Apologies we're a day late! Life's just been really busy and I'm covering for my coworker while they're away for the month so that means earlier wake ups and earlier sleep ins. Plus, with the Christmas season, it's a bit more hectic.

Onto the chapter…quite a (not surprising) twist but I couldn't help making Samson more of a villain. If he knew of Cullen being with the Inquisitor, he would stop at nothing to come in between.

Thank you to everyone who has commented, bookmarked, and read along on this journey so far. It means the world to me x

—-

Chapter 31:

Lara sighed at her reflection staring back at her. Today she would have to face Samson and place judgment on him. The thought of seeing his greasy face again made her stomach churn. She skipped breakfast, not wanting the threat of vomiting to appear when she had a serious decision to make as Inquisitor. This was the man orchestrating all of Corypheus's requests. The man responsible for so many Templars being consumed by lyrium, more than they already were. The man responsible for so many lives lost under a false future that would never be theirs. Corypheus would have discarded them all the moment he ascended into godhood. There would be no place for them. They were a means to an end.

She wore her best Inquisition clothes, representing Skyhold. Representing Thedas. The weight of her responsibilities were now a burden on her, causing her muscles to ache in response. She straightened her posture trying to relieve herself, but it was for nothing. She placed the flowers Gabriel had thrown into her braid as her own good luck charm for today. WIthout taking another glance, she descended down the stairs from her quarters into the Hall.

A crowd had already gathered, whispers echoing around them. No doubt about Samson and the judgment she was going to make. She wasn't even sure what her options were. Dying would be too easy, and he didn't deserve freedom either. He didn't even deserve the lyrium they provided him but if they needed information, they needed him sane. Shakily, she made her way to the throne that awaited her. The throne where she made all her judgments, holding the future in her hands, changing the course of history.

She sat down, shifting uncomfortably, but trying not to let anyone know. Last thing she needed was to showcase an unconfident Inquisitor. She waited for Josephine to appear with her clipboard, scribbling away, providing the details of the prisoner and their crimes. Instead, a familiar voice that made her heart stop spoke to her.

Oh no…

"Forgive me, Inquisitor. For personal interest, I have relieved Josephine. As you might expect," Cullen spoke as he walked up the stairs.

No I fucking did not expect.

"Knight-Templar Samson. General to Coypheus. Traitor to the Order. The blood on his hands cannot be measured," Cullen continued, his expression dark.

This was absolutely a call on personal interest alone. This was revenge. How the hell did Josephine allow this?

Samson was brought to the center below her by two Inquisition soldiers. Rylen, along with two other soldiers, stood guard in case Samson had a trick up his sleeve. Even with his helmet, Rylen looked at Samson like he could murder him on the spot.

"His head is too valuable to take. Kirkwall, Orlais; many would see him suffer. I can't say I'm not one of them," Cullen's words were filled with hatred.

Samson kept his head bowed the entire time, not daring to look up.

Coward.

"Don't worry. I won't take it lightly," Lara answered, while trying to think of an alternative.

"The red lyrium will steal your vengeance. You know what it does. Corypheus only delayed my corruption," Samson finally spoke, looking at her.

Cullen spun around in anger, forgetting his injury. Lara didn't miss the slight wince at his movements.

"Are you still loyal to that thing? He poisoned the Order, used them to kill thousands!" Cullen was nearly shouting.

"You still don't get it, Cullen. Templars have always been used. How many were left to rot, like I was, after the Chantry burned away their minds? Piss on it!" Samson spat on the floor.

Cullen reared at his gesture but his eyes narrowed. Rylen stepped forward, ready to kill if someone gave him the word.

"I followed him so Templars could at least die at their best! Same lie as the Chantry. The Prophet just isn't as pretty," Samson finished.

In a way…he has a point.

"You forget that I found your people. They believed in you. Believed your cause was righteous," Lara replied.

"Not your business, Inquisitor," Samson mocked her.

Rylen and Cullen both stepped towards him at his words.

"Mind your tongue," Cullen warned. "Your friend Maddox was so loyal, he killed himself. For you."

A smile crossed Samson's face as he studied the Commander. Lara already knew he gave away too much by that gesture, as did Rylen.

"They were always going to die. I saw what Corypheus was doing. So yes, I fed them hope instead of despair. I made them believe their pain had purpose. Just like the Chantry does. Right, Commander?" He gave a laugh and smirked at Cullen.

Cullen only looked at him with disgust but he didn't protest.

