Prologue - The Perfect White Garden

White.

Left, right, up and down, front and back. Everything, everywhere, every single thing was blindingly white.

I never saw such a pure, unadulterated, beautiful color, and I felt like I didn't need anything else.

My heartbeat was becoming so slow, my limbs, so relaxed, my head so calm, that I felt like everything before was a dream. An overly surrealistic nightmare.

Archi was gone. Mother Fortuna died. Geuse went away, surrounded by those disgusting black hands. That girl, Pandora fled, unpunished. And I… I had done something unforgivable out of rage. But, at this moment, I really didn't care.

I was so captivated by the pristine beauty of this place, that all of my hatred, my tears, my loathing, my anguish, my animosity, my sorrow were as if they never existed.

It felt so divine, so radiant, so ethereal, that all of my Wrath and my Melancholy seemed to have been extinguished.

Pure White…No, Perfect White. It might be a good name for that color.

Then I saw her.

? : "What are you doing here?"

Huh ?

? : "What is happening?"

I turned to see a petite woman with deep blue eyes and platinum hair. Instantly, I froze. My body trembled as recognition struck me like a bolt of lightning.

? : "Do you happen to know where we are?"

My numbed emotions surged uncontrollably at her sight. It felt like I got to drink after days, or maybe years of thirst. No, it even felt like I was resurrecting somehow.

Pandora…

? : "That might be a bit of a problem…"

I never experienced such an intense, all-consuming fulfillment.

PAAANDOOOORAAAAAAAAA!

Pandora : "Yes?"

DIE!

I unleashed everything I had at her. An icy blast surged from my fingertips, enveloping her body in a swirling maelstrom of frost. Within seconds, a deafening CRACK echoed as a layer of jagged ice encased her completely.

Pandora : "What a strange situation."

But she was fine. Standing unharmed beside her own frozen image, she continued to ramble, as though my attack hadn't even registered. The very sight of her—this monster who had destroyed my life—unscathed and unbothered, ignited an inferno of rage within me.

FWOOOOSH – CREEEEE!

Pandora : "So you still remember me-"

BAAAAMMM!

Pandora : "Did I made a mistake-"

ZIIIIIING!

Pandora : "-while using-"

WHOOOOOM - CRACK!

Pandora : "-my authority on you-"

PAAAAM! SPLATTT!

Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!

BRRRRRRR! BAAAAANG!

As before, all my attempts to kill her only succeeded in interrupting her speech.

I hate you!

SCRUNCH! CRAAACK!

FWOOOOOSH! CREEEEEE!

Blinded by fury, I threw everything I could at her—icy shards, frozen storms, piercing spikes, flowers of ice—but it was all useless. Her body crumbled and vanished, only for her to reappear moments later, entirely unscathed.

My frustration reached a fever pitch, and yet… I couldn't stop. Every failed attempt only fueled my determination to see her destroyed.

I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!

I HATE YOUUUUUUUUU!

Each strike was a desperate scream into the void. But my hands trembled as my rage faltered. My fists unclenched and rose to my face. I couldn't hit her anymore.

I…hate you…You took everything…you destroyed everything..

Why?

WHYYYYYY!

My knees buckled. My breath hitched. I couldn't strike anymore. Not when tears blocked my vision, not when the only thing I really wanted was to understand. Not when my heart was hurting himself with despair.

I could never kill her anyway. I couldn't even disrupt her demeanor. Even if I could, they will never come back.

Pandora : "I wonder how this space was created. It does not feel like you are able to craft such magic."

What are you talking about?

I'm asking you why did you -

Pandora : "Then why did you freeze your people?"

Ghk- What?!

Pandora : "Why did you choose to sacrifice everything to keep a promise? Was it worth so much blood and suffering?"

PANDORA!

Pandora : "Don't you think it was your fault then?"

My fault? MY FAULT?!

Her words struck deep, ripping open wounds I was trying to bury. Was it true? Could it all… really be my fault? No. No, it couldn't be. Yet doubt slithered into my heart, wrapping itself around my resolve.

