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In the afternoon I have potions at 14:30, followed by Creature Care. I abandon Arthur and Ewald in the library after a short tour around the castle to head to the dungeons. From what Ewald told, the teacher sounds funny. Alright, dangerous too, but that's a synonym for me. Since I've spent a bit too much time with the seven years I arrive at the same time as the teacher. He's relatively young, I would give him about forty years old. He has long, blond hair tied into a low pony tail and rugged features. He motions us to the inside of the room, directing us to seat in pairs at the benches, and I notice at that moment that his hands are covered by burn scars.

I seat at a bench at the front of the room, and Scorpius joins me pretty fast. I spontaneously smile to him, and observe as Severus and Eva seat behind us. To my great displeasure two girls from my dormitory take the seats on my right, while the room keeps on filling. Once everyone has found a seat, the teacher takes attendance before starting the lesson. His voice is a bit hoarse, maybe due to the potions fumes, with a touch of Germanic accent.

"Welcome, young apprentices. My name is Simon von Saxen, and I will be your Potions teacher for at least five years. The art of potions is at the same time subtle and dangerous, innovative and very codified. I'm expecting rigour and application from you, as well as caution and curiosity. You can settle for following the instructions from your books to the letter, and get decent results. You could laze, too, and do with approximations. In that case I won't have to punish you, since a badly cooked potion will make you pay the price. But if you want to excel, you will have to innovate, and go beyond the books. However, take care. Excellence comes with a price. If you lack knowledge, if you do even the smallest mistake, it could cost you a lot. Thereby, young apprentices, you owe to judge for yourself which risks you are ready to take, and to what extent you are ready to get involved. If you are scared, then simply follow scrupulously the instructions and everything will be fine for you. You only have your own failures to fear, since each bench is protected with a confinement spell since two years already. You and your bench mate are the only one who will suffer from your mistakes, and you two will be the only one endangered if you decide to try out things. Of course I will be ensure your safety, but you will always be in a better position than be to do so. Do you have any questions?"

The class remains speechless, so the teacher waves his wand to the board to write: "Potions: Elementary safety precautions" before starting talking again.

"I'm sure you're all excited about starting practising, young apprentices, but before that I must set the things straight with you and teach you the most basic safety rules for Potions. You will always have to respect those in my class on pain of sanctions that can go until school expulsion, would you survive your foolishness. Does someone have an idea of what those rules could be?"

I read my Potion book, as well as the Harry Potter series, so I have an idea of what he expects. I raise my hand, and he motions me to talk.

"One shouldn't use transformed ingredients. One should never do magic next to a cauldron unless it is part of the recipe, knowing that the security range depends on the potion. One should never add carelessly ingredients to a potion, one must always check that the ingredients are pure and the utensils are clean..."

I catch my breath and I can hear my classmates whisper. Von Saxen uses the opportunity to cut me:

"All correct, miss… What is your name?"

"Mackson, sir."

"Miss Mackson. Forty points for Gryffindor. The others, write: Before starting to prepare any potions, precautions to be taken are the following..."

I write down what the teacher says with the others students, even if I don't learn many new things. The teacher doesn't interrogate the class any more, and the hour is over without us touching even once our cauldrons. Von Saxen asks us to read the page of our book about the Scouring potion before next course, then he sets us free.

While walking to the greenhouses, I think about potions. I refuse to do drugs of any kind, because I don't want my behaviour nor my ability to think to be influenced by the ingestion of anything. I don't want those substances to impact my mental state. And it means that there's a lot of potions I should never take, like for instance the Dizziness Draught, Baruffio's Brain elixir and of course Veritaserum. I will have to inform myself to know if there is an antidote to such potions, should I ingest one against my will. Because what I want is not only to avoid negative impacts, not only. I want to be myself, with my own capacities, truly. Well, at least Potions seems an interesting class, even if I'm not sure to be willing to follow the recipes without improvising… Guess it means I'll have to learn the different properties of the ingredients and the influence wand motions and direction of mixing on the potions and probably more, so that I can allow that to myself. It'd be time-consuming, sure, but it certainly is useful knowledge to have.

The temperature outside is pleasant as I'm walking to the greenhouses, not far away from Scorpius' group. I get lost in thoughts without really listening to the people around me. The course goes by rather fast. Hagrid brought us small creatures apparently native from Ireland, they're like mini ice salamanders. He tries to teach us to make them climb our shoulders, but I'm not very at ease around them. They must feel it cause they avoid me. Some girls from my dorm make fun of me, but I ignore them, content to carefully take note of what Hagrid says, although I doubt it'll be of any use for me.

