A/N:

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry for the fact that this is a week late. However I am moving and starting a new job so I'm officially ditching any form of updating schedule. I will do all I can do post new chapters but they will most definetly not be weekly. Thanks to new followers and reviewers love hearing that your enjoying it and don't worry about being nitpicky I get the gist and do not fear Wolf11 it is most definitely not a thing I plan to use regularly if again at all. Love to hear you guys loved the drama too!

Anyhow, enjoy!

Ilandrae

Disclaimer: Nil ownership of anything related to Merlin

CHAPTER 7 – DON'T TEST ME TINHEAD

Camelot Throne Room

It was as if time had stopped. He just stood there staring at Art. He turned to Gwen and she could see the shock and confusion written plainly across Merlin's face.

"Yes Merlin," she said still holding Art close to her "This is Art. He's mine and Arthur's son. During the battle of Camlan… I was pregnant."

Merlin looked back to Art, but Gwen took a second to truly look at Merlin. It had been ten long years since anybody from Camelot had lain eyes on the man, and he had changed.

The scrawny manservant who had stood in the background and hidden in the shadows was gone. In his place was a man who stall tall, unafraid to look others in the eye as equals, no matter their standing. A man who had no hesitation or fear in telling others what he thought. Here was a man who Gwen guessed would have little trouble swinging the large sword she spied under the heavy cloak which Merlin had worn to conceal his identity. His hair was a little shaggier too, she noted as an afterthought.

But gone also was some of the spark from Merlin's eyes. He looked plagued, by what she couldn't tell but something had happened these past years. Something that had taken some of the glimmer from Merlin's spirit. But he still looked like Merlin. Their Merlin.

A quick glance at Leon and Percival told her that though they too saw the differences they saw the same Merlin as she. The one that took too many responsibilities on his shoulders and easily blamed himself when he should not. The same compassionate, caring Merlin without an ounce of selfishness in him. The same Merlin that appeared at the most opportune times and had saved all their lives at one time or another.

She remembered talking to Gaius those years ago, upon figuring out that Merlin was the sorcerer at Camlann. Though she had not seen him since and had begun to believe him dead, she'd had trouble actually seeing him as a sorcerer.

Then the more she'd thought of it, the more things seemed to make sense. All those times Merlin had followed Arthur into impossible battles and had come out unharmed, despite the fact he carried no weapon. The luck that had seemed to follow Camelot and Arthur around when Merlin had served him, it wasn't luck at all. It was magic.

So she'd begun to be able to fit Merlin with magic. But the way he'd described his deeds before? The way he'd listed his titles and his enemies. Try as she might, Gwen could not fit her image of Merlin with the one that he had painted before. Emrys, the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the Earth. The warlock who had defeated many enemies and beasts magical and non-magical alike.

Warlock, warrior, title figure of the magical community.

However, the more she looked at him the more it began to make sense. Merlin now seemed to have aura of power and control about him. No longer hiding Gwen swore she could almost feel the power radiating off of him.

But that still brought about the question, it had been ten years since anybody in Camelot had seen him. Where had Merlin been?

The warlock ran a hand wearily through his hair muttering, "I need a chair," his eyes flashed pure gold in testament to the fact he did not care one bit that though Gwen didn't exactly enforce the anti-magic laws, they were in fact still in place.

In response several people shouted in surprise as a chair that had been shattered in the fight magically repaired itself and slide across the floor for an exhausted Merlin to collapse into it.

Knights surged forward and one, Sir Dryth in Gwen remembered correctly, pushed her behind him.

"Back sorcerer!" Dryth pointed his word at Merlin "We will not allow you to harm the Queen or the Prince!"

Merlin's annoyance seemed to snap him out of his own tumultuous thoughts, and he gave the knight a wry smile "Dryth? Is it?"

"Fiend do not read my mind I forbid it!"

Merlin flashed Gwen a look that she interpreted as Where the heck did you find this guy? Which to be honest she was thinking the same thing.

"If you don't want people to know your name, here's a hint," Merlin looked anything but impressed "Don't get it engraved on your sword. Anyway, do you really think that I will harm the Royal Family with a magically reconstructed chair while I'm sitting in it?"

Dryth seemed lost for words, so to really drive his point home he went for the good old "You are a sorcerer and will die!" charging towards the warlock before Gwen could do anything other than wonder how they could improve their knights selection process.

As the knight swung his sword Leon, Percival, Gwen and to her surprise Art shouted out but they needn't have worried.

Merlin raised a lazy eyebrow as the steel arched towards his throat. His eyes flashed and the sword stopped in mid-air. Confusion clouded Dryth's face and Merlin's eyes flashed again. Confusion was replaced with pain and the knight dropped his sword with a clatter as the grip burned red hot.

