"Do you want to go out today? To explore?" Woo Bin asked over breakfast.

Things have simmered down ever since their conversation yesterday. Trying to act on his words, she agreed to have breakfast with him when he asked. They still ordered room service for everything since she hadn't dared to step out of their hotel suite yet. That might've been why he was urging her to step outside for the day. It wasn't healthy to be holed up all this long. However, it was safe and comfortable. And a big part of her couldn't place her trust in Woo Bin even when she promised him and herself that she would try.

"I don't know." Hee Jin replied, sceptical and played with the scrambled eggs on her plate.

"It's okay. We can hang out here." He said, shrugging.

"No, I want to go out." She said, changing her mind. It would do her good to see the outside world and much more to start depending on Woo Bi. But she was petrified. Seoul was enough to send her into catatonic shock. A foreign city was something else entirely, but she felt her curiosity get the best of her.

"You don't have to push yourself."

"No, it's not like that. It'd be a shame, that's all. We didn't come all the way here only to stay inside. I'm sure it's a beautiful city." She said.

"If you're sure, then we better get going after we finish breakfast." He said, looking at the clock on the wall over her head.

"I'm already finished." She said, pushing away her plate.

"You barely ate."

"I'm not that hungry." Speaking of going outside made her stomach queasy.

"Okay, I'll finish up and follow suit." He said as she left for her room.

Taking refuge in her bathroom, Hee Jin took a deep breath.

It would be fine, she assured herself. They'd both go for a little sightseeing and then go back to their hotel. It would be harmless. But this was a different battle Hee Jin wasn't ready for. When she first came to Seoul, it felt like a metropolitan jungle. It didn't matter much where you were in the world, everywhere it was the survival of the fittest.

This city would be no different. No matter how beautiful it may be. Hee Jin didn't know if she had it in her to fight anymore. She didn't know the language or anyone. Woo Bin would be her only weapon if anything were to happen to her and whether he was a dependable one she would have to figure out on her own.

Freshening up and choosing whatever came up in her hands to wear, Hee Jin got herself ready. When the battle time came, she stepped out of her room to find Woo Bin waiting for her.

"You look good." He said.

"Yeah, right." She shook her head.

"I think this is a good start to trusting me. I meant it." He said.

"Thank you." She replied, taken aback.

She knew she had to start trusting him, but he was being ridiculous to earn her trust through compliments. She valued more things. Far more things.

"Ready?"

"Ready when you are." She replied.

Hee Jin tried to feign nonchalance, but she was holding on by a thread. Everything was so different. The people, the colours and the streets. This was a completely different domain than she was used to. It was hard to adapt and act interested in what Woo Bin was saying.

Woo Bin suggested taking them to a cathedral and Hee Jin went along with it. It wasn't like she had something particular in mind and the unfamiliarity of everything made her nod her head in a daze without fully articulating her surroundings.

She couldn't truly focus on anything except the fear she felt. It wasn't that anyone harmed her or Woo Bin had given her a reason to be scared. But the knowledge that something might happen stayed at the back of her brain and stopped her from enjoying anything.

There was a limitless amount of people waiting outside to enter the cathedral when they first arrived. Of course, that line didn't apply to them where Woo Bin was concerned. Three Italian tour guides were awaiting them when they arrived. And as they started talking and giving them a tour inside the place, Hee Jin understood from Woo Bin that they weren't regular tour guides but part of the responsible authorities of the cathedral giving them a personal tour inside the place, and as Woo Bin had said, allowed them to enter places hidden from other tourists. Not that Hee Jin was concentrating. If anything, the place made her more petrified.

She was blinded by the gold mosaics everywhere and felt lost amid the plethora of people. She felt physically sick that even the grandeur of the place couldn't pull her from the misery of her mind. If anything, it was all overstimulating her senses and increasing her groundless fears.

From the bits and pieces gathered from what Woo Bin had translated to her and the few instances she allowed herself to appreciate the lush and deep history of the place, she was sure that could've loved it. Someday maybe when she wasn't riddled with anxiety, she would be able to enjoy places like these.

When they had finally gotten out, she drew a huge breath of relief, drying the sweat of her clammy palms on her jeans.

"Do you want to hold my hand? It's a bit crowded in here." He suggested as they were starting to make their way through the crowds.

She simply nodded, her throat dry, and latched her hand with his.

She allowed him to guide her through the people and into the small cobblestoned streets between buildings. Feeling the fresh breeze on her skin and her mind calming down, she knew she had to go back. She couldn't handle any more minutes of this. She wasn't as strong as she was when she was a bit younger. Nor did her stubborn streak remain the same after all these years. She couldn't push her limits any longer than this.

