Jason walks up to Carly's room anxiously. He had gotten word that she had been moved just minutes ago, and the need to see for himself that she's really okay, that she's not gone eats him up inside. He also needs to replace the image he has of her lying still and bloody on the ground with something that doesn't rip his heart out.
When the nurse had informed him that Carly was in a room, he had stood up so abruptly the chair had been knocked over. Then, he froze, looking down at his son. He hated the thought of leaving the baby alone, not wanting him to get scared. Emily and his father, seeing his dilemma, took over vigil with the baby, promising they wouldn't leave him.
Getting off the elevator at her floor, he feels jittery with nerves, the feeling foreign to him. Only with this woman, his woman, does he feel so out of sorts. It's as though she brings out feelings in him that he's never had before, awakening him in some fundamental ways. It's uncomfortable as hell at times, but the thought of going back to his coldness and apathy before he met her is a fate he hopes he never has to return to.
He lets out a growl as he sees AJ nosing around her room, peeking in at Carly through the window on the door. Without pausing to stop or making a sound, Jason lifts his brother off his feet. Carrying him by the collar, he takes him to the end of the hall and shoves him against the wall.
AJ's feet dangle beneath him, futilely kicking at the air, as Jason demands with violence in his voice, "This is your last warning. My wife has been through far more than enough. I killed Tony for trying to take her from me. I will do the same to you if you ever attempt to get near my wife. You are a walking danger, harming anyone and everyone in your path. I don't know if your interest is sincere, or it's part of your fucked up rivalry with Jason Q, but I will not have you hurting my family."
"Ease up, man. They are my family now too, brother…" AJ argues.
"Jason Quartermaine was your brother. You killed him. Just because we have similar genetics doesn't mean we have anything to do with each other. You are not my family, you are not my wife's family, you are not my son's family. So, stay the hell away." Jason shoves him back against the wall a few times for emphasis. He slams his head back extra hard one last time, making AJ groan and slump down a little. Then, he drops him to the ground, watching him wince and sink down. With a kick to his leg, Jason warns him, "I'm feeling angry and protective, and nothing would make me feel better than making you a punching bag. Don't test me."
Then, he turns and walks back towards Carly's room, finding Luke leaning against her door with a raised eyebrow, having just watched the altercation between AJ and Jason. Luke smirks down at the sniveling weasel practically crying on the floor. He sounds deceptively cheerful, though his eyes speak of a viciousness just under the surface, as he asks, "Junior messing with our sweet Caroline? You need any help taking out the trash?"
Jason nods, "I'm sure a little more convincing won't hurt him. He's thick headed." Rage makes his voice tight and sharp as daggers. He feels no concern for the threat to his family lying at his feet. Then, he turns his attention to Luke, "And, will you get a guard up here? I want someone watching Carly's door at all times."
"You got it, kid." He tells Jason, and then he gives AJ a big grin, "I have had a shit day, Junior. You are going to give me an excellent way to let off some steam. We're going to have a long talk about respecting boundaries and not wanting things that aren't yours. I'm sure they don't teach you crap like that with a silver spoon stuffed in your trap. So, I'm going to teach you about the consequences of lusting after something that isn't yours." Giving Jason a smile that's a little too wide, he informs him, "You go take care of your wife, I'll take care of this piece of trash."
Jason enters Carly's room to find her fast asleep. The suite is huge with a large comfortable sofa, a large television, and a square table with two chairs. There's also a large en suite bathroom. This room is clearly for VIPs who are willing to pay a premium price for comfort. Jason only vaguely registers it, his eyes focused on his wife sleeping on the bed. He pulls the privacy curtain in front of the door, so no one looking in can see her, and then he moves to her side.
