Hey!
I survived the first round of holidays, so I'm posting a story (can't be called a ficlet this time) to celebrate. And because it's been driving me nuts for days, until I finally got it all out of my head.
This is the result of a prompt given to me by the wonderful Greek_Jester:
** I have another bugbear I'd love to see addressed because it always seems to get ignored, but I can't see how it would ever end up as more than a few paragraphs, barely a snippet.
How come we see the Rogues repeatedly violate restraining orders, but no-one ever arrests them, or even slaps them on the wrist! What is the point of even mentioning getting a restraining order if you're not going to use it against them? They're basically the ultimate Chekov's Gun at this point in fandom. **
First, I laughed for about an hour over the 'barely a snippet' thing. I honestly don't think I could write a drabble less than 2000 words for a million dollars (despite my sometimes fervent wish that I could). Second, I had a lot of fun with this prompt, which you'll doubtless be able to see, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
And third: the format is fairly common, but the layout is unusual. Yes, I did it on purpose. No, I don't know why, other than the desire to try something new. So if it doesn't work for you as a reader, let me know.
Again, I want to offer a huge 'thanks' and appreciation to everyone who is reading this series; you're awesome and I love you so much! And with that: on with the story!
Schadenfreude
It is a common cliché to observe that 'it's a small world'. A popular trope explains that 'coincidence is simply the art of planning ahead'. Naturally, we can't ignore the truism that 'what goes around, comes around'.
Of course, none of these are consistently true, and they rarely happen, despite the insistence of those clichés, tropes, and truisms.
But every so often, life is good and they all come together in a glorious explosion known as 'karma', and the resultant party always sets new records for various and sundry shenanigans (oddly, table dancing has yet to be one of them).
"Tony! Tony, don't do this! We just want to talk!" Steve Rogers shouted as he failed to free his wrists from the handcuffs Tony had made for him and gifted a pair of to every police precinct in New York City. Behind him, Sam Wilson miraculously kept his mouth shut and instead glared impotently at Tony, tugging just as futilely at his restraints. For his part, Tony gave a mournful sigh at the loss of his mixed seafood burrito, which he'd intended to give to Peter that night as his introduction into the wonders of seafood. Thanks to Rogers, it was now an expensive smear across the sidewalk.
Bastard.
His method of attack had been unusual, though: Tony's new bodyguards were very good at their jobs, so there was no way Rogers could have just lunged up and gotten that close to Tony, super strength or no. Tony's people were extremely well-trained, disciplined, and experienced, while Rogers was none of those things.
Which meant Wilson had carried him in and dropped him into place when they'd seen Tony start to leave the restaurant.
It was a clever idea, and Tony gave credit where credit was due. Both men were disrespectful jerks, but Wilson had just shown that he did, in fact, have a brain somewhere in his head. It was too bad that he kept it shoved up Rogers' ass instead of using it to think for himself.
Despite the yowling and whining that was going on behind him, Tony had managed to avoid making even a hint of eye contact with either man. Doing so would only have encouraged Rogers to keep trying and despite his glee at having his predictions proved correct, Tony didn't actually want anything to do with this.
So in a move calculated to enrage the spoiled brat and his mindless Yes Man, partly for his own entertainment but mostly in hopes of making one or both of them do something stupid — or, rather, do another stupid thing — which would, in turn, increase the severity of the charges, Tony finished his conversation with the cop and left. Of course, his clean, 'fuck you' exit was almost ruined by the appalled maître d' trying to hand him a replacement for his ruined food, but Tony appreciated the gesture and gave his escort the go-ahead to take it. And then he resumed walking away. To Wilson and Rogers' fury, not once did Tony bother to acknowledge their presence. He never turned his head, not even for a glance, because they were not worth his time or attention.
Still, he couldn't stop the grin that came to his lips when one of his guards informed a still-ranting Rogers and a still-silent Wilson, in a voice that had to have been stolen from the Biology teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "This is your first strike. If you approach Doctor Stark again and ignore the warning, and breach your proscribed legal distance of 100 yards, we will shoot out your kneecap. Should you persist, we will put a bullet in your groin, too."
(he didn't see the raw hatred blazing in her eyes, which wasn't reflected in her voice, and confused the hell out of Wilson and was utterly wasted on Rogers. But even if they had realized the reasons why, it would have made no difference in the end)
Stunned at being told 'no', Rogers' rant trailed off into disbelieving silence, which had Tony snorting softly with laughter as he rounded the building and headed for his car. Just before he opened the door, he heard the arresting officer start reading Rogers and Wilson 1their rights and this time, he couldn't restrain his laugh when the predicted indignant spluttering started.
It was a shame he hadn't been able to watch their expressions live, but his utter indifference was much more effective in making them understand their place — both in the world at large and Tony's life in particular. He had no illusions the lesson would take, of course, but it was still a satisfying start.
Hmm. He really wanted to see their reactions. Should he hack the cameras or watch the various bystander recordings that were being uploaded to YouTube while he debated his options?
Oh, who was he kidding? He'd definitely check out a few of the recordings later, but he really wanted a stable, non-moving, relatively clear video first.
