Chapter 3

Something Worse than Death

The air crackled with energy as Emilia and the assassin clashed in a whirlwind of ice and steel. From behind her, Subaru watched with a mixture of awe and anxiety.

Every movement Emilia made was precise, each ice spike she launched finding its mark with terrifying accuracy, yet the assassin seemed to dance around them effortlessly, deflecting blows and narrowly dodging attacks.

Each time the assassin lunged towards Emilia, a shimmering shield of ice would materialize, repelling her blade with a resounding clang. The force of the impact would send shockwaves rippling through the air, but the shield held firm, its icy surface intact with no cracks.

In retaliation, Emilia would unleash another barrage of jagged ice stalactites that rained down upon their opponent, forcing her to retreat.

Puck, perched on Subaru's shoulder, offered a reassuring tone despite the intensity of the fight. "Don't worry about Emilia," he said, his voice calm and confident. "She is capable enough to deal with this. I can assure you this."

Subaru, however, couldn't shake off his unease. "Still, I don't feel like leaving her dealing with this alone," he muttered, his gaze fixed on the battle unfolding before him.

Felt, ever impatient, scoffed at Subaru's concern. "We can't keep just sitting around, watchin', right?" she declared, a mischievous glint in her eye.

With a voice firm with urgency, Subaru turned to Felt. "Felt! Listen to me!" he commanded, desperate to prevent another reckless act.

Felt blinked in confusion. "H-Huh? What again?"

Subaru : "Run as fast as you can! Go find us some help!"

Felt : "What?"

Her voice laced with disbelief, she noted. "Why do you think I'll find help for you guys? I could just run away, you know?"

Subaru's face hardened with a newfound resolve. "That's also fine! Go!" he declared, surprising even himself with his unwavering conviction.

Felt stared at him, utterly perplexed. "Wh-?! What? Why?" she sputtered, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Subaru stammered for a moment before pushing out the words with an air of certainty.

"I mean... you're probably the youngest one here! If someone's gotta make it alive, it's you. It's a given!" he blurted, earning a confused look from Felt.

Felt : "A minute ago you guys were cowering in fear! Tch! What the fuck happened?"

With a sarcastic snort, she challenged Subaru, her gaze flitting between Subaru and Puck, who remained unusually silent.

Subaru : "Hehe! That was then. This is now!"

His confidence seemingly unshakeable despite the precarious situation, Subaru flashed a sheepish grin.

Felt's expression softened slightly, replaced by a grudging admiration. "Keh! You two are cool as hell!" she muttered, glancing at Emilia who continued her relentless fight against the assassin.

With newfound purpose, Felt turned and sprinted towards the light filtering in from outside the alleyway.

Felt : "I'll get you some help! Hang in there!"

"You think I'd let her go?" the assassin sneered, her eyes gleaming with malice as she fixed them on Felt trying to reach the bustling marketplace.

With a flick of her wrist, she launched a kukri towards Felt, spinning with deadly accuracy, catching Emilia completely off guard.

Puck reacted instantly, summoning a projectile of ice that slammed against the flying blade, deflecting it harmlessly away.

Subaru : "Nice block, Puck!"

Emilia, however, didn't waste time celebrating the near miss.

Emilia : "You should stay focused on me!"

She seized the moment, delivering a powerful kick to the assassin's midsection, sending her reeling backwards.

The assassin recovered quickly, a smirk playing on her bloodstained lips. "Fufu... how wonderful! "You're so fast I barely had time to counterattack." She delicately raises her blade to her face as if admiring its sharp edge.

Emilia fought the urge to focus solely on the threat of the kukri. She had sustained a small cut on her thigh – a testament to the assassin's speed and precision.

Observing her movements, Emilia realized, "She's veeery fast, but I can follow her movements. However, I'm not skilled enough to fight her hand-to-hand". A plan began to form in her mind.

Emilia : "Let's finish this for once, villain!"

Three ice stalactites materialized around Emilia, ready to strike.

