Chapter Twenty-Three: Townsville's Got Talent (And Two Evil Guests)
"Welcome, Townsville, to the third annual Townsville's Got Talent! So glad you can join us on this fine day!" The mayor of Townsville said on the microphone as he was hyping up the crowd inside of the Townsville Amphitheater. "We've got a load of acts that are ready to show off their skills and talents to you, the great citizens of Townsville. Is everyone ready?"
The very large crowd inside of the Townsville Amphitheater all cheered. But deep, very deep in the background, in the highest section of the amphitheater, the disguised perpetrators of the Temple of Reckoning jewelry heist were in attendance, blending right into the crowd seamlessly as they played their roles as visitors to the tee. It was of course Simon Bar Sinister and Cad Lackey, having bought tickets to the show just to unwind a bit.
"Before I pass it on to our host this morning, I just want to tell all of you that there is no need to worry about that temple situation and the jewelry." The mayor added. "As mayor of Townsville, I can assure you that The Powerpuff Girls will catch those rapscallions before you know it. For if they were here right now, I'd give them what for!"
As the rest of the crowd cheered at the mayor's proclamation, Simon and Cad could be seen laughing evilly to themselves, simply nodding and grinning.
"If only he fucking knew." Simon said silently with an evil smile.
The mayor passed the mic over to the host, who then hyped up the large crowd with DJ Snake and Lil' Jon's "Turn Down For What" playing. The show had no less than 24 total acts on display, meaning the entire show would take roughly four and a half hours to complete from start to finish. The show was split evenly in half between twelve musical acts and twelve non-musical acts. Because it was an all-ages event, the twelve musical acts had to use the edited versions of their songs if so required. The show alternated back and forth between the musical acts and the non-musical acts. The musical acts weren't original songs, but rather covers of popular songs.
And with the crowd all hyped up, the show got underway. The first musical act was a trio of three older females cosplaying as none other than The Powerpuff Girls, and they covered "Love Makes The World Go Round." Simon and Cad didn't particularly like the song, but they knew their role and cheered with the crowd. The crowd sung along to the popular song known around Townsville, applauding at the end of the song.
The first non-musical act was a ventriloquist who threw her voice at pretty much any animate or inanimate object. She told jokes throughout and even interacted with a crying infant nearby with the parents even getting out long laughs at making the infant talk.
After the applause from the crowd, the next musical act was an African-American Millennial male who covered Eminem and Juice WRLD's "Godzilla."He of course knew where the swear words were and edited them out seamlessly. The crowd, including Simon and Cad themselves, even jumped up as they enjoyed the song. The crowd cheered loudly at the famous fast part at the end of the song, and he got a standing ovation when he got to the "Man Stop" part.
"Damn, now that was fucking good, boss." Cad said.
"Yeah, I agree. I sure don't have that kind of breath control." Simon added.
The next non-musical act was a little boy and three cats who did a highly choreographed act, the three cats following each of his commands impressively. They meowed on his cues and did several different tricks, finishing up the act by all jumping on the boy's body with the crowd applauding.
The next musical act did a cover of System of a Down's "Chop Suey." Simon and Cad themselves got more into the act since it was their kind of music, even singing along to the lyrics. The crowd got themselves into it as well as they waved their hands at the part towards the end of the song.
The next non-musical act was a cowboy comedy act with three older Caucasian men. Two of the cowboys were good while one was evil, and the crowd laughed hard at many of the punchlines. They had toy revolvers so that no one would get hurt, gunshot sounds being heard exactly on cue. At one point in the show, the cowboys briefly danced to Psy's "Gangnam Style." The crowd gave a standing ovation and let out several long laughs at the end.
"I'm so fucking tired of that song." Cad said as he shook his head.
"Tell me about it, Cad." Simon added.
The next musical act was an older African-American male who covered DJ Casper's "Cha Cha Slide." Simon and Cad did a massive facepalm when the song came on, but the crowd towards the front got up at the front of the stage and danced to the very danceable song while the many others just danced in their seats.
After the applause, the next non-musical act was two bikers, a male and a female, reciting a biker-themed version of Romeo and Juliet's famous love scene. It was very unique with a lot of different biker puns inside of it which made the crowd laugh. There was even a gag at the end where Romeo and Juliet briefly did the dance shown in Yung Joc's "It's Goin' Down," which got the crowd laughing.
The next musical act was three adult African-American Millennial females who did a cover of TLC's "Baby Baby Baby." The crowd bobbed their heads and clapped along to the old school song, and even Simon and Cad found themselves getting into the act. The villains couldn't help but applaud at the end and get in a small grin at the end of the song.
"Hey, that's not bad at all." Simon admitted.
"Yeah, that one chick sung her heart out." Cad added.
