Awake.

Relieved from watch hours ago, Maesus was still so vividly wide awake. She lay on her back on the sleeping mat, looking up at the silver of the cornucopia ceiling and tapping her fingers on the sponsor gift tin sitting on her stomach. It felt so silly to hide it from the others. Mirra had practically requested a bar of soap hours before it arrived. But Catalena's attached message seemed as though it were extended to the other girls if she tried sharing the gift. How could she explain it wasn't selfishness but in preservation of their self-respect? Would they even care?

She tapped her right index three times, her left pointer twice on the metal. Every time she looked at the bar of soap it reminded her that the Capitol was paying attention now; a sponsor gifted her something that could be seen as more of an excess than a commodity. If she dropped the sexual act now, she could screw herself over completely when she really did need something.

But, she didn't have to be sexy and weak.

Maesus closed her eyes, recalling the memory of her interview with Flickerman days before and the perception the Capitol was given. It wasn't out of the ordinary for a tribute to 'step up' during the game, unsheathing skills they otherwise kept hidden. If anything, it'd invigorate sponsor interest if she maintained a sensual air while actually proving herself as a capable survivor.'..I know how to handle an animal.' She'd told nose twitched in disgust. 'From Milk Maiden to Femme Fatale'.

District 10 would understand, they'd have to. Catalena, Colt and Alejero had all done what they had to; she was no different. But would her family accept such a reasoning, her parents? If she wasn't already shunned by god, she'd no doubt he'd stop listening to her prayers soon.

Her tapping on the tin became quicker, more rhythmic as she considered this switch in gears. Even if she never sees Blais in the games, if miraculously he's taken out by another tribute and she survives, her aunt and uncle would never speak to her again. No parade or feast for the entire district would quell the gossip bound to spread. Maesus didn't think any of them would believe her if she revealed it was Blais who didn't want to work together in the arena. That it was Kane who approached her for an alliance or that she purposefully chose a skill that gave her such a low score. They would only see the story spun by the Capitol; footage edited as it's shown and a whole story created once the victor was crowned.

Strong or weak, and a temptress. Were there no better roles for her in this game?

"SIX O'CLOCK, LAKYN. SIX O'- SHIT!"

Jolting up from where she lay, Maesus tossed the tin aside and scrambled to grab one of the spears kept right beside her sleep mat at all times. Not bothering to slip her shoes back on, the girl stumbled out from her semi-private space and heard even more shouting just beyond the perimeter of their base.

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Calder was still asleep on his mat, curled up in the exact same position as when she last saw him. Another yell. With a tighter grip on her spear, she stepped just out onto the edge of the sand and ignored how it burned the bottoms of her feet. Lakyn and Mirra were standing strong with their weapons drawn, taking offensive moves to make their attacker back towards the rushing river.

Matted shoulder length blonde hair had blood dyed into it, part of his arena uniform was missing and she realized he was covered in thin, deep slashes. From his face to his hands, there wasn't an inch of his skin left untouched by whatever had come for him. Blood dripped off his finger tips as he swung a medium sized sword, the attack had to have been recent.

A solitary glimpse of his face and she recognized him as the male tribute from District 9, Graham.

Mae's heart began to race in her ears, eyes switching between Lakyn and Mirra as they continued to advance on the boy. He had no chance in this fight of two against one, three on one would be overkill. She took a solid step back onto the cornucopia metal.

Grip loosening on the spear and head tilting back down to where Calder lay so very still, she bent down before him. Lakyn had replaced the bandages on his head three times a day since the blood bath, staving on infection but doing nothing for the clear brain damage. With medical intervention he may have had a chance, but here, they were just delaying his suffering. Her eyebrows knit together and she sat on her knees, trying to watch his chest rise to no avail.

"Calder?"

Gently hitting him with the stick of the spear, he still didn't sir. Another glance back and she could see Graham was still managing to hold off the other two girls. Her attention returned to Calder. Crouching her head down close to his face, she felt the smallest warm breath caress her cheek and confirmed sign of life. His breathing was wheezed and uneven, he'd been asleep for nearly eleven hours now! Mae's eyes drifted to the spear in her hands.

Horses, cows, every animal experienced illness or injury of some kind. Killing in the name of ending suffering and pain, it was a mercy. It was sinful, if anything, to watch them suffer and do nothing about it. Her hands shook, spear raising. He wouldn't feel fear and she could make it quick! At this rate he was going to be dead, if not by his injury then by Mirra once they became the final four.