And it wasn't like he hadn't earned the privilege.
"Hey, FRIDAY, can you get a copy of the CCTV footage from that street?" he asked as he settled into his car and nodded permission to drive to his chauffer.
"It's already done, Boss. I went ahead and sent a copy to Lady Boss, Mister Parker, and Colonel Man, too."
Pride swelled up, though it was tinged with sorrow. At times like this, he missed JARVIS so much it hurt. But damn, his baby girl was growing in leaps and bounds, and he was fiercely proud of her.
Also, this new security detail thing was working out very well. Surprisingly so, actually, and he was paranoid enough to worry that it was a trap of some sort, but only until he remembered the circumstances that had created the situation they all found themselves in.
And smiled.
When the UN decided to bring the Rogue Avengers back to the US, the political thought process behind that decision understood that most American citizens reasoned along these lines: since they didn't destroy anything in America, it can't have been that bad. Yes, they damaged stuff over there, but we all know that countries exaggerate things to get more money/political power/favors/whatever. Besides, what possible reason could a small team comprised mostly of Americans have to wreak that kind of destruction in so many foreign countries? Still, the others are unhappy and the team is based in America, so if they just stay here, well, problem solved and everyone is happy.
Was it simplistic? Yes.
Was it an accurate summation? Sadly, yes. People the world over tend to . . . downplay . . . accidents, damages, and tragedies when they aren't directly affected. This is simply human nature.
In the case of the Rogues, they also had the massive advantage of Tony Stark, who picked them up when SHIELD was demolished, and kept the American public from seeing just how destructive the Avengers could be. He didn't do it out of a sense of altruism, mind; he simply understood public relations, morale, and the value of public support. And, of course, he'd believed they were a true team.
Which was all well and good until the bastards collectively went rogue, caused more death, harm, and destruction than anyone could truly fathom, even two years later, and fucked off to Wakanda, smug in the knowledge that Tony would clean up after them again while they got to hide from the consequences of their actions.
It never occurred to any of them, with the possible exception of Romanova, that Tony knew exactly where they were, which meant the UN did as well; they simply decided to leave the rampaging horde in the care of the arrogant king who had decreed 'let them come!'. And so, for nearly a year, all was well: Rogers and Company were detained in comfort, unaware they were actually in a prison; Tony was well on the way to getting Thaddeus Ross executed for treason and crimes against humanity; he and Rhodes launched a brand new, much more effective Avengers Initiative, one that spanned the globe; and the Accords were amended and would be ratified about four minutes after Ross' execution. For fifteen months, despite the waiting game, things were positively blissful in Tony Stark's life.
Well, we can't have that.
A certain political faction in the US needed the boost that reviving the legend of Captain America would give them, one that could only be helped by bringing the man and his compatriots back to the country, and they managed to scrape together enough clout and favors to get it done. The UN was persuaded to agree because some of the reps and/or member countries hated America and clearly saw how stupid an idea this was, and how badly it was going to end; some of them hated the countries who were adamantly against any kind of pardon and agreed just to spite those countries; and a few were trying so hard to be neutral that they truly couldn't see the woods for the trees.
The end result was the pardoning of the Rogue Avengers in the United States, the decision not to press charges in any other country, at least for the time being, and the planning of their triumphal return.
But then they ran into an unexpected roadblock.
(Literally; one of the senators smacked into the glass conference room door, crushing his coffee against his torso, and had to go to the hospital to be treated for burns, and one of his fellow senators tripped over his thrashing body and broke her ankle, while their aides dropped briefcases and envelopes, scattering paper everywhere and creating a domino effect.
A passing observer noted that it looked a great deal like that one scene from Jumangi, complete with screaming people and rabid monkeys (or was it the other way around?). There might or might not have been a montage of photos, posted on YouTube and going viral within a day)
"No."
Tony Stark said nothing else; he simply stared down the moron who had just had the audacity to inform him — they didn't even have the courtesy to ask, which, what the hell?! — that he was being given the responsibility of Rogers and Crew, including housing, food, and weapons.
It was immensely satisfying to watch the woman mentally, physically, and verbally flail for an answer to Tony's blunt refusal, and he wasn't remotely subtle about taking a picture of her flabbergasted expression. The flash from the camera on his glasses hit her right in the eyes, which only made it funnier, and Tony took a few seconds to just bask in the glow of utter enjoyment.
"I don't — what d—I can't — what do you mean, 'no'?" she finally managed to ask, still shocked and utterly unprepared for his answer.
Tony's smile in response was more than a little feral.
So was his answer.
