The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Also, please don't be afraid to write reviews. I would love to hear from you all!

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "Are you insane?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Stop right there."

Thorn froze in place. He was just (attempting) to sneak out of the locker room that Barney had by the gym in the hanger when the voice had stopped him in his tracks. It was the one voice that he had hoped that he wouldn't hear. Grimacing at first, he quickly schooled his facial features before turning towards where the voice had come from.

"Oh, hello, Amazon. What can I help you with?"

Jacoba Dixie Kooper narrowed her eyes at the young hacker as she stood leaning against the doorway to the kitchen with her arms crossed across her chest. The team may only have been a week or two out from the mission that had brought the "Newbies" (as she called them), but she could already tell that Thorn was one that she would have to watch. He had already attempted to look at all of Barney's computer systems for the plane, almost as if to gauge what needed to be done, and now she had caught him sneaking out of the locker room with something in his hands (he was actually doing a great job at hiding it). She raised her eyebrow. "What is in your hands?"

Thorn widened his eyes and looked down at her hands. "Oh, this? I just saw this lying around and figured that whosevers it was would need an upgrade."

Furrowing her brow, Jacoba walked over to him, reaching for the item, which he pulled back towards himself. As he did this, she was finally able to see what it was and proceeded to roll her eyes. "Just lying around, huh? So, if I were to go into the locker room, I wouldn't see the lock to my locker broken and on the floor?"

"Hey, give me some kudos! I guessed your combo. Wait, I mean…"

Jacoba rolled her eyes again as she fought a smirk. "Are you insane, young man?"

Thorn scoffed. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Nah, maybe not. Are you going to give me my things back?"

"But, I have some awesome upgrades for you!"

Jacoba pinched the bridge of her nose. "Thorn, you have to ask someone before you take their things." She looked closer at his face and furrowed her brows again. "When was the last time that you slept?"

"I don't know. What is today?"

Jacoba groaned before grabbing his arm and pulling him along next to her. "Alright, come on. Let's get you to some place with a bed for you to take a nap."

"Aww, but upgrades."

"Now, Thorn!"