A/N:

I'm on time, yay me! Thanks to all reviewers and new followers you really make my day when I get those notification emails.

Enjoy!

Ilandrae

Disclaimer: Still own nada

CHAPTER 5 – THE CALLING

Merlin's Cave

Merlin watched the retreating backs of Percival and Leon as they rode into the forest, glad that the illusion meant they had not seen the tears in his eyes, they had not been able to see what he had become. The warlock took a great shuddering breath and slumped against the cave wall sliding down until he was seated. He hugged himself tight, no longer able to hold back the tears that came in loud gasping sobs.

He had not been ready for the torrent of emotions that seeing them had brought. Hadn't had time to prepare himself to face the past that he'd been running from for ten years; had been trying everything in his power to forget. But just their presence had been enough to bring back all the guilt, grief and self-loathing that he'd tricked himself into believing he'd moved past, that he thought he might have managed to leave behind. Apparently not.

Screams. Screams were all he heard. The sounds of men dying in pain and agony. His feet pounded on the ground as he ran, as he ran as fast as he could hoping that he wasn't too late. Merlin gripped his Siadhe staff tighter, horrible images flashing through his mind. Of red. The red of blood splashed across the red of Camelot. Of dead and dying, of knights and friends who would never move again, of a certain King breathing his last breath.

Merlin cursed again at the aging spell he had been forced to don. He cursed the slow speed at which he was able to move.

He hauled himself atop the final rise and gazed upon the seething mass that was Camlann. His eyes searched frantically, seeking a certain blonde who would no doubt be in the thick it, in the most dangerous part of the combat. When he saw him, his heart skipped a beat… then went into overdrive.

He felt his magic fill him, reacting to the sudden heart stopping moment of fear. Lifting his staff, he let the magic flow.

The enemy soldiers that had been advancing on Arthur were flung back and away from the king. He turned and the other group that had been behind him were cast away as well.

The King looked around in confusion wondering what had happened. When their eyes met, despite the distance, Merlin saw the utter astonishment in his King's eyes. Merlin hid back a grim smile and gave his magic free reign. Lighting rained down from the sky and Saxon after Saxon was struck and cast back.

Merlin's heart seemed to swell as he heard Arthur's heartfelt call

"FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT"

But the relief he felt did not last, there was one more thing he had to do, one more thing he didn't do in time.

That moment he saw him. That moment he saw Arthur's still form… his heart sputtered to a stop once more as he realised, he'd been too late.

Rushing to find a pulse he barely registered Mordred's body only a few meters away. As he felt the weak fluttering of Arthurs heart against his fingers, he knew it was not over yet.

The warlocks heart hammered as he recalled that fateful day. From victory to failure, to victory to failure. Doomed to eternal life, that day the warlock had been surrounded by so much death.

How had she found them? How had it all gone so wrong?

The witch grinned maliciously at Arthur as she advanced on the King.

"I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you-"

Merlin drew Excalibur without a sound as the witch gloated

"-until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bath in your blood"

Merlin's voice was steady as he spoke, the witch turning to face him "No, the time for all this blood shed is over. I blame myself for what you've become… but this has to end"

And he did blame himself. Couldn't help but think it was his actions which had sent her along this dark path.

He almost felt sorry as she smirked "I am a high priestess. No mortal blade can kill me"

There was no hesitation as Merlin sunk the sword into her body, her eyes widening as she realised the truth.

"This is no mortal blade" Merlin saw her eyes widened as the truth of the words reached her "like yours it was forged in a dragon's breath"

Holding her he uttered two final words as the light faded from her eyes "Goodbye Morgana."

Always a balance. He came to learn later. The death of darkness. The death of light. With no consideration for those who were caught in the crossfire. Or those who were left behind.

Merlin tried desperately to keep his King going but Arthur seemed to have accepted his fate.

"All your magic, Merlin, can't save my life"

"I can. I'm not going to lose you" his efforts to drag the wounded King to his feet faltered as Arthur spoke weakly again.

"Just, just hold me. Please"

Merlin sunk to the ground with his king, his brother, and held him as he continued quietly.

"There's something I want to say…"

"You're not going to say goodbye" Merlin gruffly trying and failing to hold back tears.

