Happy New Year everyone! As expected, this chapter didn't take nearly as long to edit as the last one did, haha. Though the chapter length honestly ended up longer than expected, being just shy of 9k. Still considerable shorter than the 12-13k of the last two chapters though, heh.
Thank you as always for joining me for this chapter, oddvector! And we even had a couple visits from our friend Darkblaw! Thank you for tuning in as well!
Also, as suggested by both oddvector and Darkblaw, there is a warning for nonconsensual handholding this chapter :(
Scale 5: All Burned Out
It took Rindo a moment to realize that he was back into that timeless space again. His heart and body were finally cooling down to a reasonable temperature, and his skin and insides had stopped crackling and crawling with that awful static feeling. Though he still felt…drained, in a way?
Rindo just floated there for a while, not wanting to think about anything. Sadly, not thinking about stuff was never something he was good at.
Another loop...But looping only made things worse. Whenever he went back, Fret would have no future. But if Rindo simply…stopped existing, then Fret would be inconsolable without him. That last loop had made that clear.
Was there any future where Fret wouldn't be miserable? Rindo just wanted Fret to be happy.
Maybe Rindo should just stay in this place forever instead. He couldn't hurt anyone here, right? Fret would be okay if he just stayed here. That was better than Fret himself getting killed, or seeing Rindo die instead. Not that Rindo wanted to be consumed by his own Inner Noise, but here…
Wait, maybe he wouldn't even have to worry about his Inner Noise growing at all. This was a place outside of time or something, right?
He tested his theory. He checked his phone. 13:01. Okay. Then he aimlessly meandered in the green-and-white void, glanced through all the receipts neatly folded in his pockets, and even picked a few loose strings off his pants. He checked his phone again.
13:01.
And Rindo didn't feel any different.
Okay. Maybe this would work. At least for now. As long as he remained here, he literally had all the time he could ever want to think of something. And if somehow infinity wasn't enough time to come up with a plan...Well, maybe he deserved to stay here forever if he was that stupid.
Or, well, maybe he just needed some time to breathe and decompress without the looming threat of his Inner Noise. His anxiety still pounded in his chest, even if the fire of singing had simmered away for now.
At least Rindo had his phone with him. Even if he didn't have internet here in this chasm, he still had enough stuff downloaded on his phone to keep him occupied for a while. Flappy Bird was just as infinite as this void, probably.
Rindo's theory about unmoving time was soon confirmed when several of his free-to-play games became utterly useless. They all sat there, waiting for twenty minutes that would never come. He also confirm that there were, in fact, no secret super-rare creatures floating out of bounds of his timeline. Bummer.
But hey, there were still plenty of other things for him to do. Like finally reading those books he had stored on his phone. Or deleting all those old contacts in his phone that he hadn't talked to in years, including some people that he hadn't seen since elementary school. Which left his mom, his dad, Swallow, and...Fret.
He wasn't ready to think about Fret yet.
Okay, what else? Clean out every single one of his unread emails, delete a bunch of apps he wasn't using, set an individual ringtone and text alert for all his contacts, including...Fret...And Rindo had kept the same default background on his phone ever since he got it, so maybe it was finally time to go into his pictures and...
...Oh, right...
Fret pictures. Everywhere. Mostly stuff that Fret sent him, from shopping trips and such. Though there were a few pictures that they had taken together with Rindo's phone. A bunch of memes from Fret too, with some memes that Rindo had found and saved specifically to show Fret.
He missed Fret. But he needed to think of some kind of plan, or he would only end up missing Fret permanently instead.
What was Fret doing right now? Just walking around with an oblivious Rindo by his side? Would that just lead to that horrible first version of the timeline, with neither that Rindo or that Fret understanding what was happening or why?
Or was Fret even able to do anything right now? Or was Rindo's timeline, and Fret, frozen in place like ice sculptures until he finally came back?
Rindo hadn't really thought about it before and hated that the idea had occurred to him in the first place. Was Fret stuck until Rindo did something? That wasn't much better than...
He missed Fret. Rindo's chest felt cold without the heat of his changing, writhing Soul.
Rindo's gaze lingered on Fret's pictures as he swiped through them over and over. Lingered on his long strings of texts as he read them over and over.
He missed Fret.
He...He just had to avoid getting into fights and syncing with Fret, right? Then everything should be fine, right? That should be more than doable, right? Right, and he even had a pen this time! So all he had to do…
He jumped back to the start of the day. Well, not right at the start of the day, because frankly he didn't want to see another vision. Not if it would only prove that his efforts were in vain. If…If it all collapsed into failure, he'd rather only experience that failure once.
So he jumped back to 10:02 instead. He never realized that time had a distinct feeling. Not until he had plunged back in after soaking in that timeless void for who knew how long. The rush of blood, the rush of Soul, the rush of heat deep in his chest...
...Wait, that last one was a bad thing, wasn't it? But it felt so nice, especially after being cold for so long.
"Rindude? Earth to Rindo."
Speaking of nice things, there was Fret, giving Rindo a curious look. Rindo smiled. "Hey buddy."
Fret raised an eyebrow at the warm greeting. "Uh, hi, that's my line, buddy?" A pause. "You doing okay, Rindo? You're acting kinda spacey and...weird?"
"Yeah...Yeah, I'm good," said Rindo. Everything was good now that he could be with Fret. "Just a little sleepy."
"Sleepy? But the day's just started, dude," said Fret. "Though I dunno if we're exactly sleeping normally with all this Game stuff? But I don't feel tired or anything?"
"That's good," said Rindo, and he meant it. A Fret that was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and not obsessed with sacrificing himself for Rindo was a healthy Fret. And to make sure that he stayed a healthy Fret—
Fret yelped as Rindo snatched his wrist and pulled him forward. "Whoa! W-What're you—"
Rindo plucked the pen out of his pocket, yanked the cap off with his teeth, and then blankly stared at Fret's bare hand. Crap, what exactly was the pattern Minamimoto had drawn before, all those cycles ago? Rindo had better make sure that he got it right if he wanted it to work! Dammit, the one time Rindo didn't jot something down on his phone!
