Hey,
I just realized I haven't posted here in a while. I kept translating, but since it seems like no one reads here I forgot...
Anyway, lucky you (if someone reads this, that is), three chapters are coming today!
Enjoy!
After lunch,I leave Ewald and Arthur to go to my Flying Class, after which we decided to meet at the entrance of the castle. I join the other first Years of my group on the Quidditch field. I find them staring at the sky, even the girls from my dorm (there's two in my group) don't pay attention to me. Following their example I look up as well, only to see a red-haired girl on a broom. She's doing one complicated trick after the other, passing above us at full speed to go for a loop before buzzing the goal poles, then the tribunes… Except that she's flying upside down. She's playing, I realize, and a surge of envy strikes me. I want to do that. And I will. Eventually the young woman lands in front of us after an impressive swoop.
Everyone claps wholeheartedly, including me, to pay tribute to the performance of the one that is actually Ginny Potter, our Flying teacher. With a bright smile, she curtsies before instructing:
"Hi everyone! No worries, I won't ask you to do the same as me today! So, for starters, I'm asking all of you who already have fled, even only once, to go to my right, those who never did on the left, and those who did with an adult can stay right where they are."
It isn't long before three groups appear. The smallest one is the one with the students that already flew alone. Scorpius is in it, of course, as well as two Gryffindor guys, a Ravenclaw and Eva. A dozen others have already tried flying, but with an adult, and we're six in my group. The teacher starts by asking those who already flew on their own how it was, and under which circumstances it happened. One of the Gryffindor boys proudly says that he took the plane alone, bursts out laughing from his joke that he has to explain because half of our mates, including the teacher, don't know what planes are. Once the situation is clarified he joins my group and the class can continue. The teacher asks if someone knows what steps one has to follow to use a broom, and Scorpius gives the answer easily.
She finally leads us in front of a row of old brooms, telling those who never flew before to stay close to her. We obey and soon find ourselves arm raised and hand opened above a broom, shooting with more or less conviction "Up!". I don't see why we can't simply place it directly between our legs, but I suppose that decorum matters… After a few unsuccessful attempts (the broom barely shivering), I ask the teacher.
"What I'm asking you to do has the purpose of activating the spells inside your boom. An experienced wizard doesn't need this, but for your first class I would see it as premature to skip that step. Does it answer your question, Miss?"
"Yes Ma'am." I answer, slightly frustrated.
I nevertheless keep on following the instructions, and now that I understand why we're doing this the way we are (to activate the magic), I use my magic at the same time as my will when saying "Up!". I remember that if one is scared of flying, or doesn't believe it's possible, the broom won't react. The broom jumps enthusiastically to my hand at first try.
I still wait for about ten minutes before everyone manages to activate theirs and the teacher allows us to climb them. Ginny Potter first tells us to keep two meters between everyone of us, spreading us on the whole Quidditch field, then explains, with the help of a Sonorus, how to take off. It's quite instinctive, and I have no trouble going the two meters up that she asked us to reach. She then asks us to do a turn to the right, then the left, which is no problem for me either. Unfortunately it isn't that easy for everyone and the teacher has to take care of every student that has trouble controlling their broom… I just want to fly! I see a Ravenclaw fly into a Slytherin, then one of the girls from my dorm almost falls from her broom after leaning too much on the front. And meanwhile, I'm getting bored. It's so frustrating to have mastered an exercise but not be allowed to go to the next step. Just to try, I lean my broom handle towards the sky, and I instantly gain one or two meters. I wouldn't have done that in my previous life, I was always following the instructions, or making sure no one would notice if I wasn't. Whatever, I have a few seconds to enjoy my new point of view before Ginny Potter asks me to come back down immediately. It's when she sees how easily I obey that she understands that I climbed on purpose, I think, but this course is frustrating enough without her thinking that I need help to fly in addition to everything.
"Minus five points for Gryffindor, miss..?"
"Mackson", I answer, hiding my frustration the best I can.
She must feel it, though, but instead of scolding me, she seems a bit more comprehensive.
"I understand that you want to fly, but it's important that everyone masters the basics, so try to perfect the moves I asked you to do in the meantime. If you do this again, I will ask you to go back to the ground and there will be no flying for you until next week, so keep cool."
