Chapter Nineteen: The Jewelry Thieves Alter Course
As The Powerpuff Girls and Underdog were flying through the skies of Townsville and Capitol City to search for any leads on who may have taken the jewelry, the actual thieves themselves, Simon Bar Sinister and Cad Lackey, were seen in their boat celebrating their successful breach of the Temple of Reckoning and the procurement of the power jewelry, the Forbidden Necklace and the Bracelets of Despair. They were playing air guitar in their boat as "Can't Stop Rockin'" by ZZ Top was playing, singing and dancing along to the song.
"Whoo! Fuck yeah!" Simon shouted out excitedly as he high fived Cad.
"Rock on, boss!" Cad shouted out excitedly as both villains continued to celebrate to the music.
Simon and Cad had the song on repeat as they both played air guitar throughout, though after seven long loops, they eventually tired out.
"Fucking awesome!" Cad said. "Shall we smoke one, boss?" Cad then asked with Simon simply nodding.
"Yes, of course, Cad! Roll up a fat fucking blunt!" Simon answered.
Cad took out a massive bag of marijuana with some rolling papers. He took some pieces of marijuana and meticulously rolled them up into a very fat marijuana cigarette, or a blunt as it was widely known, for him and Simon to share. Cad grabbed a lighter as Simon put the blunt to his mouth, Cad lighting it up and Simon beginning to smoke. After two puffs, Simon passed it to Cad, who then put the blunt to his mouth and began to smoke. After two puffs of his own, Cad passed it back to Simon with both men repeating the process.
"Gotta get the proper song for this occasion, boss!" Cad suggested.
Cad walked over to the music player inside of the boat and scrolled through the massive selection of songs, grinning as he found a song fitting to their occasion. It was Afroman's "Because I Got High", a popular song for marijuana enthusiasts all over the world. Both villains started to nod their heads and laughed hard.
"Hey, check this out, Cad!" Simon said.
Simon found a small instrumental part of the song and waited for the opportunity to sing a parody verse of the popular song.
"I was gonna say fuck it all, but then I got high. I was sayin' you win Underdog, but then I got high. Now I'm gonna rule the world, and I know why!" Simon sung to the tune of the song.
"Why boss, hey hey!" Cad sung to the tune of the song.
"Because I got high! Because I got high! Because I got high! La da da da da da da!" Both men sung together to the tune of the song, getting in a very long laugh afterwards.
The two villains continued their very long venture back to Capitol City, still basking in their success in busting through the once-thought impenetrable temple. They were still several hours away, so they had nothing but time to let it sink all the way in. They simply relaxed with huge smiles on their faces, the boat on autopilot and just listening to the calm waves of the Atlantic.
"So Cad, anybody you have in mind for the three females to join us?" Simon inquired to break the silence, Cad rubbing his chin in thought.
"Well, there's of course Dinah Mite, the best bomb tosser in the business." Cad answered.
"Aaargh, that fucking whore." Simon said in a bit of disgust. "She's been tossing more than fucking bombs."
"Yeah, boss, I guess I could use a salad too." Cad said with both villains laughing at the small pun.
"Sure, she's a good lay and all, but we're gonna need three ladies that will focus on the real prize of ruling the fucking world." Simon said.
"Maybe Dinah knows two other chicks that can be on our side. She's worth a shot." Cad said.
"Sure thing, Cad. It's definitely on the top of the to-do list when we get back to Capitol City." Simon said.
"Yeah, boss, about that, I worry about something else." Cad mentioned.
"Cad, I ain't got no fucking worries." Simon said. "Just what the fuck can go wrong?"
"Boss, I fear that Underdog could give us a welcoming committee the very second we set foot back in Capitol City." Cad answered. "Underdog knows where to find us. And if and when he does, all that shit we just did back there will be for nothing. So I suggest we stay one step ahead and go elsewhere."
"Hmmmm, you do have a point there, Cad." Simon said in agreement. "But where the fuck are we gonna go that's reasonably close?"
"Let me take a look at the map real quick and see where can go, boss." Cad answered.
Cad pinpointed their current location in the Atlantic and did some deep research on cities that may be a good substitute for Capitol City that the villains could head to. Cad found quite a few, though they were very far away from their current location in relation to continuing to Capitol City, so he kept on looking. It took Cad a good 30 minutes, but he did stumble upon a place that had docks where they could park their boat. Cad waved Simon over to the map, Simon walking over just as he was finishing rolling up another blunt.
"Boss, check this one out." Cad said. "A city called Townsville. It's a little bit out of our route, but we could lay low there for a while and no one would know who we are there."