Rindo spat out the cap, put the pen between his teeth, and balanced his phone on the back of Fret's hand before furiously typing "OR symbol" into Moogle.
Why were there so many OR symbols? And why couldn't he find Minamimoto's OR symbol in any of these lists?
"Um…" Fret's arm stayed frozen in Rindo's grasp, perhaps afraid of squirming too much and making the phone drop. "W-Whatcha doing, buddy?"
Oh, right, Rindo should actually explain things. "I'm looking up the symbol to protect us from the sync." Though he didn't know if anything he said was intelligible through the pen clamped between his teeth.
"Kweh?"
Okay…Okay, so all those OR symbols meant the same thing in the end, right? So it shouldn't have mattered which one he used. Probably. The || one looked the closest and was also the most common example, so if he just drew a circle around that…
Rindo shoved his phone back into his pocket, grabbed the pen from his mouth, and finally drew on Fret's hand. First the ||, and then a circle around it, so that it kinda looked like a power socket. Okay, that definitely wasn't exactly what Minamimoto had scribbled before, but it should be close enough, right? A circle to isolate them and prevent any unwanted connections, and two parallel lines side-by-side, even if the thought of them only being side-by-side made Rindo's heart clench…
Rindo squinted at the sigil on Fret's hand and almost had the urge to erase it. What the hell? Why would he…No, that had to be the Inner Noise talking. Instead, after some effort, Rindo finally relaxed enough to let go of Fret's hand. Now Rindo could draw a matching signal on his own.
Fret rubbed his wrist as he inspected the drawing on his hand. "Dude, what's gotten into you? What is this thing?"
"A sigil to protect us," said Rindo. "It's a thing Minamimoto showed me a while back."
"Really? Huh," said Fret. "Wait, since when were you so buddy-buddy with Mr. Minami? He never showed me how to do any magic math doodles."
Why was Fret jealous of Minamimoto not spending time with him? And why was Rindo jealous of Fret being jealous about Minamimoto? And why—
Okay, this was just getting stupid. Shut up dumb Raven Noise.
"Well, whatever I guess." Fret, still sounding a bit sulky, looked himself over. "I don't feel any different though?"
"Well, I mean, it only works in battle."
"Oh. Well in that case—" Fret closed his eyes.
"What're you—" Then Rindo noticed all the Noise symbols starting to gravitate toward them. "Fret, what're you doing?"
Fret yelped as Rindo yanked him forward, breaking him out of his scanning concentration. "W-What? If this sigil stuff is supposed to help us in battle, then we should test it with a battle, right?"
"Fret, this is a last resort in case we get into battle," hissed Rindo through gritted teeth. "We need to avoid battles as much as we can, got it?"
"Okay, okay, I get it! Chill out, dude!" Fret's panicked anger cooled off to something more concerned as Rindo stared past him. "Dude, what's wrong? Why're you so high-strung today?"
What was wrong? The Noise were still coming, even though Fret had stopped scanning!
"Move!" Rindo seized Fret's arm and dragged him along as he ran.
Why were the Noise still coming though? Usually the Noise floated away as soon as they stopped scanning an area. Even when Rindo had felt almost compelled to call them, all the way back in the first cycle, he had still needed to keep scanning to draw them in.
Compelled…Compelled by his own irate Inner Noise, probably. Was it calling out to these chump Noise then? Without Rindo's permission? Had it become that strong?
Rindo's heart burned and his muscles burned more, and already he was breathless and slowing down. Soon he was hunched over panting. But the Noise were still coming.
"Rindo? You…You ain't looking so good."
Rindo tried standing up straight, only to feel dizzy and sink down to his knees instead.
"W-Whoa! Shit, I didn't realize you were so—"
The Noise symbols swarmed in from all sides.
"Uh…Guess we'll see how well these doodles really work. But don't worry, I'll—"
They got transported to the Noise dimension before Fret could finish.
And a torrent of Soul gushed into Rindo.
…No.
Fret abruptly flashed with the Soul burst from a level-up. Rindo could keenly sense Fret's bewilderment and even slight apprehension at the sudden uncalled-for joy in his Soul.
No, Rindo had known the anti-sync sigil wouldn't work. Because it wasn't exactly Minamimoto's. Why had he even bothered trying with a different one of his own?
And Rindo could feel as much as hear Fret laughing, the delight drowning out the rest of his natural feelings. But he could also hear the almost delirious helplessness in that overwhelming mirth.
The flood of sync energy almost drowned out Rindo's own feeling of exhausted dread as well. That flow of power into him helped to lighten his deep fatigue and crushing anxiety. He...He wasn't alone...
Then, Fret's overwhelming joy and love shifted to rising concern as he looked over to Rindo. "You're really not feeling good, are ya buddy?" The sudden jump in volume as Fret teleported over to Rindo's side was almost funny. He crouched down next to Rindo, one arm wrapped around Rindo's shoulders, the other outstretched and already charging an energy blast. "Don't worry, I'll protect you!" The rapid-fire Force Rounds were so bright and loud this close up that it made Rindo wince. But Fret was so warm...
But the Noise still outnumbered them, and Rindo still felt weak even with the fresh Soul flowing into him.
Fret meanwhile panted a little as he waited for his pin to recharge. "Is…Is this still not enough? Do you still need more, Rindo? 'Cause I…" Fret teleported away with Rindo when some frogs got too close. "Do we…need to get super synced or something? Like, past 100%? Is that even a thing?"
Oh Fret, you have no idea, thought Rindo, even as he leaned onto Fret a little. Truthfully Rindo could probably stand up and fight now, but...
Fret grinned impishly. "And I bet I know just how to do that!" He closed his eyes, pulling Rindo to his chest. "This is to go even further beyond~!"
"W-Wait...What are you..."
Rindo felt his anxiety drain away, getting displaced elsewhere. Oh, it was that emotion siphon thing that Fret did sometimes, just...stronger? More focused, maybe. Trying to soak up and store away all the bad feelings he could, including fatigue and pain. While also trying to channel more energy and positive feelings into Rindo.
