"Oh, Hachiman, you want to attend the lecture too?" His mother asked him.
"Well, your section finished their work in record time, so this count as a mid-hour break," Chief said.
Mid-hour break... well, in salaryman terms, it's basically when the workers shouldn't go home yet even though they have nothing important to do.
His group workload today was pretty light. However, with Hachiman's help, they finished in two hours and went home. But Hachiman himself still had two hours on the clock left and no task left after this one.
"I could use a refresher course." Well, that was Hachiman's excuse. But honestly, he wanted to see it unfold.
"Then let's get dinner. I'm starving." His mother told him. "As for the rest of the trainees, you should clean up. And then discuss what you learned today with Ms. Trainer before you go to dinner."
"Komachi-chan, you should go with them!" Mirei whispered at her. "Your Mother rarely comes to visit. Right? This is the first time we meet too."
"It's fine. We're in this together. It would be unfair for Komachi to leave." Komachi brushed her off. "Let's clean up."
Hachiman ended up having dinner with his mother and father in a mid-class restaurant nearby. Hachiman heard from his mother that she made a lot of adjustments to the lecture and training course.
Since Hachiman had a naturally strong personality and stubbornness, his mother's training emphasized expressing himself through words and conversations.
Hachiman did not lack conviction. Not even when he was a quiet and bullied mess in middle school. He was, however, a giant wuss and a pushover.
His mother told him that, even if he was rotten inside and acerbic outside, Hachiman still had to carry those convictions and confidently show them.
Because that was what defined him as a person.
But for people with an identity crisis like Saika or Ryou? Things might be different. First, they have to solidify their foundation of belief, and only then can they start expressing it.
As for Takagi Yuutarou, things get really dicey. In all honesty, Hachiman empathized with him to a degree.
Company President. That was not a position a 16-year-old should bear, no matter how talented they were. Even so, this is the reality they have to live in. Yuutarou could only suck it up unless he rejected the position altogether.
As for Kagura Rei, he was the oddball of the group. He was that quiet yet talented person everyone respected but was not close with. Hachiman is sure he had his own issues, but lacking charisma is not one of them.
"So it was like that, then it's easy."
"Easy, you say..." Hachiman twitched. "Dark age Idols sure have it rough. Really though, was it necessary for you to be this invested?"
"What do you mean, Hachiman?" His father asked.
"Mom bought 765 PRO stock literally today. What the hell?" Hachiman raised his phone. "Is this insider trading?"
"Heh." Sachie grinned. "Just watch."
...
Hachiman's mother borrowed a small conference room in the 346 HQ. Other than Hachiman and his male friends, no one else was there.
The appearance of 3 good-looking girly guys in the Company of female Idols made things a little chaotic. Screams could be heard in every corner as the group passed through.
"Oooh... this feeling isn't bad at all!" Yuutarou mumbled with an uncharacteristically perverted smile. "How many Idols are here anyway?"
Hachiman wanted to tell him he was the stereotypical midget idiot that gets splashed with attention because he follows the cool guys. However, he didn't want to demoralize Yuutarou before the lecture began.
Ultimately, the goal of this program was to make these guys less pathetic. So this little confidence boost is a good thing.
"There's a big crowd behind us," Rei remarked, a bit weirded out. "Is this alright, Professor?"
"It's fine. If these girls make a fuss... I have full authority from Director about what to do. And why are you calling me Professor, Kagura-kun?" Sachie asked him.
"Umm, well. That's what we call our musical tutor." Kagura stiffened from awkwardness. "Is it bad?"
Eh, that was a weird reaction there. Hachiman was sure that his mother deliberately corners him, though.
"No, feel free to call me anything." Sachie smiled as she slapped an impromptu warning sign on the door. "Professor, teacher, or auntie is fine too. Just don't call me by my first name."
Most women don't like being called Auntie, but Hachiman's mother doesn't care about it. She reconciled with her biological age, perhaps even proud of it.
Anyway, the sign read:
[NO LISTENING OR ENTERING WITHOUT PERMISSION. TRESPASSERS GET STRUNG FROM RADIO TOWER.]
Hachiman had the feeling she was not joking. In fact, everyone except Rei froze in response to that threat.
By the way, there IS a radio tower in 346, as the office had its own broadcast station, photography, and drama studios. The Company had a lot of in-house production facilities that might appear expensive. However, they also bring massive revenues that don't need to be shared with third parties.
