Thank you guys for all the comments. They definitely keep me motivated :)
Carly walks into the dim penthouse and stops in her tracks. The apartment is filled with lit candles and a florist shop worth of flowers of all different varieties. Her eyes shift around the apartment searching for Jason. She finds him standing in the doorway from the kitchen leaning against the wall, watching her with intense eyes. She gets lost in his gaze, trying to understand the emotions she sees flitting across his face. She recognizes desire and some anxiety. The anxiety gives her pause. He always seems so self assured, never faltering like she constantly does.
In the past week, Jason has been amazing. She has never felt more cared for. The way he seems to be able to read her emotions and anticipate her needs makes her feel almost cherished, something she's rarely felt, and never with a guy. But, the concern and protection he offers is something she's a little scared to get used to. When… if, her heart whispers… she loses him, it will destroy her.
Though, she is doing a rotten job of protecting her heart. Every night, they end up wrapped in each other's arms, chasing heaven. When he makes love to her, she's helpless to do anything but give him everything. The second he touches her it's like her body and heart have no choice but to surrender to the passion he creates in her. And everyday she falls a little more in love with him.
His bed had been delivered a couple of days after it was ordered, and Carly had been concerned that their passionate encounters would come to an end. But that night after getting ready for bed, Jason had shown up at her room, leaning against the door jam. With a husky voice, he asked, "Are we sleeping in my bed tonight? Or would you prefer to sleep in here?"
With a relieved smile, she answered, "Yours is fine. I want to try out your new bed." At which point Jason had closed the distance, kissing the daylights out of her. Picking her up, he carried her into his room. They had broken in the bed multiple times that night.
And it's like that every night she's with him, him turning to her again and again. At times, she feels the same desperation in his embrace that she feels for him, his hands leaving bruises in her skin with how tightly he holds her to him, his eyes almost crazed in their need. Long gone are the days of feeling sexually frustrated, of going to bed alone and wanting. She has slept with him in his bed every night since, and has pretty much moved into his room, only using hers for storage.
Despite this, the scene in front of her is unexpected. It's romantic in a way she has never seen from Jason before. Looking at him in confusion, she asks, "Jase, what is this?"
Jason walks to stand in front of her. Cupping her cheek and neck, he tells her, "This is me doing something to show you how special you are to me."
Then, he leans forward, kissing her softly, purposefully keeping it light. Kissing her helps settle him. He's not used to feeling anxiety, going through life with a surety that keeps fear and regret at a distance. However, this is important enough that he's felt nerves buzzing under his skin all day. He also knows that, though he's fairly sure she cares about him at least and maybe even loves him, this isn't going to be easy. When she's not in his arms, he sees the doubts and insecurities when she looks at him. She is scared to let herself believe what is between them, scared to trust that what everyone else sees is true.
Having her in his arms, reassures him that he's doing the right thing, that he can figure this out with her. No one understands him and sees him like she does. He has to believe that once he tells her how he feels, it will help her believe. Though, he will prove his love to her everyday if that's what it takes.
Taking her hand, he leads her to the dining table, pulling out a chair for her, "I made some dinner. It's the chicken alfredo you love. So, have a seat, and I'll be right back."
When he goes into the kitchen, her fingers lightly stroke the flowers, bringing them to her nose to smell. Smiling softly, she puts her hand over her belly, whispering to the baby, "Your father is up to something. But look what he did for us."
Jason brings out plates, and hearing her remark to their child, corrects her, "As much as I love our baby, I did all this for you."
She looks up at him, her eyes vulnerable, a touched smile on her face, "Why? I mean I appreciate it, but you didn't have to…"
"No, I did." There's an urgency to his voice, his eyes suddenly intently focused on her face. "I needed to show you how much you mean to me. I…" he sighs, sitting down in the chair beside her. "I'm not good at this."
"Jase, you can tell me anything." She tells him earnestly. Her hand unconsciously reaches towards him.
He takes her hands in his, "Carly, I… I love you."
She gives him a sweet smile, "I love you too. You're my best friend."
He shakes his head, "No. That's not…" He stands up and reaches for her, leaning down, cupping her face, resting his forehead against hers. She lets out a gasp as he says, "I'm in love with you, Carly. Yes, you are my best friend, but you are so much more to me than a friend. You are the person I think about all the time. I'll be in the middle of giving orders, and suddenly I've lost focus because I'm thinking about you. I want you so much it drives me crazy. But it's not just sex that I want, I want to build a real life with you. I want you to be mine because I am already yours. I…" he gives his head an almost imperceptible shake, "…because of the accident, I don't really have a memory of what a home is supposed to be. I just had places I slept, but it didn't really matter where I did it. One place was as good as another. But now, because of you I understand what home feels like. It's coming back to the person who means everything to me, the woman I love completely, who trusts me to be a father." He gives her a soft, romantic kiss, tasting the tears flowing down her cheeks. "You are everything to me, Carly, and I love you."
"Jason…" she presses forward deepening the kiss. He wraps her in his arms, getting lost in their connection. It's a kiss unlike any he's had before. Though the mechanics are the same, there's a vulnerability and reverence. It's almost painful the way his heart feels, though it's the sweetest pain. It's a joy that fills him up to the point of bursting.
Pulling back, Carly's fingers lovingly trace his face, looking at him like he can't possibly be real. It's not possible that she's this lucky, that the man she loves with an intensity that is like a physical ache in her heart loves her back. It's clearly written on his face, and besides, Jason doesn't lie. She knows he is speaking his truth. It feels like a lifetime worth of birthday and Christmas gifts all being given to her at once.
The words spill out of her, filled with awe and happiness, "I love you so much. I have been in love with you since pretty much the first night we spent together. It scared me at first, how quickly and completely I fell for you. But, I swear, it's like my heart recognized you from the beginning."