After that she asks me to show her if I'm able to do what she asks before going back to the people having problems. Comprehensive, maybe, but also a strict teacher! Anyway, after what feels like an eternity, she asks us to land and asks us to line up two by two, then to do a round of the Quidditch stadium as a pair. I'm among the first ones to go, the most impatient, and quickly distance the Gryffindor guy, Logan, who is paired up with me. Flying is quite instinctive in fact. I reach the finish line about fifteen meters before Logan, and the teacher congratulates me. She recommends that I lie more on my broom, before telling my mate to not be afraid of the speed. We let the next pair go, and sit in the stands.
I quickly regret having been up so early, because it's a pain in the ass to watch the others fly. Why show us such a cool thing if we can't really enjoy it… Since I have nothing better to do I end up taking my Charms spellbook and flip through it absent-mindely until I hear the kids around me burst out laughing. One of the least skilled guys just had an unplanned encounter with one of the Quidditch poles. Apparently he didn't break any bones, and I dive back into my spellbook until the teacher finally sets us free after telling us that next week she'd make groups by levels. Apparently, after next week, those who will have a good enough level will be allowed to skip the class. Some good news at last…
I notice Ewald and Arthur waiting for me near the change rooms. I had almost forgotten our climbing appointment. I happily leave my group to follow them. The weather is pleasant, there's only a few clouds in the sky. It must have rained in the morning, because a scent of wet earth floats in the air, and I fill my lungs with it. It feels good. The Seven Years guide me around the castle to a fallback in the wall which hides a tower about fifty meter high. They stop there and put their bags on the ground not without having dried it before in Ewald's case. I mimicate them before staring at the tower. There's some good grips in between stones, even if I suspect some parts of the tower to be difficult to climb, especially around the end. Indeed, there are some moss plates in the middle of the climb and the tower flares at the top to form a slope.
While I'm busy observing the tower Arthur warms up a bit while Ewald carefully folds his wizards' robe. Under it, he wears simple jeans and tee-shirts. I recognize, surprised, those flexible jeans, popular among climbers. He also retrieves four bracelets from his bag before turning to face me.
"Those bracelets are our safety system. Once activated, if you fall, they'll wrap you in a Levitation spell that will make you land safely on the ground"
"That's cool! Did you create that?"
"Arthur helped, but yes. At first, we were belaying each other by maintaining a light levitation spell on the one climbing, but Arthur said it wasn't the same feeling as when climbing the muggle way. And then once he fell, he almost died, and…"
"Not almost died, I would have at most broken an arm or a leg, I think" Arthur cuts in
"Yeah…" sighs Ewald. "Anyway, I started working on that, and we've been using them since last year. The issue is that they need to remain activated while we climb, since I haven't managed to create a rune that would cast the Levitation spell if it detected a slip. So, before starting to climb you'll have to activate them by pressing there for five seconds."-He shows me a rounded rune- "That makes the bracelet ready to react as soon as you fall."
"Alright. That's pretty cool already!"
"The problem is that since they consume a lot of energy we have to charge them between each climb. We need to charge them for thirty minutes for only fifteen minutes of use. But since we're three today, someone will be able to charge the bracelets while the other two will climb, if we start using our old belaying system. But it's out of the question to climb to the top without the bracelets."
"It wouldn't look good on his academic records if we were to die before his eyes" Arthur mocks
"And why wouldn't you make a system which would allow you to trigger the Levitation spell by yourself?" I ask, ignoring Arthur. "You'd need the time to activate it, of course, but something casting the spell instantly should be enough, as long as you make sure it's not possible to accidentally activate it…" I say, thinking out loud. "That's right that under eight to ten meters it would be hard to react, unless we'd feel that we're about to fall, but as long as we wouldn't land head first it'd be nothing magic wouldn't be able to heal… Alternatively we could let the bracelet activated until we'd be high enough, or let someone belay us with a spell until that point."
Arthur and Ewald think about my suggestion for a minute, then Ewald addresses me a smile.
"That's rather smart, it could be a temporary solution until I find a trigger rune. It looks easier to make in any case."
"And we often can feel if we're about to fall, we can just activate it at that moment, the bracelets react rather fast, right, Ewald?" Arthur asks
"Yes, it could work…"
"There also should be a mean to know if the bracelet is charged in energy", I add "Unless there's already one?"
"Not yet, but it's a feature I was planning on adding. For now I'm using a spell to assess the level of remaining magic, but it's only a rough estimation. In the long term we'll need something better, especially if I try selling this. By the way, Vivian, I'd like you to promise me you won't tell anyone about the bracelets. I don't want to risk having someone stealing my idea."
"Sure. Let's climb?"
"Let's climb!" Arthur agrees enthusiastically.