She's frowning, not liking whatever is in her dreams. She looks better than when she came in, no longer deathly pale. Instead, she has a pink flush to her cheeks. An IV is attached to her hand, giving her the fluids hanging above her. She has scratches on her face, probably from running through the woods, along with bruises in various stages of healing. He wants to strip her down and see every mark the bastard put on her, to make sure there's no unseen threat that could take her from him. He also needs to torture himself by knowing everything she's had to endure because he didn't keep her safe.
She begins to moan, thrashing around in her sleep. Jason gently climbs in the bed with her, being careful not to mess up any leads or IVs, and curls around her, whispering soothing sounds. She instinctively cuddles closer, settling down. He lies with her for long minutes, watching her sleep, and then watching as she slowly makes her way to consciousness.
He takes his first truly deep breath at the feeling of her in his arms. He was so scared he was never going to hold her again, never feeling the sense of peace her mere presence brings to him, the sense of home he can only find in her arms. Feeling her warm skin pressed against him, smelling the scent that is uniquely Carly is overwhelming in the feelings it rouses in him. It's almost painful, the rush of relief causing everything to catch up to him. All the fear and helplessness hit him like a punch to the sternum.
She's alive and in his arms, yet there's still a fear that she'll be taken from him. He feels tears leaking from his eyes as his arms pull her desperately against him. It causes her to finally break through the lingering drugs. Her voice is groggy as she questions, "Jase?" Her eyes blink open, then close again at the brightness.
He shifts as though to get up, asking her, "Is it too bright? I can turn off the lights if you…"
"No." She demands in a slurred voice, "Stay here. I'm scared you're going to disappear if you let me go. This could all be another dream. I don't ever want to leave your arms."
He gently pulls her back to him, stroking her hair and skin, "It's not a dream. It's very real. I know how crazy it sounds, but you led me right to you. And you did such a good job of getting away from him and hiding. I found you, and I'm never letting you out of my sight again."
She gives a weak laugh, "I'm not sure how that's going to work. And I knew you would find us. I hid…" Her face pales and her eyes widen. She tries to sit up, her hand jumping to her stomach, and then flinching as pain shoots through her. Tears fill her eyes as she asks, "Jase? Oh God, what happened to our baby?"
"Hey, he's okay. Lay back and take deep breaths, and I'll explain everything." Her eyes are panicked, but it's the quickest way to get what she wants, so she lays back and takes deep breaths. He tells her gently, "You had a placental abruption, which Bobbie says is where the placenta tears off of the uterus. They had to deliver our son and stop the bleeding or you would have both died. But he's strong. Even the doctor says he's a fighter. They have him on a ventilator and in an incubator."
"Jase," she pulls away from him, "it's my fault. It's all my fault that he was born too early. If I hadn't…"
He's shaking his head, frowning as he argues, "There are a bunch of people to blame, but you are not on that list. Tony and Robin being at the top. You have done nothing but love and protect our son. I… I'm the one who should have protected you both. If anyone is to blame…"
"No, I did this to you both. If I hadn't gone after Tony, hadn't destroyed their marriage, and if I hadn't slept with Robin's boyfriend, if I hadn't been so stupid…" her words come out as a moan, her self-torture ripping her apart inside.
He pulls her gently back into his arms, "You seduced a guy who wanted to be seduced. That doesn't give him the right to take you and try to steal our baby. I'm glad he's dead. I only wish I could kill him again. And as for sleeping with me, I'm pretty sure I made the first move. It's more accurate to say I slept with you. Just because Robin doesn't like it, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You aren't to blame. This is Tony's fault, Tony and Robin's, never yours."
She breaks down into sobs, crumpling into his chest. She wails as if she's broken, as if every traumatic moment she's endured hits her at once. Her pain brings tears to Jason's eyes, as he tries to soothe her with whispered words of love and reassurance. Because Carly's mind is a storm of self-recrimination. Every awful thing she's ever done plays like some sick slideshow in her mind. She thinks to herself that Tony and Robin were right. She's only going to hurt everyone around her, and the proof is in her baby boy. She put into motion the chaos that hurt her little boy, that has him fighting for his life.
