Twice (Christina Aguilera)
OCTOBER
Santana's 32nd Birthday
in which we find out just what Dani wanted Santana to try, an experiment and Quinn looks to the sky
QUINN'S POV
She hovered above me, sweat shining on her face and smiled.
"Holy shit, It works." She said, her pupils dilated and a giant grin etched on her face.
"No way, You can seriously feel everything?"
"Yeah, it's hard to explain...but wow. I can see why guys blow their loads...wow!"
"So then you're able to keep moving, then?"
She looked at me strangely and then all at once realized that once she had gone in, she had been still.
For me, it felt the same but for her...it was new.
"Sorry." She pulled out and slammed forward with glee.
And I just had to hold on to her tightly because now that she felt EVERYTHING she didn't want to not feel everything.
My body was hers for the taking and I liked every second of it.
I didn't know whether to curse Dani or thank her.
Santana growled into my ear as she held me close, not slowing down even a little bit.
I felt like putty in her arms, mold-able and malleable.
This, right here felt worth all the bullshit of the past.
Our closeness...our sex...our openness.
Her.
I buried my face into her neck and tried not to scream as I came.
Even though the kids were out for the night, we still had neighbors.
And if I let out all the noises that I was holding back, I'm pretty sure the cops would be called.
After what felt like the longest and best fucking of my life, we laid there laughing at how crazy it seemed.
"I feel like I lost my virginity all over again." She panted.
"Trust me, that is not what virgin sex feels like."
"Don't I know it."
"Go call her." I muttered.
"What?"
"Your leg is shaking, I know you're dying to call Dani and tell her that you finally tried her prototype."
"No...it's okay...it can wait."
"No it can't. Go call her...I need a minute to catch my breath."
"If you're sure."
"I am. Just bring back some of your birthday cake and some ice cream and all will be forgiven."
"You're the best!" She giggled before kissing me hard and deep.
When she pulled away her eyes were practically dancing.
"I love you." I whispered before smacking her bare ass.
"Hey now, I'd be careful if I were you, I could go about five more rounds."
I could feel my eyes go wide and I must have looked down right cartoonish because she let out a cackle before swaying her hips as she walked out of the room.
And once she was gone...I did the strangest thing.
I stared out at the moon and began to pray.
"Father, I don't know why it took me so long. I don't know why I wasted so much time. I see my wrongs and I ask you, humbly to keep me self aware. Keep my honest and come what may, help me to see the good in things. Help me to ask the right questions. Help me be more like you and less like the person I used to be. In your matchless name, Amen."
NOVEMBER
THANKSGIVING in New York
in which ice skating is had, a future is planned, and Quinn makes a plea
"Look at her go." I said as I rested my head on Santana's shoulder.
Beth was skating with Gabe in Rockefeller plaza while we had hot chocolate and watched.
"Someday she's going to be a great mom." Santana murmured before taking a deep sip from her cup.
She'd been brooding all morning but refused to say what was wrong.
Old Quinn would have been oblivious...even older Quinn would have been in her face about it but I...was trying something new.
"As long as its after college."
"Damn, straight."
She sighed heavily and I gave in. "I'm only asking once...is everything okay?"
She grunted and then bounced her foot on the ground.
"I...we're good right?" She asked as she looked straight ahead.
"Yeah, we are."
"And what about sobriety, you feeling pretty settled with that?"
"So far, so good...I get my 1 year chip soon. How about you?"
"A decade strong. So...I graduate next month...with a whole entire bachelor's degree and I've been throwing feelers out..."
"Okay?"
"Well remember last night when I got that phone call as we were dropping the baby at my parents?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I got into Tisch."
"At NYU?"
"Yeah."
"For when?"
"August."
"I thought you said you wanted to go back to California?"
"I did...at least that was until I actually got into NYU. So what do you say? Ready to become a New Yorker?"
"I am...I was even thinking about going back into medicine...in a teaching capacity. Maybe I can see if P&S will take me on as an adjunct professor. You know I love my Ivies and of course I still love medicine, I've been missing it like crazy."
"Then you should look into it plus, free tuition for the kids."
"So we're doing this?" I asked, happy that this was the point of her stress and not something more serious.
"Yeah, I suppose we are, Rachel is going to flip. Dani too."
"We are going to have to talk to the kids about this...this means changing schools...again."
"Well Beth graduates in June, she should be finding out about college any day now and none of them are on the east coast. So it really comes down to Gabe and I know for a fact that he hates his school."
"True and maybe...Beth might change her mind about California."
"No, love, Beth needs to get away. Her life, especially this past year, has been more than most people could handle. She wants to be in LA and we should encourage her as much as possible."
"You're right."