Pandora : "Wouldn't it be more rational and productive to look for a way to save them, rather than waste your time with me-"

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!

Once again, rage consumed me, and I lunged at her, channeling raw, unrelenting power into my attacks. Frost exploded around us, the white void cracking under the weight of my fury. Yet no matter how much force I unleashed, it was all in vain. She remained untouchable, her serene expression mocking me.

I never felt so powerful but powerless at the same time. And while my frustration was at all times high, she suddenly appeared behind me, her hand on my head.

Pandora : Now it should work as intended-

TCHAAAK! - I raised a spiky ice pillar into her guts, and her hot blood got spilled on my neck. Even though I knew she didn't die from this, even when her dead corpse promptly vanished from my sight, I felt …. satisfied?

Haa…Huff…Ha...

Because she appeared somewhere before me, without her fake smile and without spewing anything out. And it felt so…. good?

Heee...Hehe…Huff...

She was silently looking at me with…wariness?

I was not sure, but it was different from usual, and it was plenty enough. I think that I was smiling like never before.

We stayed like this for what felt like days, until she decided to revert her expression to the usual smooth, serene one.

Pandora : "I had not foreseen such circumstances… It seems that we are more alike than I thought. At least as far as the Vainglory factor is concerned, since it has clung to you for some reason."

…what?

Pandora : "My authority doesn't work on you."

White managed to creep into my soul once again.

I began to be disgusted about myself, and how my hostility against this monster was dissipating so easily.

Your authority? What is that?

Pandora : "Hm? You seem to have regained your composure…rather quickly."

I suppose so…

Pandora : "…"

She seems to have been taken aback by my collected behaviour, but I was barely able to enjoy her bemused dunce-like expression.

Pandora : Authorities are manifestations of the Witch Factors within their owners. Powerful abilities granted according to one's most deep desires.

Aaah… your strange power is an authority huh…

But … it still works, doesn't it ? I can't even kill you.

Pandora : "…"

Her words hung in the air, their meaning elusive but tantalizing. I didn't care. Instead, I stood, my resolve solidifying like the ice I commanded.

Anyway, I will kill you eventually. I will make you pay. You can be sure of it.

Cracks began to form in the white realm, letting darkness penetrate inside. I was just... a little depressed to see how such magnificent coloring was being corrupted.

Pandora : "Do not worry, you'll soon get the chance. I'm off to the Elior Forest to kill you and your kind. I'm angry with you too, because you've unfairly stolen my witch factor."

… heh

Anytime, Dunderhead.

I heard someone crying.

"Sorry…I'm so sorry…."

Snow everywhere… Icicles here and there… like this time. But, I don't feel cold…What is this floating cat? He is cute… I feel so sleepy…

"I left you alone…all this time…sorry"

Why are you crying?

"Because I couldn't find you… all this time…"

…

All this time?

How long did I sleep?

"..."

I'm Emilia. Only Emilia. Nice to meet you, mister Cat.

We got attacked…and…I…

"?! What? Emilia? Do you remember?"

Huh?...Of course I …

Who are you again?

"I'm…I'm Puck. A spirit just for you! Until now, and from now on."

Puck… Please… How long was my sleep?

Puck : "It have been…almost 100 years"

…100 years?

Puck : "I'm sorry… I have taken too long…I…I'm sorry…Eh?"

I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I did so much wrong…

100 years…Because of me… They were frozen that long…Are they still alive? It was my fault…

Puck : "Emilia…"

I'm sorry!

I'm so sorry!

I-

Puck : "Emilia? Emilia!"

Without even having a time to lament my sins, I suddenly fell into a deep slumber.

White.

All around was white. I couldn't even perceive my shadows in such blinding white.

I remembered seeing such lovely, resplendent, dazzling paint before, and I felt like I didn't need anything else.

My heartbeat was going faster, my limbs were losing their numbness, my head was getting refreshed, it was like I never slept to begin with.

I was liberated from the Permafrost. Puck cried and I wanted to console him. I wanted to check in on the others. But, at this moment, I really didn't care.