She begins rocking herself in his arms, telling him over and over again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Jason looks down at her in concern. She's not hearing him, somehow locked inside her own mind. A knock sounds at the door, followed by the opening of the door and Brenda's voice, "I'm coming in."
He's too concerned about Carly to be annoyed at his wife's friend. Maybe she can help him figure out what's going on. She comes into the room and stops when she sees her sobbing. Her eyes jump to Jason's, looking equally concerned. Trying to lighten the mood, she asks, "What did Satan do now?"
Carly wails in response, "Picked the wrong person to be the mother of his son! I did this to my child, it's all my…"
"Nope." Brenda fires back, "Your husband fucks up all the time, and I will absolutely acknowledge that, but that baby has an incredible mom. You were kidnapped, and Luke was telling us you got away from Tony and hid. A mom that fights for her kids, who fights to protect her baby could never be wrong."
Carly gets infuriated by this, her eyes shoot fire as she demands, "If I'm such a great mom, why is our baby fighting for his life?! Why was he born too early to even be able to breathe on his own?! Don't lie and pretend I'm some great mother. If I was, my baby wouldn't be struggling to live!"
Brenda feels a tear drip down her cheek at her friend's obvious pain. Gently, she counters, "That's Tony's fault. You were taken and chained to a freaking bed. That isn't on you."
"If I hadn't…" Carly fires back.
"No. I don't care what you did in the past, it didn't make it okay for them to come after you and hurt you." Brenda argues, her voice beginning to get heated. "I spent practically every single day with you before you were taken. I saw how well you were taking care of yourself. You were eating what you were supposed to eat, taking naps and resting, and doing everything by the book. Being kidnapped is what caused your baby to come early. And before you say that's your fault because you had a relationship with Tony, even an ill-advised one, getting kidnapped is not your fault. I can give you a list of ill-advised relationships I've been in, and not one of them has the right to chain me up to a freaking bed!" Brenda is standing at the end of the bed, looking Carly directly in the eyes. She stands with her feet braced apart and her hands clutching the rail at the end of the bed, as though she's bracing for battle.
Jason backs Brenda up, "Tony and Robin are the ones who hurt you and our son. You didn't do anything wrong."
Carly just looks down, clearly not convinced. Her voice is small when she asks, "Can I go see him? Can you take me to him?"
She looks in Jason's direction as she asks, but he's concerned that she won't meet his eyes. His eyes catch Brenda's, finding the same concern mirrored in hers. He takes just a second, and then he nods at Carly, "Let me check with the nurse."
He gently extracts himself from his wife's arms, both feeling the loss. He gives one more look to Brenda, "You'll stay until I get back?" When she nods, he turns his attention back to Carly. She refuses to look at him, bringing a frown to his face. He tells her, "I'll be right back."
Walking out of the door, he finds Francis standing guard. He gives Jason a look filled with sympathy. "How's she doing?"
Jason just shakes his head, "Something is wrong. I need you to make sure no one gets to her. If AJ or Robin gets anywhere near her, you have permission to do whatever's necessary to protect Carly."
"I won't let anyone get to her." Francis promises.
Jason gives a grateful nod, then heads to the nurse's station. He sees Bobbie, Virginia, and Sonny sitting on couches in the floor's waiting room. They turn to look as he walks up to the nurse, his voice carrying as he asks, "My wife would like to meet our son. Can she go down to see him?"
"Of course." The nurse responds, "Give me just a moment, and I'll get a wheelchair down there and get her ready to go."
"Thank you." He tells her. Then, turning to the waiting group, he asks his mothers-in-law, "I'm concerned about Carly's state of mind. Can you both come check on her? She's not…" he lets out a sigh, "She's blaming herself for everything."