It's the reason why the slow integration between Idol and other divisions is possible at all.
"Well then, let us begin this lesson." Sachie clapped her hands. "Other than Director, Chief Producer, and Chief Secretary, no one else will know what happens in this room. And I hope you people also keep this a secret from others."
"You boys might think it's excessive, but trust me. This rotten world built on delusion and lies is very cruel. And I, too, can be cruel when people foolishly cross the line."
"Built on delusion and lies..." Yuutarou muttered.
Hachiman wondered why Yuutarou looked so grim when he heard that.
"Before we begin, I'll introduce myself. I'm Hikigaya Sachie, 40 years old. I'm a General Manager of DECO FOREST, working in Public Relations. However, I'm very confident in my assessment and knowledge to become a tutor in this lesson."
Scary. Someone with such a high position is giving Yuutaro a lecture for free? And now, the threat she makes feels so much more real.
Someone this powerful can easily cause problems with a small company like 765 Pro.
"I want you to introduce yourselves and your motive for taking this lesson. There will be no secrets. Otherwise, I will not be able to help." Sachie sat down. "Skip on you, Hachiman."
Saika went first. "My name is Totsuka Saika, 16 years old. My reason to participate is that I want people to acknowledge me as a man worthy to stand beside my girlfriend, Anastasia."
"My name is Akizuki Ryou, 16 years old, a trainee Idol from 315 Pro. The reason why I participate... I want to become a top male Idol and be acknowledged as such."
"My name is Takagi Yuutaro, 16 years old. I'm the Deputy President of 765 Pro. I want to be respected and taken seriously in my job and school."
"My name is Kagura Rei, 16 years old. I'm an aspiring Violinist from a family of Classical Musicians. I want to be able to communicate better with people through both music and conversation."
"I see. So can you tell me your biggest problems overall?"
"People saw me as a girl." Saika didn't mince his words and said it. "Whether it's other boys or the girls... most people are unwilling to see me for what I am."
"I'm the same too." Ryou also said. "Despite my grand reveal in Old Whistle, many people still don't see me as a boy. And no one is willing to employ me as a boy Idol. They only want to see my girl disguise."
"I was seen as incompetent... I guess." Yuutaro seemed to be the only one lacking drive. "Neither my Idols nor the Press believes I can do anything to save the Company."
"To be honest, I'm afraid of public appearances. People said I was blessed with great talent and family support, and yet, I can only feel that both concert staff and audiences look at me coldly." Rei's face darkened slightly. "It means that neither my words nor music comes across and reach their heart."
Of all these people, Rei's issue seemed to be complicated and actually something that can't be taken at face value. Hachiman will especially pay attention to his side... Mother probably can still help him, though.
"Well then, let's begin our lessons." Sachie smiles as she begins drawing on the whiteboard. "So, what makes a man a man? This question may be confusing, but the answer is simple... it really is just a gender identity in the end."
"You guys know Mizushima Saki?"
"The crossdressing Idol?" Hachiman asked. "Well, the OTHER crossdressing Idol, I mean."
"Yes, Mizushima Saki not only crossdress. But he also did not hide the fact and is proud of it. Different from Akizuki... no one pushes him to do it." Sachie explained. "Mizushima Saki is the antithesis of masculinity. Many people don't consider him a man... yet, many others do. Do you know why?"
"Because Mizushima is extremely secure about his sexuality. He doesn't let others decide how to identify himself. Mizushima believes that his hobby did not make him less of a man. Because that's what he feels." Sachie looked at Ryou. "What about you, Akizuki?"
"Not in the slightest." Ryou shook his head in terror. "Every time I wear a girl's dress, it feels comfortable. I know I look good in them. And yet, it feels strangely unnatural."
Sachie nodded. "Because it's something that others force you to do. It's not something you want to do. Your very instinct rebelled against it. Whatever enjoyment you feel, it's nothing but a coping mechanism."
Otherwise, Ryou will collapse mentally.
"Which brings us to two simple concepts." Sachie wrote on the whiteboard: Conviction and confidence.
"These two words will be your keys to reaching your goal... so etch them into every corner of your mind because we're in for a long haul."
The four boys gulped when they saw Sachie's expressions turn mischievous. Hachiman could only say mentally, here we go!