I was so fascinated by this place, that all of my tiredness dissipated.

It was so vibrant, so breathtaking, so stunning, that all of my Sloth perished.

Then I saw her.

A petite woman, with noticeable platinum hair, and skin of annoying perfection.

You're soooo persistent… Haaaa…

? : "Hm? I wonder what you are referring to."

Why are you sending me here again, Pandora? I won't open the Seal. Never. Whatever you are trying, it's useless.

Pandora : "I am in no way responsible for this domain. It looks like we are summoned here, under unknown conditions, by the Vainglory Factor we share henceforth."

Huummm…

Hey! Weren't you coming to kill me last time we talked here?

Pandora : "..."

Haha! I'd never get used to this! That bewildered face!

But why didn't she show up?

Did you forget about that?

Pandora : "Of course not...I had more productive things to do, unlike a lazy girl who has been asleep in her own magic for over 100 years…"

It was like yesterday for me…

Just be honest and admit that you couldn't break my permafrost.

Pandora : "You can be quite irritable."

Giving in to my desire to attack Pandora, I conjured dozens of floating stalactites from my own mana pool, ready to impale them into this monster disguised as a frail little girl.

Pandora : "Hm?

You won't try to kill me this time?"

I'm as confused as you, Pandora ! Why did I stop my attack right before landing?

I know why, actually.

Why should I bother trying something bound to fail?

You will use your "authority" or whatever to revert to life once again, won't you?

I'm tired, I guess…

If I need to bring you down, wouldn't it be more productive to think of a smarter option than spending my energy doing useless things?

Maybe I don't need to solve this issue now? After all, her death can wait, can't it?

I've just spent 100 years doing nothing, so a little while... An hour. One day won't make any difference, will it?

Yes, nothing urgent here.

They won't come back if I kill Pandora anyway.

I just need enough time to wake up properly… A little break. Just enough to breathe, to stop feeling this weight crushing my chest. Just enough to-

Why feel guilty? Have I ever felt guilty when breathing? Sleeping? No.

Then why not take a break?

Why fight it? Nobody's watching. No one will judge me. If I close my eyes now, if I lie down... Oh, it's so simple. So much simpler than forcing again and again a door that won't open. Maybe this isn't even the right door.

Pandora : "What's wrong with this kid?"

What if that's the solution? Stop everything. Let it go. Let it go. Just for a moment, a teeny-tiny moment... Yes, that could work. It might work. Or it might not. But I don't care. Not right now. Not right now.

Pandora : "Well, it's good to see you've become such a reasonable person during the last century."

My eyes slid back to the platinum-haired girl. A corner of my conscience protested weakly: You can't give up now. What if you made just one more attempt? Just one more?

White managed to creep back into my soul.

And its radiance burned away my procrastination.

I stood up. No more breaks. From now on, I'm going to use my time efficiently and find a safe way to end her fate.

Can you explain to me better about authorities? Do I have one?

Pandora : "I won't. I will gain nothing doing so. Use your child's brain and try to find answers yourself"

You're not fun.

Then, can you at least call me by my name, Pandora?

I'm Emilia.

Pandora : "..."

I remember her saying that her authority doesn't work on me.

What does it mean exactly?

Could I kill her if I land a fatal wound with my bare hands?

Cracks began to form in the white realm, letting darkness penetrate inside, corrupting the beautiful chroma of white.

I began to feel afraid of myself, that I hadn't felt the slightest hint of hatred for Pandora. I never felt such emotion : the desire to kill her was as intense as ever, but it wasn't to avenge my foster parents. It was colder, more calculated. She simply had to die for my sake.

Why? I'm not sure…

Can I even kill her? Where does such confidence come from in the first place?

I'll kill you, so don't cower in fear this time.

Come to the forest. Come to me.

She resumed her usual frightening doll smile, without answering this time.

? : "Are you okay?"

Puck ?...Yes…I am just sleepy…

I woke up in a very familiar landscape of snow and ice. But I don't feel cold.

Huh…? I feel like… like I'm forgetting something…

Something very important.