"I…I-I love you, Rindo..." murmured Fret, stuttering out of strain rather than nervousness, and Rindo could feel Fret's Soul…curling around his own? Weaving into his own, or at least trying to?
Oh, oh this felt weird. Not bad exactly, though it was kinda hard to feel bad about anything when Fret kept drawing those feelings away. Warm, very warm all over, a much more pleasant heat than the scorching clutch of his Inner Noise. Maybe because it had another Soul to feast on besides his own? Not so different from what happened during that very first singing actually, when Fret had been trying to drain his anxiety and sickness away…
So warm that he could happily snuggle against Fret and doze off, as their Souls swirled and swirled together until he couldn't tell them apart…Becoming one Soul…
...Wait, was this...was this singing? Or at least some attempt at singing? Fret didn't even know what singing was in this timeline though.
Whatever it was, it wasn't sustainable. Not when Fret was leaving no energy for himself. The peculiar feeling soon unraveled, though Rindo did feel more energized.
"Whew…There, did that help? Though, uh, I don't really know what I even did?" Fret leaned against Rindo a little. "I just wanted...to keep you as close as possible? Like, really close?"
Did it help? It was hard to say. Rindo technically felt better, but the center of his chest only burned hotter. It was...what he needed, what he wanted, but it wasn't enough. That ravenous Noise in him wanted it all, not just a generous offering. Just like Minamimoto had said in another timeline...
Speaking of the mathematician or math artist or whatever he wanted to call himself, Minamimoto suddenly swooped in and dispatched three raven Noise with a flying kick. He cast a withering glare at the sight of Rindo and Fret huddled together. "Zeptogram No. 1! 4-2-1! Cut the sync! Divide or be divided!"
"What? No!" Fret barked back, before launching more psychic shots at a wolf Noise. "Rindo's sick! I can't just leave him! He needs all the energy he can get!" He squinted at Minamimoto. "We could sure use your energy, actually! Why aren't you synced up?"
"Because the only solution to the 4-2-1 equation is the full integration of another Soul!" growled Minamimoto, punting one frog into another and erasing both. "Fractions will get you nowhere. 4-2-1 wants the whole number!" He snatched a wolf Noise by the tail and beat a grizzly with it until they both disintegrated.
"But what does any of that mean?" Fret snapped. With a final flurry of ethereal bullets he downed the final raven Noise, before he slumped more against Rindo.
Already Rindo could feel the Noise dimension start to fade away and his connection begin to waver. No, all he wanted was to stay connected…
But the sync severed as cleanly as ever once they returned to the UG.
And maybe Fret missed that Soul bond too, because he didn't pull away from Rindo.
Rindo hated how the lack of sync meant that he couldn't be 100% sure on Fret's feelings.
"Get up." And Minamimoto remained as disconnected to them as ever.
Okay, fair, Rindo could definitely do that after that deluge of Soul. He and Fret rose to their feet, with Fret offering a little extra help that Rindo may or may not have needed.
Minamimoto's arms lunged out and latched onto both Rindo's and Fret's wrists. His eyes narrowed as he studied the drawings on their hands. "Just what the helix were you trying to do behind my back? Did you want to get crunched by the 4-2-1?"
"Uh, I dunno what 4-2-1 is, but Rindo drew these, uh, signals to protect us in battle, right buddy?" Fret frowned. "Though, um, I dunno how much they actually helped?"
"These sigils," Minamimoto growled, letting go of Rindo's wrist so he could pull out a pen, "enhance the flow of Soul by the factor of Euler's constant. Which is the inverse of what you want if you're trying to prevent 4-2-1." He furiously scribbled over the sigil on Fret's hand, before doing the same to Rindo's.
Dammit. "I was trying to cut off the sync with an OR symbol, but I couldn't find the exact symbol you showed me before. So I tried using a different OR symbol, thinking it would be the same, but…"
"Zeptogram No. 2."
"But I knew that probably wouldn't work! Sorry, I should've checked with you first and—"
"Zeptogram," Minamimoto snapped. "Firstly: the mathematical symbol I use for sync sealing is the XOR symbol, not a simple OR symbol."
"I see…" Not that it mattered much at this point. Rindo and Fret had already synced. And…And he was already feeling sickly. He would start singing before 12:00 guaranteed. So that meant he could jump back…one more time? Maybe? "...Thanks."
"Secondly," Minamimoto continued, rudely, as if Rindo had interrupted him with a long tirade. "Who gives a digit which exact symbol you used? Doesn't make a difference for a sigil."
"Huh?" asked Rindo. "What do you mean?"
"It's the intention of the artist that gives the sigils power," Minamimoto explained. "Much like how pins are empty circuits until your Imagination fills them and shapes the psych they produce."
"Wait, that's how pins work?" asked Fret.
"So, wait, my sigil failed, not because I drew it wrong, but because I…didn't believe in it hard enough?" asked Rindo.
Fret swung an arm around Rindo. "Aww, you gotta believe in yourself more buddy!" he said with a sunny smile. "After all, I always believe in you Rindude!"
…Oh, hearing those sweet words hurt so bad for so many reasons.
"It failed," Minamimoto snarled, "because you did not intend to stop the sync, Zeptogram No. 2."
"W-What? But I—"
"It's a simple equation, you hollow-skulled hectopascal. If you intended to stop the sync, even the most unaesthetic drawing would have solved the problem. If you didn't have enough Imagination or willpower for the algorithm, the effects would have amounted to zero. But it did have an effect, to boost the sync, because that's what you wanted, zeptogram."
"That's…" That couldn't be right, though. He had spent all these loops trying to fight the singing, to do whatever he could to keep Fret safe, to keep Fret happy…
But his heart hurt all the time, unless Rindo was in direct contact with Fret's body or Soul. Because he loved Fret so much. Because Fret was everything he needed and more. Because Rindo wanted to be more than just his weak, incomplete self.