"I don't want her to run off to Felt too," she mused, her gaze fixed on the assassin. So "I'll taunt her into a quick confrontation."

The assassin chuckled, her voice laced with amusement. "You are right, indeed!"

She adopted a fighting stance, blade gleaming ominously in the dim light of the alleyway. "I am the『Bowel Hunter』, Elsa Granhiert," she declared, savoring the weight of her chilling moniker.

Subaru winced at the name. "Bowel Hunter? What kind of evil nickname is that?" he muttered under his breath.

Emilia joined her hands together, gathering mana. The urge to introduce herself welled within her – a natural response in the face of an opponent. But she hesitated. After years of living in seclusion and facing discrimination, revealing her name had become a deeply personal act.

"Call me the『Witch of Glaciation』," she said firmly, her voice echoing through the alleyway. "I won't tell you my name, Elsa."

Puck, instead of recoiling at his daughter's self-proclaimed title, felt a surge of paternal pride. Emilia's words weren't laced with fear anymore; they radiated confidence and a newfound sense of agency. Never before had she faced adversity with such unwavering resolve.

The moment stretched thin, taut with anticipation before shattering like a dropped ice shard, and everything went incredibly fast after.

Emilia unleashed her icy barrage: three arrows streaked towards Elsa, glinting like miniature comets against the dimly lit alleyway. Elsa met them head-on, her blade deflecting each projectile with effortless grace as she surged forward with unimaginable speed.

Instinct took over. Instead of raising a shield like before, Emilia conjured an ice spike from beneath Elsa's feet. The assassin was mere inches from her when the icy pillar shot skyward, aiming to impale her.

But Elsa possessed reflexes that defied human limitations. She decelerated in a blink, executing a backward skip that sent her away from the rising ice spear.

For a heartbeat, she was shrouded in shadow, unable to see Emilia behind the towering ice pillar. Deciding to circumvent the obstacle and resume her assault, Elsa began to sidestep…but two shadows materialized from thin air before her, cutting off her path to the left and right.

One figure, undeniably Emilia, emerged from the icy curtain. The other was cloaked in shadow, its hood obscuring any details.

It was only an empty cloak: in a split second behind the ice pillar, Emilia had tossed her hood aside with a flick of her wrist, sending it hurtling to her left. Simultaneously, she launched herself to the right, creating a blur of movement that left Elsa utterly bewildered.

Suddenly, two characters appeared instead of one. So, who to strike first? Caught off guard for a mere fraction of a second, Elsa froze in place.

It was all the advantage Emilia needed. She closed the distance with lightning speed, planting an ice spear deep into Elsa's gut.

TCHAAK! The sound echoed through the alleyway, sharp and final.

A defiant spark flickered in Elsa's eyes as she attempted a desperate defense, but the moment after, many icy spikes erupted from the floor to her flesh, transforming her into a living hedgehog. Emilia's half-elf grip on her hands tightened, further restricting her movements.

Blood welled up in Elsa's throat and spilled onto the cobblestones, but her expression remained unmarred by fear or pain.

"Aah... How lovely!" she rasped, a hint of amusement lacing her voice. "I didn't think you were the cunning type, Witch of Glaciation..."

Emilia tilted her head, a wry smile playing on her lips. "To be fair," she admitted, "it wasn't my idea." She remembered the moment when Felt had outwitted her in her first life, launching a fake insignia as a decoy while she slipped away unnoticed.

Emilia : "The one you treated as a mere slum dweller…She actually outsmarted me with a similar trick before."

Elsa : "I see. Fufu. How-"

Without leaving her time to finish, Emilia instantly drained all the vital heat from her with ruthless efficiency.

The spark of defiance in Elsa's eyes extinguished, replaced by a chilling emptiness. In no time, her body stiffened, then began to frost over.

To ensure there was no chance of resurrection, Emilia delivered a final, brutal blow, kicking Elsa's frozen corpse into shattered fragments across the alley floor. Silence descended upon the scene, broken only by the crunch of ice beneath her feet.

Emilia : "I… won…", she declared as she turned back to Subaru and Puck, a satisfied smile gracing her lips.

