A/N: This will be sad. And may prove that unemployment has messed with my head more than I like.

Chapter 14

Wooooooo. Bwump. Wooooo. Bwump.

The EKG machine was extremely steady in its beeping. Quite frankly it was driving Revy mad, almost as mad as the fact she actually gave enough of a damn. She was sure as hell that she didn't have any romantic feelings for the man. It was inexplicable.

"Someone shoot that fucking machine."

Revy whirled her head around, "About fucking time you woke up. You made it out of surgery two days ago."

"Hmm. I feel like shit. If there is a morphine drip on this thing tell the doctor to hook it the fuck up. I really hate being shot, always make me useless for a long time."

Revy started to say something, but she was interupted by a doctor entering. She didn't wait to be told to leave. Standing right next to the door she couldn't help but listen to what was going on. For the most part it was just your regular checkup the doctors did when a person was in the hospital. It wasn't until the end that something caught her attention.

"Now Mr. Haines, during the routine blood screens we noticed an unknown compound in your blood. Could you tell me what it is and what it is for," the doctor asked the infirm gunman.

Ethan was silent for a few moments, and then spoke in a voice so low Revy had to press her ear to the door, "Triloxozene, it's an expiramental antineoplastic drug from Russia. I have a brain tumor. With the drug the oncologists said I could live another ten to fifteen years, without it maybe eight or nine months."

"How long have you been taking it?"

"October twelfth of last year. I was put on it immediately following discovery of the tumor. I was told that for all intents and purposes it was inoperable given my line of work and status in several countries where the operation could safely be done."

"How is it delivered into your system?"

"An eight milligram tablet taken daily."

"How have you been acquiring it here?"

"I made a deal with the Church. $200 for a hundred and fifty pills, and connections to any of my old weapon contacts in South America and Europe. I pick it up at a cafe down the street from the office."

"I'll have an oncologist examine you and schedule a CT scan. In the mean time I want you to send the young woman who has been sitting up here the last couple of days to retrieve the pills from your home so you can resume taking them. Now how does the bullet wound feel?"

"Like every...," Revy quite listening after that.

'Wow. For someone who seems so invincible cancer has to be worse than getting shot. If it became common knowledge there would be half a dozen vultures trying to run a con on him. Hell he may have thought one of us may try if we found out. Fuck, if he were anyone else I might have, I know he's fucking loaded. Dammit all to fucking hell, if it could happen to him it could happen to me, Rock, hell it could even happen to Dutch. It must be the real reason he came to Roanapur, to die in the City of the Dead.'

The doctor came out and told her she could go back in. She stayed there for a few seconds more then entered.

"Roanapur, Tailandia. La Ciudad de los Muertos. That's what my first mentor as a mercenary back in Mexico told me was our graveyard. I know you were listening through the door. Take a seat and I will tell you part of my story."

Once she was seated Ethan started, "I was in Kazakhstan. A group of anti-soviet rebels hired me to train them in urban combat and guerrilla tactics. It wasn't the best payday I ever had, but it was something. They were unorganized, and divided in how to approach their operations. Some of them favored striking military and government targets exclusively, others favored terror tactics. I refused to help them with any terrorist plots, but I did train them to fight against police and military troops. Didn't stop them from pursuing murderous plans. About midway through my time with them I uncovered several of them assembling a dirty bomb. Not a large one, but big enough to cause a panic if it went off. When I found them I shot the group dead. Before I hit the last one he threw a small glass container at my head. Inside it was a milligram of Cobalt 60, A piece of the glass stuck in my scalp. Luckily there was someone there who was familiar with it and was able to safely contain it before any major damage could be done.

Flash forward to nine months ago. I woke up with a massive headache and puked my guts out. My employer in an attempt to keep his operations as secluded as possible had installed a full clinic in the compound to care for his personal army and had hired an American doctor to run it. Somehow he knew what was wrong with me pretty quickly, and got me on the drug within twenty four hours. He asked me if I had any family members die of a cranial tumor, if I had been diagnosed with one of a hundred different diseases, and then he finally asked the big one; had I ever been exposed to any unshielded radioactive materials. When I told him what had happened in Kazakhstan he checked my scalp and found that little glass shard. The moment I saw it I knew that I wasn't going to die an old man in bed, and I found I didn't want to die bleeding out in a war zone. It shook me to the very core.

The doc told me that at the rate of growth that I would be able to live a decent length life, but that I wouldn't see my sixties even with the medicine. Even gave me a possible scenario for my last days. First thing to go would be my eyesight, then my hearing, after that either my ability to walk or speak, and then death. A sad fucking end for me, a sad fucking end for anyone. Not to mention a simply having a disease that could put you down like that is a signal for the sharks to start circling in for the kill."

"Let me guess, you were so preoccupied with your illness your job performance suffered and your boss got eighty sixed," Revy said with an unusual tone of understanding.