"No, Merlin… Everything you've done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build…"

"You'd have done it without me" of that Merlin had no doubt, Arthurs golden heart would have permitted for nothing else.

"Maybe. I want to say… something I've never said to you before…" the King looked him in the eye and Merlin gave up on trying to hold back tears.

"Thank you"

As Arthurs body went still Merlin's heart shattered. He yelled, calling for Kilgarra but not even the Great Dragon could save his friend.

He had failed. No matter what the dragon said, no matter what he knew everyone else would say. He had failed Arthur. He had failed Gwen. He had failed all of Camelot. He had failed himself.

So as he watched the boat carrying his Kings body out to the lake. As he watched the first lick of flame begin to consume the little boat. He made a promise.

He could never go back. Could never face the people of Camelot again. So, he would never return.

And he never did.

But, say as he would that he could never face those back in Camelot again, Merlin was torn. He thought about the knights' expressions when he had snapped. The utter heartbreak and disappointment on their faces as he had roared that he was never setting foot in Camelot again. He winced as he again heard the rage in Percival's voice as he spoke: "Give it a rest Leon. There is nothing more we can do here". The black anger that Merlin had seen in his eyes, so unlike the gentle giant that the huge knight normally was… or had used to be. Leon, equally out of character, had practically begged for his help. His reluctant use of the absurd Great One title clear on his face as he brought himself low enough to use it. It was that rage, anger, desperation and disappointment that made Merlin want to help. Almost made him want to go back to the place that had hurt him so much.

So, it was this part of him that was conflicting with the other emotions that had held him back for so long. No, it wasn't just the emotions. It was one simple fact: He had failed. How could he ever return to Camelot knowing that he hadn't been able to save Arthur? Return to Gwen to deliver the news that her husband was never coming home. Tell the knights that their leader was dead? All. Because. Of. Him.

Then there was Gaius. The one person who had always been there for him. How could he return when he had been away for so long? He was certain all his past friends believed him dead, who was he to shatter the illusion? As his thoughts whirled round, and round, thoughts so full of hatred and self-loathing, he couldn't help the thought that was all his fault. He could never return, never show his face again after his failure.

But there was also the thought, he had failed before… what was to stop him from failing again? That was his last grim thought as he drifted off into an uneasy sleep his tears exhausted and his soul shredded from the battle that had been the last hour.

Emrys… Merlin moaned and tried to ignore the ghostly voice that had invaded his sleep.

Emrys… you are needed.

"No…" Merlin muttered trying to shut out the ghostly words.

You are the protector Emrys… the servant… who are you to deny anyone your aid?

"I failed!" Merlin shouted and opened his eyes only to realize he hadn't really. He stood alone in the middle of a ghostly plain, washed out of colour and desolate.

He felt something brush past him and saw the white ghostly forms of spirits surrounding him. He heard their whispers in his mind.

You did not fail Emrys… failure would have been doing less than you did

Merlin was still trying to figure out what the hell that meant when the spirits whispered again

There is an evil Emrys, another evil that is stalking the lands of Albion… an evil that none have a chance of defeating without your aid…

"Haven't I done enough!" Merlin shouted and the spirits shied away from him "I defeated Morgana! What more do you want from me?"

We know you have sacrificed much young warlock,

That voice sounded familiar, "Kilgara?" Merlin croaked tears springing to his eyes as he realised what hearing the dragon now meant

Yes Merlin, you knew my time was coming, I have passed. But I am still able to aid you now. There is an evil equal to that of Morgana stalking the lands. And all that you have sacrificed will have been for nothing if this evil is allowed to be free. You are again Albion's only hope.

Merlin sighed, "But I failed…"

Forget about the past Merlin again that voice was familiar

Merlin took a deep breath, taking in the numerous ghostly, indistinct forms around him, "Lancelot?"

Yes Merlin, and I am not alone, all of the fallen knights of Camelot stand by me. They stand by you. Forget about the past. Forget about Camlann. Camelot needs you now. Save our city Merlin, and we will help you as we can.

What the hell did he mean by that? "What do you mean by-"

You Clotpole

Merlin awoke as if he had been shocked, he wiped his eyes and saw his wet fingers. He had been crying. He looked at his trembling hands and whispered "Arthur?"