Subaru : "In–Incredible… EMT! Emilia Maji Tensai!"

Puck : "Told you!"

A wave of relief washed over Emilia as the assassin who had taken her life before was no more, neutralized at last.

The threat that had loomed over her like a guillotine – the Bowel Hunter, Elsa Granhiert – was now nothing more than shattered ice and scattered bone fragments on the cobblestones.

The reason for her agonizing death in a past life was now silenced forever. So, "It's over," she declared, her voice carrying a newfound lightness.

She allowed herself to relax, her guard truly lowering for the first time since her first demise.

Puck : "What?! She's not-"

His eyes flared with fury as he channeled his magic, a massive ice projectile coalescing in his paw, but Emilia didn't process such a reaction quick enough.

Subaru : "Emilia! Look out!"

Lost in the afterglow of victory, the young ice witch was still basking in the warmth of their shared triumph, and his words didn't reach her in time.

"It's over," she repeated, her voice laced with a misplaced confidence. "We defeated her."

Her words were met with Subaru's terrified shriek and Puck's furious roar. Yet, it was all too late.

A searing pain ripped through Emilia's gut as Elsa's resurrected form lunged forward, burying a blade deep within her flesh with a sickening thud.

Elsa : "You underestimated me, I am not so easily defeated."

Her eyes widened in disbelief as hell began to erupt from her insides.

How could this be? She had vanquished the enemy only moments ago. Hadn't she?

Now, staring into Elsa's cold, reptilian eyes, she recalls an unforgettable deep-blue gaze. A platinum-haired girl she thought she'd killed had the same indifferent, washed-out gleam in her eyes moments later.

A terrifying realization dawned: death was not an end for some, but merely a fleeting inconvenience.

"No…"

The world spun around Emilia as she crumpled to the ground, blood staining the cobblestones crimson. The taste of iron filled her mouth as life began to drain from her body.

"Not again…"

Raw, white-hot agony was tearing through her body like molten ice. Her vision blurred at the edges, reality melting into a kaleidoscope of fractured images: Subaru's terrified face, Puck's frantic roar, Elsa's triumphant smirk…

"It burns!"

She tried to draw strength from within, to muster a spark of magic to ward off the encroaching darkness. But her body was failing, drained by the agonizing wound that pulsed and grew with each heartbeat.

"It hurts!"

The chill of death seeped into her bones, a creeping paralysis that threatened to consume her entirely.

"It's scary!"

Memories flashed before her eyes, bittersweet echoes of past triumphs and shared laughter.

"I don't want to die!"

She saw Fortuna's intimidating but soft eyes, Geuse's warm eyes, Puck's kindness, Felt's mischievous grin, Roswaal's enigmatic gaze, Subaru's genuine smiles… Each fragment of memories a poignant reminder of all she stood to lose.

"I don't want to die again!"

She watched, helpless and horrified, as Puck launched a barrage of ice spades at Elsa, momentarily pushing her back. Then, with a desperate cry, he rushed to Emilia's side, his tiny form wracked with panic as he channeled healing magic into her shattered body.

But the damage was too severe. The pain, once blinding, began to dull as the world around her faded.

She saw Subaru lunge at Elsa, fueled by rage and a desperate hope to avenge her. He moved with reckless abandon, his attacks wild and uncoordinated – a futile act of defiance against an overwhelming force.

And then, just as abruptly as he had charged, Subaru was cut down, falling limply to the ground.

"No!"

Emilia's fading consciousness grasped at that image, her heart shattering with a final, unbearable pang of grief. The weight of her own death was nothing compared to the agony of seeing Subaru fall beside her, their shared journey cut tragically short.

"No," she choked out, the word a broken whisper swallowed by the encroaching darkness. "This isn't..."

Regret, raw and consuming, flooded her soul – regret for all she could have done differently, all the unspoken words, all the missed opportunities, all the moments she took for granted.

Eyes closed, soaked with tears, in a struggle she knew more than any other to be futile, she held her consciousness as much as she could, which allowed her to hear two things.