"I never even knew the guy was there until I walked into the parlor of the main house to tell Igorek that I was leaving. There the assassin was standing over his body. I put a round through his ear the second he shot Igorek's wife. Their daughter was the only person in that room to survive, and I was too much of a coward to stay and deal with my failure, and not enough of a coward to empty my skull. I must seem like a pussy to you. You're undefeatable, unstoppable, and whatever other descriptor someone can come up with. I ask you again though, is this really all you really want, living bullet for bullet waiting for the one that will drag you down to hell?"

Revy didn't even bother to say anything, she just left. As she walked down the hall she started thinking.

'Is that all I really want in life. Not to say it hasn't been a blast up to now, but in the last half an hour it started to seem a bit hollow. Nine months ago he was just like me, now he seems like some old wiseman. What the hell would I do, make my peace with the world? Who the hell would believe it? Most of the time people see me coming they start saying prayers to whatever fucking god they can think of. Shit, Rock is starting to rub off on me. Besides what else could I do."

Leaving the hospital thoughts kept popping up randomly, and leaving as fast as they came. Revy was never one to stop and think about her life, wasn't healthy in Roanapur. Some of them she held onto though. Mostly those about maybe going somewhere else and starting over one day, shit, even she wasn't going to be able to do this forever, and she was too good to get taken down by a random thug. Only two people had come close: The termamaider, and that mountain sized samurai in Japan.

"Wonder what it would be like to have a kid of my own. Have something that gave me a reason to live. And just who the hell do you think you are, DIPSHIT!," she whirled and put a hole through some back alley hood that sneaked up behind her.

Same old shit as always in the hellhole. Kill or be killed. The quiet life wasn't for her, she'd die of boredom before old age got her. Live fast and leave a good looking corpse, that's what she told Rock a couple years ago, and she stood by it. The only way to live here.

"He awake yet Revy," Dutch asked as she walked in.

"Yeah, he kept wanting me to blow the EKG apart, so he's doing well enough for him," she replied as she went to the fridge.

"You didn't do anything that is going to add to his bill did you?"

Revy snorted as she found a slice of cold pizza, "No, but what does it matter. Fry Face is picking up the tab on this one. Don't know why, don't care. My only interest in his life is the fact I can get a free meal of it."

Rock walked in at that moment, "It is a scary thought, you and Miss Balalaika working together like that to take advantage of someone who couldn't defend themselves at the last minute. Still though, anyway you might be able to work me in on the deal?"

"I don't know if Revy is starting to rub off on you, or that sadistic side of yours is starting to show more and more nowadays."

"Come on Dutch, it sounds like his balls are starting to drop. You can't hold that against him, now can you," Revy managed to get out between snickers.

Rock decided that instead of a retort a tactical retreat was warranted. Dutch went back to the magazine he was reading, and Revy took the slice of pizza and headed to Ethan's room. She found a small backpack and threw some clothes in it to hide the pills. As she expected the pills were hidden in one of the drawers that Ethan kept his handguns in. She really didn't want to know how many he had right then, but eventually found the drug behind a couple of GL17s stacked on top of each other, 'Probably the only guns he owns that can't get scratched.'

"Dutch I'll be back later, Ethan asked me to bring some clothes up there for when they released him. I'm headed to the Flag after that," she shouted as she went down the stairs.

There wasn't a reply, but she guessed one wasn't warranted. She didn't care though, all she was thinking about was how drunk she was going to get, and how the fuck she was going to get home that night.

When she got back to the hospital room she heard a conversation going, and she recognized the other voice.

"... Ld give it away Mag. I had to threaten the doctor to give me more than you were going to survive. When he told me about the tumor, lets just say things started to click into place," The voice was undeniably Balalaika.

Ethan sounded somewhat upset, "It wasn't your business Capt. Pavlovena. It's bad enough that Revy and the doctor know, and now you do. Roanapur: The City Where Everyone Knows I'm Fucked."

"I could get a doctor here that could remove it for you."

"What would I owe you then? I would like to live out my life without being indebted to some army bitch with a fetish for second grade marksman rifles."

"You would owe me nothing. It would be repayment for my life. Something that is on the same level as what you did in Afghanastan."

Revy noticed the change in the older woman's voice, 'Wow. Sounds like Sis feels something for him. I guess I can understand, I mean he saved my life a couple times. First time was when I nearly got my head torn off by that .50 cal, and then when he threw me and Rock out of the line of fire and got hit instead. Also the fact he can call her by her real name and not die. They must have gotten close during those three days.'

She decided to throw caution to the wind and barged in to the room, "You ought to take her up on the offer. Not often a thing like that comes up," she took the pills out of the bag, "I also brought some clothes for when they let you out, though I think the women of Roanapur wouldn't mind watching you walk out of here naked."

