a map, and a flashlight if someone doesn't give you step-by-step instructions, whereas Iron Man has the knowledge, experience, and initiative to think for himself and find other, potentially better, solutions. More importantly, he has earned my trust in his abilities and therefore, my permission to make a decision or alter my orders if he truly believes it's necessary, and he will explain his reasoning to his team once it's safe to do so."

He paused for a few heartbeats, breathing heavily, before pinning the stunned Barton with a contemptuous look and finishing, "I wouldn't trust you to teach a rock how to fall off a cliff without Romanova holding your hand and a back-up rock. And since you were the one who abandoned his post because Romanova got a hangnail—"

"Hey, that is completely uncalled for," Rogers interrupted, giving Rhodes the disappointed look that irritated the hell out of virtually everyone who knew him. "There is no need to denigrate Clint or Nat for being partners. Just because you don't have that bond doesn't mea—"

He was interrupted by the harsh laughter of not one, but two men: James Rhodes and Tony Stark.

"Don't have that kind of bond?!" Tony finally managed to wheeze, tears of mirth streaming from his eyes as he slowly got himself under control and straightened, giving Rhodes a quick look to see if he was similarly recovering before looking back at Rogers. "I know you're oblivious to — well, to just about everything, but were you actually serious, Rogers?"

The blond frowned, clearly disliking the scornful derision he didn't understand but just as clearly unwilling to admit his lack of knowledge lest people think he wasn't actually perfect. It took more of his control than Tony liked to keep from rolling his eyes at this display of hubris while Rhodes took the opportunity to try, yet again, to educate Steve Rogers on something he should have already known.

"When Tony was abducted in Afghanistan, who do you think led the search?" he demanded in scathing tones, the fire in his eyes working a minor miracle by refusing to let Rogers look away. "That would be me. And it wasn't just because he's my closest friend or that I was the military liaison to Stark Industries. It was because I had the training, the experience, and the rank necessary to handle the search."

The pointed reminder of things that everyone knew Rogers himself did not possess made him bristle, but Rhodes didn't take the bait and further antagonize him. Instead, he took a deep breath and forced himself to be the professional that he was.

"Did you know, Rogers, that the search should have ended at four weeks? But because of who Tony is, and who I am to him, I got special permission to extend it for another fourteen days. But after that, without so much as a hint of a lead, I was forced by the powers that be to call it off. It had reached the point of diminishing returns." This got him a blank look that finally made Rhodes roll his eyes. "We were pouring massive amounts of time, effort, and money into something that was achieving zero results. And despite the snide remark I can see in your eyes, Rogers, yes, money is important. Without it, things cannot get done."

Rogers was clearly torn between frowning in confusion because he clearly didn't understand the point of this tangent, and protesting that money shouldn't matter. Rhodes and Tony both sighed on seeing it, but neither bothered to address it. Hopefully, things would become clear in a few more minutes.

"But because I know Tony," Rhodes continued, "I kept searching on my own. Which means, Rogers, that I did not use the military's resources. I used my own. My money, my time, my effort. I called in favors I was owed, promised new ones, and did everything I reasonably could as a civilian to find Tony. I didn't even ask Pepper to let me use SI for help, because they're an international company and that would have either broken laws or violated company standards and agreements."

Rogers' frown deepened, but he said nothing, and Rhodes decided to take that as a positive sign, though it also irritated him enough to let it show just a little.

"Do you know what else I didn't do, Rogers?" he snapped, clearly startling the other man. "I didn't just waltz into a country where I had a potential lead. I asked permission and if I was denied, I didn't go. Did I hate it? Of course. People were denying me the chance to look for my best friend, my brother. But they had the right to do so and since I wasn't 100% certain he was there, I had no counter-argument. When I was granted permission to enter and search, you know what I didn't do? Attack the officials and local law enforcement they sent to accompany me, because I was American military coming to foreign soil on personal, non-military business, which is frequently a cover for spying. I obeyed the rules and boundaries I was given and at no point attempted to threaten or harm my escorts. And the civilians I came across, well . . . I did try to ask if they knew anything, but if they didn't or just didn't want to talk to me, which was most of the time, actually, then I let it go and moved on. I didn't hurt them or destroy their homes and towns because they were keeping me from finding my best friend after he'd been abducted by terrorists."