"I'm sorry, Lia… I failed you! I'm sorry…"

"Fufu, Reinhard… Yes, a knight among knights…"

That day, in a dark, rundown alleyway in the Capital, Emilia, the Witch of Glaciation, died.

"—What's the matter, boy ? You look like you saw a ghost."

Subaru looked up to see a man, middle-aged with celadon hair and a stern expression etched on his face. He was holding out an appa, its sweet aroma momentarily drawing his attention away from the horrifying scene he'd just witnessed.

Subaru : "Hey mister…"

Appa vendor : "Huh?"

Subaru : "How many times have you seen me now?"

The vendor stared at him, his brow furrowing deeper. "What do you mean? I've never seen you before. So? Are you buying it or not?" He gestured to the appa in his hand with an impatient flick of his wrist.

He rubbed his belly now uninjured, looked at his clean jersey, and his pristine plastic bag. And inspired loudly and slowly.

Subaru's hand instinctively went to his stomach, feeling for the phantom pain that had become all too familiar.

But there was nothing. His gut felt perfectly normal, as though the searing agony of death had never touched him at all.

He looked down at his jersey, pristine and unmarked, a stark contrast to the blood-soaked garment he'd worn moments before. A wave of realization washed over him, so sudden and overwhelming it left him breathless.

He ran his hand across his face, feeling for any trace of dirt or blood, as if trying to convince himself that this was real.

But there was nothing. His stomach felt full, his clothes clean, the plastic bag untouched.

He'd died, he knew that with absolute certainty. He'd seen Emilia fall, felt the cold grip of death stealing him away. And yet, here he was, alive and unharmed, back in this familiar townscape.

A flicker of hope, fragile as a newborn butterfly, began to stir within him. His instincts were fueled by hope, his heart was pounding with a mixture of fear and exhilaration.

It wasn't just him who had cheated death. Emilia was safe. They both were. This time, things would be different. He wouldn't let Emilia die again. Not if he could help it.

They have another chance to fix their mistakes, and to survive this day together.

It must have been the reason why he was summoned to this world.

Subaru let out a deep breath, a shaky laugh escaping his lips. "Sorry! But I'm broke beyond compare!" he exclaimed to the vendor, a wide grin spreading across his face.

Appa vendor : "Get the hell outta here!"

As Subaru backed away from the appa vendor's stall, a slow grin spread across his face. He knew exactly where he needed to be: with Emilia.

He walked with a newfound purpose, each step carrying him closer to her. On his way, he checked his items, and mumbled thoughts over his situation.

Subaru : "Wallet, cell phone, corn potage snack, cup noodles. My tracksuit and sneakers are intact, too. With so much circumstantial evidence, there is no denying it. Kinda hard to believe, but this has to be…"

His eyes narrowed in determination. A name formed on his lips, a whispered phrase that held both fear and hope: "A time leap." He paused, letting the words settle, savoring their weight.

"And each time," he continued, his voice growing steadier, "I return to my initial state. I'll call it... 『Return By Death』."

Subaru's brow furrowed in thought as he tried to grasp the reality of his situation. "So a time leap ability," he murmured, his voice laced with a mix of disbelief and grim acceptance, "–who only activates when I die. What a pitiful precondition, typical of me..."

He clenched his fists, frustration simmering beneath his surface. The fact that his life was now tethered to death felt both absurd and terrifying. But there was another layer to this puzzle, one that gnawed at him with even more urgency.

"Emilia seems to remember it too," he mused aloud. "Did she also have 『Return By Death』?" The thought sent a shiver down his spine.

If Emilia was trapped in the same loop, it meant she had to endure the same horrors time and time again. He couldn't bear the thought of her suffering like this.

"Around this time, Felt will steal Emilia," he recalled, "But she should be able to avoid it, since she knows." Relief washed over him momentarily, but it was quickly overshadowed by a new fear.

"But then, the killer would try to kill everyone involved..." His words trailed off into silence, leaving him facing the chilling truth. The path ahead seemed inevitably paved with danger.