Bobbie stands, already nodding as she moves behind Virginia and begins pushing her towards their daughter's room. She is itching to see Carly, desperate to make sure her baby is okay. At the news that she's struggling, Bobbie feels her muscles tense as if for battle. She practically marches towards her daughter. "Of course. What is she blaming herself for?"
He walks beside them as they make their way back to Carly, "Mainly that the baby is premature. She says it's all her fault because of her going after Tony. Brenda and I both told her it's not her fault, but she doesn't seem to hear us." Jason sounds frustrated.
"That's concerning." Bobbie frowns, "We need to get Dr. Winters to check her. And maybe someone she can talk to, a therapist or psychiatrist. We can't forget that she's been through something deeply traumatic. She is probably being bombarded with too many emotions and feelings at once. Add to that the fact that her hormones are going crazy because she just gave birth, and the fear that comes with having a premature baby, and it's no surprise she's having a tough time." She stops him before they get to Carly's room, giving him a serious look, "I'm concerned about postpartum depression. The trauma she has been through makes it more likely that she'll struggle with it."
"She's depressed?" He looks devastated, like it's a hit too much. "What do I do? How do I fix it?"
Virginia pats his hand, "I think that's something she's going to have to fix herself. All we can do is be there and support her." She looks down at her hands, with a sad frown on her face, "She got really depressed after her friend Carly died, but she's been good since. I mean, she seemed to pull herself out of it."
Bobbie's frown deepens, but she just nods and turns towards the door. She doesn't have to fake a smile as she opens the door to see her daughter. Tears flow down her face as she moves of no volition of her own towards the bed. Luckily, Jason takes over pushing Virginia because Bobbie is only focused on Carly. As she gets to her, her hand smooths down her daughter's arm. She had been so scared she'd never see her again. With joy and relief in her voice, Bobbie cries, "My baby… I was so scared. Thank you God for bringing my daughter and grandson back to us!"
Carly, who had faced the wall, isolating herself, turns around at the sound of her mother's voice. When she sees Virginia in a wheelchair, she curls in on herself, crying out, "Mama? Oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… when Tony said you had a stroke… I'm more sorry than you'll ever know, Mama!"
Virginia stands from the wheelchair and climbs in the bed with her daughter. She gently strokes her face, as she reassures her, "I'm fine, baby. And none of this is your fault, not me, not your baby boy being born early, not getting kidnapped. You haven't done anything wrong. And look at me. I'm better than ever thanks to your mom, and now that I've got my girl back. And I am absolutely in love with my grandson. He's a strong little guy. Not that I'd doubt it being your son."
Raising tear filled eyes, she asks in a wobbly voice, "You've seen him? How does… Is he…"
"He's beautiful, tiny but just beautiful. Oh, I just love him so much!" Virginia gushes.
Bobbie speaks up from the other side of her, "The doctor and nurses are already singing his praises. He's strong, Carly, and the doctors think he's doing good." With a teary voice, she praises, "He's an absolute angel. He truly is a beautiful baby, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his grandma." A small smile lifts the corners of Carly's mouth for the briefest second, before falling back down into a sad expression.
The door opens and the nurse sticks her head in the door, "I hear we have a Mama in here who wants to go see her baby. Your transportation is here."
Carly looks scared for a moment, something both Jason and Bobbie notice. As they transfer her to the wheelchair, Jason hovers protectively, wanting to take over for the nurse in getting her settled, not trusting anyone else to do it with the care he will. There's a growing boulder of anxiety sitting in the pit of his stomach. He's scared to let her out of his sight, terrified something will happen to take her from him again. He can't unhear the words trauma and depression, they ring in his head, tightening his chest. And knowing how much she's struggling ramps up his protectiveness to defcon one. It takes effort not to growl at anyone who comes near his wife.
"Ready?" He asks, taking over pushing the wheelchair.