…Shit, maybe he did want to sing with Fret. Because even now, with Fret right beside him, with one arm draped over Rindo, Fret felt too far away. And Rindo had trouble remembering, much less imagining, a whole life where Fret wasn't his constant companion. But that was inevitable, wasn't it? They went to the same class, but Fret had a different home, different friends and family…
…But that was just life. That was how it should be. Fret should have his own life and friends and family and feelings and Rindo had no right to—
But maybe Fret missed him too, or maybe Rindo just looked too sad, because Fret tugged Rindo into a snug hug. "Aww, it's alright, buddy. I know you wouldn't screw up on purpose. And I mean, if you're sick, then you probably needed the extra Soul boost anyway."
Rindo quietly accepted the embrace.
"Zeptogram No. 1, 4-2-1 doesn't—"
"Hey, can we continue this after we get something to eat?" interrupted Fret. "I think some food'll help Rindo feel a little better."
Rindo knew it wouldn't, but sitting down for a while would help his strength last a little longer. Even with all the Soul he had gorged on, just standing here made Rindo feel tired and achy.
"Hmph. Fine. Zeptograms, converge at SBY BBQ! We'll go over the 4-2-1 formula."
Oh boy, time to hear Minamimoto go on about 4-2-1 again. Maybe Rindo could sneak a nap in.
"Sounds like a plan, Mina-man!" Still his arms lingered around Rindo a little longer, like he was just as reluctant to end the hug as Rindo was. "C'mon, let's go, Rindude." He finally released Rindo, though he took his hand without asking. As if it were simply a thing they always did.
But yeah, let Minamimoto talk, answer any of Fret's questions afterward, and...then what? With Fret possibly trying to sing Rindo himself that last fight…That meant that Fret was more than willing to sing with him this time, right? Perhaps he would even be happy to sing with him. Maybe?
No, Rindo knew better. Fret was being tricked into these feelings by those Fret-like fragments mixed into Rindo's Soul. And now even more of Fret's Soul pulsed through Rindo, soon to be assimilated and maddened by Rindo's own desires. Especially the way that Fret had tried to…
"Hey Fret, what is that thing you do?" asked Rindo. "You know, that thing where you're absorbing emotions from me or whatever."
"Oh, that thing? I just lean into the sync more so I can draw them away better."
"Huh? What does ' leaning into the sync' mean? And how do you do that?"
"Uh…Guess I never really thought about how it actually works?" Fret laughed a little, rubbing the back of his head. "It's kinda like…I focus more on your emotions than mine? And that allows me to, like, pull them more into myself? So I try to focus more on the bad things you're feeling, store them where I put my own bad feelings, and then use all that negativity to fuel my attacks." He winked. "So it's not like I'm just bottling everything up, since the attacks give me an outlet for it!"
"I see. Huh." That was good to know for…Wait, what was Rindo talking about? He shouldn't be syncing with Fret period, much less robbing him of even more Soul, negative or not.
And even though he had robbed Fret of that Soul, that stolen energy faded so fast as Rindo followed Fret to SBY BBQ. He was glad that Fret held onto his hand so Rindo didn't have to concentrate too hard on where he was going. He didn't quite have the courage to look directly at Fret's face, though. Whether Fret's expression held happiness or worry, or some heartbreaking mix of both...Rindo couldn't handle that right now.
Rindo couldn't handle any of this period. What was his plan? What should he do?
He plopped down at the nearest booth. After groaning and rubbing his sore temples, he rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes. He tucked his arms into his opposite sleeves, shivering a little. Cold...Even though his head and torso were flooding with heat...Ha ha, very funny, a fever already…
Rindo heard someone shuffle next to him, their side pressing against his own. A hand cupped Rindo's brow as his teeth chattered. "Rindo...Still feeling pretty bad, huh?"
"Uh-huh..." Rindo responded without even opening his eyes.
Fret shuffled around a little next to him, before draping something thin over Rindo's shoulders. Must have been his vest. It was the only coat-like thing he could have taken off and covered Rindo with. "That better?"
"A little, yeah." Rindo would take any extra warmth from Fret he could get.
"But still feeling cold?" Fret started rubbing his back.
That felt really good, so good that Rindo felt his wings tremble somewhere between the muscle and the skin. Did Fret notice it? He didn't seem to. Probably because Rindo had a hoodie and a coat and a vest on. "Thanks..."
"No problem, buddy," said Fret. "Man, I don't get it though. We're already dead, right? So dead people get sick too? Man, that sucks."
"Mmm..." Rindo hummed drowsily. Of course he couldn't stay like this forever, or his Soul would start to pop and broil like a fried egg. But this...this was nice for now...
"Man, I don't even know how to treat a regular fever, much less a...spirit fever? Like, is there a Reaper doctor we have to go to or something?"
"Don't...Don't worry about it..." Because there was no cure for this. He knew that. "...Be okay..."
Fret stopped rubbing Rindo's back—a shame, Rindo wanted a little more—and started lightly petting his hair instead. "Yeah. I'm sure you'll feel better once you get some food in you. We could even share a meal if you wanna." His voice was soft, almost gentle, and Rindo could feel Fret's breath on his cheek.
"Mmhmm..." Even closer to the truth than he...Wait, no...
The petting stopped rather abruptly, as Fret scooted away just slightly. "S-So after a snooze and some chow I'm sure you'll be good to go!" Was it just Rindo, or did Fret sound unusually chipper all of a sudden? "And if not...Actually, we should just forget the mission today anyway! You should take it easy!"
"Mmm..." Rindo cracked his eyes open. The empty air between him and Fret bothered him. "Sounds good, yeah..." He sat up, tucked himself against Fret's side, rested his head on Fret's shoulder, and closed his eyes again.
"O-Oh! Uh..." Oh, now Fret was feeling bashful, huh? He squirmed, but only a little. "Uh, i-if you're more comfy this way, then..." He seemed to forget whatever else he was going to say. He let out a content sigh as he wrapped his arms around Rindo.
Yes, just like this. If Rindo could stay just like this...
At some point the waiter came. Rindo drowsily let Fret order for him. Fret would know what he wanted. Yeah, Fret always knew what he wanted.
And right now, what Rindo wanted was...
"I love you," Fret murmured, laying his head on top of Rindo's. "When I said that during the sync, I meant it."