Rhodes stopped there and leaned forward, his eyes going dark and cold as he effortlessly stared the other man down. "You're trying to justify your rampant, wanton destruction by telling yourself that anyone else would burn down the world to save their best buddy. Wrong. What James Buchanan Barnes is to you, Tony Stark is to me. But I'm not the kind of man you are, and even if I were, Tony would have been horrified, furious, and heartbroken to find out I'd hurt innocent people while I was looking for him. Hell, I try not to hurt innocent bystanders when I'm guarding his back on a mission! He wouldn't even have liked it if had happened should I have found him first and actually rescued him," Rhodes sneered, making Steve blink and swallow. He was clearly shocked at being so blatantly called out with reasoning he couldn't instantly refute.

While he was spluttering, Tony laid a hand on Rhodes' shoulder and gave him a proud smile. "That's my Platypus," he praised. "Badass to the bone." His gaze shifted to Rogers and darkened with disgust. "As for me," he spat, leaning forward and glaring so furiously at the blond that a few sparks formed on the table, "I was in the same situation when Killian took Pepper. I went after her with everything I had, yes. And I killed every single one of his goons, thugs, and associates who got between me and her and stayed there. But not ONCE did I hurt a civilian. I worked my ass off trying to direct the fight to a less populated area for the sole purpose of reducing casualties and property damage. And when I couldn't do it, and people were hurt anyway, I apologized to them and their families. I personally helped them rebuild and offered money for hospital and living expenses. And you know, not everyone accepted," he added, startling the entire room. "A few of them refused because they knew it hadn't been intentional and they could clearly see our efforts to keep them safe and actually said that I shouldn't be held responsible for something I could not stop or even really control. One couple refused my help because Killian did the damage and they wanted him — or rather, his money — to pay for it."

For a few seconds he paused, clearly remembering those events, then pinned Rogers with another dark, angry glare. "But I still took responsibility and apologized and did what I could to help them, to make things better," he seethed, the fury he was feeling palpable. "If there wasn't video evidence proving it, you won't even admit you were there when things go wrong. And it's always someone else's fault. Every. Single. Time."

He stopped again, breathing heavily, his rage palpable, and Rogers swallowed. Barton and Wilson were shocked, while Romonova looked calculating and Maximoff, as always, sneered. Rhodes genuinely could not understand why the UN had decided to allow her back in such close proximity with Tony, given her loud declarations of hate. More importantly, he couldn't figure out why they were forcing Tony into the same position.

(two days later, he would discover it was part of a joint UN/Accords Panel plan to . . . encourage . . . the people who thought 'fostering the 'idea of reconciliation' is better than admitting your mistakes and forming a better, stronger reality' to finally see sense. Neither entity could tell America (or any country) not to do something specific in their own country, but they could at least attempt to mitigate the results for everyone else. That was why Russia's famed Black Widow program not only petered out less than two decades after the UN's inception, but wasn't replicated elsewhere: the UN had made it impossible for those operatives to act freely, even when they did so illegally.

"You see, Rogers, despite your belief that you and only you are right and know what's best, other people's thoughts, opinions, and actions matter," Tony informed him in an icy voice. "And like Rhodey, I understand that Pepper's life isn't worth more than anyone else. I mean, to me personally, yes, she's everything. But Rhodey's right: I would have been furious if he'd hurt anyone but the people who kidnapped me. Pepper?" He and Rhodes both shuddered. "She'd have skinned me alive and covered me in salt if I deliberately hurt people for her sake."

Tony's rage flared higher when Rogers got a mutinous look and said, "Those people were trying to kill Bucky."

And finally, finally, Tony Stark exploded.

It was glorious.