She gives him a timid nod, deepening his frown. Brenda and Carly's mothers follow them down, but stay outside the NICU, watching from a distance. As Carly puts on the protective gear, Jason watches her shut further and further down. However, the second she sees the baby, she's overwhelmed by emotion. Alan and Emily are sitting with the baby, and both look up hearing Carly begin to sob. She only has eyes for the incubator in front of them.
Jason's father and sister move out of the way as Jason wheels her to sit right next to the baby. A flood of tears flows from her eyes as she takes in the tiny body connected to too many tubes and wires. Curling in on herself, she cries, "Oh, God! My poor little boy. Mommy is so sorry. I should have taken better care of you. I'm sorry you are having to fight so hard. You should still be safe in my belly. If you had a better mom…"
Jason can't bear to hear her blaming herself, so he turns her to face him, "You aren't to blame. You have done nothing to hurt him. Something was done to you, to both of you. It's not your fault, Carly."
"How can you say that?!" She yells, swiping the tears angrily from her face. "Look at our son! He's fighting for his life! If I wasn't such a screw up, messing up everyone's life around me, he wouldn't have to fight so hard. I screwed up his life, and I screwed up your li…"
He grabs her by the shoulders, gently enough to not cause her any pain, but tight enough to bring her eyes to him. He sounds desperate as he pleads, "Please don't say that. The only thing you have ever done for me is make my world better. I love you so much. And look at this beautiful son you gave me. He's perfect. And he has the best mother. I have seen how much you love him, how much you're willing to fight for him. Please don't blame yourself."
Carly shakes her head, "I'm just going to hurt him. I… I ruin everything."
Jason just pulls her into his arms, holding her close to him as she weeps. He meets Bobbie and Brenda's eyes, seeing the same fear and heartbreak in them that he feels. He shakes his head at them, and then frowns as he sees Bobbie head somewhere looking determined.
"Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, hello. My name is Kelly, and I need your help to fill out some paperwork for this handsome little boy. Is now an okay time?" A perky voice asks from behind them.
Jason turns to find a small, blonde nurse who barely reaches his mid-chest. He clears his throat, "Actually…"
With a wobbly voice, Carly breaks in, "Now is fine. What do you need?"
"We have to fill out this cutie's birth certificate, so we need your information and a name for baby boy Morgan." She informs them with a smile.
Carly looks up at Jason panicked, more self-recrimination in her eyes, "We haven't decided on a name. What do you think, Jase?"
He thinks frantically for a moment, wanting desperately to be able to solve at least this problem for her. He looks out the window to see Sonny and Brenda watching them. It makes him think. His boss was the first person who believed in Jason, the first person to give him a purpose and trust that he could see it through. He tilts his head, looking down at his wife, "What about Michael? After Sonny."
Carly looks down at the baby, "Michael? He looks like a Michael. Maybe Michael Spencer Morgan?"
"That sounds perfect." Jason smiles at her, then turns to the baby, "What do you think, son? Do you like it?"
The baby waves his little fist. The slightest of smiles breaks through Carly's sad expression, "I think he likes it."
The nurse fills in the name on the certificate, then hands the form over to the parents to fill out their personal information. As they work on the form, she bends down to talk to the baby, "It's very nice to meet you Michael Spencer Morgan. You are just a little doll. And you've got a big family here loving you. I totally get it, who wouldn't want to come meet this handsome fella?"
Carly looks confused. Looking at Jason, she asks, "A big family? Who is here?"
Jason answers, "The whole Spencer clan including Luke, Laura, Lucky, and Lulu, Ruby, uh… Grandmother and Edward, Emily and my dad, a fair number of the guys are out there."
She has a tear leak down her cheek, "They are all here for him?"
"And you." Jason explains. "If it's too much, I can…"
"No." Her voice is soft, a touch of happiness lights her face, only to be replaced with sadness a moment later. "No, he deserves to have a big family who loves him. His family can stay and surround him with love."
"Our family. Not just Michael's. They are your family too." He tries to break through the wall she's erecting. He's terrified she's going to shut him completely out. It's not a situation he's ever faced with her, and he's feeling increasingly helpless to reach her.