"I mean 'no'," he stated, his eyes burning with hatred-fueled fire. "Nyet, nein, nay, non, não, nej, nee, nie. Not only do I refuse to have anything to do with those backstabbing, treasonous, treacherous freeloaders, I also legally can't," he told her coldly, watching in dark amusement as the entire room went unnaturally quiet on hearing that. A faint smirk curled his mouth as he continued. "Three days ago, I was granted Orders of Protection from Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, James Barnes, Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanova, Nicholas Fury, Phil Coulson, and the alien known as Thor. Those Orders include any and all past, present, and future aliases, and they do not allow any of the aforementioned individuals to physically be within 100 yards of my person. The protection orders granted to me by the state of New York decree that the group is to be treated as one entity, rather than ten individuals, though they are all separately listed. This is, of course, based on the evidence requested and provided in order for said Orders of Protection to be approved and granted. However, I understand that this council is highly supportive of 'fairness' and 'giving second chances', so I did make allowances for their inability and refusal to respect me, my person, and my wishes."
He paused there and let his censorious gaze skewer each member of the UN panel who had either insisted on this idiocy or capitulated, noting with satisfaction that his internal bets about which person was truly in support of this asinine idea and who was there under duress were mostly correct. Getting confirmation of who was a member of what bloc would help him solidify his own power and position, which was definitely going to be a good thing going forward. Was it worth the headache of bringing the Rogues back? No, but then, in Tony's educated opinion, the literal end of the world wouldn't justify that.
However, his opinion hadn't been sought, so here they were: the UN flailing in shock at being told 'no' because Tony Stark was The Futurist and always planned ahead.
"Allowances?"
This hesitant question came from the Spanish rep — and current Council president — and Tony turned to him, nodding as he answered.
"Yes. None of them will believe that I willingly took out a restraining order against them, because this was 'all just a huge misunderstanding, and if we can just talk things out, everything will go back like it was'," he sneered, hearing Rogers' voice in his head so clearly, he was afraid for a minute the bastard had managed to break into the room. A quick inhalation confirmed the presence of the housing unit on his chest, meaning he was protected should that event occur, and that allowed him to continue making his not-remotely-subtle-point. "So the first violation will result in them being formally arrested and taken to the local precinct, where they will be booked and charged before this council intervenes with the declaration that it was just a well-meaning mistake."
Unhappy objections began to rain down on him, which Tony ignored with the ease of long practice, his focus never wavering from the man he was speaking directly to.
"This will probably happen within the next two weeks, but it won't take longer than a month," he added, lips curving the tiniest bit at the man's obvious surprise. "And I won't have a damn thing to do with it."
For the record? He was going to absolutely wallow in being proved right.
It took just over seven weeks for the second violation to occur — but this one wasn't nearly as well-thought-out, and was therefore a lot sloppier. It was also really, really stupid.
Then again, it was Barton and Maximoff . . .
Predictably, the arrest of Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson for attempting to accost Tony Stark against his express wishes and backed by a legal restraining order had made headlines, with the multiple bystander recordings going viral. Also predictably, though equally frustrating, was the majority opinion that Tony was the bad guy. He did acknowledge that this attitude was his own fault, as he had refused to release any videos or evidence of the Rogues' crimes that weren't already available — which meant that while the US was aware of most of what they'd done in Europe, they really didn't have a clue about just who and what Rogers and his team were at home. The American people had no idea about the gaslighting, the backstabbing, the lying, the cheating, the stealing, and the betrayals.
That would change after the UN finished trying to bury the first attempt of the Rogues to violate their restraining orders.
The multiple attempts to murder, or at least kill, Tony Stark, were being kept in a locked, sealed, underground vault until the very end. Nobody wanted there to be so much as a sliver of doubt by the time Rogers made it necessary to release that information (and he would; he was just too egotistical and stubborn to stop).
And despite Romanova's arrogant 'interview' after that fucking data dump, most of the public didn't understand that she and Rogers had committed treason, with Wilson willfully complicit. They also didn't know that the helicarriers-falling-on-the-Potomac was the deliberate choice of Rogers and Wilson, with Tony intentionally left out of both decisions for reasons unrelated to James 'The Winter Soldier' Barnes.
Pepper and Rhodey had, understandably, raged at Tony for his refusal to release any of this information once the UN announced they had no intention of bringing charges against the Rogues.
Peter, however, had started grinning with such malicious glee that even Happy had been unnerved, and when Tony gave him an approving nod, he had explained his mentor's reasoning with satisfaction so vicious that Pepper made a mental note to have him do a six-week rotation in PR.
"He's going to prove two points so well that no one will be able to refute them," he said, leaning into Tony's side when the man wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in for a side-hug, beaming proudly at seeing just how far his young protégé had come in the last eighteen or so months, and not just as Spiderman. His education in general business, Stark Industries business, and the politics that came with SI, had been intense and thorough, but Peter was a fast learner. He was also highly and personally motivated to become proficient in this aspect of the business he would one day inherit.
"Refute what?" Rhodes cried, throwing his hands up in sheer exasperation, and was clearly blindsided by Peter's calm reply.
"Refute the unavoidable realization that this group of dickwads deserves it. Look, the UN proved early on that despite the numerous and serious crimes these people have committed overseas, they don't really consider the Rogues a threat since Germany is the only country who was truly harmed that has any serious political power. Unfortunately, they're also the country with the least amount of damage. Tony evacuated the airport so there wasn't any loss of life or even any injuries outside of us, so while they're upset about the airport, it isn't as important in the grand scheme of things as keeping China happy right now. Sokovia and Romania and Nigeria are minor players on the political field, so their outrage has been noted and dismissed, and they don't have enough allies or support to demand justice, especially since only half the Rogues are American., which means pushing the issue will cause problems too many countries don't want to mess with."