Doing this would salvage supplies and allow them to travel, rather than be bound to the base Calder couldn't leave. Mirra would be happy it was done and Lakyn could either forgive, or turn on the alliance. She had to do this!

Rising to dig her knees into the floor and hold the spear tight, hands nearer the blade, she stared down at the boy. All the times she'd done this before. It was important now more than over.

'Spash!'

Thick curls of hair whipped around her face to see Mirra standing above Graham, his body partially submerged in the water as he tried to scramble. It was too late. A knife was embedded in his chest, again and again. Laughter was louder than the cannon and Mae had to turn away from the sight of Mirra practically ripping open Graham's chest with the knife. It was sickening how excited she was to be killing again. So much so, it returned Maesus to reality.

To the fact she still sat right there beside Calder, spear raised ready to put him out of his misery. No.

Her hands began shaking violently, the weapon cast aside as she backed away from the sleeping boy to sit on the sand. Neither of her allies appeared to have noticed her lapse in judgement, Mirra only now rising from where she sat atop the District 9 male. Her face wore the brightest smile, blood flecked across her face and closing as she cleaned her knife off on the material of her pants. Desperately gripping the hot sands that flowed between her fingers, she couldn't help but wonder if that's what she was becoming. Motivated to kill, eager.

"How's he doing?"

Looking up from where she sat, the sunlight blocked out as Lakyn stood in front of her, Maesus tried to settle her racing mind. She buried her hands deep in the sand, attempting to hide how much they shook. "Still sleepin', it seems..."

Unable to bring her voice anywhere above a mutter, she couldn't bring herself to look into Lakyn's eyes. She'd taken such good care of her district partner while still fishing for the alliance, helping to fight off other tributes. Lakyn was such a good person and the thought shamed Maesus momentarily. Except, the line of victors past reminded her that no good person won the hunger games. No one was truly good in the whole of Panem, and if they were, they were already dead.

"Thanks for watching him during all that. I was worried he'd be a target.." The blonde sighed wispily, carefully sitting beside the boy with a look of concern. "His sleep patterns keep getting deeper but it's hard to watch over him all the time. I'm glad you don't feel the same as Mirra." Reaching out, she placed a soft hand on Mae's but the brunette quickly shook away the touch.

"Don't be."

Disappointed and a bit confused, Lakyn returned her attention to Calder and cautiously shifted his bandages. Laser focused on the incoming helicarrier, Maesus didn't spare either District 4 tributes another glance before rising to her feet and striding across the warm sands. It burned the pads of her heels and her toes sunk beneath the grains. Really she should have grabbed her shoes but she felt it best to avoid Calder for the time being and it would be too weird to turn back around now.

The helicarrier became deafening the closer it came to their base, sweeping up small dust storms and causing the river thrash. Its claw had begun lowering by the time Maesus came to stand beside Mirra, feet now cooled against the mossy stone submerged in the water. Graham's corpse was surrounded by deepening shades of red, the claw taking up some of the riverbed stones and dirt as it collected the boy. Standing there together in silence, the two girls watched his arm swing limply from the edge of the claw that began retreating off into the horizon. Watching for too long and they were blinded by the sun, unable to watch any longer.

"You should have done it." Mirra said, unprompted and now staring intently at Maesus. Then she stalked off towards the cornucopia.

"...covered in scratches? Must have been the squirrels..." Calder muttered over a plate of freshly roasted fish, Maesus staring at him deadpan from across the licking flames of their fire pit. After what had been an uncomfortably warm nap and 'debrief' with their de facto leader, Mirra, the seventh day was bordering on dusk and Calder was still talking about the least bothersome creature of the arena.

There was a high possibility that what happened to Graham was related to squirrels, but then why hadn't the many burrowed around the cornucopia come for their alliance? All the food they'd cooked and they were just left alone by these ground squirrels that could apparently shred their skin? All three girls agreed it was more likely the boy had been attacked by another tribute or from something much larger. In a desert environment there was no end to what beasts the Capitol may have placed in the arena; the fact they hadn't once seen a rattler was already strange.

"Uh..hmmm..." Maesus' hummed, unwilling to argue considering what she'd nearly done to him earlier that day. It was still difficult just to look at him. After fourteen whole hours, Calder had woken up and walked directly into the river. He was dry now, fed thanks to Lakyn, and now he was her responsibility.

Maybe Mirra was right.

"...you don't believe me..." He muttered, taking another bite with his eyes burning a hole into the side of her head. Looking back at him in surprise, she sputtered. "I-I do! They just.. they gotta be mutated or some'thang 'cause they tore him apart!"