Merlin glared at him "Don't test me tin head. I've had a trying day."

Gwen smiled, now that sounded like the old Merlin. But as she saw Dryth begin to advance again she pushed forward, "Dryth! Stand down!"

Complete befuddlement is what she saw on Dryth's face, "But my Queen…" he said weakly gesturing to Merlin who was looking at him unamused "… sorcerer?"

Leon stepped forward "Dryth…" he gestured to the still seated warlock "it's Merlin" there was a murmuring from the rest of knights and Gwen saw a number nodding in agreement. Leon continued talking to Dryth like he was an idiot, which if you ask Gwen he seemed to be. Leon pointed to Gwen "Gwen would not be alive…" he then again pointed to Merlin "if not for Merlin" Gwen saw more red cloaked knights nodding in agreement, reminding her for some reason of a flock of pigeons, or possibly chickens...

Merlin was watching the whole thing with amusement, but Gwen saw his gaze continuously flicking to Art. Who, Gwen suddenly realized, was looking like he wanted to murder Dryth.

She saw the idiot knight open his mouth, probably about to say something stupid again so she cut him off.

"Dryth out!" she pointed to the shattered door. Dryth started to protest but she ignored his spluttering "In fact…" she looked around the room "…everybody out! Leon, Percival, Gaius you can stay."

"Mother?" Art questioned from beside her

"Yes, honey you can stay too. I'm sure your Uncle Merlin has some questions" his blue eyes filled with joy and Gwen smiled.

As everyone filed out of the room they bade their Queen farewell casting more than one suspicious looked at Merlin.

Merlin met their gazes with one of satisfaction and said to Gwen as his eyes flashed again "Someone certainly stepped up to being Queen," his magic reconstructed several more chairs. Gwen smiled sadly as she sat in one of them prompting the others to do the same. She saw Percival assisting the aged Gaius into his chair. She noticed that while Gaius' eyes were never leaving Merlin face, Merlins were meeting no one's but hers.

"It's not like there was much of a choice," she said in response.

It was Merlin's turn to smile sadly, "No, I suppose there wasn't."

Everyone seemed content to spend the next few moments in silence, drinking in the sight of each other, though Merlin seemed to be trying not the make eye contact with anyone. Even Art, standing just behind Gwen's chair was unusually silent. A glance showed her son staring intently at Merlin with his serious blue eyes, his expression prompting a small smile from the Queen.

Art had grown up hearing the great stories of his father, Merlin being prominent character in them, with both men thought to have perished in the battle of Camlann. But now, here stood Merlin. One of the heroes of his childhood standing right in front of him, and with magic no less.

Magic, Gwen suddenly realised, if Merlin had magic maybe he could help Art…

Hope bloomed inside her chest along with the nagging question… had Arthur known about Merlin's magic? He'd never liked hiding things from her, but maybe… he might have for Merlin's sake.

"Why haven't you asked me yet?" Merlin's weary voice seemed to echo in the silence.

"Asked you what?" Gwen queried

"I know you're thinking about him."

"Who?"

"Gwen I watched you think about Arthur for who knows how many years. I know when he is on your mind."

Leon smirked and Gaius' eyes lit a little more at the wry statement.

Merlin took a shaky breath "I know I seem to have come back from the dead but-"

"I know he is not coming back Merlin," Gwen said gently suddenly understanding his hesitation "I felt his passing. I know Arthur's not coming home. Not yet. Not for a long time" she stared out the window thoughtfully, noting with mild surprise the lightening of the night sky and beginnings of sunrise. It had been a long night.

She shook herself out of her meandering mind, Merlin's eyes snapping to hers once more as she called him "Merlin. It's been ten years… where have you been?"

The warlock said nothing for a moment, simply stared off into the distance seemingly lost in thought. With a start Gwen realised it wasn't thought, but memories.

"Camlann was… harsh," he said softly seemingly still caught in the past.

"It was you… wasn't it Merlin?" Leon's sudden question seemed to bring him back to the present, "the old man on the cliffs?"

Before Merlin could answer, however, Gaius answered with a proud smile "Yes. It was him"

Shocked expressions turned to Gaius this time and Leon was clearly amazed "You knew it was Merlin? You knew he had magic?"

"Of course I knew" Gaius scoffed "How else do you think he survived all those years in Camelot? He wasn't exactly subtle with his power a lot of the time. To this day I still have no idea how he managed to keep his head attached to his shoulders all those years"

"He's right," Merlin admitted with a small shrug, finally giving the old man that familiar smile as if remembering older, happier days "I would be dead 100 times over if it weren't for Gaius."

Gaius' eyes shone at the praise "But why do I have the feeling that things are quite different now?"

A shadow crossed the warlock's face "Because they are" he stood and went to a window looking out over the still smoking ruins of Camelot. It was as if he was trying to pretend they weren't there, as if that would make the story easier to tell.