The smirk soon wiped off Samson's face as he looked at the floor below him.

"Corypheus will kill me on sight. I'll tell your people what they want. Everything I cared about is destroyed now anyways," Samson shook his head.

Lara took a deep breath as the words rang in her head.

The Inquisition is a second chance.

Was Samson undeserving of a second chance? He willingly followed Corypheus much like Cullen willingly followed the Order to become a Templar when he was a boy. In reality, Corypheus using his men was much like the Chantry using the Templars to do their dirty work. Once they were cast aside, they were left with nothing but a lyrium addiction and no prospects for a future. Cullen had somehow managed to escape and get rid of that leash in order to make a future for himself and was doing the same for his men. Perhaps he could extend an olive branch to Samson.

"It doesn't have to be that way. You can spend your years serving the Inquisition. A second chance. Cullen will be your handler. Perhaps he can get something useful out of you," Lara concluded.

Samson snorted. "I doubt the Commander believes there's anything worthy left in me."

"You're not wrong. But you served something greater than yourself once. Perhaps you can be made to remember that," Cullen's expression softened.

Samson didn't look at Cullen. The soldiers grabbed him and escorted him out. Rylen and his men were fast behind them.

—-

"I have no idea if I did the right thing," Lara sighed as she sank into the one-seater.

"My dear, no matter what you do, it will never be the right thing to someone. You can't please everyone. And stop creasing my couch," Dorian exclaimed as he swatted her leg with a book.

Lara laughed and adjusted herself.

"But did I do the right thing for Cullen? It wasn't exactly something we discussed," Lara fidgeted her fingers nervously, biting the inside of her lip.

"That man would follow you into the depths of the Fade if you asked him to. If anyone could get through to him, it would unfortunately be our dashing Commander. Rylen would just beat him to a pulp and then you'd never get anything useful out of him," Dorian flipped through a book.

Lara sighed, unsure of the whole situation. Samson was playing games with him, targeting his insecurities and Lara was now using him as bait. However, Dorian was right. The only one who could handle Samson would be Cullen. Lara doubted Samson would open up to anyone else.

"Inquisitor, I was hoping to find you and here you are. Naturally," The spymaster said with a smile on her face.

She knew Lara visited Dorian frequently so it was no surprise to her. She fully believed Leliana looked here first before going to her quarters. Lara gave her a smile.

"Where else would I be?" She replied.

"You have a letter. It's quite sweet," Leliana smirked as she handed her the letter.

"I take it you've read it then?" Dorian arched an eyebrow.

"Of course. I keep track of all correspondence coming in and out of Skyhold. We can never be too careful," Leliana responded.

"Thank you Leliana," Lara said before Dorian could get a word in.

The spymaster gave her a sweet smile and turned to leave the two friends alone. Lara noted how her smile was only reserved for certain people. She was still cold as stone inside, but once she was softened, she wasn't too bad. Leliana always meant well, always aimed to protect everyone, even if killing was her first go to answer. Lara undid the envelope and peaked at the ink inside. It wasn't anything she expected.

"It's from Cullen's sister…he doesn't know that she wrote this…" Lara updated as she looked through the parchment.

"You're hogging up all the fun," Dorian exclaimed as he tried to reach for the letter.

Lara jumped up off the one seater as quick as she could, keeping the letter out of arm's reach.

"Oh no you don't. I will share later if I feel like it," Lara stuck her tongue out, making her way to the stairs.

"Whatever you say, Inquisitor Killjoy," Dorian's snarky reply echoed behind her.

—-

Curiosity got the better of her. Why would Cullen's sister write to her? Once she was safely back in her quarters, she didn't hesitate in opening the letter as she sat at the edge of her bed.

Dear Inquisitor,

Apologies, I'm not sure how to address you properly. I didn't want to be too informal as we haven't met. I am Cullen's sister, Mia, and no, he has no idea I'm sending this letter. We were hoping to meet you when Cullen came to visit but were disappointed. Hopefully we can one day meet you! We are all looking forward to it.

It came as quite a happy surprise when we discovered our brother had finally found himself a lover. He has lived too long a life of solitude in my opinion. We absolutely tortured some details out of him while he was here, and are even more eager to meet you. We know you are Inquisitor and you're from Orlais but we would love to have you in Ferelden. You are always welcome here.