She looks down at her hands, nodding. Then, timidly she asks, "I want to go back to my room. I'm tired. Is that okay?"
He frowns, but agrees, "Of course, let me get someone to sit with him, and I'll take you up."
She just nods, not even looking up. As he walks away, he hears her tell the baby, "You deserve a better mom, Michael, and I'm so so sorry. But, you have a whole family that loves you…"
Walking out to the group, he asks in a stressed voice, "Where's Bobbie?"
Brenda shrugs, "Don't know, but she ran out of here like a bat outta hell. Why?"
He shakes his head, looking overwhelmed. Sonny raises his eyebrows, concerned for his usually unflappable friend. Jason wipes moisture from his eyes, as he admits, "Carly isn't good. She needs to see the doctor now. I don't like how she's talking. It scares me."
Sonny speaks up in a hesitant voice, "Why don't you let me take her up? You can follow in a minute, but let me talk to her."
Jason looks unsure, the thought of leaving her side while she's struggling is almost impossible. But understanding the responsibility Sonny feels for his wife after she helped him, he nods, "I want to check in with Bobbie anyway." Turning to Brenda and Virginia, he asks, "Will you sit with the baby?" He shoots his boss a look filled with the importance of the moment as he shares, "His name is Michael. Michael Spencer Morgan."
Sonny's eyes get misty, "Yeah?"
"I… uh, I haven't talked to Carly about it yet, but I was hoping you'd be your namesake's godfather." Jason tells him. There's a wealth of emotions in his normally stoic expression, matched by the emotions in Sonny's.
The mobster clears his throat as he accepts, "I'd be honored, man."
Brenda cuts in, "I'm assuming I'll be the little guy's godmother."
Jason grunts, "Probably. But, it's Carly's decision."
"It's definitely me." Brenda decides, with a decisive nod.
Jason ignores her and goes back into the nursery. When he gets to Carly's side, she is staring off into space. Leaning down to speak to her, she jumps, turning towards him with her arms raised and a scared look. He puts his hand up, backing up a step to give her space. With a gentle tone, he apologizes, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't…" she shakes her head, simply trailing off. She looks heartbreakingly sad, her entire body sagging as though under an incredible weight.
He takes in a shaky breath, "Sonny is going to take you up to your room. I won't be long."
She turns big, vulnerable eyes up to him, "You should stay with Michael. He needs his father right now."
"I can take care of you both." He says with determination. Her lips twitch down, but she just nods. When she doesn't say anything, he asks, "Are you ready?"
She looks at the too tiny body of her baby and nods. Then, she tells Michael, "I love you, Mr. Man. Mommy loves you." Then, a flood of tears rolls down her cheeks as she begins wheeling herself almost desperately away. "Take me out. Please."
Jason tells his son goodbye, promising to be back soon. Then, he pushes the wheelchair out to Sonny, and kneels down in front of Carly. He cups her head and runs his thumb gently down her cheek, "I love you. Whatever is wrong, we're going to fix it. I'm here for whatever you need." Carly just cries big, gasping sobs. He pulls closer, kissing her forehead. He holds her until her crying begins to ease, then he professes, "I will do anything for you. All you have to do is let me."
She grabs onto his shoulders, then her hand rests gently on his cheek. "I love you too. I'm a disaster, but I do love you."
He leans his forehead against hers, her shaky breaths puffing against his lips. "Whatever is tearing you up inside, we'll beat it together. You're not alone."
Sonny speaks up behind the pair, "And it's not only Jason that you've got in your corner."
"You know you have me. I shouldn't even have to say it, bitch." Brenda adds, her tone serious despite the smirk at the endearment.
"Thank you." She says softly, giving them a weak smile.
Giving Jason a determined nod, Sonny proclaims, "That's my cue. Let's get you back to your room."