The next non-musical act was a juggler who started juggling basic and small round items like small balls and small fruit. But then he began juggling larger balls and larger fruits. He then moved on to juggling more blunt objects such as baseball bats and hammers. As a final act, he juggled far more dangerous objects like knives, swords, gas cans filled with real gas, and even operating chainsaws. The crowd gasped as he effortlessly juggled the chainsaws, some of them on the edge of their seat as they were fearful for him, but he didn't even get one scratch. They all applauded as Simon and Cad grinned a bit.
"You ain't gonna catch me doing that shit." Simon mentioned.
The next musical act covered Metallica's "For Whom The Bell Tolls." When Simon and Cad heard the intro to the song, they got off of their feet quickly, the rest of the crowd doing so as well. Simon and Cad could also be seen playing air guitar throughout the song.
"Yes, yes, fucking yes!" Cad said.
"This is my fucking shit!" Simon added.
The crowd, along with Simon and Cad, sung along to the song, especially at the end. There was a roaring applause at the end of the song that lasted quite a long while, with the band that covered it thanking the crowd.
"I hereby crown those guys the winners of this show." Simon said.
The next non-musical act was an elderly couple, but still in excellent shape, who put on a show with their two Golden Retrievers. They of course played Frisbee with their dogs, but the dogs did some awe-inspiring tricks with their owners, turning flips and doing spins and doing a very well choreographed sequence, which the crowd applauded to as well, Simon and Cad nodding in approval.
"Damn, they had a tough act to follow, but they killed it." Cad said.
"You got that right, that was really awesome." Simon added.
The show reached its halfway point. The mayor of Townsville got on the mic and further complimented the acts that got on. The host basically played some advertisements about various things happening in and around Townsville just to get the word out about some things.
During the final advertisements, The Powerpuff Girls and Underdog themselves could be seen flying right above the Townsville Amphitheater as they continued their search for the jewelry thieves. The whole crowd erupted in cheers as the heroes made the flyover, Simon and Cad getting a long look and spotting their own nemesis.
"Boss, it's Underdog!" Cad mentioned to Simon, who simply nodded.
"Yeah, I saw that, Cad." Simon responded silently.
When the heroes were well out of sight and the cheers died down, Simon sighed in relief. The host hyped up the crowd some more as the second half of the show was set to begin.
"Underdog, Powerpuff Girls, all of you can go fuck yourselves!" Cad shouted loud towards the sky.
Simon jumped up and quickly covered Cad's mouth, the crowd within earshot of Simon and Cad gasping loudly and turning towards them with angry scowls on their faces.
"What the fuck, Cad!" Simon said to Cad silently before he turned towards the crowd. "Folks, please excuse my little bro here. That was just his Tourette Syndrome acting up again. I will resolve it now." Simon then said, very quick on the trigger to avoid blowing their cover.
Much of the Townsville natives who heard the outburst simply nodded and gave a thumbs up, an older woman who sat near them hugging Cad in support with Cad hugging back.
"My son has Tourettes. I know how that is. I'm sorry you have to endure that, hun." The female said.
"Thank you, ma'am." Cad said.
"Man, I don't know, that shit is sus." A younger African-American male said from afar as he looked at Simon and Cad with Simon and Cad not looking back.
The first musical act on the second half of the show was an older African-American male who covered Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative." As the rest of the crowd jammed along to the popular New Jack song, Simon looked over at Cad with an angry scowl on his face.
"Cad, you fucking moron, you damn near gave me a fucking heart attack!" Simon whispered to Cad.
"Shit, sorry, boss. This awesome show got me carried away." Cad said apologetically.
"We'll talk about it later." Simon added as the crowd applauded after the popular song.
The first non-musical act on the second half of the show was a Millennial Caucasian female who did a spoken word story with Jorge Quintero's "300 Violin Orchestra" playing in the background. She told an original story about how she and her younger brother overcame insurmountable odds to grab a possession they wanted. The spoken word lady even made mention of the jewelry thieves getting what was coming to them, Simon and Cad laughing to themselves as the crowd applauded.
"We'll make her eat those words." Simon said.
The next musical act covered Drowning Pool's "Bodies," which was a very popular 2000s song. Like with "Chop Suey" and "For Whom The Bell Tolls" before it, Simon and Cad got up and sung along to the song, especially with the catchy chorus of the song, with much of the crowd jumping along as well. The crowd applauded at the end of the song and gave the group a standing ovation.
The next non-musical act was another comedic act, this time military themed. There were puns galore inside of the act which got the crowd laughing hard. One female soldier even recited a Powerpuff Girls version of the military phonetic alphabet. To finish, the soldiers delivered a loud punchline which got the crowd laughing hard, Simon and Cad even unable to resist bursting out a few laughs.