Calder still didn't seem pleased, silently chewing on his food and watching the fire.

"It don't matter much anyway, they leave us alone it seems."

"For now."

Watching him long and hard, unable to tell if maybe he was more alert than he was letting on, Maesus sighed. "...for now.."

There was no sense arguing with him about it. Given he only had a few days left, if that, it would be easier to just agree and focus on day to day survival. Twelve tributes remained now, their own food supply would begin to run low in a few days even with Lakyn's frequent fishing. Not to mention Mirra still showed how anxious she was to track down the other tributes. Sooner or later there would be another fight and she had more to worry about than Calder. Or what she almost did for the sake of winning.

Leaning back with her palms laid flat against the sand, Mae's hazel eyes lifted up towards the rising moon. It's waning crescent cast faint illuminations and highlighted the few clouds dotting the arena's sky. Gaze shifting towards the river and the small bit of dam left from her evening with Kane, she shot a glance back to Calder again.

His eyelids were drooping and he certainly appeared tired, though it was the norm nowadays. It wasn't like he'd pay her too much attention anyways, it would be dark enough at the river bank that the only audience she should have is the Capitol. Her District. Her Family and Friends. She should've surrendered in the blood bath.

"Mirra's got next watch if you wanna rest up. I'ma clean m'self up and probably fill the canteens."

With that she rose to her feet while grabbing her canteen, spear, and the foil-like folded blanket she'd previously been sat on. Before the sun could fully set she set her stuff right beside the stream, knowing the moment she finished her little 'performance' she'd be shivering. Just removing her shoes, socks, and pants to resposition a few more rocks for high water coverage sent a chill up her spine. Though it was worth it as the night plunged her into darkness and she could comfortably remove her underwear.

Lowered into the water with gritted teeth, she raised her shirt the further she submerged her body before finally removing it and her bra off completely. Her tanned skin was covered in goosebumps, nipples hard and hands shaking. With all her clothes flung to the shoreline, spear just within reach, Maesus took a deep breath and submerged herself completely.

For how quick the water raced, it was soothing beneath the muffled rushing that surrounded her. She'd never learned to swim but she could float and she could hold her breath. And the longer all of her remained beneath the surface, the warmer she began to feel.

Exhaling bubbles out in front of herself, she finally emerged from the river again and pushed back the drenched curls sticking to her face. With shuddering shoulders, Maesus wadded towards the shore with her knees kept high to avoid scratching her feet on the jagged rocks hidden in the dark waters. Left open for easier access was her tin of bar soap and the smallest possible hand towel, both so pristine they were practically gleaming in the little bit of moonlight. Catalena's message had been crumbled up and trashed but it still repeated itself in Mae's ears as she grabbed the soap bar.

Truthfully, she didn't know what she was doing.

It wasn't as though she'd performed in such a way before, nor did she know exactly what angles the hidden cameras would have of her. All she could do was hope tonight would win enough favor among her sponsors that they wouldn't think twice about sending her another gift when it came down to it. If only she could still her shaking hands.

Suds slipped down her bare skin as the bar was now being run along the back of her neck, over her shoulder and delicately across her collarbone. 'Top to bottom, top to bottom..' She repeated in her head, ignoring how very cold her skin felt and how very blue the tips of her fingers appeared. Cupping a handful of water to splash across her chest and closing her eyes as it slid down back to the river's surface, Maesus closed her eyes. To the observer it may have appeared she enjoyed her performance, was resting and relishing in how nice being clean felt. In reality, she tried to imagine she was anywhere else.

Hands gliding down against her skin, she spread the soap down across her breasts and stomach slowly. Fingers trailing just across her nipples, she felt skittish at her own touch.

Eyes firmly closed, Maesus listened for any sound besides that of the river and distant crackling of their fire pit. Danger still lay on the back of her mind especially as Calder would be likely asleep by now. If she were approached her spear would be handy and, in the event of a male tribute, she was certain her lack of clothing may actually be of use. But if their camp was raided, if someone got brave enough to enter the cornucopia while the other three were sleeping?

Her face scrunched up and she reminded herself that they were the Careers; they were made for this.

With a deep inhale, she slowly rose the soap bar up against her lower belly and navel. Rising, rising until she hit the overhand of her breasts and squirmed the soap bar between. How she hoped the darkness hid her sense of disgust. Peaking out from between her cleavage now, the soap was out of her hands and she pressed her breasts together to make it push up even more.