I wanted to write to you to welcome you to our family and personally invite you although I'm sure Cullen already plans on bringing you here. He better, anyway. No pressure in responding but it would mean a lot to me. Especially since my brother refuses to write to me despite my incessant nagging. Perhaps you can give him a nudge? Or a slap? Either one works.

Your future sister,

Mia

Lara couldn't help the laughs flowing out of her as she read Mia's letter. The stark difference between Cullen and his sister was painfully obvious. Despite their differences, Cullen still seemed very fond of her. She debated whether she should even tell Cullen of the letter knowing he would be embarrassed. His family seemed so welcoming, which was so unfamiliar to her. They were more accepting than her own parents were of her.

She's just being nice because you're with her brother.

The cruel, unwanted thoughts popped in her head, destroying the positive moment. She couldn't understand why anyone would want her. Her parents weren't everyone but it was torturous to undo years of conditioning. With a sigh, she went to her desk and grabbed a parchment and her ink. She fought against the thoughts in her head that played tricks on her and wrote a letter back to Mia. It may be too soon in their relationship but one day she could go to Ferelden with him again to visit his family.

If he even still wants you after this is over…

Swallowing hard, she shook her head, and scribbled away furiously trying to drown out the voices in her head threatening to overtake her.

—-

It had been a few days since her judgment and there was quite the uproar between Samson and some of the Inquisition soldiers who had served as Templars. He was no doubt instigating the fights with the soldiers, taunting them. Rylen even had to be restrained from punching his face in. It had been radio silent from Cullen which worried her. Solas had assured her he wasn't having any withdrawals. That eased her mind but still she was worried what hole he was going under. When he buried himself in his office, it was never a good thing. Work was a distraction for him. An escape from the world. An escape from his thoughts. He worked himself down to the bone just to chase the demons away.

Opening the door to his office, a training dummy with knives sticking out of it stopped her in her tracks. Cullen stood staring at it, twirling the knife in his gloved hand. Letting out a sigh, he slowly launched his arm up and swiftly tossed the knife towards the dummy, striking it straight in the chest. Lara couldn't help but be impressed yet terrified by his aim.

Cullen turned to face her. He knew she stood there. He could sense her presence. Lara closed the door behind her.

"Samson took everything from those Templars. He corrupted their souls, twisted them into everything they stood against. Everything they would have hated," Cullen stood hunched over his desk, shaking his head in disgust.

"Despite that, I still can't help but feel sorry for them. Regardless of what I may feel towards Templars, I don't think they would have done that willingly," Lara answered, taking steps towards him.

"They're barely human now," Cullen carried on. "The red lyrium left Samson's mind unaltered. He knew what he was doing. He dares speak as though it was a mercy? The man's a monster. I pray his information is useful. His life is good for little else," Cullen's voice was pure ice.

A shiver ran down her spine. She had never heard that tone from him before. It was terrifying.

"Yes, but he got what he deserved," Lara replied.

"The people he betrayed – they deserved something better. Samson deserves nothing," He spat.

Cullen shook his head angrily, pushing himself off the desk. He paced around before stopping a few footsteps in front of her. His expression turned into fear as he rubbed the back of his neck, a realization haunting him.

"I might have known some of them. If my life had gone differently – I might've been one of them…" His voice trailed off.

"Cullen," Lara sighed, as she closed the distance between them, cupping his face in her hand.

"You're not one of them. That wasn't your fate. You've seen the worst of corruption, and yet you went against your Knight-Commander. You still fought for the good in the world. Never forget that," Lara stared deep into his eyes.

She leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He sighed, sinking into the kiss as he cupped the back of her head, needing it as much as she did. Lara could feel her body come alive under his touch, setting her ablaze. If she could freeze this moment in time, she would. Slowly releasing her lips, he placed his forehead on hers.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had not been at the Conclave? If you had never been the Inquisitor?" He asked.

All the time.

She buries that thought and doesn't tell him that. She can't give in to his way of thinking. It will only allow him to sink further down the hole he already is in. Lara knows this can't be easy for him to endure. A smile crept on her face.

"A life without you? Never," Her smile widened as she looked at him.

Cullen's expression softened as a blush crept up his neck and face. She loved that she could do that to him. Loved the effect she had on him. It validated the fact that he did love her like he said he did. She knew she had no reason to doubt, but her mind tried to convince her otherwise. And usually always succeeded.

"I can't even imagine it. I can't bear to think about it," He whispered hoarsely.

"You don't have to. I'm here. I'm yours," Her voice was foreign to her at her request. When was she this forward with him?