He removes his robes that he roughly folds before putting them on the ground, revealing black sweatpants and a yellow tee-shirt. Hufflepuffs… Ewald hands me a pair of bracelets, saying "If you would do the honors…". I put them around my wrists after having removed my robes as well. I admire the runes carved on the leather. It's pretty medieval looking, I love it. I dodge Arthur's spontaneous attempt to check if my bracelets are well fastened. Not only do I dislike being touched, but my Glamour only protects my scars from the eyes. If someone was to touch my wrist they could feel them… Fortunately he doesn't insist after I show him how I tied them.. Ewald takes the second pair, and Arthur gets his wand "Just for safety, in case you fall.". We check for the last time that the coast is clear, then we start climbing.
I easily find holds between the stones disjointed from time, and I climb rather quickly. My body enjoys moving, and I welcome the tightness it triggers in my muscles. I enjoy the flexibility from my body. I barely even feel the bracelets, and I feel more free than when a rope belays me. The sensations are stronger, too. Psychologically, I feel as if I was free climbing. I like it. Ewald is two meters apart from me and climbs as fast as me. He uses strength rather than flexibility, but he still has some serious technical skills. When we reach about fifteen meter high, without consulting each other, we take a short break. I slip a look at Arthur, down the tower. He watches our progress and motions widely to us. I can't resist the urge of letting go of one hand to wave him back. Afterwards I smile at Ewald and we start climbing again.
We must be at about thirty meters when my body starts being exhausted.I'm not used to climbing walls higher than twenty meters and the moss that is now all around us forces me to focus even more to not slip. Nevertheless Ewald is still climbing so I don't complain and keep on following him. Finally we reach the bottom of the overhang and take a new break. I set myself the best I can in order to rest my arms, and I observe what comes next. There's a bit less moss, luckily, but the slope and my aching arms will make the climb difficult. However I notice some promising cracks in the wall that are probably broad enough for me to use and place my arms in a lock.
"Do you prefer stopping now, or trying to reach the top?" Ewald asks, not even out of breath, even if it's visible he's getting slightly tired.
I don't bother answering and start climbing again, reaching for the first crack I spotted. There's only five meters left to overcome, and only the last two show a really difficult tilting. And anyway, if I stay still for too long my body will be too exhausted to finish the climb. The crack holds well, and I climb two more meters rather easily. Ewald chose a similar method to mine, but took some distance, probably in case one of us falls. He climbs slightly faster than me, even if he regularly checks if I follow him. He starts climbing the last two meters when, upon putting my hand in a new crack I find it filled with moss. I find myself in an uncomfortable position, trying to clear a hold that wouldn't be too slippery while my hands feel like I can't close them anymore.
I become a bit feverish, pushing my arm as far as I can inside the crack. I think that one of my cuts reopened, but the pain is only prodding me, and I just do one move after the other, not stopping for a second. I can't allow myself any break anymore or I'll fall. I climb the last two meters close to panic, my limbs starting to shake. Ewald managed to reach the top and without asking for permission he grabs my arm to help me recover on the wall. However, I'm exhausted, and I don't say anything, even if I'd rather have done it on my own. I decline his help to come down off the parapet.
The top of the tower is flat and empty, and wild herbs grow in the cracks between the stones. I assume this tower is not very busy. A trapdoor on the ground must lead to some stairs, but when I try opening it it remains sealed in the ground. On the other hand, it's not as if I'd have the strength to force it open. In the meantime Ewald casts a spell on his bracelets that make a white, rather pale aura appear around them.
"They're almost out of battery. Let me see your arms?"
I fear for a second that he might try to touch me, but when I start a motion to remove them, he gestures to me to stop, and simply casts his spell again. The aura around my bracelets is slightly brighter, but remains weak.
"We won't have enough time to climb down, I think. That's a pity, it's great training. But well, it's maybe for the best, I think that you need some rest. We'll have to jump in order to go back down, will it be fine for you?"
"Sure thing!" I answer, hiding as well as I can that I'm still a bit out of breath. We climb again the parapet protects us from the void, and Ewald asks:
"Would you rather have me jump first to show you, or is it better if I wait until you'll have jumped, in case you need help? There's not much to know, you just need to move away from the wall when you'll jump, just in case."
"I don't care, jump whenever you want." I answer, already fascinated by the void under me.