"What is conviction? Conviction is the values you hold, your personal belief, your ideal self, and your life goal. Conviction is something that you get to decide on by yourself."
"However, no one would know your conviction unless you tell them. And sometimes, that alone is not enough. People might think you have a weak conviction. Or straight-up lying, which is where the next part comes."
She points at the word confidence.
"You ever hear people carelessly saying: don't judge the book by its cover? Well, that's wrong. Would people look at a plain book before a flashy book? That very notion is unrealistic. Even a good idea needs a good presentation to convey."
"Confidence is your ability to show people your conviction and carry it despite people holding it against you." Sachie pulled a riding crop and smacked the board multiple times to make the boys focus again. "Confidence means you can tell yourself that you're doing the right thing, no matter what others says."
"And I'll teach you that... the very basic of getting confident, walking on the path to becoming your masculine, ideal self. Now, can you all please stand up? Hachiman can join too."
青春 の輝かしいステージ ひどく明るい感じ
The Shining Stage of Youth feels awfully bright
(Oregairu/Idolmaster - Cinderella Girls)
Original Story by: Watari Wataru/Bandai-Namco
Written by: ZeroXSEED
Chapter 10 - Brothers in arms, part 2
The five of them walked out of their chair and formed a line facing Sachie.
"The most important when you're standing in front of others is your posture." Sachie pulled Hachiman, and unexpectedly Rei, from the crowd and separated them. "Hachiman's posture is perfect, and Kagura-kun is more or less in a good direction. Was it because you play the violin?"
"Umm, perhaps. Posture and poise are important in playing properly, especially in public." Rei nodded awkwardly.
"Indeed, now I'll teach you how to strengthen your posture. And believe it or not, it will absolutely boost your confidence." Sachie pointed excitedly. "A good posture results in less pressure on your spinal column, both on its muscles and nerve system. This will free up a lot of physical and mental strain from your brain."
"Oh!" The four boys chorused.
"So let's begin with step one... the muscle check." Sachie slapped the wall. "Your back and butt must touch the wall. Your neck and head should be 4-5cm from the wall, and your heel must be 12-15cm away. Keep this while making sure your leg didn't bend."
"Huh? Huh?"
Saika and Youtarou looked confused for a second and then tried to measure the distance with their palms behind their neck.
"Oh, so it's like this?" Saika gasped.
Ryou didn't have much problem with it.
"Do a posture check every hour if possible. If not, take a posture check whenever it's possible. This is what you need to do on day one." Sachie told them.
"Just that?" Ryou asks in a somewhat dubious tone.
Well, it's not that easy to do. Especially when you're a school student.
"Absolutely." Hachiman cockily pointed himself. "I can attest to that."
"Developing a good habit isn't easy. You wouldn't believe me how hard it is to make this guy stop slouching." Sachie jabbed at her son, which made Hachiman blush.
"Hey, I'm looking good now, didn't I?"
Saika did remember how awful Hachiman slouched early on. But in the last three months, things began to change. "So it's like that. I'm very sure I'm not the only person who noticed in the class. But you always stand up and rest your back to the wall every time we change the school subjects."
Hachiman would often do a posture check in class. Saika was conscious of these little moments as the only person who paid attention to him.
"Exactly."
"Wouldn't doing that look conspicuous?" Yuutaro questioned.
"It's part of your mental training." Sachie smiled. "Implanting your presence in your classmate's mind is important. But more than that, you should be self-aware and not absent-minded."
"I see." Saika nodded. It seemed simple, yet it wasn't.
For the next 30 minutes, Sachie instructed them. Step by step on exercises that are needed to improve their postures. Roughly one exercise is added per day to make their body adjust properly. They were all relaxing, and they required no tools at all.
Some of these exercises look embarrassing, though. But they only need to do it once every morning and at night. For example, a child's pose should be done starting on day two. On day three, a standing forward fold is added.
"...Yuutarou-kun isn't really flexible, huh?" Ryou laughed a little.
"Leave me alone." Yuutaro pouted.
Is there anything this midget good at? Hachiman wondered if his lack of charisma runs on more problems than his lack of confidence.
...
"Well then, that's your task for the next seven days. We'll meet again in a week. Now, let's go for a mental assessment." Sachie clapped. "Please sit."
