Eris was originally going to babysit Dawn like she promised but Buffy changed her mind when it got closer to nighttime and instead wanted her to go out to patrol as well. She glad to go out patrolling, she loved Dawn but handing out with a teenager wasn't her idea of fun, "what are you doing out by yourself?" Eris turned around and saw the familiar bleach blonde hair.
"Oh, hey Spike, Buffy asked me to patrol, someone's trying to kill her…again," she looked down at his arms and noticed brown bags, "coming home from shopping?"
"Yeah, just got some dinner."
"Need help?"
"Already bored of patrolling?"
"Yes, nothing ever happens when I go out, and even if I find the people hunting Buffy its not like I can deal with it."
"That's a good point. Well come on then," she grabbed one of his bags and walked in silence within him until they arrived at his crypt. Once inside, Eris took one breath and immediately sneezed, "Jesus, don't you ever clean?"
"Why? Dust doesn't bother me," he set the bags down on the coffin and took the one in Eris' arms.
"Well your home is supposed to reflect how you take care of yourself, this is telling me you don't take care of yourself very well, if at all," she saw a fresh spider web with a Black widow crawling on it and shuddered, "glad you can't die from spider venom."
"I do take care of myself, I'm just lazy," he pointed to his hair, "look at it, neatly groomed and trimmed, I do that every day, I take care of myself very well thank you very much."
She raised her arms up in surrender, "ok, ok, you do I see that, I'm not afraid to admit your handsome but in this place your attraction lessens."
"You think I'm handsome?"
"Of course I do, I wouldn't let you between my legs if I didn't, though if you ever decide to bring more ladies here they're gonna take one look at this place and run for the hills," she completely brushed off her handsome comment like it was no big deal, she wasn't like Buffy who would blush if she realised she said anyone was handsome.
"Who says I wanna take someone home, I'm happy living alone, and I'm not cleaning for a girl."
Eris felt a little sad at the comment but hid it well, "no one is happy being alone, but I won't judge you, I should let you eat and stalk the cemetery, I'd rather not freak Buffy out by my disappearance," she walked over to the door and pushed it open, turning back to Spike with a smile, "See you later Spike, don't let the very venomous spiders bite you," she waved and walked off, leaving Spike inside and looking at her retreated behind.
"She must be on drugs."
The next morning Xander had told Buffy and Eris what happened last night and that the bad guy trying to kill Buffy was in fact Harmony and her lapdogs, instead of Buffy trying to kill Xander as he had thought, the girls were now laughing their heads off, "Harmony…" Buffy tried to speak but couldn't stop laughing, "Harmony has minions?"
"Harmony is trying to kill Buffy?" Eris trailed off into giggles. She had heard many stories of the popular girls at Sunnydale High. Cordelia and Harmony, both dumber than a box of matches.
"Yeah that was pretty much my reaction," Xander replied with a smile.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Buffy tried to calm herself, "It's just…Harmony has minions," she started laughing again.
"And Ruffles have ridges," Xander laughed nervously, "Buffy there's actually a more serious side to all this."
"I sure hope so, cause I'm having trouble breathing," she waved her hand around and took in a deep breath, "what is it?"
"Well…she did come here to kill you," Xander replied, which caused Buffy and Eris to laugh even louder which also caused Riley to laugh.
"Buffy, come on, they have killed once that we know of, she could be a threat to you," every word that made Harmony sound serious made Eris and Buffy laugh even harder.
"Especially now that she can enter your house any time she wants," the girls stopped laughing and looked at Anya, expression now serious.
"What?" Xander and Anya looked at each other.
"Yeah, actually she – Harmony – kind of happened to sorta get an invite," Xander replied nervously.
"You guys can't invite her in, only someone who lives here can…" Buffy stopped when she realised the culprit, and now instead of laughing her head off, Buffy had a look that was between annoyed and angry "where is she?"
Anya looked like she didn't want to answer, but after a moment she spoke up, "In her room, look, I think she's still pretty freaked out."
"Dawn!" Buffy yelled and began marching upstairs.
"It was an accident, she didn't mean it", Xander stopped Buffy's warpath.
"Well, that just makes it ok then, doesn't it?" she walked past Xander and continued.
"No but believe me, nobody feels worse than her right now," Xander looked to Eris for help.
"What? I'm not going up there," Eris shook her head, "I do not want to pick sides, I live here, that would make my life a living hell, I want to be the comedic relief."
"That my job."
"I was here first Xander, but we can share, the more the funnier."
"That's a lot of weapons for somebody you weren't sweating about twenty minutes ago," Riley commented as he watched Buffy rifle through her weapons, Eris and Anya were downstairs watching the house in case Harmony came back for round two.
"Well that was before Dawn gave Harmony a pass to kill us all in our sleep," she shot back angrily.