It feels odds standing like this, again, on the edge of the abyss. Except that this time, I'm not afraid anymore. I got rid of this instinct of not jumping, or at least it became much weaker than before. Intellectually, I know that I'm wearing the belaying bracelets, even if I haven't seen them in action yet. I doubt that Ewald is the kind of person ready to take risks with his own life or Arthur's. Nevertheless, I doubt it influes on my fear of the void, since I really am under the impression that if I jump I'll fall and crash on the ground. But I don't give a damn. I've never been afraid of the void anyway, and killing myself once made my inhibitions disappear
That's why I place myself on the very edge, that's the reason why I dive into the sky, carrying out a swan dive, my arms wide open as if to swallow the universe. It's not trust in Ewald, in magic, or even in Arthur, down below. No, it's greed, it's for the adrenaline.
It's because I always wanted to fly.
The first instants of my fall are pure adrenaline as my body is dashed to the ground, head first. Really fast, and paradoxically with a certain delicacy, the Levitation spell wraps me and slows my fall. It brings my arms up, probably because it's there that the spell takes its source. When I come to a stop, it doesn't have anything to do with the violence of a rope tensing up, like I experienced in my first life. It's a wrapping, cuddly magic that breaks with the fall. I land with the lightness of a dream, quickly joined by Arthur, then Ewald that jumped shortly after me.
The seven year look like they think that jumping like I did was crazy from me, even Arthur doesn't seem overly surprised. He even acknowledges the artistic side of my jump. Meanwhile, I can't help but smile as the adrenaline flows through my veins. I missed it.
Afterwards, Ewld takes care of charging the bracelets while Arthur teaches me the belaying spell they use. It takes me some time to master, and I have the feeling that Ewald would have prefered me to train for a bit more time before starting. But Arthur trusts me, so I belay him. He doesn't climb as high as us, only up to around twenty meters. He then proceeds to climb down, and we don't need to test if my spell is efficient. He belays me as well after I rested for a bit, and we take turns until Ewald is done charging the bracelets. He offers me to climb with Arthur, but I reluctantly confess that I won't be able to climb again to the top today, so I let them climb and keep watch on our stuff.
I admire how enduring Ewald is, and the precision of my mates' moves. They're not bad, for Wizards that are not even supposed to know about this sport. I watch them climb the first ten meters, then get my blue notebook from my bag to write some verses.
Born to climb up to the sky
The path is stone, the way is wall
Always I wanted to fly
And every single time I fall
But for an instant it doesn't matter
Because lightning strikes my shelter
Just for an instant I'm erased
Like all the pain faded
Reach for the stars
Reach for the dreams
The steady stream
Watch it from afar
I finish writing my poem, only halfway happy with how it turned out. I still find it easier to write in French. It offers me more diversity in my words, I'm more used to handling them, and rhymes are easier as well. I rise my head on time to see Ewald finishing climbing the hangover, and Arthur lending him a helping hand. They jump together, more soberly than me.
Once they're here we tidy our stuff, and when Arthur sees me putting my notebook into my bag he asks me if I could show him a poem. I let him read what I just finished writing, since it's not very compromising. In order to avoid letting him handle my book, I hold it myself, and let Ewald read as well when he asks. Arthur congratulates me, the Slytherin stays quiet. We finish tidying our things and put our robes back on. We split at the entrance of the castle, and I decide to go for a shower now, taking advantage of the fact that all the girls probably won't be at the dorm. In any case, that was an interesting afternoon, and I can see that climbing did me a lot of good. The jump as well. It was amazing. Flying… I really need to try out my broom as soon as possible. I know I'm made for this.
xxx
« Quand j'étais petite, je ne me demandais pas pourquoi je vivais. J'existais par défaut, parce que c'était comme ça. Mais une fois que j'ai commencé à me poser la question, elle ne m'a jamais quitté. Et maintenant que j'ai perdu tout ce à quoi je tenais, pourquoi devrais-je me forcer à continuer ainsi ? Rien ne me retient. Je ne vais pas mourir parce que je ne serais pas capable de vivre davantage. Je vais mourir par caprice, parce que je n'ai pas envie de vivre »
"When I was little, I didn't ask myself why I was alive. I was existing by default, because it was the way it was. But once I started asking myself the question, it never left me. And now that I lost everything I cared about, why should I force myself to keep on going? Nothing is holding me back. I will not die because I wouldn't be able to live any more. I will die on a whim, because I don't feel like living."
-SMS sent by Aurore Berger to Quentin Lemage on the 01/07/06-
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you enjoy reading my story, please let me know, that's pretty much the only gratification I'll ever get for sharing this story. I'm also taking constructive feedback! (but be aware that this is a translation of a fic that has 20 more chapters in the original language, so I will use the feedback... But later).
See you