Almost seven years have passed and, well... a lot has happened.

My dream of exploring the world came to an end in no time; everyone was afraid of me for one reason or another. Even the Great Spirit Melakuera!

Mother Fortuna always said that I'm cute! Am I that scary-looking? I'd rather avoid checking it in the mirror though…

People associate me with the infamous Witch Of Envy because of my looks. And I really hate that, but it's okay because I have Puck. I naturally lived a secluded life taking care of my frozen ones, so that they'll have someone by their side when they wake up.

I want to ask for their forgiveness, and I will do anything for them.

I feel like I deserved at least such a bleak and solitary life for what I've done. But thanks to Puck, it wasn't too hard.

He was always there when I needed company and help. He'd always keep me warm. He gave me books when I asked him to. And he'd help me fight the witchbeasts I came across on my walks in the forest.

And most importantly, I managed to make a complete map of Elior Forest!

Last one!

I just finished removing the frost from every of my ice statue companions.

Since I have nothing more to do, I guess I'll go home and read some books (for the umpteenth time)…

? : "— That's quiiiite the splendid map you have here. I couldn't help but admire it."

Makeup?

Wait, who is this man?

Why is he in my house?

Perhaps another who wants to enslave me?

? : "It must have taken a great deal of time and effort to creaaaaate this. Considering the scaaaaale of Elior forest and the witchbeasts that dwell within it, it is easy to imagine how haaaaaard it must have beeeeen."

Ehh ? Do you want my map ?

Puck, be ready to capture him, I told him using telepathy. That's something Puck is apparently able to do with any compatible person

Puck : "Of course, Lia!"

? : If you aaaaask me, I would say yeeeeees! Because of the countless witchbeasts prowling around Elior Forest, there has not been oooooone single person so reckless as to attempt to make a map of the area! You did made a very precious iteeeem, Witch of Glaciation"

Again with this nickname… I don't like it very much.

Puck : "I thought I'd be quiet and hear you out, but I see your lack of manners extends well beyond sneaking into my daughter's room."

? : "Oh deeeear. What have we here, it seems you have a strange pet accompanying you."

Uh? I have a bad feeling… What are you doing, Puck? Why are you gathering that much mana, Puck?

? : "What exactly does your watchdog… No, watchcat, do to visitors lacking in manners?"

Puck : "It's obvious, isn't it. This is what I'm going to do!"

Puck?

Can we get out first-

And in a violent flash, my house got blown into smithereens.

Wait my house?

MY BOOKS!

My maaaaaaaaap!

You dummies!

These two spent half a day destroying everything. I was both in awe of their incredible magical prowess, and half angry with them! After all, they destroyed my house, and the forest was massively damaged. I'd have to draw a new map, and my knowledge of the surroundings may no longer be of any use to me...

Puck : "I'm sorry, Lia! But it's his fault you know! If he didn't want to fight us, he should've said it earlier!"

I thought that you can read minds, or emotions or something like that? You aren't reeeeally convincing, you know!

? : "I humbly apologiiiiiize for my sudden visit, and moreover, for being so ruuuuuuude as to test you."

Hmph, I pouted.

In truth, I was a little happy about the situation. Look on the bright side! This is my chance to get myself new books from Puck. Also, between building a new house and drawing up a new map of the forest, I'll have plenty to keep me busy for the next months thanks to these two.

And I had refreshing company! That man... What's with that weird accent when he talks? That's not what I meant! Isn't he afraid of me?

? : "I am Roswaal. —Margrave Roswaal L. Mathers. I am the current head of the Mathers family which has governed the land containing this forest for generaaaaaations."

Ah, I've been dreading this day ever since Puck told me about him in the past.

And judging by his strength, maybe he's the real deal!

I've enjoyed those lands for seven years without paying taxes to our lord? Ugh…

Ooo–ah! Lord Roswaal—right?! Please f-forgive our rudeness! Let me get you some tea… ah?

Ah yes, I'm homeless.

