Jervis: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Crane: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Jervis: *Gets down on one knee*
Crane: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
Jervis: *Falls over*
Crane: The poison is kicking in.
Jervis: Crane! My face is on fire!
Crane: Jervis! Are you ok?!
Jervis: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Crane: But your face is on fire.
Jervis: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.
Jervis: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Crane: I do have a sense of humor you know
Jervis: I've never heard you laugh before
Crane: I've never heard you say anything funny
Jervis: How petty can you get?
Jonathan: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about
Jervis: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Jonathan: Twelve, actually.
Jervis: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Jonathan: Yours!
Jervis: That's right: no one's.
Jervis: Violence isn't the answer.
Jonathan: You're right.
Jervis: *sighs in relief*
Jonathan: Violence is the question.
Jervis: What?
Jonathan, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Jervis, running after It: NO-
Jervis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Jonathan: Killed without hesitation.
Jervis: No.
Jonathan: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things.
Jervis: Hi, I'm 'things'.
Jonathan: Know why I called you in here?
Jervis: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Jonathan: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?
Jonathan: What are you in the mood for?
Jervis: World domination.
Jonathan: That's a bit ambitious.
Jervis: You are my world.
Jonathan: Aww...
Jervis:
Jonathan:
Jervis:
Jonathan: OH.
Jonathan: Jervis, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Jervis, naked in Jonathan's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Jonathan, already taking off their clothes:Fuck... Me neither