But Subaru refused to surrender. He would not run away from this situation. Even if he risked death, he had never considered disengaging and leaving Emilia to face these horrors alone.

"Where is she?..." He muttered to himself, scanning his surroundings with a desperate intensity. "She is supposed to be around here..."

Minutes ticked by, each one stretching into an eternity. He searched tirelessly, his hope dwindling with every passing moment.

"What if I'm too late?" he whispered, angst beginning to break through his resolve. He had to find her, he had to protect her.

A cold dread settled in Subaru's gut. "No way," he muttered, shaking his head frantically. "Elsa couldn't have attacked her in this crowd, could she? There would have been a commotion, something I definitely would have noticed."

His eyes darted from one face to another, searching for any sign of Emilia amidst the bustling throng.

"So... where are you?" He whispered, his voice choked with fear. His mind raced through possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last.

"Maybe she went to warn the guards? But then... did she take Felt with her?" He knew Emilia wouldn't hesitate to protect innocents, but that didn't ease the knot of worry tightening in his chest.

She was probably looking after him as well. He knew the capital was big and bustling. They could have easily gotten separated amidst the sea of people.

"She couldn't have run away… No, it's not in her character… Did she still get stolen, and went to the slums already?" The image of Emilia, vulnerable and alone in that dangerous place, was unbearable.

It wasn't like Emilia to abandon him, but..."She couldn't have left me alone, could she?"

The very thought ignited a burning fear within him, accelerating his heartbeat and leaving him gasping for air.

Subaru : "Emilia! EMILIA! EMILIAAAAAAA!"

His pleas echoing through the crowded marketplace went unanswered, met only with confused stares from those around him. His own frantic breathing seemed to mock his desperate cry.

"Emilia…you didn't leave me, did you?"

The silence that followed was deafening, a stark reminder of her absence. He felt lost, adrift in a sea of uncertainty and doubt gnawing at his resolve.

A single thought resonated within him, a lifeline amidst the chaos.

"You need me, right?"

Clinging to the hope that somehow, some way, Emilia was waiting for him, Natsuki Subaru headed for the slums to accomplish his mission.

Emilia was sitting somewhere in an alleyway in the capital. The damp cobblestones beneath her back offered little comfort.

She was huddling in a shadowy corner, her entire body tensed, every muscle screaming with exhaustion and despair. Her eyes stared blankly ahead, devoid of their usual warmth and light.

Hours had passed since her second death. The chilling experience had ripped through her like a storm, leaving behind a desolate emptiness that consumed her thoughts.

She had fled instinctively, driven by a primal need to escape the encroaching terror. But now, lost and alone, she felt utterly adrift.

Puck, her loyal cat spirit, fluttered anxiously around her, his usually vibrant blue eyes clouded with worry. His attempts to soothe her were met only with silence.

He could sense the tempest raging within her soul, a psychic storm that had erupted without warning, leaving him powerless to understand or console.

"Hey you!" A gruff voice shattered the tense quiet of the alleyway. Three familiar figures emerged from the gloom. "If you don't wanna get hurt, cough up whatever you've got!" they snarled, circling her like hungry wolves.

Emilia remained motionless, her gaze fixed on some distant point beyond the thugs. They saw a vulnerable target, an easy mark ripe for exploitation. They failed to notice in time a Puck boiling with frustration.

His bright aqua blue eyes glowed with an unearthly light, and his normally gentle features were twisted into a menacing sneer, sending shivers down the spines of the thugs.

Numerous floating projectiles formed in the air, melting their bravado like ice in the sun.

Thug 1 : "Y–You're a spiritual arts user ?"

Puck narrowed his eyes, his voice a low growl. "Correct. Back off now, and I won't come after you. Do anything to her," he hissed, his form flickering ominously, "And I'll haunt you and your kin forever."

Without another word, they turned tail and fled, disappearing into the shadows as quickly as they had appeared.