I…I don't have money for you to collect. Sorry…

Roswaal : "Uuumm… Then let's say this shall substitute for aaaaall the rent you oooowed until now…"

Ah! That's my map!

When did he? Roswaal… he is actually impressive!

So, you want to take that map as compensation for all the charges until now?

Roswaal : "Yes, that is coooorrect. Of course, if you believe this to be unfair we cooooould always discuss…"

No, that's fine. Keep it. You'll probably make much better use of it than I would.

You see Puck, my map drawings weren't useless after all!

Heh! Isn't this a bargain! This card became partially obsolete because of your lackadaisical actions anyway, so no complaints, okay?

…Are you not afraid of me, Roswaal?

Roswaal : "If I had to say whether or not I'm afraid of you, I'd have to say I'm not."

In response to my question, Roswaal solemnly shook his head. He then continued,

Roswaal : "The reeeeason being that I knew from the very start that a half-elf possessing silver hair and amethyst eyes dwelled in this forest, and it was in order to find this person that I came here."

I hope he doesn't have bad motives. We could become…friends, after all! I really hope so…

Roswaal : "But fiiiirst, Lady Lia… Do you wish to be addressed in this manner?"

It's going pretty well! It's the first time since I woke up that someone has asked me my name (Puck already knew it for some reason, so it doesn't count). I'm so unaccustomed to this that I didn't even think of introducing myself!

No, my name is Emilia. I have no family name. Just call me Emilia.

Hey! That's not a bad feeling! Not at all!

Introducing myself, huh… I might get addicted to this!

He then took a step backward, and got down on one knee as he respectfully bowed to me… what?

Roswaal : "Very well, Lady Emilia. Allow me to start over, I am Margrave Roswaal L Mathers. As a noble affiliated with the Kingdom of Lugunica, I haaaave come to visit you on this occasion in order to enlist the aid of your esteeeemed self."

…Aid?

Roswaal : "Yes, that is correct. Lady Emilia, would you please accept this?"

Roswaal took something out of his pocket and offered it to me. A small black triangular object in which was set a red jewel. The dragon-shaped design engraved on it gave me the impression that this object was of great value.

Do people normally give expensive jewels to make friends? I don't think so. Then again, he looks…eccentric—No! Don't judge him by his looks, Emilia! He might be a new friend after all!

Ah? It's shining. Beautiful…

Next time I knew, I was in a luxury dragon carriage, with Roswaal giving me the opportunity of my life.

I'm a Dragon Priestess, chosen to participate in the Royal Selection.

If I win, I'll become the Queen of Lugunica. I'm not dreaming, am I?

And he wants to sponsor my candidacy for his own reasons. I guess he didn't want to become my friend…

Roswaal, you didn't deliberately destroy my house for your shenanigans, did you?

But I'm in!

"The reward is a method to awaken the people frozen in this forest."

I'll definitely become queen, and I'll save my people!

Would you help me, Puck?

"—Lia."

…

"No matter where you go or what you decide to do, I'll stay by your side.

Because it's also a father's duty to accept his daughter's wishes, you see."

Hm! I'm counting on you to be by my side, Puck… Father!

Full of determination, I took one last look at my snow-covered forest.

I'll be back soon. Wait for me!

==== END OF PROLOGUE ====

Author notes :

This is literally my first fanfic ! And I'm 100% French, why am I writing in English gawdaamn…

I hope (nah, I'm pretty sure) my English will improve by the end of this adventure .

I'm ready for all feedback and comments, good, bad or worse.

Next step: I'm going through Arc 1. I think it will focus on Emilia, she ain't my fav character. Like, AT ALL (hey calm down Emilia simps I love her enough to dedicate a whole fanfiction to her).

But she really grew on me since season 2 (Arc 4), and she kinda fascinates me. I might butcher her whole personality though heheh, it might be funny lol.

The whole Pandora thing was only supposed to be a pretext to justify how she kept her memories, then my imagination went haywire. I know nothing much about Pandora, but I love challenges so I try to invent sthg decent.

DISCLAIMER : I don't own Re:Zero, it belongs to Tappei Nagatsuki.