"Hmmmm, interesting." Simon said as he tapped his chin in thought. "Underdog for sure has never heard of it let alone set foot in it, so I think we can make that work, Cad." Simon then agreed.
"Shall I reroute us there, boss?" Cad asked with Simon nodding.
"Go ahead, Cad. It seems like a good area to find our three ladies." Simon confirmed.
Cad punched in Townsville's coordinates into the GPS. Compared to continuing on to Capitol City, it would add an extra two hours to their travel time, which Simon and Cad nodded to. Simon turned the boat to take them on the route to Townsville, making sure he had set a good rhythm before he allowed the autopilot to take over again.
"Underdog will never find us there. We need to take a day or two to lay low before we start assembling our three ladies, Cad." Simon said.
"Right boss. There's bound to be somebody there. Let's go!" Cad said.
After a very long and lengthy trek through the Atlantic, the villains got to Citiesville, where they simply passed under the Citiesville Bridge. Just minutes later, the villainous duo made it to the docks of Townsville.
Simon and Cad looked up at the enormous skyline of Townsville, easily three times as large as what they were used to at Capitol City. It was also a stark contrast to what they were used to. The City of Townsville was far more modern and flashy. It hosted a much younger generation and was much faster paced than the more laid back style of Capitol City. There was a robust public transportation system with city buses, subways, trams, the works. There were many billboards, normal and electronic, all around the city. Capitol City prided itself on its phone booths and kept their robust phone booth infrastructure intact, though they had their residents there that used smartphones. Townsville, in contrast, lacked phone booths with their residents putting 100% reliance on smartphones.
As Simon and Cad were pulling up, they caught a glimpse of an electronic billboard of a familiar sight, and the very thing that Townsville was known for. Also, in the general area of where Simon and Cad were pulling up, Cherish's "Chemical X" was playing.
"Hey, boss, aren't those the three little girls we saw in the temple?" Cad inquired.
"Shit, that IS them!" Simon answered. "The….Powderpuff Girls?"
"Um, I think that's Powerpuff, boss." Cad said to correct Simon.
"Fuck! If those bitches see us, we are D-O-N-E Fucked!" Simon said angrily. "Cad, turn this mother fucker around and find another city NOW!" Simon then ordered.
"Whoa, whoa, hold your potatoes, boss. I got another idea." Cad mentioned. "I brought along a few things to disguise us. We can REALLY go undercover in this big ass city, something we can't really do in Capitol City."
"Cad, you are the fucking man!" Simon replied. "That is some excellent fucking thinking. Now the Powerpuff Girls or Underdog will never see us. We can hide in plain fucking sight!"
Both Simon and Cad changed out of their usual attire and into clothing that fit the younger generation of Townsville, forgoing their lab coat-like attire in favor of clothes consisting of popular Gen Z phrases such as "No Cap", "Sus", "Boujee", "Bussin'", "Mid", among many others. Their boots were replaced with basketball sneakers. To prevent anyone from distinguishing their faces, they drastically altered their features. Cad dyed his hair into a rainbow color while Simon simply put a Nike baseball cap on backwards. Both villains also donned aviator sunglasses. To further conceal their identity, they put on a good bit of male makeup. Simon and Cad looked in the mirror, and while they both weren't pleased with their looks, they were completely unrecognizable.
"We look like shit, Cad." Simon said as he shook his head in disgust.
"These damn kids today are trying too fucking hard to look pretty, boss." Cad added.
"Agreed, Cad." Simon said. "Just what in the fuck do "No Cap" and "Sus" mean?!"
"Your guess is as good as mine, boss. I have zero fucking clue." Cad answered.
"Yeah, but no one would know us now." Simon said. "Come on and let's check this fucking place out!"
Simon and Cad stepped out of the boat and walked into mainland Townsville, taking in the many sights and doing some window shopping at the luxurious stores, mingling with the locals and just trying to blend right in to the City of Townsville.
END OF CHAPTER NINETEEN
Music Credits
Song Artist/Source: ZZ Top
Song Title/Source: Can't Stop Rockin'
Year Song Released: 1985
When Played: Inside Simon Bar Sinister and Cad Lackey's boat as they were celebrating.
Song Artist/Source: Afroman
Song Title/Source: Because I Got High
Year Song Released: 2000
When Played: Inside Simon Bar Sinister and Cad Lackey's boat as they were celebrating.
Song Artist/Source: Cherish
Song Title/Source: Chemical X
Year Song Released: 2003
When Played: As Simon Bar Sinister and Cad Lackey were pulling up to the Townsville docks.