"I know."
I sat in the bathroom of our hotel suite, staring down at Manhattan with Santana's phone clutched in my hand.
"Yo bitch!" Dani's voice came through the line.
"Hi Dani, it's Quinn."
"Oh, hey girl. I hear you're enjoying my creation."
"About that...she's addicted. I think she's going to put me back in a wheelchair."
"Well shit. That's kinda awesome."
"No...it's not. I have two million dollar pieces of tech in my vertebrae and that strap-on is going to knock them clear out."
"If you don't mind me asking...are you only doing it one position? Have you tried doing it standing up or with you on top?"
I got silent...had we gotten that vanilla that I hadn't even thought of other positions.
"Uh..."
"Okay, well two things, one, change positions and two, strap up."
"Noted. In the meantime...maybe change the erection feature...if you want to be realistic then put a timer on it or something."
"Now that is helpful. I will take that into consideration, Q. Thank you."
"Will you talk to her without it seeming like I'm coming to you?"
"Nope...I will not help you lie."
"Fine. If you talk to her, feel free to dime me out."
"That I can do but..."
"What?"
"Maybe you need to just talk to your wife. She's probably just over excited, you need to rein her in. She will not take it personally, she's not a dude. She knows the size is right and that her stroke is on point." Dani cleared her throat and I held back a laugh, "Sorry, I was remembering...you know what, that's not important...just tell her the truth and I will take your notes, maybe give it the option to deflate."
"And you'll tell us when you get that update?"
"I'll even let you pick it out."
"Perfect, thank you, Dani."
"No probs, have fun! Byeee."
DECEMBER
CHRISTMAS in the suburbs
In which, Santana graduates, Beth makes a startling decision, Gabe turns 11, & Quinn finally tries that new position
"SANTANA LOPEZ, Summa Cum Laude."
I was on my feet with Maribel, screeching as Santana strutted across the stage looking just as gorgeous as ever.
My body was so sore from all of the love making we'd been doing...and the fucking too because come on!
I had tears in my eyes...after all of these years she'd finally, finally done it and it felt more monumental than Yale, Penn, and UCLA combined.
Beth was cheering too, an air-horn pressed down until Santana left the stage.
We were by far the loudest people but we had not a bit of shame.
She'd earned this.
Ten fold.
After we met outside the auditorium, amidst a million graduates and their families, Santana threw herself into my open arms and whispered against my face.
"I got the new and improved one in the mail this morning...Dani sent it in time for tonight...Mami is taking the kids, will you fuck me into oblivion?"
She pulled away and looked at me innocently but I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I looked at her.
"Keep it in your pants, the kids are watching you." Antonio said as he leaned down next to me.
I glared at my wife and she burst into a fit of giggles.
My heart sped up and I knew right then that my prayers had been answered.
"Yes." I said back to her and she blew me a kiss with a super obvious wink.
"If you two are done being gross can we go eat lunch now?" Gabriel whined and just like that, the spell was broken and we commenced with pictures before heading to brunch where Santana kept sliding her hand up my bare thigh underneath the table.
I felt like a teenager again.
And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Our plans were foiled that night by Beth storming into the house with a giant packet in her hands.
"I got in!" She screamed and we screamed with her even though we had NO idea what she was talking about.
We did a dance around the living room, which even Sasha was jamming too before we all collapsed together on the sofa.
"So...which school did we just wear ourselves out to?" Gabriel asked.
Beth looked excited and slightly anxious before beaming.
"Cornell."
"As in New York?" I screeched, hardly able to contain myself.
"Is that close to where we are going to be?" Gabe asked his eyes filling with tears.
"Three hour drive, bud." Beth said to him and he smiled too.
"That's way closer than California."
"I know."
"I thought you wanted UC Berkeley or UCLA, kiddo?" I asked and she just shrugged.
"I want my freedom from you guys obviously but I also don't want to miss too much. I've missed enough." She said, teary eyed and excited.
"Awww!" I said before throwing myself at her, arms open wide. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me so tight, I nearly lost my breath.
"I'm glad you're back, Mama...please stay." She whispered against my face and I hugged her even tighter because WOW.
"I'm here, sweets and I'm not going anywhere."
"You know what we need?" Gabriel asked.
"What?" Santana asked as she spun Sasha around to her delight.
"Froyo."
And that's how we ended up in the car headed in the opposite direction of my inlaws, with the kids in tow.
There was no better feeling.
"Happy Birthday, dear Gabe the babe, Happy Birthday to YOUUUUUUUUUU." We all sang and Gabriel looked like he was going to cry.
Actual boy tears from his face!
I know that I spent the better part of a near decade zoned out but I always tried to be sober for my kids' birthday cakes and singing...tried being the operative word.