When we're finally free I don't directly walk back to the castle with the rest of my group. Instead I use the opportunity of already being outside to have a walk on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, then walk to the Black Lake. The forest attracts me, but I don't have the time to venture there today, and I wouldn't want to do that with my class bag, even lightened. When I reach the edge of the lake I feel a sudden weakness in my legs, and my bag regains its normal weight. I sit for a few minutes. It's true that I haven't done such a heavy magical effort for so much time. I check my arms, but at least my Glamour spell held. Since there's nobody around I let go of the spell so that I can rest my magic before going back to the school. Instantly I feel like an invisible weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I tend to forget about it, but by holding almost permanently my Glamour spell I also exhaust my magic reserves.

I stay there for about fifteen minutes, observing the small waves the wind create at the surface of the lake, and the reflects of the sun and clouds. I appreciate the quietness of the place I found, close to a weeping willow. I promise myself I'll come back here to write a bit. For now, it's time for me to go. I reactivate my Glamour spell and stand up. The dinner time will come soon, and I decide to put my bag in the dorm before going, it'll be easier. At this time of the day the Gryffindor tower will hopefully be empty. I also reactivate my lightening charm and walk back to the castle.

I find my way back quite easily, and even I don't remember the password to the common room I guess it at first try, just because I remember it's the most cliché password ever. There's only a few people inside, and my dorm in empty. I quickly tidy my books and my schedule in my trunk before walking to the Great Hall. Once again Arthur and Ewald join me for the meal, this time at Slytherin table. Don't they have friends? Anyway, I tell them a bit about my afternoon. Arthur shares an anecdote about Hagrid and half a dozen of baby Chimoids (apparently they are creatures looking like hedgehogs that are able to control, in a limited way, fire, ice and earth). In the end sharing my meal with them is not that bad. Nevertheless I don't spend too much time in the Great Hall, because I want to start reading my History book before sleep. I'll have the whole day free tomorrow, I'll be able to use it to do my homework and explore the castle. I'm sure there's a lot of things to discover!

I quietly make my way back to my common room, then to my dorm, that I find empty. I have the time for a fast shower and change of clothes before the first girls arrive. They don't talk with me and the kid that drew my curtains this morning throws me a dirty look upon entering the room. I can hear some whispers and laughs which my instinct tells me are directed at me, and I try to keep calm. In the end, before that and the comings and goings of the kids going to the bathroom I temporarily give up on reading and go back to my researches on how to produce a small light so that I could close the curtains and read in peace. I search through my spellbook, ignoring the kids whispering (I can hear a "Look, the nerd is reading again", for instance). I finally find what I'm looking for. A spell that allows the creation of a night light, which doesn't require to keep one's wand in hand, contrary to the Lumos (that I still have to learn).

I memorize the incantation, "Lumens", and the wand motion, which is rather simple and consists in tracing a kind of oval in the air, then quickly retreat behind my curtains to train. I obtain results rather fast, but am quite tired, so I don't train much. I tidy my book and go to sleep, without forgetting to put my wand and knife under my pillow.

xxx

« On a beau s'entourer, on est toujours seul. Et la solitude, je l'embrasse, cette vieille amie. Je ne pourrai jamais que compter sur moi. La communauté d'esprit n'est qu'une illusion confortable. J'y ai cru, vraiment, que l'amitié serait une réponse à cette douleur lancinante. Mais la vérité, c'est que s'ouvrir est se rendre encore plus vulnérable. Et que quand tu auras vraiment besoin d'aide, c'est à ce moment là que tu seras trahi. Mais c'est normal, ce n'est même pas de la cruauté. Alors, j'ai le courage de l'admettre. Je serai toujours seule. Et je l'accepte. »

x

"No matter how much we surround ourselves with people, we're always alone. And loneliness, I welcome it, this old friend. I will always only be able to count on myself. The joining of spirits is nothing but a comfortable illusion. I believed in it, truly, I believed that friendship would be an answer to this shooting pain. But the truth is that opening up will only make oneself more vulnerable. And once you'll really need help, it's the moment when you'll be betrayed. But it's just normal, it's not even cruelty. So I have the courage of admitting it. I will always be on my own. And I accept it."

-Extract from Aurore Berger's notebook, kept by Quentin Lemage after her death-

And that's it for this chapter.
How do you like the potion teacher? I'm personnaly a fan of his teaching methods that you'll discover later...

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