Pepper sighed heavily and massaged her forehead, understanding filling her eyes. "Of course. And right now, political power and position are currently more important — to the UN," she stated, getting a nod from her fiancé and their semi-adopted son.
"Yes," Peter agreed. "The Accords were supposed to get that under control, but they can't be effectively used until Ross is finally out of the picture, and Tony's working on that, but investigation and prosecution takes time."
Tony interjected here, since he was the driving force behind getting rid of Thaddeus Ross. "And since Ellis is desperate to avoid embarrassment, he's refusing to actually comment on anything, and despite how many people hate Ross, he's owed favors or has blackmail on a horrifying number of them," he said succinctly. "So while Ross IS going down, it's going to take time. And until he and all of his influence are gone, the Accords are on the sidelines. They're ready to implement, with most of the changes and amendments we've wanted from the beginning, but Ross has enough power and enough sway, illegal though most of it is, to prevent them from being ratified. But legalizing the version he wants would be a nightmare on literally every level, meaning . . . we're at a stalemate. That being said, according to Legal, it shouldn't take more than about two months to finally get rid of Ross. Less, if he sees and accepts the writing on the wall and just pulls the trigger himself. But Betty has been onboard from the beginning, which he doesn't realize, and I've been quietly gathering dirt and info on him starting about a week after New York."
He paused for a minute to let his team absorb the information before continuing.
"So that you can understand better just what Ross is, how bad he is, I haven't found a single person who likes him, admires him, or even supports him. He's got a lot of support for some of his goals, sure, but not a single person will go to bat for him when it matters. And yet, he still has enough dirt and favors owed him that he has, thus far, been able to impose his will on something as big and international as the Accords. Which is why, when he finally goes down, it will ultimately be for treason. Everything else will be used to justify the death sentence and catch as many of his dirty allies as possible."
He paused again, lips twisting in annoyance, before adding, "The most aggravating part of it is that if Rogers had just listened to me and Rhodey to begin with, we could have already had this done. The moron didn't have a clue how to use his own power and influence, but I did. And he had it. Hell, he still has it. And that's why I'm not releasing anything yet."
Pepper sucked in a breath to argue, but Peter beat her to the punch.
"Since the UN refuses to file charges or even levy any kind of punishment, and the Accords panel can't, there is no reason for Tony to be proactive right now. It won't change anything at the UN, and probably won't do much to alter public opinion in the States, either. People are fickle and believe what the media says, and since the media loves to hate Tony Stark, well . . . plus, they'll die before criticizing Romanova and Maximoff, because Woman Power, and Wilson is black, so he gets a pass too."
Silence fell again as everyone absorbed that, finally broken by Happy.
"So . . . what? We just let them harass Tony?" he demanded, eyes blazing with anger.
Tony and Peter both scoffed at that.
"Hell, no," Tony answered. "We're getting restraining orders, both for me personally and on behalf of SI. Warner in Legal has the business side handled, with all the proof of Romanova's corporate espionage not just from 2010, but also when Fury stole and then altered my helicarrier designs with lethal, fatal results. And Paul Gibson says that a personal Order of Protection against all of them won't be a problem, because the judge will see some of what they've done and he's already confirmed it will be a private hearing, with them in absentia, backed by an NDA. That's important because when we start releasing the videos and proof of all of their crimes on American soil, showing just how little those bastards actually care about the people they profess to want to help, there will be legal precedent. It will be a lot harder for people to cry 'altered' or 'faked' when a NYC judge who hates my guts determined the veracity of the evidence, along with the necessity of granting me protection from them."
(Fury and Romanova would make one try at breaching SI, but neither Pepper nor Friday were subtle. The second their bio-signatures registered with the system, a truly obnoxious alarm went off, alerting not just the Tower but also the entire city block that an infiltration attempt was in progress, and a confetti cannon, loaded both with confetti and a specially-designed stink bomb (courtesy of Peter Parker) went off in the area they were trying to breach. Pepper didn't bother asking the police to arrest them for the violation of the restraining order because watching them haul ass down the street, covered in glitter of every possible color and gagging on their own breaths, forced to abandon their car because several members of SI's new contingent of former SHIELD agents were gleefully chasing them with the intent to harass and create paranoia, not harm, was the best payoff anyone could ask for — and it was made so much better by the public's reaction when that recording was released in conjunction with the others involving Fury and Romanova hurting, lying to, and manipulating Tony.
Pepper Potts was a lot vindictive when it came to the people she loved being wronged and hurt)
He stopped to breathe and Peter jumped back in.