With a sigh, he cupped the back of her head, crashing his lips onto hers. The need and urgency of the kiss took Lara off guard as her footing stumbled, but his strong arms gripped her tighter. Holding her, protecting her. He always kept her safe. She returned the kiss fervently, her own need evident. Her emotions poured through the kiss what her words couldn't say.

—-

More time had passed in Skyhold and preparations were underway for the Exalted Plains. Since the defeat of Corypheus and the peace talks in Halamshiral, the condition there has been unstable. A Venatori mage is leading a group called the Freemen of the Dales and are harassing both sides. Plus, spirits have been summoned and are possessing the corpses that lay across the Plains. More mess for Lara to deal with and be responsible for.

An odd compulsion overcame her to see Samson for herself. Cullen had made some small progress with him but the two had butted heads more than anything else. It was a one step forward, two steps backwards dance between them. Rylen was on duty, standing outside guarding his cell. He looked alarmed when he saw her approaching.

"What are you doing here, lass?" Rylen tried to block her from entering.

"What does it look like?"

"I won't allow it. This isn't a place for you," He threatened.

Lara cocked her head to the side. "Funny. I think I outrank you."

Rylen cursed under his breath, adjusting his stance.

"I don't recommend speaking to him. Does Cullen even know you're here?" He asked.

"It doesn't matter who knows I'm here," Lara replied.

"He's a terrible person, lass," Rylen lowered his head.

"Give us a moment alone," Lara replied, pushing past him.

Rylen made to stop her, but suddenly stopped himself remembering she was Inquisitor and there wasn't much he could do. He remembered his place and left her alone to speak with him.

Lara watched Rylen leave to ensure they indeed had a moment alone. Then his voice echoed throughout the dungeon, sending her hairs to stand on end. Perhaps this was a mistake…

"He's right, you know. I am a terrible person," Samson spoke, not looking at her.

"That isn't anything I don't already know," Lara replied, looking at his hunched figure.

Samson let out an empty laugh.

"Then why are you here?"

"To talk to you," Lara never let her eyes off him.

"I highly doubt you'll be more successful than your Commander," Samson smiled.

"Did you really think you'd ascend to godhood? Or that Corypheus would even give you a taste of it?" Lara continued, ignoring him.

"It doesn't matter what I think," Was all he said.

Lara let out a dry laugh. "It does, especially when you've corrupted innocent people for your cause."

Suddenly, she felt like the Inquisitor. It was a rare moment but here she stood against the representative of her enemy. She stood tall, calm, collected, ready for a comeback at each turn. She wasn't sure if it was because he was barred. There was no magic he could hurl at her, no tricks he could play. He was stripped of his power and reduced to nothing.

"Tell that to the Order. They do it for a living," He drawled.

"No shit. I was in a Circle. I'm well aware. It's a pathetic excuse. You can do different than the Order and instead you choose to be just like them," Lara shook her head.

"You don't know what Templars suffer through. No one does," He spat towards her.

Lara ignored his gesture.

"You're right. I didn't know until recently. Someone close to me told me that Templars have never made their suffering known. The Inquisition is a second chance for them," Lara answered.

"Then you would understand why I did what I had to do. You understand why I wanted to overthrow the Chantry. It was revenge," Samson finally looked at her.

A chill ran down her spine as their eyes locked. It was like looking into evil itself. All the corruption and evil in the world lay in the man before her. He was foaming at the mouth most likely due to his lyrium addiction. The monitored supply here wasn't enough to quench his thirst. He was weak without his power.

"Revenge for what?" She asked, hoping to get something out of him.

"They manipulate us with lyrium. Once you're cast aside, you're no longer given lyrium. You're left to rot with an addiction. Once you do their dirty work, you're not needed anymore. It's revenge for what they did to us," Samson continued.

"And look at what that got you. Look at where you are now. Oh yes, you sure showed them," Lara cocked her head to the side.

Samson let out a cold, heartless laugh. He approached her through the bars. Lara stood strong, unaffected by his actions. She wouldn't let him see a drop of her fear, nor the chills that he gave her. He didn't deserve an ounce of power.

"You think your little school for mages is so revolutionary?" Samson smiled mockingly.

"Perhaps not, but we also have a center for the Templars here who want to quit lyrium. To remove their leash from the Order," Lara smiled back at him.

"Oh yes. I hear your Commander is the main influence for that." He sneered.

"He influenced the other men. Again, the Inquisition is their second chance as much as it is yours," Lara replied, ignoring his dig.