"Okay, now THAT was fucking hilarious!" Cad said.
"They will be our personal entertainment once we are in control, Cad." Simon added.
The next musical act was a Gen Z Caucasian male who covered Lil' Pump's "Esskeetit." Of course he had to watch where the swear words were, and the crowd, a good bit of them the fellow Gen Z crowd, bobbed their heads to the popular Gen Z song. Simon and Cad just shook their heads in disgust as the song ended and sarcastically applauded when the rest of the crowd applauded genuinely.
"Really? Is THAT what rap has come to nowadays?" Cad asked.
"Riff Raff has the better rap hits in his collection." Simon added. "Today's kids have a shitty taste in music."
The next non-musical act was a younger Asian female who demonstrated her impressive acts on flexibility. She rolled up like a ball and knocked down ten pins that had the faces of some of the most well-known villains in Townsville. Another impressive act was that she handwalked faster than a person on stage with her could run at full speed. The crowd ooohed and aaahed as they saw the impressive showing, Simon and Cad even applauding as well.
The next musical act was a Millennial Caucasian female who cosplayed Katy Perry, many in the crowd thinking that it was actually Katy Perry. The doppelganger Katy Perry covered "Hot N Cold," and she was able to sound just like the popular singer, so much that it sounded extremely authentic. The crowd was just amazed at how much the person could flawlessly impersonate Katy Perry. But to ensure everyone that she was not the real deal, she thanked everyone in her normal voice when the song ended, though Simon and Cad simply shook their heads in disgust.
The next non-musical act was four Japanese females cosplaying as ninjas. They spoke in a mix of their native Japanese tongue as well as English, and they acted out an epic fight scene, complete with sword fights, acrobatics, and super fast running. Towards the end of the act, they put on a good speaking acting job to give the crowd some quotes to think about. The Japanese females bowed to the crowd, the crowd applauding with Simon and Cad nodding in approval.
"Wow, now that shit was awesome, boss." Cad told Simon.
"Agreed." Simon responded.
The penultimate musical act was an older African-American church male who covered Bishop Bullwinkle's "Hell To Da Naw Naw Naw". Simon and Cad smiled heavily as the song came on, the crowd clapping along to the song. Everyone sung along to the very catchy chorus and waved their hands from side to side. Even after the end of the song and the subsequent applause, the crowd still sung the catchy chorus, the song having been ingrained in popular culture.
The penultimate non-musical act was a Gen Z African-American male and a Gen X Australian female who did a very unique comedic act where the Australian female would act out and use common mannerisms and slang of the African-American male, as well as the other way around. There were jokes and puns galore as this mismatched duo acted out each other's popular ways of living. The crowd got out several long laughs with Simon and Cad also not even resisting laughing.
The final musical act was a Caucasian little girl who came on with a big smile on her face. The little girl covered Rebecca Black's "Friday." As soon as the opening of the song came on, Simon and Cad stood right up in disgust, using the "get out of here" double hand gesture.
"Oh hell no!" Cad shouted.
"Aaaaaand that's our fucking cue Cad." Simon said as he and Cad put on their backpacks and began to walk down the stairs to exit the amphitheater. "I REFUSE to torture myself to that shitty ass song!"
"The song before it could not be more fitting. Hell to the naw." Cad added, the two villains having made their way out of the amphitheater to explore Townsville some more.
Despite the song's infamy, the crowd danced and clapped along to the song, though it was more to support the little girl singing it. The girl's father did the rap part at the end as the crowd simply applauded, though there were just a few isolated boos that were drowned out by the cheers.
Simon and Cad would miss the final act of the entire show, which was a female magician sibling pair. They put on several magic acts, ranging from objects switching places to cards disappearing to them picking a member of the audience and accurately reciting numbers that the audience member was thinking about. Their final act was them covering themselves up with large blankets and disappearing, only to reappear, ironically, at the spot Simon and Cad were sitting at. The crowd gave them a standing ovation as they all walked back towards the stage.
The mayor of Townsville got on stage and thanked everyone for coming out with the host sending them all home as well, simply playing a few more ads. Some of the crowd stayed around and got to meet all of the acts that performed, taking pictures and getting autographs from them, while some of the crowd simply left.
The scene shifted to Simon and Cad, who were walking on the streets of Townsville just doing a mix of sightseeing and chatting with the locals. One African-American group stopped Simon and Cad and offered them to join them to play a game of basketball, though Simon and Cad declined of course. Simon and Cad finally got a patch in a park where they were isolated a good bit, taking a seat on a park bench.
"Cad, just what in the actual fuck were you thinking back there?!" Simon shouted out angrily.