Emilia remained oblivious to the drama that had just unfolded. Her gaze was fixed on a ladybug trapped within a spider's web, struggling in vain against the sticky strands.

A strange sense of detachment washed over her, as if she were observing herself from a distance.

She watched silently as the spider descended upon its prey, her own emotions swirling in a maelstrom of conflicting feelings.

Sadness for the doomed creature welled up inside her, but beneath it lay something darker, something unsettlingly new.

"Aah... you won't revive, right? Lucky you..."

Suddenly, a weariness tugged at her limbs, an overwhelming urge to surrender to sleep. Her body slumped onto the cold cobblestones, her eyes closing with a sigh.

Puck, his concern deepening, approached Emilia cautiously. "Lia? Are you okay?" he asked softly, nudging her gently with his paw. "Lia?" His voice trembled with anxiety, but there was no response.

White.

I turned around endlessly, but could only perceive white. Even with eyes closed, I was blinded with white.

I recalled admiring this picturesque hue of white, and, filled with gratitude, I felt like I didn't need anything else.

My heartbeat was becoming steadier, my limbs more vibrant, my eyes softer, my face more relaxed, it was like I never felt frustration in my whole life.

I have horribly died two times already. The pain and the horror were unimaginable, but I reverted to life. Everything was supposed to be over, but Subaru and I had been granted another chance. And here I was running away, complaining like a fool. I was even hating a poor dying insect out of sickening reasons, and never before was I more disgusted with myself than now.

But, at this moment, all of these didn't matter.

I was so absorbed by the harmony exuded from the white, that all of my dissatisfaction, my ungratefulness and my self-centeredness vanished.

It felt so pure, so unified, so selflessly exquisite, that all of my Envy degenerated into nothingness.

Then I saw her.

A young looking girl, with platinum hair, and deep blue gaze.

Pandora : "Why did I remember being summoned here in the exact same conditions as our last meeting? Do you know what happened, Emilia?"

Don't know.

Pandora : "—You are shaking like never before. What happened to you?"

Don't want to talk with you. Leave me alone.

Pandora : "It seems that we went backwards in time once. Satella should not have enough margin to accomplish such a feat from her Seal… or maybe… Fufu, I see… Interesting."

Once ?

No. I had no interest in talking with Pandora. I was simply feeling grateful to whatever allowed me to stay alive.

Pandora : "This expression… aah. Emilia, did you perhaps die recently?"

Huh?

How did she know? Only from seeing my face?

With a smile filled with mockery and derision, she looked at me with pity and disdain.

Pandora : "Of course I do. I know that expression better than you think."

You died, and came back too...

Pandora : "Your Vainglory Authority, like mine, must prevent you from dying somehow. Even though I can confidently say that it did not reverse time. Something else happened."

Something else? Wasn't it my-

Then I remembered Subaru's words. He said he'll save me, right?

Was he the one who reset time? Then, why do I remember my deaths?

Is he doing it on purpose?

Frustration rose in my heart for the boy I knew to be kind and caring. If he really did this to me, if he kept me from dying, from forgetting, then...

Pandora : "The first time is always painful and frightening, so much so that you deny what happened. The second time, you will want to run away, hoping never to experience it again. The third time, you will feel hatred and jealousy towards those who can only die once, and you will hate the world for making you this way."

Enough…

Pandora : "The fourth time, you will feel alone, helpless and misunderstood. The fifth time, once again, you will deny your deaths, and seek salvation in the idea that you are just crazy and seeing things. This cycle of anger and denial will continue endlessly, until the day you understand."

She slowly told me these things, in a reassuring tone, with an empathetic gaze, as if she were experiencing them herself, as if we were the same, and it disgusted me.

Shut up…

Pandora : "Your own death is actually the greatest tool at your hands."

Exasperated, I wanted to kill her to shut her up. But then I felt something truly ugly.

I formed four jagged stalactites of ice and, with ruthless precision, planted them in the joints of her limbs. She barely tried to resist and, keeping her serene smile, collapsed to the floor. And I felt so…I FELT SO ANGRY!