"He accuses me of being loyal to that thing but he's still a little Chantry boy. He's still loyal to them. Piss on it!" He spat angrily.

"I doubt that considering he stopped taking lyrium," Lara rolled her eyes. His spitting was getting old.

"Hmm," An evil smirk played on his lips and Lara immediately dreaded it.

"Perhaps I also doubt considering he took a mage as his lover," He snarled.

The way he spoke it. The way he looked at her. Fear crept up in every corner of her body.

He knows…

Samson now laughed, throwing his head back.

"Never thought Cullen would be one to fulfill a mage fantasy. I knew he had one," Samson shook his head, still laughing.

"What the Commander does in his spare time is none of my concern," Lara spoke firmly.

"Don't play stupid, bitch," Samson reared at her response. "We both know you're more intelligent than that."

"Our conversation is done here," Lara nodded as she turned to leave.

His words were crawling under her skin, taking hold of her insecurities. Was she just a mage fantasy to him? Was he just playing out their time together till the Inquisition ended? It couldn't be. He had wanted her to meet his family after all. Her footsteps echoed on the cold stones as the silence was deafening. Until he spoke again…

"Has Cullen ever told you how many mages he's killed?" He drawled, amusement in his tone.

No, no, no…

She was not ready for the blow that Samson had just dealt. Her feet froze at his words, horror sinking into her body. She wanted to run, to escape the truth, but her legs betrayed her as they held her in place. She felt everything crumbling around her as her breathing became shallow.

"Five. Want to know their names?" He continued.

Unwanted images rolled through her head. Cullen in his Templar uniform, hand ready at the sword watching mages attend their Harrowing, expecting them to fail. Waiting for them to fail so he can strike. The same way his arm had thrown that knife at the dummy, his arm shoved his sword through an innocent mage who was met with a terrible fate. She could feel the blade, see the blood, hear the screams. Nausea overtook her.

"I'm not sure of the exact order but there was…" Samson's voice drowned out.

He listed the names one by one, torturing her with each one. Thankfully, none of the names were familiar to her. Shock took hold of her just the same as the truth smacked her right in the face. The very truth she refused to come to terms with. The very truth that prevented her from letting herself go all in with him. The last thread she held onto to keep him at a distance. Now she had to face it.

Move Lara. Get out of here. Now!

Her feet felt like concrete as she moved them. The heavyweight of the truth being carried in her body, weighing her down. She didn't realize she was at the top of the stairs until Rylen called to her.

"Bloody hell you're pale…what happened? Oi lass, can you hear me?" Rylen waved a hand in front of her face.

She stared at Rylen blankly, wondering how many mages had fallen because of him, too. How many had bled on his sword? She carried on, making her way to her quarters, where she could shield herself from the world and all the evil it had to offer. The truth was haunting her despite the fact that she had known this. Now it was clear to her, it held weight. It was the very thing she was avoiding and now there was no way out.

—-

She remained in her quarters, not having the energy to move out of her bed. She denied dinner although the elf that had served her in Haven when she first stumbled there left her a tray anyways and quickly brought in Dorian at her request. She recognized his footsteps ascending the stairs and didn't know whether to feel relieved or to tell him she changed her mind.

"I know this already. We're hiding from the world," Dorian stated as he made his way over to her.

Lara couldn't respond. She wanted to cry so bad but couldn't. The shock was too overwhelming.

"He murdered five mages," Was all she said.

Dorian let out a sigh. "Please don't tell me this comes as a shock."

"I know their names…"

"And pray, who told you this?" Dorian arched an eyebrow.

"Samson."

"Maker's Breath…you went to speak with the monster? What were you even hoping to accomplish?" Dorian scolded her.

"I don't know. I just…felt compelled. Maybe get something out of him," Lara couldn't even look at him.

"Oh, you got something out of him alright. Pleased with yourself, are you? Cullen is going to lose his mind when he finds out," Dorian shook his head frustrated.

A loud banging on the door interrupted their conversation. Another bang. Followed by another, each banging more desperate than the last.

"Inquisitor?!" It was Cullen. His voice sounded desperate.

Lara scrunched her face in pain at the sound of his voice. Dorian let out a sigh as he made his way to the staircase.

"Where are you going?" She sat up, panicked.

"To put the man out of his misery," Dorian gave her a look.

"Don't let him in here…please…" She hugged herself, shaking her head.