"Boss, I'm really sorry. I got caught up in the heat of the moment when I saw The Powerpuff Girls and Underdog fly over us." Cad responded apologetically.
"Our very best chance at dictating the world and you damn near fucked it all up!" Simon shouted out. "But fortunately, my quick thinking saved both of our asses. We're undercover in this futuristic, flashy ass city, Cad, don't forget it!"
"Yes, boss." Cad acknowledged. "Though I wish you could've thought of something other than Tourette Syndrome. That shit was embarrassing."
"Well, what the fuck else was I gonna say, Cad?!" Simon inquired. "That we're two evil sons of bitches who are gonna rule the world soon and everyone there will be our prisoners?! The Powerpuff Girls and Underdog would find us for sure!"
"Yeah, you got a point there." Cad said with a nod. "But anyway, good show there, wasn't it?" Cad then asked to change the subject.
"Yes, it was quite nice to unwind there for a little bit." Simon responded. "But we mustn't lose focus on our purpose here. We've gotta find some way to get a private fucking computer so we can find our three evil ladies. There's gotta be a chick here who knows somebody who knows somebody in this shitty city."
"So where do we start our search, boss?" Cad asked.
"Hmmmm, not too sure, Cad." Simon answered. "Something will hit me like a ton of bricks eventually. Until then, let's see if we can get someone to slip their tongue without raising suspicion. Choose your words carefully, Cad."
"Yes, boss. Let's go." Cad said as he and Simon got up.
Simon and Cad, as disguised normal citizens, spent much of the day just chatting amongst the city locals and walking around and taking in the sights of the much larger and more modern city. The villains even got the ride the subway quite a bit, bringing back memories of the short-lived subway at Capitol City.
At one point, Simon and Cad even got to walk by the actual home of The Powerpuff Girls. Professor Utonium himself was seen mowing the lawn, the Professor waving to the disguised Simon and Cad with the two disguised villains waving back to him.
Throughout the chats with the citizens and even the local police, they even brought up the jewelry heist and very carefully avoided slipping their own tongues and tried to get clues as to any evil females someone would know. But Simon and Cad got no real answers, the villains continuing their search.
END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Music Credits
Song Artist/Source: DJ Snake and Lil' Jon
Song Title/Source: Turn Down For What
Year Song Released: 2013
When Played: At the beginning of the show when the host is hyping up the crowd.
Song Artist/Source: The Powerpuff Girls
Song Title/Source: Love Makes The World Go Round
Year Song Released: 1999
When Played: First song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Eminem featuring Juice WRLD
Song Title/Source: Godzilla (Clean Version)
Year Song Released: 2020
When Played: Second song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: System of a Down
Song Title/Source: Chop Suey
Year Song Released: 2001
When Played: Third song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Psy
Song Title/Source: Gangnam Style
Year Song Released: 2012
When Played: Briefly played during the cowboy comedy act.
Song Artist/Source: DJ Casper
Song Title/Source: Cha Cha Slide
Year Song Released: 2000
When Played: Fourth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Yung Joc
Song Title/Source: It's Goin' Down
Year Song Released: 2006
When Played: Briefly played during the biker Romeo and Juliet comedy act.
Song Artist/Source: TLC
Song Title/Source: Baby Baby Baby (20th Anniversary Edition)
Year Song Released: 1992 (Original), 2013 (20th Anniversary Edition)
When Played: Fifth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Metallica
Song Title/Source: For Whom The Bell Tolls
Year Song Released: 1984
When Played: Sixth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Bobby Brown
Song Title/Source: My Prerogative
Year Song Released: 1988
When Played: Seventh song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Jorge Quintero
Song Title/Source: 300 Violin Orchestra
Year Song Released: 2008
When Played: Played in the background during the spoken word act.
Song Artist/Source: Drowning Pool
Song Title/Source: Bodies
Year Song Released: 2001
When Played: Eighth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Lil' Pump
Song Title/Source: Esskeetit (Clean Version)
Year Song Released: 2018
When Played: Ninth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Katy Perry
Song Title/Source: Hot N Cold
Year Song Released: 2008
When Played: Tenth song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Revenge of Shinobi
Song Title/Source: Run or Die (coNsPirAcy83 Rearrangement)
Year Song Released: 1989 (Original), 2014 (Rearrangement)
When Played: Played in the background during the Japanese ninja act.
Song Artist/Source: Bishop Bullwinkle
Song Title/Source: Hell To Da Naw Naw Naw
Year Song Released: 2014
When Played: Eleventh song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Rebecca Black
Song Title/Source: Friday
Year Song Released: 2011
When Played: Final song covered at the show.
Song Artist/Source: Dr. Dre
Song Title/Source: The Watcher
Year Song Released: 1999
When Played: As Simon and Cad are walking around Townsville after they leave the park.