The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.
Hope you enjoy!
Prompt: "Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"
"Not until four."
Jacoba had just decided. Gunnar was the most annoying person on the god-damn planet. Here she was, nicely sitting at her new desk in the backroom at Tool's, doing some paperwork and research for the man, when in walks Gunnar. That man was clearly drunk and hell-bent on annoying the hell out of her.
"What are you doing?"
Good God, here we go again. "Viking, I've already told you four times. Stop drinking so damn much and you may actually retain the information we all tell you."
When Gunnar began to pout, which was adorable to say the least, Jacoba closed her eyes and slammed her head against the desk. She'd only been back with the team for about a month and was working her way towards becoming an actual part of the team. The idiot (as she tended to call Gunnar) was going to be the death of her, since every time he got drunk, he found her and wouldn't leave her alone. Jacoba groaned loudly.
"You know, you shouldn't assume I'm drunk. I could be acting."
Jacoba didn't even raise her head. "Even you can't act that well, Viking. When was the last time you had a drink anyways?"
She heard what sounded like Gunnar's feet being propped up onto her desk. "Oh, I don't know, last week? I know I had a belt on the plane ride back from out last mission and that's it." Wait a minute, he sounded way too SOBER for her liking. Jacoba sat up straight to see Gunnar leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, feet on her desk, and an easy smirk on his face. Her eyes narrowed.
"Really, you played me? I mean, I should expect this by now, but still." She smiled coyly as Gunnar furrowed his brows in confusion. "So that means you can help me with paperwork and research!"
"Nope. I'll just sit here as you do all the work."
Jacoba glared at him. "As always. Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?"
Gunnar smirked. "Not until four."
She scoffed. "Fine, then just leave me alone."
In the far corner of the backroom, Lee smirked. Neither of the other two occupants of the room had noticed him throughout their entire conversation. It took all the training he had to not react to their words and expression, since he knew that Jacoba wouldn't like the intrusion. It surprised the Brit that Gunnar was barely touching the sauce anymore, as well as the fact that this was their most civil conversation to date. His smile grew. They were falling in love. They just didn't see it yet.