"Like I said, Camlan was harsh. Arthur- I- Ughh! I don't know how to say it." Gwen saw his hand tighten on the window ledge.

"I couldn't save him. I thought I had beaten the prophecy when I defeated the Saxons and sent Aithusa away but, I didn't find Mordred in time"

"Mordred?" Percival asked

"Mordred. He stabbed him, I arrived too late to prevent it. I knew Arthur's only hope were the Sidhe, from the Lake of Avalon. I tried to take him there to save him. But Morgana slowed us down. By the time I had killed her-"

"I'm sorry" Leon interrupted "You killed Morgana?"

"It was his destiny" Gaius said as if that explained everything.

"Yes, pretty sure I've told you that twice by now" Merlin slowly walked back to the group "But then it was too late. Arthur had passed" he took a shuddering breath and collapsed back into his chair, head in his hands "I didn't know what to do. After six years of having one goal, one destiny. Being told time and time again that I had to protect Arthur, keep him safe, keep him alive. I had failed"

He sat back, fiddling with his cloak "I had nothing left. I- I burned his body…released his spirit in the Lake of Avalon. Then I started running. I ran from my past, from my failures. I ran from Camelot, never looking back. For an entire year I just… drifted. I wandered… lost, without purpose. I travelled to every corner of the land, I even crossed the seas to other lands. But for some reason…" he said grudgingly "I was always pulled back, as is something would not let me leave. No matter how far I went I always returned, but for a year I tried to forget"

Darkness clouded his eyes and Gwen got the impression that what came next hadn't been good.

"Then… for about three years, I was… something happened. Something that I couldn't run from. Couldn't ignore"

"What happened?" Percival queried

"You don't need to know!" Merlin snapped and they all flinched. He took a deep breath "Sorry"

But what worried Gwen was that he didn't very much sound like he was.

"What happened, it woke me up. I realised that I could be doing a lot more. I had all this power, King of the Druids and everything, and for the most part didn't even really know how to use a lot of it. I also realised that I couldn't always rely on my magic. So, again I travelled"

"I travelled everywhere I could go, but this time I wasn't wandering… I was seeking. I sought out every magic user of import in the lands and I got them to teach me. Sorcerers, warlocks, trolls, pixies, the Sidhe, witches, mages, seers and the Catha priests, any who could give me knowledge. I also visited every blacksmith, king and army I could, and I studied their crafts. I learnt of steel craft, weapons, war and politics. Again I crossed the seas finding teachers where I could."

"I learnt and learnt and learnt. I learnt everything I could. And after about two years, to my surprise I found that there was little left for me to learn. People had even started to seek me out as a teacher. But also, again I was pulled back and for some reason it was impossible for me to leave. No matter how hard I tried to run from Camelot I was always reeled back in. So, I settled in a small town, or near a small town. Ameldry was suspicious at first but after I drove away some bandits, healed some of their children and saved them from some famines, they accepted me. And of course it wasn't long before people started telling stories about the 'Benevolent Sorcerer' of Ameldry and I started having hordes of people come to me for aid every day. And I've been there ever since."

Silence reigned as Merlin came to the end of his tale, everyone digesting what he'd said and coming to term with his story.

"So for the past ten years…" Gwen started uncertainly "…you've been-"

"Don't sugar coat it Gwen" Gaius interrupted with uncharacteristic steel in his voice "For the past decade Merlin you've been beating yourself up about Arthur's death. Something that you had almost no control over and not a single person on this earth could have done any better than you did?"

Merlin just stared at Gaius, no denial but a kind of reluctant acceptance of the statement.

"Merlin," Gwen said kindly "You know it wasn't your fault right?"

But Merlin just shook his head sadly "It doesn't matter what I think. Like I said before, I can't stay"

"But Merlin" Leon and Percival protested "The Sor-"

"If you need me I will come. But I must return to Ameldry. I made a promise and there are people there that need me"

Gwen tried again "Merlin, please-"

She broke off mid-sentence as a commotion was heard outside of the throne room doors. She, like everyone else, turned just in time to see the throne room doors burst open once more.

"I'm sorry my Queen" the guard at the door stammered "We tried to stop her, but she said she had to see-"

"Emrys!" Gwen turned in bewilderment to the girl who had barged in, she looked about Art's age. And she looked scared, her brown hair mussed, and her green eyes filled with tears. She was covered in ash and splattered with blood.

And she was looking only to Merlin, who was staring at her in horror. No, not at her, but what she was holding in her out-stretched hand.

"No" Merlin breathed, staring at the small sphere that the girl clutched, the sphere that was glowing with a steady bright light.

So that's that. Apologies again for my lateness but I make zero promises for the future.

I ;)