Balalaika laughed, "You might even garner some other admirers."

"You two working together is a scary thing, you know that," the bedridden man said as he shuddered.

As she sat in Balalaika's office Revy wondered why she had been asked here. Usually it was the full company, just Dutch, or just Rock (though she usually accompanied him). Honestly she wondered at the crimson décor. She knew the Russian liked the color, but she thought it made the whole room somewhat morbid.

"Hey Sis, I have a question for you," she asked to break the tension.

"Yes Two Hands."

"Why is it that Ethan can call you by your real name, yet anytime someone else uses it you cause them bodily harm?"

The female mafiaso smiled, "For the same reason that I call him Mag, it's what I introduced my self as, right before I called him a piece of filth. And I suppose I may hold some romantic thoughts toward him, though that may just be me lusting after a younger man. Who said the most feared woman around couldn't be a cougar."

Both women couldn't contain a laugh. Honestly Revy wasn't used to this intimate side of the woman. She knew that Balalaika had a life other than what everyone saw, but she hadn't expected to be let in on it. It made her nervous.

"Are you ok, Two Hands, you seem somewhat wired. Is it because I haven't explained why I asked you to accompany me back? I don't often have the chance to sit down and talk with another woman, if you will notice all my associates are male. Things they like don't often match up with things we like."

Revy gave her an odd look, "Uhh... Except for some different equipment I could pass for a guy if someone described me. I'm about as tomboyish as they come."

"Let me let you in on a secret, I was when I was young. When other proper young ladies were learning to curtsy and kiss the ass of their elders, I was learning to field strip an AK. When they were making moon eyes at some brainless dynasty officer brat with shiny buttons, I was in an Olympic training camp. They got knocked up, and I got scarred in a sandpit."

On the other side of the room the door opened and Boris entered, pushing a very battered individual in front of him, "I believe you scheduled an appointment for him at this time."

"Thank you, Sardzhent. Rebecca, I would like to introduce you to Vassily Krinkov. Discharged from the Russian Ground Forces eight months ago. Coincidentally around the time a certain Polkovnik Mstislav Bugakov went rogue with a entire battalion of former Soviet troops, including a Spetsnaz company. This occurred after he was notified of the death of his brother, Igorek Bugakov, and sister in law, Mertvyye Bugakov. Their supposed killer was a mercenary going by the name Songbird. The description that I got from Vassily here sounded an awful lot like Mag, however I believe something might be rotten in the state of Denmark."

"You could say that again. Ethan changing sides like that, unlikely. He had a half a dozen chances to kill all of us at the office the day we confronted him about who he was, all he did was have a mental breakdown. I know a way we might be able to find out the truth though."

Balalaika cocked her head over a little at the statement, "What do you mean by that Rebecca? Do you know something that I am not aware of?"

Revy nodded, "Ethan was telling me about his condition earlier and mentioned that this uh, what did you call him again? Igor-something? Whatever his name is, he had a daughter that was in the room when he was killed. She would have seen Ethan shoot the real assassin. Could you find out what happened to her?"

"I might could, though I must say that this level of admiration for anyone other than Chang, Rock, or Dutch is quite unusual. Are you seeing him as more than just a coworker now?"

Revy went a little red, "Not fucking like that. I guess I may be starting to see him as like an older brother or something. He seemed to watch out for me from that first job we did for you after he joined up. The other boat had a guy with a .50 rifle. Ethan got barely scraped by the first shot, a little further over and he would have lost his right arm. When I went on deck to start preparing to jump over he came flying out of nowhere and knocked me down just before the second shot tore my head off. Then about a month ago a guy was getting a little too frisky towards me while we were moving some cargo from the ship he was on, Ethan grabbed him by the crotch of his pants and threw him overboard, then he yelled down to the guy that he was welcome. Then when he saved me from getting shot on that ship a few days ago."

The older woman's turn to nod came. "I think I understand. He is a unique individual. In Afghanistan I offered myself to him, thinking that was what the woman was supposed to do when some random man saved their life. He refused, partly I think because it wasn't who he was, and the rest because I made life hell for him in the beginning."

"If repeat what I am about to say to anyone, not even the entire Soviet Army could protect you...," she trailed off as she realized Boris and the half conscious prisoner were still there, "A little privacy please."

With a nod from Balalaika the large man drug the prisoner from the room shutting the door behind them. The room was silent for a while. Revy because she couldn't think of how to word what she wanted to say, and Balalaika being considerate of the young gunwoman.

Finally Revy spoke again, "Ethan has made me start thinking about my life."

A/N: Ok that is long enough, and a high note to end it on. Now I am aware some of you may try to flame me, so some advice. Save the wear on your keyboard. You have to remember that despite all else these characters are human, and are subject to human emotions. Read the latest story arc in the manga and you will notice that Revy is starting to smooth out some from Rock's influence. So please take this into consideration.