"Buff, Willow'll come do a return engagement of her uninvitation spell," Xander tried his best to comfort Buffy, hoping maybe her anger would settle, "she probably still has the stuff from last week, and bang boom, you're back in the fortress of Solitude, all better."
Buffy shook her head at his words, disagreeing strongly, "No, not all better, I mean it's not like Dawn hasn't grown up in this house knowing all the rules, especially the biggie! Numero one-o, do not invite a bloodsucking dead people into our home, I mean, please, I would never have Harmony over even when she was alive."
"People slip, Buffy, your mom did, she invited in the mas…Dracula in for coffee," Riley and Buffy looked at Xander, noticing his slip.
"Well that was different, I mean, she…he would…she was lonely and…and she didn't know he was a vampire, The vampire, meanwhile, Dawn knew exactly what Harmony was when she rolled out the welcome mat for her."
"She's just a kid," Riley chimed in, hoping to calm Buffy down.
"Will everybody please stop saying that? I was just a kid when I met my first vampire, but I still managed to remember the rules, Eris saw her first when she was 5 yet she knew what to do."
"You had to, it was your job, and Eris was raised knowing about vampires."
"No, no it was common sense, but nobody expects even that much from Dawn, do they? No, she has to be protected and coddled from the big bad world, well you know what? We are doing nothing but turning her into a little idiot who is going to get us all killed," the boys remained silent, disagreeing with her words but not saying anything, no one knew that Dawn was behind the door, listening to everything they said.
"Dawn?" Eris called out as she was coming up the stairs, Dawn ignored her and stormed downstairs. She looked back at her little cousin, not knowing what happened but thought it better to ask the older cousin what happened.
"She just has to be more careful," Buffy said as Eris walked in, "Now, I can't be there to protect her 24 hours a day, I just can't."
"Sorry to interrupt but I think Dawn heard whatever you just said," the group snapped their heads up to look at her in panic, "she just ran downstairs."
"Shit," Buffy cursed and followed Xander downstairs.
"Anya!" he yelled and raced to his girlfriend's prone form, him and Riley helped her up whilst Buffy and Eris looked at the open back door. She had a wound on her forehead that was bleeding profusely, and it was obvious she had been given a concussion.
"Vampire took…" Anya's voice was barely a whisper, she was too weak to speak loud enough for the group to hear.
Riley looked up at Buffy, "This head wound looks bad, we better get her to a hospital."
"They took her…" Anyway continued.
"Easy, sh, sh" Xander said softly.
"Dawn..."
Buffy put the down the home phone and hurried over to Anya, "Dawn? What about Dawn?"
"She ran out…they took her…Vampires."
"Oh god, oh god," Buffy felt panic and fear run through her, "Take care of Anya, Eris, come with me," the ravenette nodded to her cousin and raced after her, determined to find Dawn and bring her home safe whilst killing every last fucking vampire that hurt her.
"How do we find where they took Dawn!?" Eris asked as she ran beside Buffy.
"Spike should know where the hide out is!" Buffy yelled back.
"I hope so!"
They arrived at Spike's Crypt but instead of knocking Buffy just kicked it open and stormed inside, "Well, speaking of dishes, to what do I owe this unpleasant sur-" he stopped when Buffy punched him the face, "Ow! Bloody hell!"
"What the hell Buffy! Why did you do that!?" Eris rushed forth and pulled Buffy back, the blonde turned and glared at her before turning back to Spike.
"I don't have time for banter, where's Harmony's lair?" she didn't punch him again but the promise was still in her eyes.
Spike glared at her, "Haven't seen her in months, how should I know?" he got another punch to the face.
"Fuck sake Buff!" Eris moved forward and stood between the two powerful and angry beings, probably not a good idea but she wasn't keen on dealing with the petty feud the two had, "Spike, please, Dawn's in trouble and needs our help," she looked up at him pleadingly, no ounce of anger but instead fear, fear for the safety of the one person that doesn't deserve to be eaten.
Spike looked at her for a few moment before sighing, "fine...I used to have a cave in the north woods, about 40 metres past the overpass construction site."
"Thank you," Eris stepped aside and turned to leave, only to turn back when Buffy punched him again.
"I was telling you the truth!" he yelled angrily and watched slayer march off.
"I know," she replied nonchalantly.
Eris frowned apologetically, "Sorry Spike," she couldn't stay to make sure he was ok but she would return to apologise later. She raced off to follow Buffy, not bothering to scold the slayer as she would not listen and now was not the time.
It way too easy to kill Harmony's goons and free Dawn, as usual when friends and family have a fight they make up and have this sweet moment and soon everything goes back to being the same, meaning Buffy bossing Dawn around and whining to Eris, Dawn nagging and whining to Eris and Eris sitting and being quiet and not choosing a side.
The perfect family...