To touch herself so sensually, so explicitly.

Sinking further down so that she was submerged until just below the chest, her elbows rose up and she stuffed down her shame. The pressure of her hands against either breast deepened at once and her eyes flew open at the feeling of the soap disappearing altogether. She looked down at her chest now covered in suds, hands releasing their grip and falling at her sides. The smallest plop, splash to her left indicated it was still nearby though.

"..Ay, fuck.." The girl muttered, outstretching either arm to wade across the surface in hopes of finding the item in the dark. Her eyes squinted and moved slowly, keeping within the boundary of her dammed off 'pool'. Within seconds the small, sudsy white bar turned projectile was back in her hands as she went to replace it with the hand towel from the tin. The microfiber took a minute to fully absorb any water, her body tensing up as she scrubbed her arms with the material. All the rags back home were made from old cut up clothing or sheets, any material that could be spared and yet it was still softer than this. Maesus nonetheless worked her way down, pausing just above her stomach before taking another nervous glance in every direction.

There wasn't a chance they'd actually put cameras in the river, right? It was far too dark and wouldn't provide too useful of footage; plus it's not like the gamemakers knew she'd ever be playing an angle. Once her hand slipped beneath the water, the brunette didn't really have to do anything; just fake it.

By now she'd become comfortable being naked and exposed from the waist up, even as a breeze left her shivering. She was frozen.

On one hand, she could solidify interest and sponsorship with an act that would mark her truly as 'La Putilla de Diaz'. On the other hand there was no guarantee she was making it out of the arena alive and pretending to masturbate for the entirety of Panem to see would not be something that died with her. Communities in 10 were tight-knit with how far apart the sectors were; her family would be shunned if she went that far. Maesus clenched the wash cloth a bit tighter, then began running it up her body again to lazily push her left breast up before it bounced back down.

Clean skin and a soft lavender scent was a blessing given the circumstances but her sponsors got their show.

Tossing the washcloth onto the shoreline without much interest in keeping it, Maesus flinched at the sound of a cannon and crouched back down in the water. Only her head remained poked out, eyes searching the area and trying to look for movement at the cornucopia. A second cannon quickly followed and she kept low, grabbing the spear from the shore and remaining absolutely silent.

Minutes passed slow and she only dared to stand up again when she heard the nocturnal creatures begin their evening symphony. In the low, glowing light of the fire pit she caught a shorter shadow walking in front of the mouth of the cornucopia.

"Mirra..." Maesus mumbled softly, taking a solid breath and relishing one last time in how warm it was to be completely submerged in the river. Then she rose up, water splashing around her as she walked to the shoreline to grab the foil blanket and wrap it around herself. It barely covered from tit to thigh but Mirra was approaching her with Calder's trident drawn, unable to make out who she was in the darkness and advancing quick. Spear thrown to the side in favor of the 'blanket', she tucked the material beneath her armpits and ignored the cold breeze on her exposed ass cheeks. Hands thrown defensively in the air, she called loudly.

"It's me, it's Mae!"

"Who?"

Eye twitching in annoyance, a genuine smile graced her lips and she responded. "The 'pig fucker', who else?" A quiet laugh from the shadow, the smallest bit of moonlight shining on the metal of the trident as Mirra lowered it down.

"What happened? Who went down?"

"I don't know." Wrapping her arms around herself as if it would do anything to warm her skin. "I was cleanin' up and heard both of 'em go off quick. Is Calder-?"

"No, he's fine." Mirra interrupted. "And 'cleaning up'?" Maesus could just make an amused expression on the other girl's face and rolled her eyes, bending down to grab her clothes. "Bathin', whatever you wanna call it." Raising one foot to balance and struggle getting her still damp left through the sock and then pants, Maesus nearly fell over before she finally straightened out again. Dressed from the waist down, and growing annoyed with the foil rubbing against her already cold nipples, she let the blanket fall to the sands beneath them. Mirra whistled, tilting her head and even putting her hands out as though lining up the shot for a photograph.

"Well damn, 10. Just throwing away the entire prudish charade all at once?"

Shared laughter broke through the still of the night, Maesus raising her arms to struggling into the bra. "I figured why bother acting like they hadn't seen it all already." Her wet hair clung to her neck and back, its length almost doubled from being soaked through. "'Sides, one of my sponsors took your seg-sugjes-" She paused, swallowing thickly. "'Sug-jest-tion'..? You gotta help me out here."