"I could tell," Rindo murmured back. "We were synced, after all,"
"...Oh yeah." Fret giggled nervously.
"Anyway, love you too."
Fret stopped breathing for a few moments, followed up by even giddier laughter. "Rindude, did you really just…" A pause. "...Wanna date?" Another pause. "Maybe I should've said that before the 'love you' thing. Hehe..."
"Sure."
"...On the date? Or me saying stuff in the wrong order?"
"Both."
"Fair."
"So can I just…stay here for a little bit?" asked Rindo.
"Sure thing, buddy. I'm not going anywhere."
After that. Rindo might have dozed off as he rested against Fret's side. Rindo wasn't sure though, with all the hot heavy fog in his mind. All sounds and sensations melted into an indistinguishable soup. With enough time, maybe he would dissolve in that soup too, and nothing would matter anymore.
Growling...no, snoring. Seems Fret was dozing off too. Yeah, that last battle must have taken a lot out of him. Or maybe he was just that relaxed with Rindo.
Then Rindo's phone buzzed in his pocket. Huh? Oh, right, he had set it on silent last loop since Swallow had that big freakout. He groaned, sat up, and fished out his phone. Sure enough, there was Swallow's icon, though his sight was a little too bleary for him to read what they had sent.
Fret's chin hooked onto Rindo's shoulder. "Whozzat? That Swallow person again?" Fret's arms wrapped around Rindo, not to hug him, but to type onto his phone. "Aww, but what about me? Your boyfriend?"
Rindo squinted until he could just barely make out what Fret had typed.
"me and my rindude sleeping together, brb"
"Dude, what're you doing?" Rindo growled, trying to swat Fret from his phone. But Fret had already sent the text.
"C'mon, you need rest, right? You won't get any shuteye if somebody's constantly texting you. We all know how that goes." But the way Fret grinned and winked at him suggested other, more jealous motives.
Rindo's phone dinged again, and this time Rindo had a chance to read the reply. "wtf why are you on rindragon's phone, loser? gtfo."
Fret squinted at the phone with a disapproving pout. "Rude." He answered with his own text. "wow, somebody's jealous~"
"Fret—"
Another ding. "oh yeah i'm sooo jealous of your galaxy brain. sure. now can i talk to rindragon?"
Rindo finally got hold of his own phone again. "be nice u 2"
"Okaaaaay," said Fret, though his smile still looked mischievous. Rindo let Fret type on the phone, though Rindo guarded the Send button with his thumb. "Hiiiii Rindo's friend :3"
Deeming it nice enough, Rindo sent the message.
Another ding. "hi rindragon. hi rindragon's doxxing friend."
Rindo blinked. Then re-read Fret's message. Oh. He had been concentrating so hard on making sure it was nice that he didn't even think about Fret using his real life name in it.
"Oh, hehe, whoops." Apparently Fret hadn't thought about that earlier.
"Zeptograms! The fractal are you two doing?"
Both boys jolted up at Minamimoto's bark. Though a moment later Rindo sank back down onto Fret's shoulder, feeling dizzy again. This restless feeling in his Soul...Not quite static popping, but...He would need to leave soon. And then he would need to…
Right. Swallow. "brb, about to get food." It would be true soon enough, and that should be vague enough to not have them…panic? Or whatever had happened last cycle.
"okay. don't let your friend eat it all. :) later."
"Hey, Mr. Minami," said Fret cheerfully. "You were out for a while, huh! I ordered the roasted tuna like you told me to! Should be here aaaaany minute now."
Minamimoto had impeccable timing: the waiter showed up right as Fret was finishing talking. Maybe he'd used his math mumbo jumbo to figure out exactly when to come back.
Wait, come back? Where had he been? With her? Well, it didn't matter right now. Maybe it wouldn't matter ever again, since her powers could do nothing to stop his Inner Noise at this point.
"You feel up to eating, Rindude?"
Rindo breathed in the smell of rotisserie chicken, churrasco skewer, and roasted tuna head. After waiting a moment for his eyes to peel open, Rindo sat up and nibbled on some of his meal, followed by a few sips of his drink. He could barely taste them. Then he settled back against Fret's side.
"Rindo..."
"Zeptogram No. 2, 4-2-1 is the inevitable outcome on this trajectory," said Minamimoto, arms folded.
"I know," muttered Rindo.
"Huh? You do?" asked Fret.
"Zeptogram No. 1." Minamimoto pointed directly at Fret. "The probability of you being part of the same equation isn't 1."
"Wait, the probability isn't…myself?" asked Fret. "Because if the probability isn't 1, but I'm Zeptogram No. 1…?"
Minamimoto let out a long-suffering sigh. "The probability isn't 100% guaranteed."
"Ohhhh."
"But," he continued gruffly, "You will be part of the same equation if you don't change your answer."
"How am I supposed to give a right answer when I don't even know what the question is?" asked Fret. "What the hell is 4-2-1? Is that why Rindo's so sick?"
"4-2-1 is a formula of forced integration multiplied by a strange attractor of emotions produced by the unprecedented growth of the harmonic eigenvector."
"Dude, cut it with the math crap and just tell me what that means!" Fret growled.
That earned Fret a look of ire from Minamimoto.
"Hold on, let me explain it in more, uh, basic arithmetic for him," said Rindo. The last thing he felt like dealing with was these two talking past each other for at least an hour. "I've been through a few…iterations of this."
"Ha! Just as I calculated!"
"Sure!" said Fret. "Explain away, my Rindude!"
Nice. Fret's attention back on him. Now if only the topic in question was more…palatable. "Well, you see…"
Rindo couldn't see Fret's expressions, since his head rested on Rindo's. But he could feel Fret's muscles tense and hear his sharp intakes of breath, as Rindo broke down the details of singing for him. Still, Fret wasn't shrinking away from him either.
"...So basically, it means that I'm going Reaper, and have to absorb your Soul to evolve," Rindo murmured.
"...How come you didn't say anything about this earlier?" asked Fret quietly.
"Sorry...I haven't told you about it since I've been trying to prevent this from happening at all." And that had been true in all the loops, hadn't it? Rindo had been trying to hide the whole truth from Fret for as long as he could. "But..."