"And after Rogers ignores the restraining order and his arrest is both public and official, then we'll start releasing tapes, showing people the truth about how those assholes" — "Language, Pete" — "were treating Tony, while they freeloaded off him, lied to him, stole from him, and used him," Peter seethed, gaze hot with a dark, contemptuous fury. "It won't cause an immediate change in opinion, because people suck and don't like being proven wrong, but that's why we'll start with the small stuff. And when they try again, deliberately ignoring the warning not to stop and violating the legal distance restriction, then some of the heavier stuff will get put out."
Rhodes grinned, his countenance just as viciously satisfied as Tony and Peter's now. "So nobody will be able to cry 'foul!' when the third strike happens and you finally take the big legal step and get charges levied," he concluded, turning his grin to Pepper when she moved to Tony's other side, giving him a feral smile that made Peter gulp and step away, turning his gaze to Happy so he didn't see the filthy, not-safe-for-young-audiences kiss Pepper laid on his mentor. Rhodes and Happy both laughed outright at him — but they didn't look, either.
Once Peter's sex ed had gotten a boost (seriously not needed, Tony, thanks for traumatizing me!), the topic turned to other things.
But the plan had been made, and all they had to do now was wait.
So it came to pass that Barton, enraged over his ex-wife's refusal to acknowledge his presence, on top of her accepting a job at one of SI's overseas branches, took the three seconds necessary to convince Maximoff to join him and decided to ambush Tony at an SI release party.
Thanks to her lack of inhibition in using her powers, Maximoff got them past the front guards, but the duo was immediately forced into a position where all they could do was watch, seething, as Tony gave an impassioned speech about the future and another new direction for SI with the release of their first round of prosthetics, and Maximoff lost what little control she had left when the man got a standing ovation that went on for more than five minutes.
She let out a tiny scream of outrage that nonetheless drew attention and pushed her way through the throng, so intent on getting to Tony and shoving her magic down his throat in person that she forgot she could throw it long-distance. Barton was on her heels, startled but more than willing to go along with it, when he suddenly tilted his head, trying to figure out what he'd vaguely heard over the general noise of the crowd.
But he didn't stop moving forward.
A bullet shattered his kneecap and he went down, groaning in agony as he tried to quell the pain. Hot liquid poured over his hands as he frantically attempted to hold his knee together, but behind the pain, he heard Wanda shriek in utter fury and felt the massive swell of magic as she threw everything her hate could gather at Tony—
—and hit the floor with an earth-shattering thud that made Barton's teeth rattle. Blood was streaming from her mouth, nose, and eyes, and she was moaning incoherently, her hands twitching uncontrollably and leaking red threads of magic until a dark orange cord suddenly wrapped around them, followed immediately by a matching collar. She screamed once in fear and denial before going limp, conscious but docile, while Barton felt his vision go white with rage. He managed to struggle to a sitting position and his gaze locked on an expressionless Stark, who was still on the stage, though he was now protected by several bodyguards.
But Barton wasn't called Hawkeye because he liked M.A.S.H. He never missed a shot, not even half-dead and with one hand, so without so much as a flicker of intent, he snapped his wrist and flung a knife straight at Tony's throat.
And went down screaming when a bullet destroyed his wrist, leaving him a bloody, pathetic mess of pain on the ground, while a second shot sent the knife flying off into a hastily-conjured shield. Stephen Strange gave the shooter a sardonic look and said, "I had him covered, you know."
A derisive scoff was her response, followed by, "Like hell. Barton's bragged for a decade about he's the best that ever was, and everyone else is a distant fifth, except that bitch Romanova, and she's still fourth, because he's first, second, and third — yes, he's made that exact claim more than once — and I was not about to miss a chance to prove to his arrogant ass that other people are better. Besides," she added at his eyeroll, "you got the witch."
Meanwhile, Tony had been surrounded on the stage by a phalanx of guards, all of them armed and furious. Stephen Strange, who was now flanked by Pepper and Happy, looked grimly satisfied that his magical protective measures had worked, while Pepper was so enraged, she was dangerously close to breathing fire and only FRIDAY's desperate reminder that Boss had a plan kept her from ordering Tony's guard to kill both assailants.
Well, that and Peter putting a tiny piece of webbing over her mouth before he made his way to Tony's side, providing additional protection that wasn't needed by then, but was still very welcome by everyone but Tony. Still, he understood the reasoning and, honestly, seeing the horror and raw disbelief in both Barton and Maximoff's eyes at how well-shielded he was, and by people that Barton, at least, clearly recognized, was highly satisfying.
Then the police arrived, escorted by still more of Tony's new bodyguards, and the lead detective arrested the pair of them not just for assault, attempted assault, and illegally bringing weapons to a venue, but also the second violation of the Order of Protection, using a voice and words that weren't loud at all but were very clear, concise, and carried through the vast ballroom, leaving absolutely no one in doubt as to what happened and why, and . . . well . . . naturally, those videos went viral too.
More importantly, people were beginning to ask questions.