And never...in ALL of that time did I see him look at me the way he did.
The amount of love on his face as I cuddled him close to me, holding him steady on the giant trampoline we were perched on as the entire place sang to him, was enormous.
We'd rented the entire Trampoline park and invited his entire class and got Mercedes and her boys to fly from Germany, just to be there for his day.
Even Vanessa, his godmother/birth mother made an appearance with her husband and their little boy.
It was an entire event of massive proportions and even still, when the kids invaded the trampolines and Gabriel was snatched from me, I found her.
Santana was lingering by the pizza with Mercedes, Kitty, and Vanessa, huddled close with Dani putting on a show.
The closer I got, the more I realized that they were not talking about kid friendly stuff.
In fact, Sugar was in the middle of moaning like a bitch in heat.
"Seriously?" I said as I slow clapped.
They all looked caught, with the exception of Santana who had this wry smile as she pointed at Dani.
"It was her."
"Oh yeah?" I asked and Santana suddenly looked guilty.
"And maybe me."
"That's what thought."
They all burst into giggles and I couldn't help but join them, with me around they seemed to remember that there were kids everywhere.
"Shit, shit, shit!" Santana was squealing as I pressed her against the penthouse window that overlooked Philadelphia, her hips were in my hands as I had her bent towards the window, blinds open, lights off as I pinned her there, thousands of feet above the city.
Something about the position gave me enough leverage to not hurt my back...also, an HBIC loves submission.
And having her like that, all to myself in a hotel room while everyone was back at the house was pure bliss.
She had been right...I could feel everything...the tightness...the movements...her...and I did not want to stop.
"I love you." I whispered and she breathlessly mumbled her agreement.
She was all whimpers and sobs by the time I came pressing her face even harder against the coolness of the window.
I yanked her hips back with one final thrust and she shouted my name.
And when I stepped back I watched her linger there, trying to cling to the glass as the tremors rolled through her body.
She was a sight to behold and I was ever grateful that only the birds could see her from this height.
I wasn't sure how Dani had made this but I was sure that I wanted to invest in it because she was going to make a fortune.
And I wanted every bit of free product I could get.
Because of this newest connection, these moments with Santana helped me feel like we were one body, one soul cementing our marriage.
I felt tears in my eyes and quickly wiped them as I sat back on the bed.
Santana turned finally and looked at me with a raised eyebrow, even though she looked ready to fall over.
"Can I...be on top?" She asked and I smiled and nodded.
"Of course, love."
Sudden concern covered her face.
"How's your back? Do you need a break?"
"I'm good."
And then she looked practically devilish.
"Great...after this...you're up next."
"Oh shit."
"Don't worry, Luce, I'll be gentle.".
"Don't be." She looked a little shocked but in the next moment, we were back to the mad dash to satisfy each other.
We are both competitive and frankly, I'm winning.
And she knows it.
On Christmas eve, we celebrated Noche Buena with food and presents in Puerto Rico with Antonio and Maribel.
It was a great time to tan and spread the news of what our next step would be and all anyone wanted to know was when baby #4 was coming.
For me it was impossible and right then, I regretted my rash decision to tie my tubes and I knew that Santana felt sad because the chemo had killed her chances of making a new baby.
We both got silent until Santana got a huge smile on her face and said, without running it by me.
"We've been trying...I have two embryos left...maybe after we've been in New York for a year. Right love?"
"Right." I said, even though this was the first I was hearing of it, I wasn't going to leave her hanging.
We'd always planned that she would carry and I would carry...we were in a good place and it looked to stay that way.
So yeah, I was into it even if I was shocked to my core that she wanted to expand our family instead of abolish it.
I was a lucky woman, indeed.
Maribel got giddy, Antonio slapped me hard on the back and both Beth and Gabriel glared at us in object horror.
I imagine I was doing the same to Santana but the light in her eyes told me that it was something she was serious about and if that was the honest truth...then maybe we would?
Only time will tell.
Once we were alone, she buried her face against my neck as she slowly thrust into me with just her fingers.
A relief from the intensity of the last couple of months.
"Are you mad?" She whispered, knowing the kids were just on the otherside of the wall.
I shook my head. "No, just surprised."
"Would you be willing?"
"To what? Carry?" I tried to keep my voice down and she quieted me by kissing my neck and slowing her fingers.
"Yes."
"Oh...okay...okay...right there."
"Is that a yes?"
"Yessss...yes. I want to...yes. In a year."
"I'm so excited."
"Me too. Now fuck me harder. Please?"
"All you had to do was ask."
A/N: Hey chicas...I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. An epilogue to come tomorrow. Hope you're well :D