"Rindo, it's okay," said Fret. "I'll do it. We just need to get into a sync battle like before, right?"
Dear god, Fret just offering himself up without hesitation…
"Because...I dunno, maybe my Soul needs something too?" Fret placed a hand on his chest. "Because ever since that fight, my heart just hurts and hurts, and it...feels kinda hot too?"
Shit, maybe Fret really was starting to sing. If...If that was the case... "Fret, are you...Mr. Minami! Is he...?"
"Is he what?" Minamimoto snapped. "Don't waste my ?-value."
"Is he singing?" Rindo said finally, heart pounding with excitement as much as fear.
"Kweh?"
Minamimoto frowned, narrowing his eyes as he studied Fret. "No, he's not in the 4-2-1 cycle."
Rindo blinked. "Wait, he's not?" Then...Then why was Fret having the same aching hot heart thing? Though Rindo was pretty sure his heart had straight-up dissolved from the heat at some point. The way the torrid feeling had blossomed throughout his chest and slowly seeped into the rest of his body...Especially his back...He sagged forward onto the table again.
"Rindo?"
"...Back hurts..."
"Back hurts?" Fret asked. He started massaging Rindo's shoulders and oh that felt amazing. "Is this a singing thing too?"
"Yeah," Rindo mumbled. "Wings growing in."
"Wings?" repeated Fret. "That...sounds kinda cool, not gonna lie. What kinda wings? Like, angel wings?"
"Hmph. Zeptogram No. 2 doesn't have Angel-class Imagination," said Minamimoto.
"Wait, angels are an actual thing?" asked Fret with wide eyes. "And you're telling me Rindo isn't one of them? Aw man. You're still my angel though, Rindude."
...Goddammit Fret. Rindo would be his Angel of Death at this rate. Rindo could feel his Soul sizzle a little. He...He needed to leave soon. With Fret.
"Focus, zeptograms!" Minamimoto snapped. "Zeptogram No. 1! Is full integration via 4-2-1 what you really want? Factor out the strange attractor!"
Fret rested his head on top of Rindo's again. "...Yeah." He pulled Rindo into a hug from behind, and that warmth felt so soothing against Rindo's sore back. "I wanna be with Rindo and make sure that he'll be okay. That he'll be safe."
The heat nestled deep within Rindo's chest kept rising. Yes, everything would be fine as long as Fret was with him. Fret was safe and warm...
"You want to be more trash for the heap, you tasteless tetrahedron?" Minamimoto snarled. "That function's fractal has no future."
"What are you saying?" Fret growled back.
"I'm saying that if you want to be part of the remainder, then subtract yourself from this strange attractor and come with me," said Minamimoto.
"What, and just leave Rindo to turn into a Noise?" Fret said. "I already said that I'm fine with singing! Why are you getting so riled up about it?"
"4-2-1 is garbage!" Minamimoto slammed his fist into his palm, knocking over some of the uneaten food. "Nothing but an unaesthetic equation to produce obtuse angles! Summing the matrices of both the integrated and the integrator erases the egos of both! All for a zetta boring existence as a hyper-real hectopascal."
"A hecto-huh?" A pause, before he pulled Rindo closer. "You know what, I don't care what it is. Even if it's 'zetta boring', if I can just be with Rindo..."
"Hmph...If you do this, your odds of returning to the RG are zero."
"But Rindo's chances of going back to the RG are zero anyway, right?" said Fret. "And if Rindo can't go back, then I don't want to go back either! I can't just abandon him. Not when he's...No, not ever!"
"You idiotic integrand!" Minamimoto snapped. "Your harmonic eigenvector's been artificially aligned with Zeptogram No. 2's. Your emotions are being plugged into its resonance formula, and the output is trash. Think with logic, not with feelings! Your Imagination's got too much potential to just get crunched into such a derivative system!"
"What, but Rindo doesn't?" Fret said. "Is that why you care about me? Because I've got good numbers or something?" He barked out a laugh. "Of course it is, because everything's numbers with you! I don't know why I expected anything else!" His strangely bitter laugh unnerved Rindo in a way that even the static in his skin failed to do.
Fret...Fret, this isn't like you at all...
Perhaps Fret noticed Rindo's distress, for he started stroking Rindo's hair. "But I don't care about your numbers or my numbers or any numbers..." He buried his face in Rindo's hair. " All I care about is you..."
Oh, how Rindo hated and loved it, this undivided adoration...
"...Waste of my time," muttered Minamimoto. "Hmph...Zeptogram No. 2!"
"Hmm?" Rindo hummed as he opened his eyes.
"Is full integration via 4-2-1 what you really want?" asked Minamimoto. "Factor out the strange attractor!" He pointed towards Fret without ripping his gaze from Rindo. "If the other zeptogram's value is high enough to you, don't let your eigenvector subsume his. Do you really want to crunch him along with yourself?"
What Rindo really wanted...He felt his body lean back against Fret more, desperate for more warmth even as the internal inferno cooked him alive. His wings urged against his skin, eager to break his back open just for more attention and affection from Fret.
"If you're set on that trajectory, fine. Not my problem. But if you're not, there are alternative nontrivial solutions."
Alternative...? Oh, right. That Taboo thing he had mentioned in the previous cycle. Somehow, in the chaos of everything else, it had mostly slipped his mind.
Though...Did Rindo even...He was so sleepy and warm...Inside and out...All he had to do...Fret loved him, Fret was willing, and Rindo...Rindo turned toward Fret so he could tuck his face into Fret's shoulder. "Fret, I…"
"Hey." Fret's voice was so soft. "Hey, it's okay, buddy. It really is. I'll sing with you. I love you."
"Love you too..." Rindo murmured into Fret's shoulder. "Love you so much..." He forced himself to sit up, even though his muscles and Soul screamed at him for it. "But...if I can just...keep you safe..."
Fret hugged Rindo back into place. "I love you."
"Fret..." But Rindo neither had the energy nor the motivation to pull away again.
"I love you, my Rindo," Fret whispered. Rindo could feel Fret starting to pick him up. "Now, let's—"
"Zeptogram No. 1!"