Such as, why did Tony Stark have restraining orders against so many members of his former team? The video of Romanova and Fury bragging about holding a potential cure over his head at that donut shop suddenly didn't seem so contrived, and neither did the one showing Maximoff declaring that Tony owed her whatever she wanted because he 'killed her parents'. His sharp rebuttal to that, complete with evidence proving that no, it wasn't an SI bomb that hit her house, was ignored by Rogers, who instead scolded Tony for 'picking on poor Wanda, haven't you caused her enough grief' — and more and more people began to find that sinister. The three short videos of Barton painted him in a bad light as well: sneering at Tony about buying friends because he was too much of an ass to make them on his own; conspiring with Romanova to funnel cash from the credit cards given to them by Tony into hidden accounts; and repeatedly getting Rogers worked up about Tony's refusal to be the Avengers full-time tech boy and mechanic. He and Romanova went to a great deal of effort to convince Rogers that Tony didn't actually do anything for SI, it was all Pepper and her hard-working employees, Tony just stole the credit from them when he needed to get attention off another scandal.
The fact that it took very little effort to convince Rogers of this was also noticed, though that one admittedly took longer to sink in.
But the Rogues' reputation was finally starting to take some damage, and Pepper cackled in pure malicious satisfaction as she released the next wave of videos, along with the actual paperwork showing their financial malfeasance.
In the meantime, the UN did exactly what Tony had predicted so many weeks earlier. The cracks in the façade of a happy-go-lucky team deepened. The members of the public, both at home and abroad, were finally starting to see the dark underbelly.
Tony watched it all.
And smiled.
"The second time they breach the 100-yard perimeter, they'll get a warning shot that will require medical attention, and once again they'll be formally arrested and charged. This council will intervene again, but the panel will be split due to both embarrassment and an impressive refusal to admit that maybe this was a bad idea, so it will take longer to get them off the hook and the official record of this arrest will not be expunged."
The discontented rumblings got louder, but Tony never even blinked.
They wanted to screw over not just him, but everybody that the destructive team of Rogers and Company had hurt, killed, or ruined their lives? Fine. That was their choice.
But if they thought for one second that he, Tony Fucking Stark, would just LET them do it with no repercussions?
Well. Before this massively horrible idea, he honestly hadn't thought the UN was this dumb, but hey! You learned something new every day.
The UN was about to learn that actions have consequences.
And so were the Rogue Avengers.
"Tony! Stop being a child and talk to me!"
Showing for the too-high-to-count number of times that he neither possessed nor understood subtlety, Steve Rogers screamed this in the middle of Central Park, getting the attention of at least three hundred people, and cell phones were out and recording before the echo died. As ever, Rogers was oblivious to technology he didn't like, approve of, or know how to use beyond the basics, so he didn't realize his actions were currently being livestreamed on several platforms. Romanova did, but didn't think anything about it . . . until Rogers pushed through a small knot of people and started running after Tony, who hadn't even turned his head as he walked away, very obviously putting himself between Rogers and Romanova and the teenager who was with him.
She gamely followed him, knowing he wasn't going to accomplish anything but annoying Tony, but that was okay. An annoyed Tony Stark was much easier to guilt-trip and manipulate than a calm one. She was three paces behind Steve when she saw two guns suddenly get trained on his head as a voice simultaneously shouted at them both to stop or they would be killed, while the crowd of people in their immediate vicinity was herded several yards back and formed into blocks. Holding true to character, Rogers either ignored the warning or refused to hear it, and kept running,
The Black Widow kept up with him, though she was confused and thinking hard. She knew one of the guards and recognized the other, but the equation didn't make sense. Why on earth were two SHIELD agents working for Stark and threatening Steve?
The warning to stop wasn't repeated and Romanova suddenly understood, with shocked clarity, what was really about to happen, and instantly changed her pace and body language. To any observer, she now appeared to be trying to catch her team leader and stop him, when the reality was that this was a desperate attempt to save her own life. Steve wouldn't stop for anything and they all knew it — and he was going to die. But if Tony thought she'd been trying to respect his wishes and keep them both away from him, he would probably show her some leniency.
He always trusted too easily.
Two gunshots, fired so close together they almost sounded like one, shattered the noise of the park and instincts honed by thirty years of training and experience made Romanova drop down to a crouch and angle her steps to the right. A split second later, her shoulder was screaming in agony and Romanova gasped, collapsing to her knees and clamping a hand over her shattered shoulder joint. It hurt so much, she couldn't see past the unexpected tears, but through the roaring in her ears, she managed to pick up the sound of approaching footsteps and instinctively went for the gun holstered at her ankle. A sharp, searing pain halted that attempt, though it took the woman several seconds to realize that someone had just thrown a knife at her hand and severed two fingers.
The pain of her injuries combined with the shock at being defeated so easily to make the snap into painful clarity. Now frantic at the realization she was unarmed, seriously injured, and outgunned, Romanova tried to scramble back, blindly seeking protection from Steve because she could no longer protect herself. No one stopped her, but encroaching unconsciousness meant the oddity of that escaped her . . . only to be temporarily jarred awake when a hard object stopped her attempt at getting help or just getting away. A broken cry of pain escaped her lips when she twisted to see what it was, followed by a second horrified scream when she realized that Steve Rogers was sprawled on the grass, eyes blank, with a small hole almost dead center in his forehead.