Dorian descended down and opened the door. She tiptoed towards the stairs to hear the conversation, her heart beating furiously in her chest.

"Gentlemen," Dorian greeted.

"Where is she?" Cullen asked urgently.

"Inside, please. Let's not entertain our guests," Dorian responded.

Lara could hear footsteps and the door closing behind them. Her heart pounded painfully causing her to clutch her chest. She prayed Dorian wouldn't betray her.

"She is upstairs, but I am under strict orders to not let anyone in," Dorian answered.

"But you're here?" Rylen spoke.

Rylen must've fucking told him…

"I was specifically requested," Dorian smirked.

"No…I need to speak with her now. Please," Cullen begged, his voice cracking.

"I'm aware this is about Samson…" Dorian started.

"Then you'll understand why he needs to speak with her," Rylen interrupted.

"Has no one taught you that it's rude to interrupt?" Dorian retorted.

"Cullen, you have to understand the weight of what she's just been told. I will say it again as I did once to you in Haven; she needs time. She will come around eventually," Dorian finished softly.

"It will be too late…" Cullen sighed.

Rylen muttered under his breath.

"I need to hear it from her…Lara!" He called out.

Her hand covered her mouth to stop any sounds from betraying her. Her heart shattered into a million painful pieces as he called out her name. It sounded so broken, so lost. The terrifying emotions resurfaced and there was nothing holding them back.

I love you, Lara Trevelyan.

Those million pieces shattered further as his words replayed in her head.

I love you too…

The words echoed in her mind and the truth behind them weighed so heavily, it exhausted her. She wanted to tell him so she could free herself of it, but the words betrayed her, especially now.

"My dear, I know you're in shock, but you have to say something," Dorian broke the silence.

Taking a gasp of air, her voice broke as she spoke.

"I can't….I'm sorry…"

She was met with silence except for her heart beating wildly. Cullen's next words took her breath away.

"I will wait for as long as you need. I will wait forever if I have to. For as long as the Maker grants me," His voice broke at the last few words.

The tears suddenly came and wouldn't stop.

—-

"I hate to say it, but I think you need the elf's wisdom more than mine," Dorian comforted her as they sat with a bottle of wine on her balcony.

Lara couldn't even laugh.

"You know the Bull has killed my kind before. There's no point in letting it squander what we have. Hell, who even knows what our future holds after this is all over," He said after taking a long sip.

"How do you overcome it?" Lara took a large gulp, not caring about etiquette. She needed numbness more than anything else.

"The truth is the truth. I went into it knowing that about him, much like you already knew Cullen had killed a mage at some point. You chose the Templar package and that's what comes with it," He gave her a wink.

She took another big gulp of wine and refilled her glass.

"We're going to need another bottle at this rate," Dorian remarked.

"I won't complain."

"Please tell me you're not leaving him," He arched an eyebrow.

"No…I-I love him…" Another gulp of wine.

"My, it seems like we need that second bottle after all," Dorian stood up and went to find the elf.

Dorian had a point. Perhaps there was even more blood between their people than there was between Templars and Mages yet that didn't seem to come between Bull and Dorian. Could she forgive him? Perhaps this was what she needed to overcome it. To choose him over his past. To let go of his past. She already knew, but Samson's words confirmed it for her. Pain ached in her chest and she couldn't understand why people fell in love. If it was this painful, she hated it.

"Ah, to be young and experience your first heartbreak," Dorian commented as he sat down with another bottle of wine.

Lara rolled her eyes. "I'm twenty-six."

"My words still stand. Have you told him you love him?"

Lara shook her head.

"And no surprise there," He commented as he poured himself another glass.

"The man you fell in love with is not the man he once was. Remember that," He raised his glass to her and took a sip.

Deep down, she knew that. The same boy that departed Ferelden with nothing more than his brother's coin in his pocket was not the man that she now knew. Along the way that boy had been broken down in more ways than she could have imagined and still served as Commander to a mage. He easily could have walked away, could have demanded to not serve her, but he stood loyal to her since they first met. The Inquisition was his atonement, his way to rectify the wrongs of his past, to make peace with his past. She was his atonement. He killed out of necessity, out of training, otherwise they would have killed him. He did what he did to survive. His actions were fueled by the Chantry who didn't care how much Cullen had been tortured and scarred. The same Chantry who would have casted him aside like they did Samson when they no longer had a use for him.

Deep down she also knew that no matter how much she tried to run from him, she would always end up choosing him. Again and again. For as long as the Maker granted her.