Why are you smiling! You are dying here, you know?!

I towered over her, conjured up an ice pick in my hands and, with no regard for its coldness, plunged it into the frail-looking girl's guts with a sickening thud.

She coughed up blood. Her breathing became less regular than usual. Her body was losing a lot of blood.

She certainly felt the same hellish heat in her guts as I did. She was certainly crushed by the same heaviness as I was. She definitely felt her consciousness fading desperately. She was surely embracing Death!

Even though we both knew she'd come back to life afterwards... She was dying!

How are you still looking unfazed…

I killed her this time because I hated the fact that she could move on so easily, even after death. And my heart was filled with intense jealousy.

I wanted, like her, to no longer be bothered by death.

How… could I become like you…?

She appeared behind me, unharmed, leaving me bathed in her blood. She leaned toward me, and in my ears she whispered, "Kill yourself now, and you will understand."

I'm scared of dying, but I have to die to not feel like this anymore ?

Pandora : "Exactly."

White managed to creep back into my soul.

I was filled with harmony and happiness, and my bitterness got blown away.

I formed a giant ice stone above her, and its weight crushed Pandora to death. Of course, she resurrected somewhere before me.

I was really about to kill myself. Am I that much of a dunce? Why would I listen to her?

She doesn't care about dying because she is a monster. Why should I envy such a thing?

I have to find another way to live with my new reality. I'm not alone, am I, Subaru?

Pandora : "I was just giving you advice out of genuine concern."

I don't need any of your advice. I don't want to be like you. So I'll never get used to death. That's pure nonsense.

Cracks began to form in the white realm, letting darkness penetrate inside. White was filled with chromatic aberrations, leaving me a little bit dejected.

Filled with toxic enviousness, I almost unfairly blamed Subaru for what happened. If I remember what Puck and Pandora told me, everything becomes clear.

Besides, you said we only went back in time once, didn't you?

Pandora: "Hm? What do you mean?"

We came back twice.

I understand much better now. About how my Authority works, that is.

Emilia's eyes flickered open with a haze of confusion clouding her mind, feeling as though a vital piece of information was slipping through her grasp.

She tilted her gaze towards Puck, but even as she saw him, she couldn't quite connect with the concern etched across his features.

She remained lying on the dirty cobblestones, catatonically. Her eyes remained vacant, adrift in an unsettling stillness.

Puck approached cautiously, forcing a cheerful smile onto his face.

Puck : "Lia, are you okay?"

Silence was her only response. She continued to stare at him blankly, as if she were seeing through him entirely. His heart sank. He'd never seen this side of Emilia before.

"Lia," he pressed, his voice laced with desperation, "I don't know what is happening to you, but I'll always be with you. I'm your one and only spirit! So, don't be afraid. Just know you are not alone."

She remembered Subaru's voice, his comforting reassurance during times of darkness: "You're not alone. You don't need to face it alone. We'll face this together."

As if struck by a spark, Emilia blinked. A faint tremor ran through her, a flicker of recognition in her otherwise empty gaze. Puck's words resonated within her, echoing something deep inside her heart.

Emilia : "Puck…"

This small gesture, this fleeting echo of her former self, filled Puck with a sliver of hope. Perhaps he could reach her, guide her back from the abyss that threatened to consume her.

"Su... Subaru will be safe..." Emilia whispered, the words catching in her throat like shards of glass.

Her mind replayed the horrifying scene, Subaru's life flickering out before her eyes.

She had dragged him into this mess, she had failed to protect him. She is cursed to walk a path fraught with danger, and to hurt those she cares about.

Because she is a half-elf.

Those self-deprecating thoughts, fruits of seven years of discrimination, gnawed at her. Those whispers of inadequacy, results of her guilt towards the inhabitants of Elior Forest, fueled her despair.

"That's why I let Felt steal my insignia," she confessed, her gaze distant and lost.

Puck : "Felt? Who is that?"

As Emilia never reacted to Felt's theft this time, Puck never noticed anything amiss regarding Emilia's insignia.