"Totsuka-kun and Akizuki-kun."
"Yes."
"I believe this does not need to be said, but you don't have to rush it. It takes time to change your image, and ultimately, both of your issues don't stem from your internal problems. Rather, they're all coming from others' perception of you." Sachie calmly explains.
"The two of you don't lack conviction, knowing the risk and hurdle you're facing, and still putting an effort. We can work things out little by little to change your image in public."
"Thanks, Sensei." Ryou and Saika bowed.
"Kagura... you said you got odd looks from the staff and the audience. But are you sure it wasn't you who judged yourself harshly?"
Rei grimaced. "Eh?"
Kagura Rei might not show it, but Hachiman, too, noticed. Kagura Rei was incredibly self-conscious and also a perfectionist. Even a slight mistake may cause frustration, as seen on his face doing the funny exercises under Sachie's instruction.
"Because you keep thinking you're not good enough... you subconsciously think others feel the same as you."
Ultimately, Kagura Rei's issue was partly paranoia and partly out of his obsessions. Much like Hachiman's ongoing issue, he would assume the worst out of people's actions because he felt insecure about himself.
Only recently, Hachiman started to change. That was why Hachiman had always been curious about what makes people behave in a particular way.
Hachiman wanted to understand them because he was afraid. Afraid of being left in the dark.
"You don't really get along with people of your age, don't you? Do you remember in the past, pushing yourself hard to the point that people told you to slow down?"
"...Yes."
"Not all of them have good intentions judging you by that metric. Some envy you and want you to fail. Also, there's no such thing as hard work being wasted." Sachie patted Rei's shoulder to ease him. "Even so, there's nothing wrong with taking a break every once in a while. Because ultimately, people stop being rational when they push themselves too hard."
"For this reason, I suggest you start Yoga or meditation!" Sachie recommends. "Also, try to talk with more people other than these boys. And don't bring music into a conversation unless someone else brings up the subject. And lastly, start looking people in the face when you talk."
"...Umm, I'll keep that in mind."
Kagura Rei might look cool and composed musical prodigy. But in actuality, he was a sheltered kid who didn't know how to get along with other people.
He resembled Hachiman in the past. Before the bullying and isolation corrupted Hachiman.
"Lastly, Takagi-kun..."
Yuutarou looked almost like he was about to faint any second.
"I'm not going to put this lightly, but your grandfather is a fucking asshole!" Sachie said aloud.
The boys, aside from Hachiman, dropped their jaws in response to Sachie's sudden change. Yuutaro, in particular, couldn't help but feel shocked.
"What was he thinking giving the mantle of Presidency to 16 year old? Tell me, Takagi-kun, are you especially close to your grandfather?"
"No."
"Have you learned how to manage Companies before?"
"Umm, no?"
"He throws you into the seat, expecting things to work fine and dandy, without any preparation whatsoever. Because his old spine can no longer sit straight."
"Mother, aren't you going a little far?" Hachiman protested.
"I'm not done yet. Forget the mental burden on this poor kid." Sachie lovingly made Yuutarou rest on her chest. "Did not he think even once about the fate of his Idols?"
The poor boy turned red in embarrassment.
Well, that's true... also, aren't you spoiling him too much? No, Hachiman isn't jealous or anything!
"Honestly. I'd say you should give up on this." Sachie let the embarrassed and confused boy go. "Now, knowing all these facts, what do you think, Takagi-kun?"
"A... I... but..."
"Take a deep breath," Sachie said. "Remember what I said about conviction and confidence."
Yuutaro forced himself to breathe in and out until he stopped being a nervous wreck.
"If I leave, then what will happen with 765 Pro?" Yuutaro asked. "Is it fine for me to leave?"
"Of course." Sachie's glasses gleamed menacingly. "Ultimately, none of 765 Idols can be considered a bad product. They'll get absorbed by the other companies very quickly."
Sachie wasn't holding back, telling Yuutarou that 765 should be left into bankruptcy. Hachiman wondered why, considering Sachie had invested millions in 765 PRO stock.
It was a test of resolve, Hachiman guessed.
"But the Idols don't want to leave our Company! Because... because... because everyone is like a family." Yuutaro was finally able to give a proper rebuttal. "It hasn't been long since I become Deputy President, but I know this for a fact."
