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"So it's-"

"True, Admiral." Shepard said, leaning against the wall and staring a hole into the floor, watching the shadow's from Hackett's holoform light flickering as she spoke. Bile rose as she remembered, and then remembered that she shouldn't remember it at all, and her head ached. "I just… I saw it. Felt it. The Covenant…"

"It was bad." Hackett hummed, "Read your report, Commander."

"The report doesn't do it justice." She snapped, flicking a look to the Admiral and grimacing a second later. "Sorry, Sir."

"You've been through an experience, Commander." Hackett smiled, a soft, weak little thing that showed off just how tired he was. Relaxing, he ran his fingers through his hair and said, "I understand something of what you're feeling."

"You do?" She scoffed, "Hard to imagine, Sir."

"Long story, from a long time ago." He sighed, "Short version is, an Aardat Yakshi got her hands on me."

"What?"

"Squadmate got her off before she could fully meld with me." He waved her off, "But I felt her die. It was… Something."

"I bet." She frowned, "So you do get it, I guess."

"I do." He nodded, "After a fashion, that is. What you saw, what you experienced, is… Truly unique."

"Mhm."

"To that end…" The man frowned and straightened up, a silent signal for her to do the same. For once, she didn't do it, though she did meet his eyes and raise a brow. "Going forward, you have an official addendum to your operations, Commander."

"Sir?"

"I want you to work with Doe and Doctor T'Soni." He said, "These people, they waged a war for decades against a far superior, and vicious, enemy. And they did it with less than we have. Less tech, less allies-"

"More planets." She cut in, "And bigger everything. Their ships were massive, Admiral."

"So I understand. But I'm not thinking of swapping our shipyards over or anything of the sort, Shepard." He sighed, enough agitation creeping into his voice and finally pushing her to stand straighter, to show the proper respect. "Tactics, portable technologies, logistical frameworks, political frameworks, small-scale specialized military technology- Things like that SOEIV the Turians recovered for us. Insights, Shepard. Anything that can help stem the tide."

"I'll… Do what I can, Admiral." She sighed, "Liara sealed it all up in my head, though. To prevent leak. So… I can't promise alot."

"Doe wasn't so lucky, if I recall." Hackett hummed, "Doctor T'Soni wasn't familiar enough with he and Javik to fully separate them from each other. And she couldn't disentangle you either."

"He didn't trust her." Shepard explained, head aching as she tried to remember everything Liara had told her. Preparation for this very topic, in fact, but it was all so complicated… And stuff she'd never begun to even think of studying. "John's mind… Rebelled against her trying. Hell, his memories were strong enough even I was, for a while. Liara was only just able to dissociate the memories enough that I could collect myself, let her in. I doubt he'd be the type to agree to a Meld so Liara can pick his brain."

"Not my suggestion." Hackett grunted, "I'm suggesting you speak with him, ask him for hat he knows."

"Alright." She nodded, "I'll… Do what I can. But, for now, I have some myself."

"Oh?"

"Liara built a sort of… Wall, to keep their memories back." She explained, "Javik is just a soldier. He knows how to fight and maintain his rifle and armor, but not much else. Doe, though? He's a specialist. I know enough about what he did to know that ODSTs are lethal."

"How lethal?"

"N7s." She answered, "Liara and I can pull what we can about his training out of my head, and our engineers can study his pod. Together-"

"We could run rapid-inserts, too." Hackett hummed, "Better, even, possibly. Applying Mass Effect technology could mitigate many of the risks Doe described in the brief you sent me."

"I'll speak to him." She nodded, "As soon as he's recovered. We can pull some from my head, I'm sure, but…"

"It's dangerous?"

"A bit, yes, Sir." Not terribly, but it was exhausting, and a mistake could mix their memories irreversibly - enough for 'Shepard' to cease to be entirely, in the worst case. Or, worse, undo the memories that made her up entirely - and where would she be if her years of training happen to be what got muddied? "It'd be safer to simply talk to him about it, and use that to, um, supplement, if we need to."