Emilia : "This way, that woman will get what she wants... Subaru and I will be fine."

"I think that shady woman killed him, and probably killed Felt too! To double-cross them, or to cover her tracks, probably for such a reason."

A chilling certainty gripped Emilia – Felt was doomed to die at the hands of Elsa.

Her heart ached for Felt, recognizing the young girl's innocence and vulnerability. But Emilia's own instinct for survival had become a suffocating barrier, preventing any action that could possibly save them both.

Despite the instinctive urge to help, Emilia's own terror paralyzed her.

The thought of death was unbearable, smothering any flicker of courage or compassion. She knew someone would die, but the prospect of her own demise rendered her utterly helpless.

Emilia : "I just don't want to die… Puck…"

Her fear held her captive, a prisoner in its icy grip.

Puck : "I'll never let this happen to you, Lia. I will protect you! You don't have to worry about what's hurting you right now in this town."

Emilia remained silent, her gaze distant and unfocused, as if lost in a labyrinth of her own thoughts.

"You can just go back to the mansion, safely" Puck continued, his voice softer now, tinged with concern.

His words triggered a flicker of understanding within Emilia. He was right!

She didn't want to die, she didn't want any more pain. So why... Why was she still here?

Why had she dragged herself into this dark, filthy alleyway – a place eerily reminiscent of her final moments with Subaru?

Memories surged back, more vivid and painful than ever: Subaru dying at Elsa's hands because of her foolish choices. Because she had carelessly let her guard down.

And a new fear gripped her heart, twisting like a serpent in her gut.

"If Subaru remembered... Would he run away from it all like me? Or would he still try to save Felt, despite the danger?"

Her soul already knew the answer.

"Is Subaru really safe right now?"

Her heart ached at realizing the horrifyingly obvious.

"Is there any chance of Subaru meeting the Bowel Hunter?"

Her brain calculated the likelihood of this happening.

And this simple, chilling fact was enough to shatter her paralysis into oblivion.

Emilia sprang to her feet, startling Puck. The mere thought of Subaru dying sent a fresh wave of terror crashing over Emilia, far worse than her own potential demise.

The image of him collapsing in the aftermath of her failure, his terrified eyes mirroring her own despair, was seared into her memory, an agonizing wound refusing to heal. For her, it was, truly, something worse than Death.

It wasn't just about avoiding death anymore. It was about protecting Subaru, shielding him from the same fate that had befallen them both before.

And this desperate need, this irrepressible instinct to save him, had unconsciously drawn her to this dangerous place; a dark, isolated alley.

"I'm such a dunderhead!" Emilia cried out, slapping herself across the cheeks, startling Puck yet again. "Losing time like this… What was I thinking!"

Puck : "Lia? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, Puck!" she exclaimed, her voice thick with emotion. "I want to help someone, please… help me!"

The urgency in her plea pierced through Puck's bewildered state. Seeing Emilia regain some semblance of herself brought immense relief. He dropped the act of confusion and responded with his usual cheerfulness.

"Of course, Lia!" he declared, his voice brimming with renewed optimism. "Anything for you!"

= END OF CHAPTER 3 =

Author's Notes :

Subaru did say E.M.T Emilia Maji Tensai, and for people who don't know, Tensai simply means Genius.

Why didn't I write E.M.G then ? cz I wanted to keep the reference to the OG EMT (Emilia-tan Maji Tenshi).

Also cz I do what I want, it's my thing anyway, hmph!

Nah let's be real… EMG doesn't even sound right lol…

Fr fr, it was difficult to come up with ideas to write this chapter, but I'm quite satisfied with the result.

Yeah, even if they only meet for a day, they're already that close. This seems right and natural to me, since they've been through Death together, but that ain't healthy at all.

That's their unhealthy wholesome phase lol.

Next : Emilia's actions to save Subaru!

I'll try to post once per week (Am I delusional?), at worst once every 2 weeks.

Happy New Year 2025!

DISCLAIMER : I don't own Re:Zero, it belongs to Tappei Nagatsuki.