"Can we go back?" She finally asked.

"I think this was enough exploring for me today." She laughed awkwardly. Surely, he had seen through her bluff. It was visible from miles away.

"We can do one more thing. It won't take long then we'll go. Please?" He said, seeming very keen.

If it were one more thing, maybe she could hold on a little bit longer before she lost her mind.

"Fine." She huffed.

"Stuff like this only exists in photos." Hee Jin said, looking all around her. She could much more appreciate the beauty of the city. As they passed through small nooks between the buildings, Hee Jin resisted the urge to take a photo. It was all so picturesque. It was hard to believe this was real life.

The thing he insisted on doing was riding on a gondola through the canal.

"I told you we had to do this." He said.

"It's so pretty. Although I thought you would hate doing this." She said, looking back at him as she was sitting on the edge of the gondola.

"Why?"

"It seems a bit tacky for someone like you." She said.

"It's relaxing. Someone was a bit tense."

"I was so obvious." She admitted, embarrassed.

"It's okay. Maybe I pushed too hard."

"No, that's on me. I was the one who agreed in the first place."

"It doesn't matter. Either way, I think we should go back." He said.

"I don't want to go to the hotel just yet."

"I didn't mean the hotel. I think we should head back to Seoul. I can tell you're not having fun here." He elaborated.

"I don't want to go back to Seoul."

"Is it because of my parents?

She nodded, gripping the edge of the gondola as it slightly shifted through the still water.

"They don't have to know we came back just yet. We could be still touring around Europe for all they know."

"Can we? I know I'm being a spoilsport." She said feeling admittedly guilty and cowardly.

"It's not my first nor will it be my last time here. I can survive."

She could tell he could sense her inner conflict and distress.

"You don't have to feel bad. It's okay to take things step by step. It takes courage to know when to quit. That doesn't make you less brave." He comforted her.

"I wish it was different. Sometimes I wish I wasn't myself at all."

"I know how that feels. There are times when it becomes too heavy to be yourself. Waking up in your own body could be enough to discourage you from starting the day." He said.

"You feel that way?"

"All the time."

"It looks like feeling shitty has nothing to do with your upbringing." She remarked, not believing she was hearing these words from him. Not that she discredited him.

"Well, it certainly helps." He smiled.

"Did you hate it? Your upbringing?" She asked. Woo Bin was different. Too different from her that her brain couldn't possibly imagine what his life was like. He was the exact opposite of what she was in every way possible.

"Not necessarily. I was born lucky. Very lucky. But that luck comes with responsibilities, doubt and the scrutiny of yourself and others. But that doesn't matter. Other people have had it much worse than I am yet I still complain." He chuckled darkly to himself.

"That's not how it works. In the orphanage, when a kid got to have a bigger portion of a meal, we always used to compare ourselves to them. We used to think it unfair that that kid had it so much easier than us. In the end, we were all fighting for scraps, yet we were so sure that each one of us had it worse than the rest." She remembered, laughing softly, before continuing.

"The same thing with my closest friend, I used to envy her kindness. She didn't have a single bad bone in her body while I was so filled with hatred and rage. I thought her forgiving nature made her see the world in a much more amiable light. I was jealous that she wasn't as angry as I was. I thought she had it easier. That she would be much happier in the world than I'll ever be." She halted, getting lost in the thought of Da Eun. It made her realize that it was the first time she talked about her since her death.

"But?" He asked.

"She told me one day that she envied me as well. That she wished she was as stubborn as me and never yielded as much as she did. What I'm trying to say is that everyone suffers differently. It doesn't matter if you think people struggle more or less, it's not a competition and it's not something that could be measured. The only good thing you can do is self-preservation. That's how you pull through. That's how you survive. Comparisons do you no good."

"If only it was as easy to believe as to say. But enough about me. Do you still talk to her?" He asked.

"All the time. It probably helps that she's dead." She said.

"I apologize. I didn't know."

"It's okay. You're not the one who killed her." She said.

"Do you think she's listening to you now?"

"I'd like to believe that. I hope she knows somewhere, wherever she is, that I'll never forget her." Hee Jin said.

"I think she knows. She's lucky to have you as a friend. I wish one day I'd be as lucky as her."

"Maybe you'll get there." She said.

Looking at Woo Bin, with the sunset behind him flowing through his chestnut hair, Hee Jin couldn't help but think that it wasn't only the scenery that looked enthralling in the sunset. In front of her was something just as beautiful and charming if not more. And Hee Jin didn't know how she felt about that. Was she being extra paranoid or not paranoid enough? Was Woo Bin just as good as he has been presenting himself the last few days?