"See it done, then, however you're able to manage it." Hackett nodded, "And be careful. Dismissed, Commander."

She nodded and, after a half-second, the call ended. Turning, she frowned and sighed.

"He's not gonna like this…"

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"No." He frowned, crossing his arms and leaning back to rest against the wall behind his cot and flicking looks between the Commander and the more sheepish looking Asari lingering at the impromptu entrance made by his work-table and the crates just past it. Ignoring the alien, he spoke to the Commander, voice low, "I don't want any aliens in my head, Commander. Not again."

"Doe, if we-"

"No." He repeated firmly, "Out of everyone on this damn ship, you should understand, Commander. If everything you told me is true, you should get it."

"And I do, Doe, I really do." She conceded, shaking her head and leaning against the edge of his work-desk. "But without the Prothean Cypher, the knowledge and experiences from Javik are eroding your mind. Along with the Beacon's imprints. You can't survive a month of either, but both? At once? You could die."

"Could." He grunted, "Could, not will."

"Doe…"

"Damn it all, Shepard, I just…" He grimaced and turned away, staring into the wall with a frown. "I don't- I just can't-"

"I get it, Doe, I do." Shepard sighed, chewing on her lip when he turned back to her. Finally, she said, "Liara, would you mind…?"

"Happily, Commander." The Asari nodded, turning and pacing away up the stairs in a way that his borrowed memories told her she was anxious, and the way her tensed shoulders told her she was upset. Angry, even, judging by the burning scent of ozone from her Barrier, lingering in the less-than-stellar ventilation of the sub-deck.

Why, he couldn't be sure.

But he shouldn't have known even that much - and the why behind that irked him.

"Doe-"

"Commander," he sighed, "don't. I said no."

"I could force you." She snapped suddenly, brows furrowing in confusion and aggravation, seemingly at her own outburst. Quietly, she pressed on, "Hackett already cleared it. I give the word, and Marines take you."

"No, he didn't, and you wouldn't actually do that anyway." He smiled when her brows furrowed in an obvious question and tapped his head meaningfully by way of explanation. "Your memories are mine."

The woman scowled in answer, and then her face softened and she pushed off the bed, pacing over and sitting beside him. After a moment, she chuckled and side-eyed him, "Well, damn. Kind of ruins most of my approaches, that."

"Only most?"

She smirked and leaned back against the wall beside him, joining him in staring up at the lights blinking on and off on the ceiling. Finally, after a moment, she said, "I've been talking. To Javik, I mean. About… Our situation."

"Ah." He blinked, "And?"

"And, when he and his Empire fought the Reapers, what we are was… Banned." She said, smirking when his brows furrowed.

"Then shouldn't I-"

"It's not something he ever cared about. Just… One of a thousand rules on a page, that he memorized long enough to pass a test and never really cared about again, with all his focus on the war. So it's up there, in you, but… Buried." She explained, "Under everything I am, and everything you are, and everything else he is. All mixed up and confused."

"What we're called now, what people like us were always called when they shared their lives like this, is 'Bonded'. It's… Intimate, in a way, but not romantic. Family would do it, too, and so would comrades and trusted colleagues." She went on, tapping a finger away on her thigh. "And the reason you can't remember what that means is a symptom of what you're suffering right now. It's called the 'Mixing' and, if it's allowed to run its course, you will lose your mind. Might even die, but you will go insane either way."

"Ah…" He sighed and frowned, but Shepard spoke before he could.

"But you don't care." He shot her a look and she chuckled, shaking her head and laughing quietly. "Oh, don't get me wrong, you care. You don't want to die, of course. But you don't want to do this more. And you'll let yourself get as deep into the Mixing as you can stand, and then eat your gun."

He felt the eat rush through him, along with an instinctive kind of anger, before he let out a breath and sighed, turning back to the ceiling and murmuring, "I just… You understand me, right?"