The feeling of someone grabbing her left wrist and yanking it behind her back pulled her attention back to the people who just successfully taken down the Black Widow and killed Captain America . . . and she stared, the effects of pain and blood loss once again held at bay by her utter disbelief at seeing her former colleagues looking at her with so much contempt and hatred that it actually hurt.
Behind her, and with what she would have realized was a remarkably fast response time, had she been that coherent, a police officer cuffed her good hand as he formally arrested her for violating the Order of Restraint that Tony Stark had taken out against her.
Romanova tuned him out, instead staring at three agents she had worked closely and well with while they were at SHIELD, three agents who had just killed Steve Rogers and done a hell of a lot of damage to her.
"Why?" she whispered, feeling herself starting to slip into the black abyss waiting so patiently for her. The answer that followed her would haunt her nightmares.
"You get three guesses. None of them count."
"Their final attempt . . . well, to be honest, I have given my security detail carte blanche to make that decision. But know that I will fully support any and all actions they take to ensure my protection as well as the safety of any civilians who are nearby and could be caught in the crossfire. After all, we have ample evidence of what Rogers and his crew are willing to do in order to get their way. You've just chosen to ignore that to everyone's peril. However, I refuse to put myself, my family, or my employees in a position where their lives can be threatened or endangered by a group of people who have no morals and no control. When they come after me, there WILL be consequences."
"Please be seated, Doctor Cho," Alejandro Matias said after her oath was sworn, gesturing for the woman to sit down in the chair behind her.
He got a frosty glare in response, but she sat down gracefully, crossed her leg at the ankle, rested her hands in her lap, and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
When the silence finally became both embarrassing and unbearable, Matias, cleared his throat and rather nervously said, "We've called you here to explain your refusal to provide necessary medical assistance to one Natasha Romanova, a member of the Avengers, a team tied to this assembly."
He said nothing else and swallowed hard when Helen merely stared at him, her eyes full of disdain. After thirty seconds of uncomfortable silence, she scoffed before finally deigning to reply.
"Who informed you that I refused to provide Ms. Romanova treatment, Mr. Matias?" she asked, her voice silky smooth and making every man in the room cross his legs out of raw instinct. Matias, however, squirmed; since this wasn't an official UN hearing, it had been determined that an actual lawyer wasn't needed. And since not a single doctor on their staff was willing to take on the role of 'Interrogator', they were forced to settle for someone who hadn't passed any kind of Bar but still possessed basic legal knowledge — and he didn't want to do it either. But it had to be done for form's sake, so there they all were. Helen Cho was, of course, well-aware of this dilemma, though it wouldn't have mattered either way. "I spent nearly three hours treating her completely avoidable injuries and she will recover, though with several new limitations."
"And that is exactly why we're here," Matias said quietly, taking a step closer to her. "It is well-known that you have access to the technology known as the Cradle, which could have healed Agent Romanova's injuries to almost nothing, leaving her with near-total mobility in her shoulder and reversing the damage to the tendons in her other hand and thus, allowing her to continue to function as an active member of the team. So why did you refuse to provide this technology?"
"Ms. Romanova."
Matias blinked.
"I'm — I'm sorry?" he said, confusion lacing his voice, and Helen's lips curved in a tiny sneer.
"She isn't an agent of anything, Mr. Matias. Her correct address is 'Ms. Romanova'. But to answer your . . . question . . . I didn't offer my personal, still-experimental medical technology because I didn't want to."
Silence.
Broken by a fart, accompanied by the Argentinian representative turning fire-engine red with embarrassment.
Thankfully for the room, Helen was well-used to Peter Parker and James Rhodes, so fart jokes (and the accompanying smell) were things she was easily able to ignore.
"She wasn't injured during a mission, or by saving lives as part of an unexpected disaster. Her injuries were obtained in the process of violating a clear and immutable restraining order for the third time. I performed my duties as a doctor and treated her to the best of my considerable abilities, which is why, should she put in the effort at physical therapy, she will have almost 30% mobility in her shoulder. But I am under no obligation to provide additional, highly expensive treatment to anyone, simply because it is there. I developed the Cradle, I hold the patent for it, and I am still considering the merits of submitting it for formal, official testing and inclusion in the medical field."
Matias gaped like a fish for several seconds, a move echoed by several of his colleagues, and Helen looked dispassionately at him as he floundered for something to say.
"I . . . you . . . I'm sorry, I'm confused," he finally said, coming directly to the witness stand and resting both hands on the partition. "Ag—Ms. Romanova was a member of the Avengers, a team you worked with for several years, and yet you never even considered offering her the additional treatment?"
Helen drew a deep breath through her nose and then nodded once, sharply, before giving the man a grim smile.