"Sigh. I'll be honest. I am a crappy mother. And I neglected my kids for almost a decade..." Sachie says with a grave tone. "But not even once in my life that I leave my children unprepared."
Ah.
Well, she's not wrong. Sachie taught both Hachiman and Komachi skills to survive as independent children. For example, Komachi might be a better cook than Hachiman. But it was Hachiman who taught her to cook.
Sachie was the person who taught Hachiman to cook. And it was just one thing she taught Hachiman to do.
It was like this three months ago. Sachie devoted her time to preparing both Komachi and Hachiman for them to join 346 PRO.
It does not mean Sachie's abandonment of her duty as a mother was right. Sachie didn't attempt to justify herself in the slightest. However, she was trying to give Yuutaro a perspective.
The definition of handing out responsibility... was not something that can be done haphazardly.
"Stop thinking about what your Grandfather or the Idols wanted, and start thinking about what you want to do the most. What do you want, Takagi Yuutaro?"
"I..."
"I want to support the Idols of 765." Yuutaro weakly smiled. "But as you said, even though I have the nominal power of Presidency, I have neither the skill nor knowledge of how to run the Company. I could only learn through my own failures."
"Then you only have one thing left to do." Sachie pointed her finger at his chest. "Kids do what a kid should do. Start learning the trades. If you go with half-baked thoughts like you want to support them but don't know how... you will end up hurting them."
"But what about the Company-"
"A Company does not run in the hand of one person."
Yuutaro's eyes widened in realization.
"Just think of what you can do for these Idols and let adults take care of the dirty details." Sachie smiled encouragingly.
"I... I don't fully get it. But I can understand a little bit, Sensei!" Yuutaro suddenly looked spirited and slammed the table. "Thank you, Sensei!"
"Well, now that everyone knows what to do, today's masculinity training shall be ended." Sachie clapped again. "See you next week, everyone."
"Thank you for the guidance!" The four boys bowed at her, full of respect.
"Now, Hachiman, kindly escort them outside, please?" Sachie asked Hachiman nicely, which weirded him out.
Hachiman wonders if Sachie's emotional outburst was genuine or manufactured. But Hachiman saw a glimpse of grief in her eyes as she looked away.
Hachiman knows that Sachie feels she has no right to apologize as a mother. Because ultimately, it was pointless to do so. As a family, they can only keep moving forward, slowly getting closer.
Hachiman really thought his father and mother could be total idiots, but... as much as he resents them, he can't bear to hate them at all.
In some way, Hachiman began to understand how his father and mother could climb so high in their career despite starting their life together as a wage slave couple.
"Hikigaya... your mother really is awesome!" Yuutaro told Hachiman. "I mean... I can understand your feeling all too well. My parents left me alone in Japan because my father works in an international company."
"Seriously?" Hachiman squeezed his eyes in disbelief. "Alone? You're amazing, Takagi. I'll probably go insane from that."
Hachiman at least had Komachi with him! Also, his parents are almost always available on weekends!
"Yeah, but you know... putting that aside, you're a cool guy too!" Yutaro told him. "Even though people at Otomejoshi look down on your job, you face them with dignity. And I know 346 PRO Idols had a good impression of you."
"Well, I'm not like you. I don't bite more than what I can chew." Hachiman snarked. "Good luck, President. You'll need it."
Yuutarou twitched. "You're an ass."
"I prefer the term cynical, thank you." Hachiman winked, which made Yuutaro even more furious.
"I'm sure Hachiman wanted to encourage you in his own way, Takagi-san." Saika sheepishly laughed. "I'm unsure if I know the details, but break a leg."
"That's right. We're all fighting together here." Ryou put his hand forward. "Let's huddle!"
Saika put his hand on Ryou's. "Right."
"Ah, screw it." Yuutaro also put his hand on the pile. "Kagura, you too!"
Rei looked at Hachiman, who nudged his head in encouragement. In the end, Rei gave up and joined. His hand was quite sweaty.
"Hachiman, join us!" Saika called him.
"Eh, whatever." Hachiman had no reason to refuse. Not because he was usually excluded from the group huddles. And totally not because it was Saika who asked.
"YOSH!" The five boys throw their hands up at the same time. It was strange to see that in a Company focused on female idols... not that the girls mind, absolutely not at all!
They even take pictures. A lot of pictures...
What a strange brotherhood.