"NO, THEY FUCKING WEREN'T!" he screamed, as the giant screen on the wall turned on and began to display pictures and personal data. "THE SIX-YEAR-OLD BOY IN BUCHAREST WAS NOT TRYING TO KILL BARNES! THE 82-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER WAS NOT TRYING TO KILL BARNES! THE 24-YEAR-OLD PREGNANT WIFE WHO WAS AT HOME WHEN YOU PUT HER BERLIN POLICE OFFICER HUSBAND IN A COMA DIDN'T KNOW WHO BARNES WAS! NOT ***ONE*** OF THE 38 CIVILIANS YOU KILLED OR THE 99 YOU INJURED WERE TRYING TO HURT BARNES. NOT ONE OF THEM EVEN KNEW WHO HE WAS! THEY WERE LIVING THEIR LIVES THAT DAY, UNTIL YOU, THE HUMAN WRECKING BALL, DECIDED THEY WEREN'T IMPORTANT AND ENDED OR DESTROYED THEIR LIVES FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A LAZY, ARROGANT, UNTRAINED, HYPOCRITICAL MORON WITH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX THAT MAKES JUSTIN FUCKING HAMMER LOOK LIKE EINSTEIN! AND EVEN NOW, YOU **STILL** DON'T GET THAT!"

Silence filled the room as Tony fell back in his chair, almost panting from the force of his emotions, and raked a shaking hand through his hair. It took nearly three minutes for him to regain control, but once he did, Rhodes swallowed hard and involuntarily straightened into military attention. Stephen Strange took a deep, measured breath and subtly summoned his magic, just in case Rogers was stupid enough to push Tony again.

Everyone on Rogers' team shifted warily, belatedly realizing that holy shit, Tony Stark really was dangerous — and not the man-child that Romonova had tried so hard to convince them he was. He was a man who had been born and raised in not just the business world, but one of the most cutthroat parts of it, along with being exposed to the media since the literal age of four. He was the man who had single-handedly recovered or destroyed not just the illegal caches of SI weapons, but also the terrorist groups who had them. He was the man who had successfully been Iron Man for four years without any outside help with remarkably little avoidable collateral damage.

He was the man who should never have succeeded, because despite the advantages he'd been with and to, so many people had stacked the deck against him and opposed him, hurt him, and tried to destroy him, that a weaker man would have given up and let himself lose. But he was Tony Fucking Stark, so despite everything, he had achieved more than anyone could have dreamed — and not just because he refused to let his detractors win. It was because he could and did adapt to the situations so he could create and implement working solutions.

And then there was Steve Rogers, displaying his complete inability to learn even the most basic of life's Rules for Best Survival by attempting to argue with him.

The Accords Panel liaison, who had been caught just before the door with the UN rep when Barton set things off, heroically threw himself in front of the lava flow raging from Mount Stark and snapped, "Enough, Rogers. Dr. Stark is completely correct, but right now, that's beside the point. We were going to inform you in two days, after the paperwork was filed, but clearly, you can't be trusted to stay here and out of trouble, so this is your official notice that you and your team have accumulated your second strike. Per the conditions you accepted when you signed the pardons, you are now on restricted probation. That means you will be removed to an UN-approved holding facility immediately and placed into remedial basic training so you can learn some discipline and control. And if you refuse," he continued, giving Rogers' entire team an icy look, "then you can go directly to prison."

When outraged shouts filled the room and weapons started to appear, Strange and FRIDAY reacted instantly, and within a minute, Maximoff was out cold, Rogers was groggy and restrained, and the rest were firmly cuffed. Twenty minutes after that, a team of UN troops was unceremoniously hauling them down to transport vehicles, and two days later, Rogers would get his third and final rules violation strike, along with Maximoff and Barton, and all three would finally be tried and convicted for most (though not all; bureaucracy was universal, unfortunately, and some smaller offences were left by the wayside in pursuit of bigger ones) of their crimes. A horrified Wilson just walked away, unable to handle the truth about Rogers that he'd refused to see for more than three years, while Romonva did the impossible and pissed off the newly-rebuilt SHIELD so badly that they turned her in themselves.

To the embarrassment of politicians across the globe, it was seeing people held accountable for their actions and fairly punished when warranted that finally jumpstarted the process of recruiting, training, and building teams of enhanced people. And those same people were also finally forced to admit that despite his media-skewed reputation, Tony Stark did not fuck around when it came to the safety of the world. More importantly, he had actual proof and evidence of the threat coming from the stars, and once he was able to show it to people Romonova couldn't manipulate or the ones who thought Rogers really was a tactical genius, well . . . things got done. So when Thanos arrived, they were prepared. And ultimately, they were victorious.

And it was ultimately because Tony Stark refused to do what Steve Rogers would have done.

~~~
fin