"You went through enough hell that aliens scare me, Doe." She answered, voice quiet. "Liara had to… Have me restrained, so she could Meld with me. Help me. But even now, I'm… Still not entirely me. And you won't ever be entirely you, either."

"You're not exactly convincing me of much…"

"I know, but I'm getting there." She waved him off, smiling thinly. Comfortably. "When I had to go through it, even after the first few minutes Garrus had to hold me down, I… Didn't want to. It was terrifying. Just having her touch me to do it, when there was still so much of us Mixing, was…"

"Hard." He murmured, understanding it intimately.

"Yeah. But… I did it." Shepard sighed wearily, "And not to save myself, either. I didn't want to leave my team behind to deal with all… All this. Or Javik. Or, well, you."

"Me?"

"You… Can't decipher it, right now, under and past everything. But Bonded are… Close, as I said." She sighed, face twisting a bit as she searched out the right words. "They're closer than close, really. Closer than family, o-or lovers, even, in a few ways. The sheer understanding, the connection- Losing it is enough to break plenty, Doe. Enough for the Protheans to ban it. Me dying like that could, and probably would, break both of you."

"And I could do the same." He frowned, "Right?"

"Right." She nodded, "And I don't want to guilt trip you, to risk pushing you away like that, but… Well, I'd rather have you alive and whole, and pissed at me, then wasting away somewhere until you finally give out. Just… Can you imagine me going through that? Having to watch me do it?"

He could, yes - and it made his stomach turn.

"I get it, Shepard." He finally sighed, letting his eyes droop closed and frowning. "I just… I get it."

"So?"

"So… Fine." He growled, turning and scowling at the woman as she smiled. As she got up, he grabbed her by the forearm and grunted, "Just… As long as you trust her."

Because she was right - he trusted Shepard implicitly, now. And as angry as not really understanding that was, as confused and small as he felt with three entire lives stuck in his head, he still did. He couldn't help it.

So, when she smiled, nodded and said, "I do, yeah. With my life."

He couldn't help but feel the same way, in spite of himself.

"Thank you, Doe." She smiled more genuinely, more warmly, and he felt better, somehow, as she turned and called out, "Liara, we're ready."

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When he came to, laying on his cot, a lot went through his mind. And did so all at once.

First, the gentle, somewhat scaly, touch of the Asari as she withdrew. And the instinctive disquiet that came from an alien touching him - along with a ever so gently muted, perplexing comfort from Liara doing it. Second was… Well, himself. Reset, in a word, with every bit of 'himself' separate from the memories and emotions in the back of his mind that he could distinguish as 'Shepard's' and 'Javik's'. Along with a mess of more distant, generic feeling, hard to recall thoughts and feelings that he couldn't tell apart. It was all different, but this connection… He could feel it all, the lives they'd all lived, but it all felt different in a detached sort of way.

Like the difference between being in a fire-fight and watching the same fight back later on helmet-cam. It was still connected, you still felt it, but it was different.

And he felt... Better.

Like after a good meal, a hot shower, and a long sleep right after a hard mission. Still tired when he woke up, but in a different way, now.

Setting the memories aside, he rolled onto his side and pushed himself up on an arm while Liara murmured, "Carefully… Carefully. You've been through… Quite the ordeal, of late."

"Yeah…" And Gods, that sounded like an understatement, too. He'd just woken up, but somehow even as rested as he felt, he also felt exhausted, too. Like he'd been fighting for days, and it suddenly hit him in a wave.

He was exhausted, enough he wanted another nap even though he knew it would offer him nothing.

Even so, he asked, "How-"

"Long were you out?" He frowned and Liara chuckled quietly, and tired, but nonetheless warmly. "You and the Commander are both rather similar, and were before… All of this. Very direct, to the point, when you want to know something. Asking whatever it is without even the slightest bit of more polite gamesmanship."

"I… Suppose you would know me fairly well now, too."