"No, no, that's... close enough." She snorted. "What possessed you to go skinny dippy to get clean?"

Careful so as not to completely drench the clothes that were finally starting to warm her up, Maesus wrung out her hair and tried to carefully section her hair in the process. "A sponsor, actually." Once no more water could be wrung from the curls, she slipped on her shirt and jacket. "They took your suggestion." Grabbing the metal tin from where it still sat so neatly atop a rock, she held it out for Mirra to take. "Oh, it also..." Humming as her eyes danced over the dark ground and picking up the wash cloth when it came into view, she wrung out the water and folded it into a neat square. "They also sent a cloth, here, but frankly." She held up the square with a serious expression. "This is the worst thing that has ever touched my body."

Mirra took it gingerly, running her thumb over the material with a furrowed brow. "Kinda odd you make a point of letting things touch your body..." Scoffing and hitting the younger girls' arm, Maesus grabbed her spear with a smile and a very strange feeling in her chest.

"Oh fuck off!" She said playfully, walking back towards the cornucopia and being elated Mirra followed her.

Much of the playful banter between them was akin to how Kane had spoken to Maesus, to the way just about every man had spoken to her since she first began filling out. It was objectifying and put her in a shameful position. But the way Mirra spoke, how her eyes met her face before her body, it made the comments uplifting. Nothing made a girl's self confidence soar than another female's compliments, when another girl took in the whole of what she saw.

"I don't mean nothing by it, it's a beautiful body you've got there!"

Moments before she'd been freezing, shivering even. Now Mae's entire body was warmed, radiating out from her chest and reddening her entire face. Mirra just continued talking.

"You just make it too easy." She chastised, tightening the lid of the tin and shoving it into her pocket. "Come on!" Grabbing Maesus' hand to take to around the side of the cornucopia, she tapped her hand gently on the side. "We might still be able to catch sight of the helicarrier and get an idea of where the deaths happened. Give me a boost?"

Mae still couldn't get over how much her hand was tingling, trying to internally justify it as the temperature difference from her previously near bluing fingers now wrapped in a warm hand. Intertwined, separating only now as Maesus bent down on one knee and braced herself for Mirra's weight on her leg. Though it never came. A small tilt in her head, wet coils slid across her forehead as she looked back up. Mirra's hand was still clasped on her shoulder, foot placed on her thigh but when she leaned in she never pushed up. Her face was inches away and her eyes were closed. Pursing her lips, the brunette closed her own eyes.

"You smell nice." Mirra said finally, her exhaled breath warming up the older girl's cheeks.

Despite keeping her eyes firmly shut, Maesus could feel Mirra staring at her through her eyelids and instinctively shifted her head to face the ground. "T-Thanks..soap, ya know! Does wonders."

Feeling Mirra's weight dig into her thigh and shoulder, she finally straightened herself up to give the girl a boost. Once their touch had been disconnected, her hazel eyes reopened and she shook out her shoulders. Why did it feel like her heart was ready to burst out her chest? It didn't matter. A hand was already outstretched towards her and she took it eagerly, a shock of electricity running from the tip of her finger right into the pit of her stomach. Scrambling to sit atop the cooling metal of the cornucopia, she followed Mirra to sit up against the tail of the structure.

Being stuck in a desert arena gave them the significant advantage, it was flat and lacking much foliage no matter which direction they looked. Parts of the basin were cast in shadow by the surrounding mountains, the areas too darkened to make out though so low to the ground that when helicarrier emerged from the darkness they had a general idea of where the bodies had been picked up.

"Looks like the cave dweller fights back." Mirra declared, her gaze following the aircraft before it completely disappeared and her head fell onto Mae's shoulder.

"You think it's a cave they're in?"

"Gotta be. With a cave they can be confident enough to have a fire that doesn't draw too much attention, safe from the elements, and that mountain base is fairly close to the river. If not a cave then a mirage." Mirra yawned, head still firmly planted on the older girl's shoulder and eventually Maesus relaxed into it.

"Maybe the cave dwellers were killed and it's a new tribute moving in."

"Mhm." Mirra hummed. "Maybe."

A comfortable silence befell the girls. Within the hour the Capitol's anthem would play from all ends of the desert, images of the fallen lighting up the sky. Before Graham, they learned it was both tributes from District 5 that had been killed together. Maesus' heart clenched at the sight of the boy, his name unknown to her but his age no more than twelve. She thought about Tonie back home, about her sisters, and leaned further into the comfort of Mirra beside her.