"W-Wha?"
"It's garbage if it's not from free will!" Minamimoto snarled.
Fret opened his mouth, only to close it without a word, looking troubled. He set Rindo back down.
"Now, Zeptogram No. 2, is this what you want?"
Rindo sat up again, and this time Fret didn't stop him. What did he want? Singing? Or..."If...If there's something different I can do...I would like to try that first. And...And if that doesn't work..." He looked at Fret. "...Then we'll sing together. No more excuses. How does that sound?"
"I...Yeah, y'know what, it's worth a shot, right?" said Fret. Though he still looked a little disappointed. "Okay, whatcha got in mind, Mr. Minami?"
Minamimoto grinned, rolled up his sleeve to show off the supernatural tattoo baked into his arm, and started explaining the Taboo like before. Rindo mostly tuned out the stuff he had already heard.
"First: I measure the Soul's calibrations. Second: I make a Taboo sigil to the Soul's specifications. Third: I subtract the whole of that irrational eigenvector—"
"Kweh?"
"Um, basically he has to, uh, take out the bad Noise and make it a not-bad Noise," Rindo explained. Fret didn't, and indeed couldn't, know about how that apparently required Rindo to die for a little bit. "And I guess that I need to get some Taboo tattoos in order to do that?"
"Huh? So we'd stop Rindude from turning into a tattoo monster by getting him a different tattoo?" Fret sounded as skeptical as Rindo felt. "What, do tattoos cancel each other out in the UG or something?"
"The Taboo allows you to control your Inner Noise and shape it into whatever you want," Minamimoto explained, rolling his sleeve back down.
He pulled all the ignored food toward himself. "Every type of Soul has its own code." He yanked the skewer out of the churrasco. "A set of limiters specifically added in by those obtuse angles. All so that everything—Noise—" He stabbed the skewer through the meat again— "—Player—" Now he shoved the chicken wings onto the skewer— "—Reaper—" He stuck the fishhead on the very end, resulting in a disturbing amalgamation of cooked flesh held together by the thin spike. "—plugs all Souls into that Higher Plane algorithm." Then he slammed his fist into the mass of meat so it all got squished together into the fish head.
"Huh. So how does that tie back to singing?" asked Rindo.
"4-2-1 is a key variable, a factor coded into all eigenvectors: if the total value of the eigenvector reaches a set threshold relative to the refinement of its host's Soul, or the amount of Soul dips below a lower bound necessary for survival, start 4-2-1."
"Wait, so singing is programmed into our Noise?" asked Rindo. "But why? How does having people's Souls eat each other help with anything?"
"Because obtuse angles are the sum of many Souls, and those stupid scalenes think this is the only formula life should follow," said Minamimoto, like the very idea offended him. "Trash!" He tore all the meat off the skewer furiously. "Infinite possibilities and forms exist—infinite vectors—yet they only see Souls on a single axis! Garbage!" His scowl was soon replaced by a sneer, as Minamimoto picked up some of the scraps of food and piled them together. "But with the Taboo, we can break into that code and rewrite its equations!" He took the body of the chicken, flipped it over, rended its chest open, and stuffed the fishhead inside, with the meat chunk stripes positioned around the fishhead like a flower, or a mane. "With that kind of power, we can divide out that 4-2-1 before it sums any matrices and zeroes out the individual determinants!"
As he jammed a knife handle-down into the mouth of the fishhead, Minamimoto grinned proudly over his creation.
"Q.E.D.! The chances of 4-2-1 go from 100% to zero!"
"Zero..." Rindo still had trouble believing it. Something that was guaranteed to stop the singing.
Fret's arms squeezed around Rindo. "Okay, but there's gotta be a catch, right? Otherwise everyone would just take the Taboo instead, right?"
"Hmph. Those obtuse angles don't like it because they want 4-2-1 to occur for all radians, because that's the formula that leads to more obtuse angles. So they call it 'Taboo' and 'Anti-Angel' to scare anyone away from plugging themselves into those types of calculations." His wicked grin grew wider. "Because those hollow-skulled hectopascals can't stand the idea of people reverse-engineering and taking control of their own Soul codes."
"So you're gonna hack into Rindo's Soul code and reprogram him?" Fret frowned. "I dunno, man...You good with this, Rindude?"
Admittedly, Rindo wasn't crazy about Minamimoto cracking his Soul open like a chestnut either. But it was either this, Rindo cracking Fret's Soul open like a chestnut, or Rindo's Inner Noise drowning him in the boiling juices of his own Soul. "Yeah. Let's get this over with, Mr. Minami."
Minamimoto grinned again. "Correct answer, Zeptogram No. 2. Now we'll blow through these calibrations. Give me your hand."
"Oh, right," said Rindo, putting his right hand on the table, the one that didn't already have scribbles on it. The coolness of the table felt nice against his hot skin. So Minamimoto was going to draw the anti-sync symbol then?
Instead Minamimoto pressed his pointer finger on top of Rindo's hand. Rindo jumped as a sudden sharp jolt shot through his system. He would have jerked away if Minamimoto's finger didn't keep his hand pinned in place.
"Got the surface topology down." He spun out a dark purple marker from his pocket. "Now, I need to integrate the sealing sigil before we leave this quadrant. To make sure your eigenvector doesn't break the brackets during calibration."
Grabbing Rindo's hand, Minamimoto started scrawling something far more complicated than the anti-sync sigil. Rindo squinted and could barely make out something like a Noise symbol and some very loopy letters, but that was about it.
Fret scooted back against Rindo's side, putting his chin on Rindo's shoulder as he watched. "Hey, why don't we just do this instead of the whole Taboo thing? If this'll seal the Noise, I mean." Rindo felt Fret taking his other hand and tracing aimless patterns on the back. Trying to mimic Minamimoto maybe? Or perhaps he was just jealous again.
"I'm guessing this will only stop it temporarily, right?" asked Rindo.
"Correct," said Minamimoto. "This sigil will freeze its movement and stop it from growing, but the Noise and its 4-2-1 calculations are still there. If you let it take over, it will take over and execute the 4-2-1 function. The independent variable will be your willpower. But with the Taboo, all ability and desire for 4-2-1 will be eradicated."