"I do, yes." Liara nodded, smile falling and eyes flicking away the way they did when Liara felt guilty, especially about something she couldn't have ever changed. Which was something he somehow recalled, but knew he shouldn't have, in an odd sort of cognitive dissonance that left him uncomfortable.

Which… Was something that would take some getting used to.

"It couldn't be helped, Liara." He sighed, pulling a knee up to tuck against his chest and wrapping an arm around it before he realized how uncomfortable that was, frowned, and sighed as he let his leg back down. "Damn it, Shepard…"

"You'll adjust." She smiled, "Do not worry about that."

"As long as it's dealt with."

"It should be, I think." The Asari nodded, "It will take a few hours yet, but the walls I built in your mind are Javik's design, for the vast part. As they settle, the still muddied parts of your mind should sort themselves out, more or less. You will still be able to reach the information, should you need, but you will also know when you reach for what 'is not yours', so to speak."

"So… I can remember it all?" He hummed, "Useful."

"More or less, and I should think so, yes." She nodded, "Some will have already settled but, again according to Javik, what little hasn't been walled off, or won't be in a few hours' time, will be simple things. Basic knowledge, cultural impressions, intuitive beliefs and idioms, perhaps, but nothing overt. Or problematic."

"Mathematics, yes." He grunted, "Politics and advanced physics, no."

"Precisely." Liara nodded and stood from the crate that served as his seat at the desk. She turned to leave, then, but hesitated for a moment before she turned back to him. Eyes downcast, she said, "I… Enjoyed our interviews. Learning about you, your world and history, has been fascinating. It takes me back to a me of years ago, and I rather like it."

"You're asking to continue."

"I do, yes." She nodded, turning to face him a bit more. "With a bit more… Direction, admittedly. From Hackett."

"Direction?"

"You and your people fought a war not terribly unlike ours, Doe." She answered, "Technology we can adapt, economic schemes, techniques either civilian or military - if you have anything that can help us, I would be fascinated to learn about it. And Hackett would appreciate learning about it."

"I see." He hummed, that old, creeping, instinctive paranoia creeping in. And then vanishing as quickly as it came when the Asari smiled, eyes sparkling, almost, with an old curiosity that tugged at his - at Shepard's, really - nostalgia that made him sigh. "Alright… Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow would be splendid, yes." She nodded, turning and walking away with just a bit more eagerness in her step.

He watched her go, then sighed wearily.

"This is such a mess…"

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Javik ran his fingers through the low basin with a contemplative hum, pulling himself from his new memories, and his effort to organize them on his own, as a presence came into his quarters. The man had come in his armor, which he'd expected him to do if he came at all, but had also come unarmed. Which he hadn't. Meeting an alien - and a Biotic, as they would call it, too - in their own quarters? That should have had his Mixing paranoia rushing through him.

But it wasn't - and that seemed a good sign.

"Human." He bowed his head, earning a sigh from the man as he came in and leaned against the wall by the door.

"That's all you have to say to me?"

"It is." He was taking the angry route, then? Understandable enough, he supposed. Frowning, he leaned against the basin behind him and asked, "Is there any more I should have to say to you, Human?"

"Maybe an apology?"

"I owe no one an apology for my biology." He scoffed, "Less so for it acting on its own when I am out of mind."

"It'd be polite."

"You know me." Javik pointed out, "Better than most, unfortunately. Better at least than any of the primitives that surround you. Do I seem the polite type?"

"No." The man shrugged, "You don't."

"Precisely." Javik agreed, pursing his lips and turning to run his finger through the water idly. "I… Am glad you survived, however. You are an adept warrior. And yours would be a loss to our cause."

"I'm glad, too." Doe answered, "Dying would have sucked."

"Ah…" Javik chuckled, "I suppose it would have."

When he turned, it was to watch the other warrior leave. Smiling thinly, Javik returned to toying with the water idly.

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So, the end of Ancient Echoes… Hope you liked it!

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