"Not once," she agreed. "No one ever considers the side performers of a superhero team, you see. Yes, you are aware that I am one of their primary physicians, but none of you have stopped to think about what that really means. I've seen the members of that 'team'" — so much sarcasm dripped off the word that Matias almost slipped in it — "and I saw firsthand who they really are. I also saw the video of Romanova and Rogers' attempted assault on Doctor Stark, so I know precisely what happened. She was following Rogers' lead, because she knew that if he was able to actually interact with Doctor Stark, he would only succeed in annoying him, and she was scheming to take advantage of that. The reason I know this—" she had to raise her voice to be heard over the sudden cacophony of protests, but Helen Cho wasn't just a veteran doctor to the Avengers team. She'd also run one of the most successful ERs in South Korea, helped raise her brother's orphaned twins, and stood on the cusp of changing the face of medical treatment.
She knew perfectly well how take to control of a room, and did. A single clap of her hands, timed perfectly, silenced the crowd and pulled everyone's attention back to her. She gave them another grim smile.
"The reason I know this," she repeated firmly, "is because I watched her do the exact same so many times, it was impossible to keep count. When her stride hitched? That was her realizing that Rogers was about to be taken out and she needed Doctor Stark to believe that she was trying to stop him and respect the restraining order, and thus save her own life. It was in her eyes and body language, and I've become fluent in both over the years. The number of times I've witnessed her behavior and poor treatment of not just Doctor Stark, but of anyone she felt was inferior to her — which, to be blunt, appears to be everyone. And the rest of the group, aside from Doctor Stark and Colonel Rhodes, isn't any better. Despite outward appearances, they are all arrogant, entitled, rude, hateful, condescending, and just generally unpleasant people. So no, Mr. Matias, I saw no need to offer a highly-experimental treatment to heal a woman who would have exactly zero compunction about committing the exact same crime should she decide it suited her. Natasha Romanova has proven that she cares about nothing and nobody but herself and what's best for her, and she learns nothing. She genuinely believes that she is the best that ever was and so she deserves whatever she wants."
She stopped there and swept the room with an icy, contemptuous look, satisfied when not a single person could hold her gaze. Once she'd made her point, she returned her attention to Matias and decided to end this farce, for everyone's sake.
"As a doctor, I have sworn an oath to do no harm. And I didn't," she told the UN council, though her eyes never left the unfortunate man in front of her, who was wide-eyed and humbled at what he had just learned. "I treated Natasha Romanova very well, with all the equipment and medicine at the disposal of every licensed physician. But I am in no way, shape, form, or fashion required to provide free treatment past that, especially for a criminal who was injured while willfully committing a crime — and in her specific case, it was her second direct offense. I understand that you might not like this answer, but that's not my concern. Neither myself nor my staff was in any way negligent in our treatment, and the same is true for Mr. Barton. You see, in the real world," she stated, leaning forward and finally letting loose her fury at being forced to participate in this absurd 'hearing'. "Actions have consequences. It is no one's fault but their own that those consequences were both severe and permanent."
With that, she rose regally from the chair and stepped down to the floor. Matias looked both flabbergasted and also insanely relieved, which she understood, and he made no effort to stop her or even object to her steady, calm exit from the room.
After all . . . what could anyone really say?
"And when whichever of them finally pushes too far and you can't hide it or ignore it or explain it away as 'well-meaning', you still won't admit that maybe this was a spectacularly bad idea and will waste a day or two hounding someone who has no real connection to the situation in a vain effort to absolve yourselves of blame. And when that also fails, we'll be right back where we started, doing what should have happened from the beginning. But hey: everyone deserves a second chance. Only this time, it's going to be on your heads."
That bald, unapologetic, brutally true statement silenced the room, but Tony still never so much as shifted his weight as he watched the Council President absorb his words and their not-remotely-hidden meaning. Tony was done covering for those bastards, and he was also done with hiding his abilities. He was Tony Fucking Stark, dammit, and if he had to remind them of that by dropping an anvil on their heads, then so be it. But he refused to be in the same vicinity as that group of assholes, and despite what they clearly thought, the UN did not have that kind of power.
So Steve Rogers and his team of sycophantic enablers could just stay a football field away from him and when he — they — refused because they knew better than everyone else on the entire fucking planet, Tony could legally and morally enjoy watching the results.
And on that note . . .
"Well, I have places to be. Ladies, gentlemen, member of the Council. I bid you good day."
With that, Tony turned and sauntered out of the room, internally grinning like a madman at the stunned silence he left behind him. Edwin Jarvis had been British and had taught him their glorious tradition of telling a group of people 'fuck you' without anyone realizing what had happened for a good twenty minutes. It wasn't a trick he often used, but when he did, it was epic.
"FRIDAY? Start the first stage of Operation: Choked Thunder," he ordered quietly as he exited the chamber, seeing his new personal guard falling into place around him and not minding the necessity for the first time in his life. Unlike the guards he'd had as a child, before Howard deemed him old enough to protect himself (at the ripe old age of eight), who had been resentful at their assignment, these men regarded his protection almost as a sacred duty. They listened to his concerns and observations and between them, they developed a system that let them stay close and, therefore, be effective, without standing on top of him, which he appreciated beyond words.
Plus, Pepper was ecstatic, Rhodes was thrilled, and Happy was actually happy at this new development, which just made things easier for everyone.
Phase 1 was now officially in effect.
If nothing else, it should be entertaining.
And it was.
~~~
fin