"I'm sorry that I didn't recognize it sooner. Sorry I was slow to catch up." He tells her, nuzzling into her skin.
"The blackmail didn't help my case," she gives him a watery self-deprecating smile.
"No," he softly admits, stroking her skin in soft brushes that raise goosebumps all over her body. "But even then, even when you drove me crazy and pissed me off, it was because you mattered to me. And now… you are the most important person in my life. I don't want a life without you in it."
Carly wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a deep passionate kiss. When she pulls back to catch her breath, she tells him, "I don't want a life without you in it either. I can't believe the best man on the planet loves me. Tell me again."
"I love you, Carly. I'm in love with you. I'm yours." He presses soft romantic kisses onto her lips between words.
She has a bright, joyful smile on her face despite the tears falling down her cheeks. She confesses in a watery voice, "I love you too. I love you so much! And, Jase, I'm yours too."
Jason pulls back, looking at her intensely for a moment, then he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small blue velvet jewelry box, "I was going to wait for later, but…" Jason kneels down on one knee, "Carly, will you marry…"
She puts her hand on his, stopping him from opening the box, and gets down on her knees with him, looking hesitant, "Jase… I don't want to get married just because I'm pregnant. I…"
"It's not. I love you. I want to marry you." He promises her earnestly.
She shakes her head sadly, "But the only reason you want to get married now is because I'm pregnant. If I wasn't pregnant, even if we were in love, we'd date and maybe be a couple before you would ever think about marriage. Especially you, Jase. This stuff doesn't really matter to you. Or it never has before."
"It never has before, you're right. But it does now because of you. And I don't know how I would feel if you weren't pregnant. What I do know is that I want to marry you so much it hurts. The thought of being your husband, of you being my wife, it makes me happier than anything else ever has. You made me want something I never even knew I wanted. And, now I want it more than I've ever wanted any other thing. If it's too fast for you, I will try to be patient. But wanting to marry you isn't going to change."
Jason uses his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks, though they are replaced as quickly as they're wiped away. He sees the struggle going on behind her eyes, an uncertainty that breaks his heart for her. Because in this moment, he knows that the battle has little to do with him, and more to do with how she views herself, how the world taught her to view herself. She whispers out, "Everyone will think…"
"I don't care. We know they are wrong. We know the truth. Who cares what they think? I care about what you think." He studies her for a second, then asks, "If we take everyone else out of the equation, do you want to marry me? Or do you not want to get married if it's with…"
"Jase," she leans forward into him, her hand cupping his cheek, "Marrying you, being married to you would be like a dream. It is the best future I can imagine, but…"
"But what?" he asks, trying to read her face.
"But, are you sure you want to marry me? I'm a mess on my best day, and I will never fit into your family. I mean Lila and Emily are great, but the rest of them…"
"I don't fit in with them either." he reassures her. "My goal is to keep them away from you, not for you to fit in with them."
Carly looks down for a moment, and when she looks back up, he sees pain in her eyes, "I love you so much. And I am scared you will end up resenting me, or worse hating me. What if we get married and you realize it is actually the baby you love, not me? That would destroy me Jason."
Jason looks down in frustration, when he looks back up, he looks vulnerable. He tells her, "Did I ever tell you why I broke up with Robin?" When she shakes her head, he confesses, "That night when you came to me at Jake's changed everything for me. And the next morning, when I woke up and you were gone, I knew that my heart only felt love and passion and desire for you. I fell in love with you that night, long before I even knew about the baby. I knew I couldn't feel the way I feel about you and be in a relationship with anyone else." Pulling her until she is pressed fully into him, "That is still true. If I need to wait until you believe in me, believe in us, I will do it. Because you are the only woman I want, the only woman I love with my whole heart. If it's too scary right now, too soon, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want, anything that makes you feel less than safe and loved. But don't doubt that I want this with everything in me. And please don't doubt that I love you, that I'm in love with you."
"Jason…" her voice is full of awe. She reads the truth of his words on his face, sees the determination and longing and her heart begins to believe. He sees the shift in her eyes and holds his breath. His heart feels like it may beat out of his chest.
She looks down at the ring box in his hand, "Can I see the ring?"
He opens the box, and she gasps at the ring. It has a diamond that has to be at least three carats, surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds in a platinum setting. She reaches out as though to touch it before pulling her hand quickly back. She looks up at him, her love for him shining in her eyes. "Ask me again."
He takes in a sharp breath, his face softening, "Carly, will you marry me?"
She takes just a second to respond, a second that stutters his heart, before nodding with a big smile, "Yes. Oh my God, yes."
She wiggles her fingers at him, so he takes her hand and slowly slips it on her finger. Carly takes a moment to admire the ring on her hand before looking up at Jason. She is lit up in a way that gives him a sense of peace. For the moment at least, her doubts and fears are no longer clouding her eyes. Instead, they are clear and bright with love radiating from them. Jason feels a wave of happiness overwhelm him. Shifting his hands through her hair, he puts pressure on the back of her head, bringing her lips back to his. This time when he kisses her, he allows himself to get lost in their connection.
Jason pulls back long enough to stand up, then he pulls Carly to her feet. She wraps her arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him. He picks her up, with her arms and legs wrapped around him, and carries her upstairs to their bedroom. When she pulls back for a breath, she takes a moment to appreciate the romantic decorations. Candles are lit and the bed is covered in rose petals. Looking up at him, in an overwhelmed voice, she asks him, "You did all this for me?" Before he can answer, she pulls him down for another kiss.
As Jason makes love to her, he whispers love words into her skin. And when she looks in his eyes, his heart is cracked open, letting her see his love and desperation for her. With every touch, every word, every love filled look, Carly believes a little more.