And though he was now wide awake he still heard faintly in the night:

Yes you idiot. Now go save my Kingdom

Merlin stared at his hands, now no longer trembling, for a moment longer. Then he suddenly rushed to his feet.

You are the protector Emrys… the servant… It was all he's known. Even now, he couldn't turn away the people that came to him. Forget about the past Merlin… the past was the past. Done. Finished. Nothing he did now, whether it be wallow in self-loathing or blame the world around him, would change what has already happened. He couldn't save Arthur, but maybe, just maybe… Now go save my Kingdom… he could save Camelot.

It was as if a new fire had been sparked. Merlin glanced out his cave and saw to some surprise that he had slept through the night and most of the day. In a second he was rushing around his cave shoving supplies into a bag. He quickly re-saddled his Bay and in less than an hour he was riding from his cave and out into the forest. With a quick glance back he removed the door from his illusion, now the entrance to his home was once again sealed with solid rock.

The Ameldry Tavern

All eyes turned to Merlin as he walked into the only tavern in Ameldry. The evening rush was just beginning to start, so nearly half of the tables were occupied, meaning the eyes boring into Merlin were more than enough to make him feel uncomfortable. He tried to ignore them as he walked to the bar where Eran was serving drinks.

When Merlin caught his eye, he saw the tavern keeper give him a relieved smile. As he approached the bar the people already there parted for him respectfully.

"Great One" Eran said when Merlin reached him "I am relieved to see that your recent visitors went by without a fuss"

Grimly Merlin recalled the scathing words and his own melt down, "Indeed Eran. Thank you for the warning"

Eran smiled "It was the least we could do after everything you have done for us" he smiled at something over Merlin's shoulder.

Before Merlin could turn to see what it was, he almost face planted at the bar as a small weight barrelled into him.

"Emrys!" Mel cried as she hugged him "I passed those knights on my way back here" she grinned her eyes sparkling with childhood innocence and glee "I knew you could take them!"

Merlin merely put him arm around her and attempted a smile, but even he knew it must have looked strained. Both Eran and his daughter gave him questioning looks.

"Eran" Merlin said as he turned back to the bar "May I speak with you?" he cast a glance around the rapidly filling room "in private" he added.

Eran again gave him a questioning look but motioned for his bar hand to take the bar. He led Merlin into the back room, Melisandrae trailed curiously behind.

When he was sure they were alone Eran turned to Merlin "What's wrong?"

Merlin hesitated, reluctant to inform him that he was leaving again. But he took a deep breath and just got it over with, "I'm leaving the village again"

Shock and confusion were clear on the big man's face as he opened his mouth to speak but Merlin hurriedly continued, "Just for another few days. I have some-" again Merlin hesitated "-some past business to deal with. I should be back in a couple of days"

Eran looked relieved that he was not going forever, his next words confirming it "Thank the gods. I don't know what Ameldry would do if you left for good, it's been a few years since Denarag came but I always worry that his bandit spies are just waiting for you to leave. I was scared enough when those knights came by. I-" his eyes narrowed "but this is because of them. Isn't it?"

Merlin sighed "I have… obligations, to a past friend. My past -no matter how much I have tried to forget it seems- is catching up. But I promise you this," Merlin looked him right in the eyes "I will return".

Merlin reached into the bag that was slung over his shoulder. He pulled out a handful of small spheres and gave then to Eran. "These are linked to the wards that I have placed around the village" he explained, "When they glow it means that someone with ill intent is crossing the village boundary" he sighed regret in his heart "I'm sorry I cannot do anything more Eran. But I must go" the looks that Mel and her father were giving him almost made him change his mind, but he knelt next to Mel "Mel, you can keep the pony. If anything does happen, I'll be in Camelot, in the city" he ignored Eran's surprised exclamation and continued to Mel "you can find me there".

He got up and turned to leave "I'll be gone no more than a week probably less" with that he walked out the door.

As he left, he heard a small voice whisper after him, "Good luck Emrys…".

Again, he ignored the uncomfortable stares as he walked out of the now full tavern.

So that's that!

I ;)