the gravel cracks and hisses under his shoes as sasuke slip behind the supply tent and makes his way to the trees that lead to the edge of their encampment
he's gone down this road many a times before but tonight feels different
his head feels heavy and his heart heavier still
seven years he's been fighting this war
and he was tired
as much as he enjoyed the ritual of gearing up for battle, carefully wrapping his forearms and sliding on the plates, putting on his obi, sliding his two favorite katanas into their sayas…
he was getting exhausted
the first year on the battlefield flew by
he killed and he slaughtered and he buried his enemies in the dust
he cleaned his weapons carefully, meticulously each night
he ate with the others but did not say much
he rose early and went to a nearby field to practice his kata
he sat on sturdy boughs and meditated afterwards, trying to attune to his surroundings, sharpen his senses
he got back to camp just as the sun began to ascend
he listened to the others bitch about one thing or the other
and boast about a babe they pulled in a village nearby when they got the chance to leave the encampment
he rolled his eyes and remained silent
he was focused on his task
not just winning the battles
but winning the war
one year turned into two into three
he still rose early and he still went to train alone in his favorite field
it was surrounded by tall pines
their trunks scattered with scars from his blades, bark chipped away by the bite of shuriken
he heard the soft fall of footsteps one day as he was meditating after another grueling workout
it was a shinobi, no doubt about it
their footfall was ever so silent, graceful and barely there
he readied his blade
a girl in civilian clothes with a basket in her hands appeared from beneath the canopy of the trees
she had pink hair
how unusual
sasuke lowered his blade, studying the girl but she vanished the next moment
sasuke felt an arm around his neck
careful with those blades, a voice whispered in his ear, you might hurt yourself… or worse, others
sasuke pushed off from the branch he had been crouching on, drawing the girl with him
they disentangled during the fall, both landing swiftly on their feet
she's not a civilian then, he thought
he drew his blade up, eying her from above his raised arm
she must have dropped her basket somewhere along the way
she just stood there
hands empty
unguarded
yet her eyes were fierce
sasuke is headed toward the same field now, he can feel and anxious anticipation in his bones, on the inside burning
she's there, laying in the grass when he gets there
sakura, he whispers
she doesn't turn her head but he can hear her sighing contentedly
and it breaks his heart
he approaches her slowly, like a predator does its prey
or maybe it's just the habit of the shinobi
always in the shadows
always silent
always distant
he lays down beside her and she hums in approval
hey, sasuke-kun
he turns his head, looks at her
in the low light the pink of her hair is muted, the sharpness of her eyes almost undetectable
the familiar slope of her nose he's traced so many times now with his own
the apples of her cheeks have decreased in the time since they've known each other, she has perhaps grown slimmer too
matured, battered, exhausted, beautiful
she turns her head and smiles at him sadly
they both know what's coming tomorrow
they both wish they could put it off for as long as possible
but this is all they have
now
he gets to his feet, takes her hands and pulls her up
she follows most obligingly, holding tightly onto him
they disappear amongst the trees, taking a familiar route
it could be pitch black and they would still find their way
always
anytime
the little hut stands as it always has, a little crooked, a little dusty, a little weary
a little perfect
he opens the door and lets her in first, closing in after himself
she turns to him, lifts her hand, caresses his cheek
he feels like dying right then and there
he knows damn well this might just be the very last time
he knows she will not be his
not fully, not like he wants her to
but as long as he has this night
she might just be thinking the same thing because the next moment her hand shifts to the back of his neck and she pulls him in forcefully, crashing their lips together
he sighs and she opens her mouth to his
he finds his arms winding around her waist, one of his hands tracing her spine, all the way to her scalp, his fingers entangle in her hair, he pulls it slightly
she whimpers
it sounds like the three words they have yearned to tell each other these past years but never dared
he kisses her deeper
her hands slide down his chest, her nails scratching slightly over the fabric of his shirt
it lights his skin ablaze and he wants more
he pushes her against a wooden pillar and she lifts his shirt over his head
he kisses her again as soon as the fabric is out of the way
her hands trail up and down his abdomen once more, soon followed by her lips
he sighs, frustrated, content, broken
he stops her descent, grabs her face harshly and kisses her
and kisses and kisses and kisses her
he wishes tomorrow would never come
it's her turn to push him back now against an old table
it creaks at the rough contact
they don't seem to notice
his hands find her behind and pull her closer still
he aches
for her
for a tomorrow they'll never share
his hands find the hem of her top and he starts lifting
they are on the futon now, he's trailing kisses up her leg and she's squirming impatiently
she flips them over, she cannot wait any longer
with her hands on his chest, she lowers herself onto him and a primal sound leaves their lips in perfect harmony
they stay like that for a moment
he can see she's fighting tears and he has a hard time pretending like he's disconnected from all this
she leans forward, looks deep into his eyes and starts moving, slowly, like they have all the time in the world
but they don't
and the truth of that hurts more than either of them would dare admit
he uses his hands to guide her movements
it feels heavenly
and he thinks if this is the only time he'll encounter divinity
it is well worth it
a tear lands on his cheek
he flips them over, her legs lock around his hips, he kisses her hard
all my nights belong to you, he whispers
they both know it to be a lie
nothing of his would ever belong to her again
soon they will have to leave
go back to their camps
they will get up before dawn
sharpen their weapons, prepare their pouches
secure their armor
and face each other for what might be the last time
but for now they have this
for a little longer they can pretend