"I see..." Maybe then Rindo could finally feel normal again. He could be cozy with Fret without wanting to plunge into his chest and rip his Soul out. Because somehow the two of them being pressed together like this still wasn't close enough.
The almost massage-like pressure of the pen finally lifted from the back of Rindo's hand. "Quod erat demonstrandum."
Rindo glanced down at the sigil, a spiral of words and numbers around a bird-like Noise symbol. Rindo didn't feel any different though, aside from the weird sensation of ink seeping into his skin. Not even a twinge of curiosity from his Inner Noise. Maybe it was too focused on Fret being so close and cuddly.
"Preparations are complete," said Minamimoto, still holding onto Rindo's wrist. "And I know just the place to finish the job. Let's go, Zeptogram No. 2!"
"Hey, don't forget about me!" Fret insisted. "I wanna make sure Rindo's okay during all this."
"Can…Can Fret come too?" asked Rindo.
"Hmph. Fine, as long as you don't try to initiate the 4-2-1. I'll divide you two if you do."
"Gotcha," said Fret, an almost threatening edge to his tone. "I'll be good as long as you're good, Mr. Mina—"
Rindo sure wished Minamimoto had given him some kind of warning for the teleport. One moment, sunny SBY BBQ. The next, somewhere dark with blaring music and lights and cheers.
And pain. Icy-hot pain that flared from the sigil on his hand, glowing light-purple. The sensation swiftly shot through his arm and to his chest. Pins and needles, but the cold kind from trudging through the snow too long. A cold, lancing stab deep in his chest, and his fever-ridden heart turned frostbitten.
"...indo!" Fret was crouched down beside him, holding him. Rindo's only source of warmth right now. "Are you okay?"
...No, he wasn't. The frigid power turned the rest of the blood in his body cold and sluggish. Rindo turned toward Fret and curled up tightly against him, shuddering with fear as much as chills. His hand was like a block of ice even after the sigil faded from sight.
"Rindo, buddy, buddy..." Fret held him snug against his chest.
With Fret's voice and warmth as an anchor, Rindo tried to take in his surroundings. Where were they? The sounds echoing up to them, the writhing lights and shadows and people below...a concert? Were they in the rafters of a concert? The rafters of the O-EAST concert hall maybe?
Minamimoto's maniacal laughter pierced even the chaotic din of the show below, and Fret held Rindo a little closer. "Yes, the perfect formula for my latest magnum opus! The rhythms and melodies that shake the heart are as beautiful as a flawless calculation! The zetta perfect reverberation of the Dead Seatbelters!" The fangs in his greedy smile gleamed. "Now, let's start the calibration."
Fret cast down a worried glance at Rindo as he continued to shake. "Uh, I don't know if Rindo's..."
"Hmph, if we waste more ?-value, Zeptogram No. 2 will only decrease the distance between him and 4-2-1," said Minamimoto. "Are you ready, Zeptogram No. 2?"
Rindo managed a nod despite his trembling. "Y-Yeah." Anything to get out of this frightened freezing state. Anything to finally put an end to this ravenous madness.
"Then let's start up this equation," said Minamimoto. "Hold him, Zeptogram No. 1."
Fret gave Minamimoto a puzzled look. "But I am holding him, Mr. Minami."
"Not like that," Minamimoto growled. "Hold him so he doesn't run off the catwalk before the calibration converges."
Fret embraced Rindo tighter.
"And don't get tangent with his skin anywhere, or the associative property will calibrate on you, too."
Fret gave Minamimoto another blank stare.
Minamimoto sighed. "That means no touching bare skin to bare skin, zeptogram."
"Oh! Oh, uh, one sec." Fret brought out his Reaper pin, tapped it, and materialized a previously-bought jacket and gloves to put on. Then Fret embraced Rindo so tight that he could barely breathe, much less flee.
Oh, this was gonna be bad, wasn't it? Rindo drew up his mask around his face. Less skin for Fret to accidentally touch, and to make sure he didn't bite Fret or Minamimoto or something.
"Time to calibrate this sigil at 299,792,458 m/s." He cracked his knuckles.
The tips of Minamimoto's fingers scorched against the bare nape of Rindo's neck. That's all Rindo noticed. At first.
The panic hit before the pain did, as Rindo tried to thrash away. He didn't know what this was, but he didn't want it anymore. Not even Fret's hurried assurances did much to calm Rindo.
Then pain all over, unlike anything Rindo had ever known. The fibers of his muscles were being unraveled by unseen spinning spools. His eardrums hammered with a cacophony of ungodly sounds. His back broke and regrew and broke and regrew in an incessant loop. Why was everything an incessant loop for him? This day again and again, this singing again and again, losing Fret again and again...
He couldn't hear Fret anymore, couldn't even feel his warmth or the pressure of his arms around him. Rindo felt so many indescribable things right now, but more than anything he felt heavy and weak. So much eldritch pain, but he couldn't even sense his body enough to move, much less struggle.
Agonizing. Like that time when she—
No, not like this! Not like this! He couldn't go out alone like—
Poor Rindo just can't catch a break. Well, he did have some cuddle breaks this time but that's not quite the same thing.
The "Moogle" joke is from oddvector's own works. In fact, a lot of the Minamimoto and Taboo canons are from him. If you enjoy the Minamimoto and Taboo stuff you see here, you should go check out his stories too! There's a lot of stuff to choose from, from Minamimoto's anti-Angel schemes to Fret and Nagi friendship hijinks to Rhyme getting to be an edgelord.
If you want more from the Shinjuku side of things, such as Hishima/Shiba fluff, then Darkblaw is your guy! Also more Fret and Nagi friendship!
The part about the pins being empty until Imagination fills them is actually from the NEO spin-off Field Walk RPG. It was a virtual game made to promote Tokyo tourism, of all things, but it has some interesting bits of lore tucked here and there.
Next chapter will probably take a little while, not because there's tons of editing to do, but because I want to finally finish the remaining rough for this fic first.